A Real Knight
by Cariel
Summary: Dormé leaves Naboo at a young age to find a better life of Coruscant. Her life is soon entangled in Anakin's. Few people know of their friendship and Anakin struggles to protect the one thing in his life that he considers sacred. A/D, light A/P, Ferus/OC
1. A True Friend

**A Real Knight**

**by Cariel and Jody  
**

Anakin was in a rush to get back to the temple. The hour was late and he was running behind. He had sworn to his brother that he would be back at a decent hour, but once he arrived at the local speeder race, Anakin completely forgot about the time. While he had often heard about the speeder races and participated in a few, it had always been small scale. This was the first formal race he had been involved in since his time on Tatooine. It was also the first time that Anakin earned money for his wins and truthfully, the first time he ever had any money. It was a proud moment indeed for the young man and he was in good spirits.

That was until he found himself wandering about in circles, attempting to find the transport that would take him back to the upper regions of Coruscant's surface. After taking a transport that took him the wrong way, Anakin decided he had about enough and sought out the nearest friendly faces he could find. Perhaps the locals might know a way back.

Passing by a rather dingy looking club with a group of friendly looking woman, Anakin decided to take his chances. Surely, they would know the way. Approaching he took notice that all were quite beautiful, but in a forced way. He didn't understand what it meant and thought it was just part of the planets society as everything here had an almost unnatural feeling to it. It was as though wearing masks could mean the difference between survival and death.

'Um...Excuse me, madam—' he began with a sheepish smile. 'I don't suppose you could tell me where I can find a transport that will take me to the upper north sectors could you?'

Anakin sighed in relief as one approached as he mistook her wolfish grin as a friendly smile.

'Oh you poor thing! You're lost, aren't you love?' she purred.

Anakin bit his lip, feeling his cheeks warm. His people skills were limited at best and he felt awkward and vulnerable for it. The woman seemed sincere; however, as in his nativity he took her words at face values. 'A little. I was just at the races by the old ship yards and now I'm trying to make my way back home,' he professed.

The woman grinned as she raised a brow. 'Oh you're a racer are you? I love a man who loves life in the fast lane,' she continued.

Anakin looked at her in confusion. He had no idea what she meant and gave a polite smile as he attempted to play along so as not to be mocked. 'Well if you're interested perhaps I could introduce you to some of the other racers. I'm racing again two days from now actually,' Anakin professed with a shy smile. He didn't understand why the other women found him so amusing or what he had said that was so funny. He gave another sheepish grin trying to play along, but it was clear his thoughts were elsewhere.

'So can you help me find my way back?' he tried again.

The woman gave another impish grin as she slipped an arm around his waist causing Anakin's cheeks to warm. But he didn't pay it much mind as the woman was clearly much older than him and Anakin mistook her gesture as a mark of sisterly kindness.

'Love, I can do much more than help you find your way home,' she began.

Anakin smiled in relief. In a place as fast and hard as Coruscant, it was nice to see not everyone was entirely without a heart.

A young girl hummed to herself to colour her loneliness in the growing darkness of the night as she walked home from her work in Coruscant's Undercity. She stumbled upon the strange boy with a funny looking braid speaking to a _kinattu_ very politely. He seemed lost and disoriented, clearly not propositioning _kinattu_ in the way men normally did. He looked confused and unsure of himself, very uncomfortable in this environment and looked like he could use a hand.

'There you are!' she announced loudly, going over to him and taking him by the arm in order to lead him away from the _kinattu_ in question.

Anakin jerked back in surprise at the sight of the strange young woman who approached calling out to him. He certainly didn't recognize the girl from the races and raised a brow wondering briefly if she was related to the elder woman. They certainly didn't look related however, but soon it didn't matter as the strange girl was drawing him away from the ladies.

'I have been looking for you everywhere!'

'You have? But I don't-' he began in stunned confusion before catching her words and furrowing his brow.

She whispered to him, 'Play along...'

'Oh right, yes of course, I was looking for you too...I think,' he stammered in reply as he followed the stranger without question.

The _kinattu_ looked disgruntled at first because the young girl had taken away what they assumed to be a chance to make some money; however, they would have been sorely mistaken as the young man had little if any credits on him.

'If you're looking to rob me I'm telling you right now I don't have any money. I spent all see?' he said motioning to his satchel that carried his trinkets and his lightsaber as well.

'I don't need your money,' she said, rolling her eyes as she showed him her own satchel which contained food and a little bit of credits.

'You looked lost and they weren't interested in really helping you get home,' she admitted once they were far enough away. The young girl was actually taking him to her own place, but only as a means of getting him away from the _kinattu_.

'They didn't? Why were they trying to rob me too?' Anakin asked feeling embarrassed at the fact he didn't sense their ulterior motives as he was too distracted by his need to return home. He wondered where she was taking him and more importantly: what happened to her as she looked a little worn out.

'They were _kinattu_...' she began, but then she could tell that he had no idea what she was talking about.

'What's that?' he asked.

'You pay them for sex,' she stated plainly.

His eyes bugged out of his head at her explanation and his cheeks immediately lit up on fire.

'I could tell you weren't doing that and you looked lost, so that's why I got you out of there. It's rough territory.'

'Oh Force but that woman was old enough to be my mother!' he gasped in disgust suddenly wishing the ground beneath his feet would open up and swallow him whole.

Anakin thought this girl was by far the strangest person he had ever met and when she showed Anakin her satchel he shrugged. 'If there is one thing I've learnt about Coruscant is that nothing is as it seems,' he professed with a sheepish grin.

'Where did you say you were trying to go?' she asked, releasing his arm and smearing back part of her ratty hair which had fallen into her face during their escape.

'I am lost. I was actually trying to find a transport that would take me back to the upper north sectors,' he professed at her question before motioning to her sheepishly.

She nodded as he explained where he was heading. 'I can get you there. It's not far,' she said, heading in that direction.

Fortunately, the strange woman was far more kind though it didn't stop Anakin from lightly touching her thoughts just in case. What he found was nothing short of a mystery as though staring at a reflection so familiar and yet so unknown to him. He kept this to himself and was soon taking note of her appearance. 'You okay? I mean it is rather late to be out don't you think?' he asked as he realised that she was even younger than him, or so she appeared.

At his question, she giggled. 'No, I just got off work.'

'You got off work?' he asked with a raised brow. 'Oh, but aren't you young for that? Or do you have a Master,' he asked referring to the possibility that this young woman was a slave as he once was.

'I mean maybe we should get you home first so your parents don't worry,' he professed thinking perhaps she had been out with friends and ran into trouble.

When he mentioned her parents, her expression fell and she paused in her tracks. 'They've never worried about me,' she informed him, 'unless I didn't get paid on time,' she added under her breath. 'They're on Naboo,' she told him.

Her reaction was unexpected and Anakin said nothing for a moment. Her matter-of-fact statement made him feel so guilty even though he hadn't done anything to her.

'I'm sorry I didn't realise,' he professed quietly before his eyes lit up at her next words. 'You're from Naboo?' he asked in surprise. His thoughts immediately turned to the memory of his angel and though he was certain neither knew of the other he couldn't help but feel a connection.

'I have a boss. I had masters before, but I escaped,' she said quickly as though it were nothing important.

'Master Jinn -my father freed me,' Anakin professed before adding in shy tones. 'I'm glad you escaped,' he admitted with a sincere smile.

She nodded at his question. 'What about you? Where are you from?' she asked, having never heard an accent like his before.

At her question, he gave a shrug. 'I'm from Tatooine,' he admitted.

'My mother is still there,' he explained before adding quickly. 'But one day I'm going to return and free her as my father freed me.'

'Tatooine? What's it like? I've never been there. Is it nice?'

Anakin chuckled at the girl's question and shook his head to her questions. 'It's a desert, not exactly a nice place, but it was home at least for me,' Anakin admitted with a sheepish grin. He wanted to ask her what life was like on Naboo but refrained.

It was only then that Anakin realised he didn't even know the girls name. 'I'm Anakin by the way-' he began with a boyish grin.

'Dormé,' she replied just as they neared the transports. She explained which one he was to get on to take him to his destination, but then found herself reluctant to leave.

'Dormé,' he murmured letting the name roll off his tongue. He liked the way it sounded and it made him smile. He put it to memory as well as her instructions but when it was time for them to part ways Anakin grew hesitant.

'It was nice meeting you, Anakin,' she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

'It was nice to meet you too, Dormé,' he said in shy tones finding he rather liked the way his name sounded through her accent. However, he faltered then noting in the back of his mind that Dormé was just as reluctant to part ways with him as he was with her.

The hour was late and despite knowing he was going to be incredibly late, Anakin couldn't just leave the petite beauty. It was dark after all and as she said it was a seedy area and he was a Jedi was he not?

'Dormé, would you- May I walk you home?' he blurted out suddenly before blushing a bright red.

'I don't want you to get lost though—'

Anakin shook his head at her words, assuring her that he wouldn't get lost, not anymore. 'I mean it's late and like you said it's not a great area. And besides I know where I'm going now so it's not like I'll get lost again and be getting more directions from those -_kinitos_,' he said with a sheepish grin unaware that he had mispronounced the Uriashian term.

Dormé laughed when he mispronounced kinattu, but didn't mention it. 'I should hope not,' she replied.

Her laughter brought another smile to his lips and he decided then and there that he rather liked this young lady. As impossible as he knew it was, a part of him hoped they could be friends.

'Are you sure?' she asked, studying his eyes. She had never met anyone like Anakin before. Dormé nodded. 'If you want to.'

Her amber eyes met his and Anakin shifted slightly feeling as though she were peering into his very soul. 'I'd like to,' he admitted in a voice that was quieter than he would have liked. He couldn't shake the feeling that if she were to ask him to walk to the realms of chaos with her Anakin would.

Dormé led the way to the dilapidated building and the flat she shared with three other young girls illegally. It had running water, but no heat or air conditioning. The walls were paper thin and part of the ceiling is crumbling. There was only one bed, which two of the girls slept on and pallets on the floor which Dormé and another girl slept. Even so, it was clean, because Dormé was adamant about keeping it sanitary.

Anakin followed her to a small run down building and was horrified to discover that this was her home. Stunned to silence, he stepped inside noticing immediately that it was colder inside than it was outside, a clear sign of lack of heat. The walls looked about ready to fold in on itself as did the ceiling. The beds -if one could call the pallets caused Anakin to stare. Suddenly his life as a slave was close to royalty.

'...Oh Force,' he whispered struggling to take it all in. This couldn't be real, could it? No, this had to be some awful joke. Dormé hardly seemed fazed and despite having literally nothing to offer, she was every bit the generous hostess.

'Did you want something to eat or drink?' she asked, setting her satchel on the counter and taking out her purchases.

Anakin found the words would not come as the lump in his throat wouldn't permit him to speak. He weakly shook his head at her words and bit his lip as he stared at Dormé in concern and sorrow. He tried to hide his shock, thinking of how he felt upon meeting his _angel_ for the first time. He knew Padmé didn't mean her callous words, but they hurt nonetheless and Anakin had no intention of hurting his new friend.

When he said he didn't want anything, she shrugged and sat on the floor before tucking in to the bread and other items she bought earlier, for she was hungry and it had been a long day at work.

Anakin soon took a seat beside her on the floor noting then that despite its horrific state Dormé's home was incredibly clean. He had no doubt in his mind that the young girl by his side was the reason for this but kept these thoughts to himself. 'I don't suppose you'd like to stay at my place tonight would you?' he offered in shy tones. 'I mean we could watch holo-films if you like and I can show you my inventions too,' Anakin continued with a sincere smile.

Dormé took note of two of the other girls were already asleep and one had not yet returned. She looked at him curiously. 'That's very kind of you, but I have to be at work in a few hours,' she said. 'I know you said you were from the upper district and by the time we got there, I'd have to come back.'

'Work? But you just got off work!' Anakin sputtered out deciding that his mother was right when she said there were worst things in this world than being a slave.

'Yes,' she said, with her mouth full. 'I have two jobs since they don't allow kids to work the amount of hours I need a week to pay for my part of rent and for food and stuff,' she explained between bites. Dormé scarfed her food down and wiped her mouth on her sleeve, unaware that it was not appropriate behaviour since she hadn't learned proper table manners yet. She smiled at him.

Anakin stared at her in disbelief. 'Two jobs? But you look even younger than me! I thought this was illegal! Padmé even told me so!' Anakin argued in shock his expression growing even more troubled.

He fell silent as her words settled in. Surely his dear angel wasn't aware of this crime, surely if she knew the Naboo queen would do whatever she could to end this atrocity. But then this was Coruscant, not Naboo.

'I can't believe they'd make you pay for this place,' he murmured sadly. 'You deserve a better life than this. I say you should come and live with me,' Anakin said softly.

'Live with you? You don't even know me,' she giggled.

'That way you don't have to work two jobs anymore and then you can sleep over all the time and I can show you how to make forts out of sheets and we can watch holo-vids and I can show you my creations,' Anakin continued his eyes lighting up to the possibilities.

'And I can give you rides to wherever you like with my speeder -well I'm going to be getting a speeder soon,' Anakin quickly added not really registering the reality of the situation.

Though it all sounded very nice, she didn't know this boy either. After her past experiences living with men she didn't know well, she wasn't so sure it was a good idea.

Dormé shook her head sadly. 'Thank you, though.' The last thing she wanted was to ruin her memory of this boy. He was so nice and thoughtful. She wanted to keep this memory just as it was.

Despite being fifteen years of age, Anakin was in many ways dangerously naive. He didn't understand, nor could he hope to understand, the experiences that Dormé had been through or why she was reluctant to stay with him. He tried not to be hurt by her refusal as he bit his lip and nodded in understanding. He wondered if she was reluctant to leave this place because she felt bad about leaving her friends here. Anakin knew as much as he wanted to help that there would be no way for him to bring all the young girls home and thus tried his best to understand where Dormé was coming from.

Nevertheless, it didn't stop him from being fearful of his actions, that somehow his offer had offended her. Anakin hoped that she would still want to be a friend. He never had a real friend before, someone who actually liked him as a person, not as a prophecy or a techno-junkie who could fix or build anything mechanical. It was for this reason he only hinted at the temple and didn't freely speak of the Jedi. Now he was on the verge of finding someone who seemed genuinely interested in being his friend and Anakin didn't want to do anything that would ruin his chances.

'I understand,' he replied quietly before adding in shy tones. 'You don't hate me now, don't you? I mean I can still be your friend can't I?' Anakin asked as he studied her with guarded hope. He didn't mean to sound so forward and hoped Dormé knew that it wasn't his intent to separate her from her friends or cause her to abandon them.

'Hate you?' Dormé blinked in confusion, shaking her head. She had no idea why this boy would think she hated him merely because she refused to move in with him.

'You're not angry with me because I said I didn't want to go live with you, are you? I just—' She stopped herself short and decided maybe when she knew him a little better she could tell him more about herself and the things she had experienced before meeting him. In time, it would become much easier to trust him.

'Actually I thought you'd be mad at me for being so -how does Obi-Wan put it? Being so forward,' Anakin professed trying to ignore Dormé's faltering. It was clear that she wanted to tell him more but he wasn't about to press on why she fell silent. It wasn't his place and he didn't wish to intrude.

'I would really like to be your friend, Anakin,' she said confidently.

Dormé then had an idea. 'Since you get lost a lot. I'm going to write down the directions I told you about how to get to the transport from here and get back to your home,' she said, writing it on piece of cloth with a marking tool she used at work. 'And this is my name Dormé so you don't forget me. And this is where I'm living now...' She wrote the address down. 'And the two places I work at and when, in case you can stop by after work, if you want.'

He grinned upon hearing that she still wanted to be his friend and felt a rush of hope at her words. As she explained how to find her, who she was and where she worked Anakin put it all to memory along with her Force signature. It was clear even to him that Dormé was someone who moved with the wind, anything in the name of survival and he wanted to make sure that he would not lose touch with her.

But when it came to his turn to speak of his home, Anakin felt hesitant. He didn't want to bring up the fact he was a Jedi as that implied titles, ranks, and the last thing he wanted was for Dormé to see him as anything more than just who he was. Anakin had a feeling though that in the end, it wouldn't matter to her and the thought brought another smile to his features.

'I generally race at the old pod tracks a ways from here. You know where the old factories are? It's just behind them. Sometimes I race on the upper levels but usually I'll be found there,' Anakin professed with a shy smile.

She yawned and stretched, feeling quite exhausted from the long hours she worked, but knew it was worth it, having met her new friend. 'So long as you promise not to steal anything, I'm going to sleep now,' she informed him so as not to be rude and fall asleep with him talking to her.

Anakin blushed as he quickly shook his head. 'You're safe with me,' he assured her

Dormé gave him a hug and then found her tattered blanket and curled up on the cold floor. It wasn't long before she was fast asleep, giving her sore muscles a chance to rest before having to wake up and start all over again.

Her touch was warm and inviting and he couldn't help but readily returning it before giving a shy kiss on the cheek as a means of wishing her a good rest.

Watching her for a moment, he debated joining her, but felt it wasn't appropriate. Instead, he removed his cloak and gently covered her with it before quietly departing for home with the map tightly held in hand.

* * *

A/N: Coming soon - By the time Anakin is able to visit his new friend, he finds that she has moved on.


	2. A Picnic

Whenever Anakin went to a race, he kept an eye out for his new friend, but much to his disappointment, he was unable to see her. Though he thought of her often, opportunity gave him little chance to see his friend as he was soon embarking on mission with his master so as to further his skills. It was some months before he had a chance to find his way back to his friend's shanty. By then, Dormé had long since moved on, as he was informed by a rather rugged looking young girl.

'Do you know where she went? Where does she live now did she say?' Anakin asked in concern.

The girl shrugged and gave a name Anakin had never heard of before. 'She does translations and now works for some government, I think. I don't know,' the girl professed with more than a hint of envy in her voice.

Anakin cursed and tried to pry her thoughts for more information. Little of use was revealed and he was forced to depart home. He wondered if he would ever see his friend again and cursed himself for having not tried to reach her sooner.

Anakin tried to find his new friend it was hard, as he had nothing to go on save a name that he later-after much searching-discovered was the name of Dormé's new boss. Upon learning this piece of information, he was able to locate her with a little luck and a lot of patience. He was determined to see his friend again and didn't care that if he was late for his training or meetings because he was spending long hours hunting her down. Spare time was still spent at the races although it was harder now to slip off as his training had become so much more intense and often involved off-world missions.

In the end, however, he was able to find her address and it was with great sense of nervousness, Anakin prepared his surprise. He was incredibly relieved to know she had moved on up to a safer location and now had a place of her own. He still worried she wouldn't be able to make ends meet and promised this time to make himself less of a stranger in her life.

As he landed his new speeder—which was in reality the temple's—Anakin's eyes fell to the swollen satchel that held his gifts for Dormé. During his missions, he would often spend his quiet time building and making things he thought Dormé might like. Some were useful, designed for cleaning, others were just for entertainment a small device that played holo-vids but looked like a little creature from the Tatooine deserts. There was a thick blanket—-bought with winnings from races—and some dishes he had purchased from the markets also with the small winnings earned and saved. He hoped she hadn't forgotten him and feared she might have though he didn't blame her if she had.

With satchel in hand and the small tattered piece of material in hand, Anakin approached her apartment. Ringing the chime, he held his breath and prayed she'd be home and that he wasn't too early. Anakin uttered a thousand prayers to the goddess and to the Force that she would still remember him.

Dormé was reading a novel that was getting right to a rather intense part just when the chime rang. '_Araru_,' she cursed when she jumped in shock.

She laid the precious datapad on the single table she owned and opened the door to find her friend standing there. Dormé's eyes went wide in shock. 'Anakin!'

The door parted and Anakin almost dropped his satchel at the sight of Dormé. His heart raced and for a moment, he couldn't speak as he watched her as her eyes went wide. Only upon hearing her speak, his name was Anakin able to breathe again; even then it was hard to respond for the joy was undeniable as was the relief.

'Dormé!' he breathed in relief.

She just gaped at him for a moment, hardly believing this was real. She hesitated only for a moment before laughing and throwing her arms around him. 'Hi, how are you? D'you want to come in?'

He laughed in joy. 'I can't believe—I thought you would have long since forgotten me,' Anakin professed. 'I'm so glad to be here,' Anakin admitted as he entered.

'It's a bit messy. I wasn't expecting any company, but I'm so glad you're here!'

'What mess? It looks incredibly clean to me,' he professed before motioning to the satchel in his hand. 'I don't suppose you have time, I mean I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time,' Anakin continued as he bit his lip.

'No, not at all! I was just reading a holonovel,' Dormé said.

'I have something for you, well I don't know if you'll like it, but I hope you do. I mean, I made some inventions for you, but that's not all,' Anakin rambled on before catching himself as his cheeks burned a bright red. He sheepishly opened up the satchel and offered Dormé a package from it. There was more, but that was a secret he hoped to share with her later on. He gave her a sheepish smile as he watched her open up the package that held his inventions.

'For me?' Dormé asked, feeling a bit sheepish at this. 'But I don't have anything for you—' she admitted as her eyes widened upon seeing the package.

Her surprise made his smile widen though at her admittance he just shook his head and pulled her into a brief hug. 'Just being able to see you again is enough for me,' the padawan professed in shy tones.

She smiled at his kind words, but it would take more than words to prove to her that he was being sincere and that she could always trust him. She made all sorts of appreciative and surprised noises as she examined the inventions. In truth, Dormé had no idea what most of them were and asked him to explain what each and every one of them was and what they did. The explanation garnered even more enthusiastic responses from Dormé who was floored by his talents.

Dormé's fascination with his creations was unexpected and it made Anakin a little conscious of himself as he was so used to people growing rapidly bored at his explanations. His friend clearly seemed to feel otherwise and this both humbled and filled him with pride. He was so happy to learn that she liked them.

One was for holo-vids he confessed though it moved about like one of the pets he had seen people have back on Tatooine. Another was made to clean up after Dormé in the kitchen as dishes had to be one of the worst things in the universe. The last one was designed to play music she enjoyed and it too was designed to look like some sort of creature this one being from Naboo.

'You made all of these?'

'I thought you could use some little helpers,' Anakin said with a another shy smile at her words.

'Are you sure you want me to keep them? They look so complicated and I know you must have put a lot of time into them... I couldn't possibly keep such magnificent inventions...'

'But they're for you! I made them just for you. I was hoping to give it to you a little sooner, but I kinda had some trouble finding your new home,' Anakin confessed with a sheepish grin. Anakin was incredibly relieved to know that Dormé liked his gifts and didn't find his hobby of creating knick knacks to be foolish or immature like so many others did. Instead she seemed genuinely interested and clearly was happy with his presents

'I'm sorry that I couldn't give you my new address, but I didn't know how to find you—I went to the races a few times, but I never saw you there.'

Anakin felt his cheeks warm. He wished he had left her with a better way of contacting him but he had taken it for granted that he would be able to find her. 'It's my fault. I've been training-er-working off-world and haven't been able to go to the races as much as I would have liked. And the one's I have been in are now on the upper levels,' Anakin sheepishly admitted.

Though the fact he had made it to the bigger leagues of speed racing was something he was proud of, he felt badly for not trying to reach Dormé sooner with this new detail. He was about to speak about the temple but caught himself not wanting to ruin things with the truth of what he was.

She placed the last gadget that she had been examining back down on the table and threw her arms about his shoulders. 'Thank you, Anakin!' They were, in truth the first deliberate gifts anyone had ever given her and it made it that much more special to her.

'You like it? I'm so glad!' Anakin breathed in relief as he gave her a squeeze and a sheepish grin.

He then motioned to his satchel and gave another lopsided grin. 'I have one more surprise for you, but it's a bit of a journey. I understand though if it's too late for, well a midnight picnic,' he admitted sheepishly.

His grin made her giddy inside and she looked at him eagerly. 'I don't have anywhere to be,' she said cheerfully.

'All right, let's go then!' he announced in equally cheerful tones as he took her hand and guided her back out of her apartment. 'I have a speeder now, it's my own, but not really—hard to explain. I guess you could say it's on a loan,' Anakin explained sheepishly as he guided her to where his speeder now resided. 'I'm going to take us to this beautiful garden my mas— Obi-Wan showed me a few weeks ago. I thought you might like it, I hope you do anyways,' Anakin explained with a hopeful smile.

'Oh this is so nice!' she said appreciatively. 'I've seen these before but I've never been in them. Don't drive too fast, OK?'

'I promise not to go too fast,' he assured her as he gave her hand a squeeze. Throughout the entire journey, Anakin was careful to inform his friend of his every action so as not to startle her by sharp turns or sudden drops of height. Her fascination with the speeder was equally touching and Anakin couldn't help but feel so contented for it.

She smiled, fascinated by the vehicle as much as she was by his gifts. The gardens were gorgeous and she also had never seen them before. 'This is like a dream,' she gasped. If it were not for their linked hands, she wouldn't have moved very far.

Anakin wasn't certain if Dormé would enjoy something as simple as the upper Coruscant gardens and was nervous about showing it to her. He knew just by observing the girls from the races and from much of his colleagues at the temple that gardens was generally considered to be boring. For Anakin it was one of the few places that left him feeling at peace, he hoped that his friend shared a little of this feeling.

'Oh and the fountains—wow!' She was wide-eyed with wonder. 'Anakin look!' Dormé pointed to different flowers and things that she found interesting, pulling him through the garden happily. She nearly forgot about the picnic that he mentioned earlier.

He didn't bother speaking a word as he could tell by her emotions that her thoughts were entirely elsewhere. Anakin didn't mind as he could still recall the first time he ever saw Naboo and how breathless it left him. With a smile he allowed Dormé to guide him throughout the more obscure regions of the gardens, the places even he had yet to see. Her joy was contagious and he couldn't help but feel just as excited by it all as she looked to him. It was thrilling ot know he wasn't the only one who loved this place, although when she spoke of the fountains he couldn't help but grow hesitant.

'I don't mind if you peek at the fountains, but as for me I'd rather remain here and get things set up,' he murmured nervously. He didn't want to get too close to the bodies of water and remained put deciding this was as good a place as any to set up their picnic.

'All right. I'll be back! Dormé said before giggling as she raced over to explore the fountains. She found it marvellous to see the water spouting up out of various finely crafted marble figures. She couldn't resist dipping her hand in and out of the water, seeing that underneath there was a space that you would not get wet under, although you had to pass through the water first.

Though the flora and fauna intrigued her, it was the fountain that held her captivated until passer-bys interrupted her. Their presence caused her to remember her friend and she ran back to where she thought she had left him, only to realise he might have left. 'Anakin?' she called, wondering if she had taken too long or if she was just turned around.

Dormé began to search for her friend and hoped he hadn't gotten bored and left her there alone. 'Anakin?'

Anakin found a spot nearby that was safely away from the fountain but within sight. He set out the blanket and the dishes of prepared food he had bought with his winnings from the races while peeking up every now and then at the fountain in hopes of catching sight of his dear friend. Though she was out of sight, Anakin could feel her Force signature nearby and it kept him from growing concerned.

Just about to locate her as everything was set up when he felt a shift in her emotions. Furrowing his brow Anakin briefly wondered if she was okay but was soon hearing her calling his name. Realizing she didn't know where she was, the padawan couldn't help but grin impishly as he decided he would just have to sneak up on his friend.

Moving quietly through the brush and the trees, but not straying off the path, Anakin sneaked up behind Dormé and just as she had her back turned to him Anakin approached and tickled her sides as he gave a shout.

'GOT YOU!' he crowed before bursting into laughter thinking that this was by far the funniest trick he had played on her yet.

Dormé yelped, inhaling sharply before laughing as he tickled her.

Anakin beamed in joy and roared in laughter as Dormé cried out. Her joy and laughter warmed his heart and made it skip a beat though he couldn't truly understand why. There was something about her eyes, her smile, the way her freckles danced when she laughed that would later

haunt Anakin's dreams.

'That was not funny!' she said, though she was laughing and her smile said otherwise.

'I thought maybe you left,' Dormé admitted. 'I'm glad you didn't!'

'Why would I leave you? You're my friend I'd never do that!' Anakin admitted before grinning and pretending to dodge her attack although not really trying too hard.

She hugged him briefly before threatening, 'Although if you did, I would just have to get you back,' as she poked him in the side.

'Get me back? Well you'd have to catch me first!' Anakin crowed before taking off down the path that would lead them back to the picnic blanket.

Dormé didn't explain why she thought he might have left, but teased him instead. Soon she was racing after him only to stop when she saw what he had waiting for her. 'Oh my—' she gasped, unable to finish the sentence.

To her it looked like a feast. Aside from when she was shopping for food in markets, Dormé had never seen so much set up for just two people. Even though she was making more credits now, she knew how much such things cost and appreciated it before even having a chance to enjoy it.

She followed his lead and sat down on the blanket, her eyes wide while her expression was a mixture of shock and humble joy.

Anakin immediately grew shy at Dormé's reaction feeling a mixture of relief as she took it all in. 'I hope you like some of this, I wasn't sure what sort of foods you enjoyed so I tried to get a little of everything,' he professed in shy tones.

'I got most of this from the markets, I really don't know how to cook myself or rather I've tried but with no success anyways,' Anakin said with a nervous smile.

'That's OK. I've only just started to learn how to cook. Maybe someday I can make something for you,' Dormé said cheerfully as they began to eat.

Anakin's eyes lit up. This was an unexpected discovery to say the least. 'You can cook? What do you make?' he asked.

Dormé grinned. 'I've only just started, mainly basic things,' she explained, naming a few dishes in addition to the things she was going to try soon. 'I'm not that bad. I haven't poisoned myself yet or anything,' she laughed.

'I wish I could say the same,' Anakin admitted before snickering to the memory of his attempts to cook. 'The last time I tried I used the wrong type of container and almost burned down the kitchen. Obi-Wan wasn't exactly happy with me after that one so now I'm forbidden to cook,' Anakin said with a grin.

'Who's Obi-Wan?' she asked as he helped have a seat on the blanket.

Anakin poured the two of them something to drink. Anakin shrugged at her question not really wanting to speak of the temple or his life as a Jedi. 'He's my mentor and brother,' he answered, offering her a glass.

'What is this?' she asked about the drink. It was a little sweet and very smooth. She enjoyed the taste of it.

'It's blue milk. Took me forever to find someone who sold it nevermind find someone who sells it fresh!' Anakin explained

'You like it? Everyone else I know seems to think its tastes 'disgusting',' Anakin professed with a shy smile.

So much of the items were unfamiliar to her. She enjoyed every bite, except for one of the dishes which she thought was rather foul. Even though it had smelled bad to her, she gave it a try, if only to try something new and to not offend her friend.

Although her table manners had not really improved, the entire time, she tried to mimic her friend, especially in how to eat some of the dishes. 'I think I haven't tried most of these things,' she admitted shyly as she sipped on her drink.

Her admittance made him grow shy and he bit his lip as he gave her a sheepish smile. 'I won't lie; I haven't tried many of these before tonight either. I wasn't sure what you'd like so I grabbed a variety of different Naboo dishes,' Anakin confessed before snickering at her words.

'I'm about to explode I'm so full!'

'Me too! So if I were to poke you like this would you burst like a desert plum?' Anakin teased as he gave her a playful poke.

'I don't—' she began, trying to say she didn't know what a desert plum was, but burst out laughing instead.

Dormé tried to gasp out his name while trying to push him away and get him back.

'Oh you're terrible! I'll make you pay for this!' he teased as he tried to tickle her again.

Reeling with laughter, she fought back until she had to call a time out to catch her breath. The rest of the blue milk was a great refreshment after the tickle fight.

When it started to get a little chilly, she suggested they go back to her apartment. '...so you can show me how to work the holovid player again. I think I'll have to write out the instructions so I can remember how to operate it!'

'Of course I'd be glad to help, maybe we could watch a short vid unless you think it's too late,' Anakin offered not wanting to part ways with Dormé. He slipped the blanket around her shoulders.

'Yes! I don't have many to choose from, I'm afraid,' she admitted shyly as she boarded the speeder. Dormé hoped that he would be able to stay and was glad that he took her up on coming over for a little while.

Anakin gave her a reassuring smile and helped her back into the speeder. 'I'm sure whatever you have will be just fine,' he said kindly as he started up the ships controls.

Somehow, Dormé felt that, even though this was only the second time that she had seen Anakin, she had known him for ages.


	3. A Confession

Her apartment was cosy and warm leaving Anakin to relax. When Dormé grabbed the device that cleaned her dishes, Anakin shyly showed her the proper device. 'I used to get them both confused too that's why I made them into different creatures,' he confessed with a shy smile.

'I should probably label them or something!' she said, slightly embarrassed.

'Once you get used to them you'll know what I mean,' Anakin assured her before showing Dormé how to activate the holovid player.

'Oh I see now,' Dormé said.

'Anything in particular you'd like to watch?' he asked already deciding he'd have to find her some more vids she might like in the future.

'As far as vids go, these are the ones I have,' Dormé said, pulling out the two discs.

'I know they're bootleg, but it's all I could afford. That one cuts off a bit in some parts and the other is dubbed but it's got captions.' She shrugged. 'Whichever one you haven't seen!'

'I don't mind,' he admitted truthfully feeling so happy to be able to spend time with his friend and not really caring how bad the movies qualities were.

'Actually I haven't seen either, but they both sound interesting -I mean the titles do anyways,' he professed sheepishly. 'Do you have a favorite?' he asked.

'How about both?' she decided, putting the first one in backwards until he corrected her. She got comfy on her bed, which was the only other place that would do for watching films. The projector was set on one of the chairs and looked nice.

He blushed and grew sheepish and soon was pulling in for a hug. Without registering his actions or even realizing the meaning behind them, he kissed her cheek. As the movie began, he took out the blanket from the picnic and wrapped it around them.

Anakin was humbled that Dormé kept his old cloak and was even more touched when she drifted to sleep holding it tightly. His own fingers slipped to the tattered piece of cloth that was the map she made him awhile ago. Anakin smiled finding reassurance in its worn felt and soon was drifting to sleep himself with his arm still holding Dormé and the other clinging onto her little cloth map.

Dormé was warm and content the entire night, grateful for her new job that afforded her the new apartment and for her dear friend that was teaching her more about the galaxy.

When she awoke, she was surprised to find her friend was still there, hoping she hadn't kept him away from duties or anything. At the same time, she nuzzled closer and held him in return. It was much better than holding onto his cloak. Later when she was more awake than sleepy, she noticed the cloth in his hand, but wasn't able to examine it closely. However, she recognised the faded pattern. Dormé couldn't believe that he'd kept it. She smiled.

It was some time later when he stirred to find himself being held by Dormé who now was nuzzled against him. He purred in contentment and in his sleepy state was soon moving to bury his face in her hair while murmuring something incoherent in Huttese. It wasn't long before his fingers were twisting the strands of her long hair and he was softly snoring once more.

When Anakin did awaken and was more coherent he couldn't help but turn a bright shade of red. He hadn't meant to spend the night here and felt guilty for having overstayed his welcome -or so he believed.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean to doze off,' he confessed with a sheepish look.

'Oh that's OK,' Dormé replied.

'I guess I should be going,' he said reluctantly before remembering that today was a free day for him.

Her expression grew sad. 'I'm sorry,' she said, feeling as though it were her fault for not waking up earlier.

'Although, if you have nothing else planned—I mean if you don't mind, maybe you could join me for breakfast or something?' he asked in shy tones. 'It's just today is a free day for me I don't know if you have plans already but I wouldn't mind—well if you wouldn't mind of course spending time with you,' Anakin rambled before catching himself and blushing even more.

Her eyes lit up at his shy statement. 'I'd love to. No, I don't have anything. I'm just waiting for my next job, whenever they contact me about translations.'

'It's been so long since we last saw each other I just thought-' he shrugged then as he gave a sheepish but hopeful smile.

Dormé grinned, thinking that it was really a long time as well since they first met and she was eager to get to know her friend even more. 'I think that would be wonderful!'

'Perfect!' he said eagerly at her admittance and soon he was rushing off to the fresher only to pause just outside the door as he gave Dormé a sheepish smile.

'Is it alright if I washed up?' he asked only then remembering his manners and knowing he had some clean clothes in his bag. Anakin had Obi-Wan to thank for that as his master was constantly reminding him to always be prepared.

Dormé nodded eagerly to his invitation and also to his question. 'Of course,' she said.

'I won't be long, I promise, and then we can go get some breakfast!' he added already looking forward to spending the day with his friend.

Dormé was unaware that he intended on the two of them going somewhere to have breakfast and started going through her cupboards, looking for things he might be interested in having for breakfast. She didn't have much and was a little embarrassed about it. She would have to stop at the store before fixing them anything.

Anakin was quick to shower and wash up though he took some extra time to groom himself in order to look good for his dear friend. The real reasons for his need to impress Dormé still evaded him, but it didn't stop Anakin from running his fingers through his spiky hair as he had no brush.

Once he was satisfied, that he looked as best he could Anakin returned to find his friend rooting about in the kitchen. Raising a brow in curiosity, he joined her as he couldn't help but wonder what she was doing.

'Have you changed your mind? Was it something I said? Did I take too long washing up?' he asked feeling a little disappointed that she decided against his invitation after all.

Dormé looked up at him curiously with a bit of regret at first. 'No, I just have to purchase some things at the market, as I haven't got much in the way of breakfast,' she admitted shyly. 'I wasn't offended. If anything I would expect you would be of me, but had I known you were staying I would have been better prepared.'

Anakin felt bad for not being clearer in his words and blushed a deep red to her admittance. 'Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realise. I mean, I don't mind if you'd rather have breakfast here. I just thought maybe—' Anakin began before biting his lip as he offered a sheepish smile.

'I'm sorry if I offended you I just didn't think you'd want to spend the day with a smelly person,' Anakin said trying to lighten the mood unaware that Dormé didn't realise he was inviting her out for breakfast and was making him some instead.

She blushed deeply before saying, 'I should wash up too then. I'll be quick,' before dashing in the fresher herself. However, unlike her friend, she did not take her change of clothes with her. Instead, she emerged naked from the fresher and went to her small wardrobe to slip something on.

As Dormé washed up Anakin looked around her quarters taking it all in and getting ideas of other possible creations he could make for her.

Once she was dressed and ready to depart Anakin took her hand and gave a mock bow as he kissed her palm before offering her an impish grin. 'Well then, milady, shall we depart?' he said trying to mimic his master and brother's accent but unable to hold back his snickers.

When she finished changing, she was caught off guard by the way he treated her. No one ever treated her as worth more than a slave and here he was calling her a lady, even if he was just kidding. Even if he were only joking, she felt honoured to be treated like this. 'Thank you kind sir,' she replied, trying her hand at bowing like she had seen the richer women in the senatorial district. It was sloppy but it was her best attempt.

'Then let us be off,' he said in the mock accent as he took her hand into his own and gave it a squeeze. Anakin loved how it felt against his own fingers and was soon guiding her back to his speeder once more.

'Forgot to ask, where would you like to go to eat?' Anakin offered as he helped her into the speeder before taking his place in the pilot's seat and starting up the ship. 'Or would you rather we go to the market first and then find some breakfast?'

Dormé gasped at the question, her mind going blank. 'To be honest, I haven't eaten anywhere around here. I haven't—well, I haven't gone to places to eat. I've heard about it, but—before I couldn't really—well I couldn't afford it...and once I could, I thought it was a little expensive, since it's less credits to make your own food.' She fell silent, feeling a little embarrassed about this. 'I don't mind where we go...maybe you know of a good place?'

He grew shy as he slipped his hand into Dormé's own. 'I've never went to a proper café or restaurant really before. At least not on my own,' he admitted with a shy look. 'The only time was ever at one was because I had to attend some meeting that my—Obi-Wan had to go to. So this will be a first for me too.'

'Perhaps we can just find a place that looks nice to eat together? I have my winnings from the races to use,' he admitted as he showed Dormé the credits earned. 'I'm not so good with this sort of thing so you'll have to help me,' he professed with a sheepish look.

'I'd like that,' Dormé agreed, smiling at him.

In the end, Dormé had to pay for a good portion of the meal as it turned out the bill was a little more than expected, but she didn't tell him. Afterwards, she bought a few things at the market that she would need for the week, though buying a little more than usual, in case Anakin might be able to visit her more often.

She enjoyed getting his opinions on things, including food varieties and learning what she could about him in the process.

'Maybe one day you can show me how you make your dishes?' Anakin asked eagerly before remembering about the blue milk. It was then he also remembered the one place that sold it.

'Of course! Maybe later if you have time of course,' she said.

'Oh you know if you want, I can show you where to go to get good blue milk!' he announced suddenly as he took her hand with his free hand—as the other was carrying the bags he stubbornly wouldn't let her carry—and guided her through the marketplace.

'Yes, please!' Even though she was running low on credits now, she couldn't help spending the last bit on some blue milk, if only for her friend's enjoyment. While she liked the blue drink very much, she was more eager to start experimenting with it in recipes to see if she could concoct something Anakin would enjoy.

'It's a bit expensive; I'm sorry to say, but I think it's because it's hard to get around these parts,' Anakin admitted sheepishly wishing now he had more credits so he could buy it for her.

After buying the blue milk, they returned to her apartment and put things away. 'I'm definitely well stocked now'

'There I think that's the last of it,' he said upon putting away some vegetables that he never knew existed until today.

'Thanks for your help, Anakin.' She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Anakin was quick to kiss her back, but missed her cheek in his need to return the favour before he lost his courage and ended up giving Dormé a peck on the lips.

Dormé's eyes went wide as his lips briefly met her own. Shocked, she didn't really hear what he was saying as he apologised. She touched her lips with her fingers, unaware that she too was glowing bright red. Dormé just looked at him with her eyes wide, unable to say anything for a moment.

His eyes grew wide in shock and he turned an even brighter shade of red. 'Oh Force, I'm so sorry! I meant to kiss your cheek,' Anakin said in quick an apologetic tones though he couldn't deny that he was intrigued by the spark felt when his lips touched hers.

Though Dormé had been kissed before, it was the aggressive, forceful type of kiss which she fought to be free of. Her view of the opposite sex had never been very positive until she met Anakin. At first, she was concerned that Anakin, whom she hadn't really viewed as anything but a friend, despite the fact he was a boy, was going to turn into one of those men.

Anakin felt horrified by his actions and utterly shamed as well. He hadn't meant to do that at all and yet there he couldn't deny that he was rather intrigued by the emotions it had awoken within him. It was all so confusing, yet in a nice sort of way.

However, it was his apologetic tone, his embarrassment, and demeanour that spoke otherwise. He was nothing like anyone she had ever met before and certainly, that kiss was far from demanding or forceful. It was an accident. Even flashes of the men groping her and sticking their tongues down her throat as they tried to get more from her invaded her thoughts and she bowed her head.

He bit his lip, unable to ignore the rush of fear felt as Dormé bowed her head. Anakin was certain that Dormé would want nothing to do with him now, that this was the end of their friendship.

'Anakin...' she began tentatively. 'Don't be angry with me, but I have to ask you a question...' Some hair fell in her face when she lowered her head and Dormé smoothed it behind her ears as she figured out how to ask him. She recalled how kind he had been the first night they met. She remembered how unfamiliar he was with that area of Coruscant. He knew nothing of that sort of life. Looking back, she knew that now.

Anakin studied her in silence listening intently as she spoke. Furrowing his brow Anakin remained silent not wishing to interrupt and yet curious to know what was on her mind. Her emotions revealed little of her thoughts. While Anakin feared Dormé was going to ask him to leave or worse, a greater part of him wanted to comfort her. However he respected her silence and watched patiently as she drew back her hair behind her ears while waiting for her to speak further.

His silence, while hesitant also made her slightly more comfortable about speaking. His eyes revealed both his respect and concern about what she was about to ask. Instead of asking straight away, she decided it would be all right to tell him a little bit about her past, shameful as it was. 'When I first came to Coruscant, I didn't really have a lot of options as far as work, since I had only worked in textiles and I didn't have a lot of credits...' she began hesitantly, knowing some of this he was already aware of. 'I naively believed that when people were nice to me that they were good people and—the reason I didn't go with you when you first offered me a nicer place to live is because...well I listened to someone before and moved in with them and...they turned out not to be that nice at all.'

Anakin listened intently as Dormé spoke of the horrors of her past. He was stunned into silence, just as he had been stunned into silence upon witnessing firsthand the life she had been forced to live. Furrowing his brow, Anakin struggled to contain his emotions and his desire to protect her from the things she spoke of. It was too late to undo the past, but it wasn't too late to change the present, to ensure Dormé would never know such suffering in the future.

She bit her lip for a moment before telling him about the older man and how he behaved with enough description that Anakin could understand.

Anakin's eyes filled with unshed tears of sorrow. His heart ached at her words and though every ounce of him longed to hold her close, to promise that he would never let such a thing happen, but Anakin refrained. He couldn't blame Dormé for her hesitance and didn't want to do anything that would put her out of sorts or encourage dark memories.

'So I left and moved in with those other girls...' Getting back on topic and remembering her question, she continued. 'I know it was an accident, but I just want to know if...

She swallowed hard before asking him honestly, 'You wouldn't ever...hit me or make me do something I didn't want to, would you?' Her amber eyes were full of hope and some fear of losing his friendship because of this.

It was her innocent question that tore at his heart, causing Anakin's blue eyes to snap up and meet Dormé's amber gaze. His fingers shook as they reached out to touch her freckled cheek, but Anakin faltered. He was uncertain she would let him show such a simple gesture of affection. 'Dormé, I promise you, I would never hit you, nor would I ever do anything to you that you didn't want me to,' Anakin whispered in a voice thick with emotion and sincerity. His hand once reaching to caress her cheek instead shyly slipped over her hand.

'I'm sorry, but even though it was just an accident, I wish—I really wish you were the first person to kiss me,' she admitted shyly.

He held her gaze as she apologized for something she couldn't even help. A tear escaped his eyes and no longer able to contain himself Anakin hesitantly drew Dormé into an embrace. 'It's not your fault, Dormé. Please don't apologize. It's not your fault,' he whispered. He struggled to contain his own emotions as he could feel the reflection of her memories, emotions of her past haunting the back of his own thoughts.

Dormé didn't want pity, but Anakin didn't offer any. Instead, he hugged her, telling her that she wasn't at fault for what happened. She hadn't thought of the kisses being stolen or that she hadn't done something to deserve that sort of treatment. In fact, she had never been held so gently or treated so nicely before Anakin came into her life.

'Besides, those kisses of the past don't count. They weren't freely given; they were stolen away, so they're not real,' Anakin continued softly hoping to ease a little of her regret. He drew back slightly then and bit his lip as his cheeks began to warm to the thought.

'Perhaps, one day, when we know each other better and when you're ready we could kiss again. And this time, it would be a real kiss, the kind that is actually shared between two people. The sort they talk about in stories,' Anakin offered while feeling startled at the sudden longing for this moment. In the past, he had always imagined he would give his first kiss to the Queen of Naboo. She was his angel, after all. Now, Anakin found himself more intrigued by the hope of properly kissing Dormé instead. It was an intriguing thought, one that left him feeling divided, torn between an odd sense of relief and a rising concern.

Shyly, Dormé returned his embrace, only am to exhale and relax at that moment. His suggestion caused her to pull back and make sure he wasn't kidding around. 'Really?' she asked hopefully. She couldn't help wondering what that would be like and deciding that if it meant they would be friends forever, she would gladly participate.

Anakin's cheeks lit up. He was still convinced that Padmé was his angel, but something within him couldn't deny the budding attraction felt toward his friend. Anakin knew that he would have to be careful about it all. He wanted everything to be perfect for Dormé and was certain that it wouldn't affect his fantasies about the Naboo queen. 'I would like to, I mean whenever you are ready, whenever we are ready,' he admitted softly. 'I don't want you to be rushed or anything. If you never have feelings for me, then it's alright. We'll always be friends. But maybe if one day you do, we could, well, kiss again. But only if you want,' Anakin quickly said as his cheeks really began to burn.

'Me too,' she replied softly. 'I mean, I'd like that too.' Dormé was so glad to hear that not only would they remain friends forever, but he didn't mind that she had those experiences in the past. He still liked her and wanted to be her friend. This added to her confidence that one day she would also be able to open up to him completely, without reservations. Trusting someone was relatively new to her and it made her feel more relieved than words could say.

Anakin blushed feeling his heart race in joy over her words and the hope it held. He offered her a smile and shyly touched her cheek before bowing his head as his smile turned boyish. Anakin never considered the possibility of ever dating a girl before—outside of his daydreams of Padmé—and the possibility was thrilling and yet intimidating as well.

Dormé smiled at him, studying his blue eyes which seemed to be those of an old soul, like the kind she heard about in stories.

Soon he was meeting Dormé's gaze and her smile reassured him that everything was perfect between them. There was a mystery in her amber eyes that wasn't there before, something ancient and yet ageless about the way she looked at him. It was as though she were seeing something in his soul that not even he could explain.

It was there and then it was gone. Dormé was off to try out one of her recipes, leaving Anakin to eagerly follow her, hoping to learn what he could from her.

They spent the rest of the day together and later that evening when she was starting to get tired, Dormé just assumed that he would be staying, forgetting about the fact that this was the end of his free day. She washed up and changed for bed. Then she emerged from the fresher, ready to learn about what he mentioned earlier: tents.

Anakin hadn't intended to remain there for the evening, but he was far too reluctant to part ways with his dear friend either. He was only too happy to show her the basics of tent building. 'The key is to make sure there is enough furniture in the area to act as supports so that way you don't have to worry about it falling on your head while you sleep,' Anakin happily explained as he showed her what he meant.

'Well...' she began, seeing that she really didn't have much in the way of furniture. 'Maybe this would do.' Dormé used some of the wall fixtures to tie the ends of the sheets around to help create the canopy. 'How's that? I think it will stay...'

Dormé was having too much fun with her best friend to consider the fact they would soon be parted. She didn't think about it at all and in truth, felt like they had been and would be together forever.

Once they had a sort of tent, Dormé crawled undernearth, giggling in joy and wonderment. 'Wherever did you come up with this idea? This is neat! Anakin, come see!' she beckoned.

'What were you saying? What did I come up with?' he asked before crawling inside to join her. 'This looks great! Wow we really did it this time!' he continued in joyful glee as he pulled Dormé into a quick but friendly embrace.

Dormé giggled as he landed next to her on the small bed, forgetting what she had asked him in the first place. She hugged him back cheerfully, thinking aloud, 'This is the best idea! I'll just have to keep it like this for awhile, I think.' She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Anakin beamed as Dormé returned his embrace. This was by far his greatest idea yet and Anakin was overjoyed to learn that Dormé loved it so much that she would decide to keep it for a while. Her kiss only added to this feeling and shyly he tried to kiss her back and ended up kissing her nose instead.

'Sorry that was meant for your cheek,' he professed in shy tones before shifting about to get cozy himself. Sleep came far too quickly for his liking and in time morning came leaving Anakin to awake to the sound of his holo-comm chiming. It didn't take long before he realised the time and that he was due back to the temple for his morning meditations and training.

'Oh _echuta_!' he cursed as he sat up only to almost cave the tent in on himself.

'Huh?' Dormé said as she awoke to Anakin's curses.

'Dormé? Dormé! Wake up I have to go!' he said sadly not wanting to leave without at least saying good-bye to his dear friend.

The young girl frowned sadly at his words, not wanting to let her friend leave but knowing she had to. She didn't protest, not wanting to make it harder on either of them. Instead, she rose silently from the bed and helped him pack anything he had brought with him. Dormé also sneaked one of the small bottles of blue milk that she had bought into his satchel when he wasn't looking.

Anakin reluctantly got out of bed and sighed softly before admitting to the truth. 'I'm needed back at the temple. Well not really needed, but my brother won't be happy with me if I don't get back,' he said sadly. His head was still cloudy from waking up and he didn't register that he had told her his true destination. Thankfully, Dormé didn't catch on to it.

She lingered in their final embrace before boldly giving him a kiss on the lips. Dormé prayed that he wouldn't be gone as long as last time and made an oath to herself that she wouldn't move again, at least not without being able to reach him and let him know.

Leaving her was the hardest thing he had ever done and though Anakin didn't say good-bye, he did promise her that he would return as soon as he could.

* * *

A/N: Love, love, love is on the horizon, but as with all Anakin/Dormé novels, the reader knows that such happiness will not be for long, so enjoy it while you can! *cackles*


	4. A Blossoming Love

Dormé replayed their time together over in her head, smiling as she did so. It made her happy to think about him. She remembered how they kissed for the first time and experienced the same emotions once again and she wondered what it was, but knew she really wanted to see him again even more than the last time they parted.

She wanted to see him so badly that nearly every waking thought was of him. Each hour seemed longer than all the time spent in his presence. At the same time, she wanted to impress him with her work. Dormé decided she would also continue playing around with new recipes in hopes she could find something spectacular that he would like or that they might enjoy making together. Every night, she would sleep with his old cloak, but then just after he left, she noticed the blanket he had left for her and it made her heart beat faster. She brought it up to her nose and inhaled deeply.

Even though the tent fell down soon, she didn't recreate it, knowing they would do so together. It wasn't the same without him. She was reluctant to have the sheets washed because they still smelled like him, but she had his cloak and the blanket which was enough.

As she dropped off her latest translation, she couldn't help speaking of her dear friend to some of the other workers in the building. She gushed about him and everything they did together, even though to anyone else it was mundane or silly. Some of them wanted to meet her friend while others were jealous of her. Some gave her a hard time, saying, 'You're too young to be in love, let alone know what it is!'

'Love?' she asked, her wide, auburn eyes looking at them in confusion.

'What else would you call it, dear?' one of the senior staff members laughed.

Dormé didn't recall the rest of their conversation for her head was in the clouds. Love. Putting a name to this new emotion made it that much more real. His revelation made her want to see him again even more than ever before and also made her a little nervous about seeing him as well. Thinking about the kisses they shared made her bluish and she felt anyone looking at her would know what she was thinking about.

On her way home, she picked up a datadisc containing a few holonovels, all romances, for her to read during their time apart. She wanted to be like one of the heroines in the romances, to play a noble part and win her heart's desire. She hoped he would show up unexpectedly, just as the lovers in the romances did.

Lying on her bed, the novel was forgotten as her thoughts melded into dreams spurred by the stories she read. She fantasized about running over to him, tossing her arms around him and kissing him as they did in the stories. Her imaginings were rather innocent, filled with passionate pecks on the lips, but the feelings behind them were just as sincere and real as anyone twice her age. She wasn't completely sure of the implications of such things. In addition, she didn't know if he felt the same way, which meant any implications didn't matter. Her dreams were sweet, thinking about kisses and staying with him forever.

* * *

Anakin tried his best to find ways to see his friend, but it seem his every attempt was either foiled by his brother or by another Jedi. By the time he was successful it was already early evening and he had forgotten that his training was long over and that he was free to leave.

It seemed like an eternity before he arrived to her quarters and by that time his blue milk -which was most delicious- was long since finished and his latest creation was operational. Though it was now quite dark Anakin had faith that his dear friend would still be up as he could see a light shining from where her quarters were located. Smiling to himself, he made his way up to her chambers and pressed the chime.

There was no response, but he could sense her Force signature inside. Furrowing his brow he wondered if she was washing up and tried again. Maybe she hadn't heard him because she was showering. After the third attempt Anakin decided to override the security codes himself. It wasn't hard and soon he was sneaking inside.

It didn't take him long to discover his dear friend sleeping like a beauty in her bed, a datanovel neatly resting by her side. Smiling shyly, he couldn't help but stare for a moment as his cheeks turned a bright red. How he wanted to kiss her full inviting lips and run his fingers through her hair! It was his desire to embrace her that gave Anakin the courage to make his way into the half broken tent. But he was hardly agile and almost as soon as he moved to slip inside his boot got caught in one of the sheets sending him flying forward.

He landed with a thud right next to Dormé's sleeping form with his face almost pressed up against her own.

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped. Her cheeks flushed read in embarrassment and she couldn't speak.

'...Uh...Hello...' he murmured sheepishly as his cheeks lit up on fire. While he was supposedly able to bring about balance to the Force in that moment all Anakin wanted to do was rewind time so he could do it over again and properly this time.

Dormé stared at him, not asking questions about his arrival, but fearing that her affections were legible on her face. Her lips finally moved. 'Anakin—' she said, though her heart asked how long they had. Dormé thought of her fantasies of kissing and embracing him, but it was too much, adding to her embarrassment and making her feel incredibly warm. Suddenly she couldn't look at him anymore and tore her eyes away.

Anakin bit his lip as Dormé's eyes snapped open and she stared at him with obvious surprise. Her cheeks mirrored the colour of his own and for the millionth time Anakin wished he could turn back time and redo it all over again. But then he felt her emotions, the silent invitation as innocent as it was and the padawan found himself unable to resist.

With a boyish grin, he leaned in and kissed her lips just as she looked away. He loved the way her lips tasted against his own and though he knew that Dormé's experiences were less than pleasant Anakin didn't feel any rejection and this gave him courage.

With her eyes closed, Dormé was surprised to find his lips meeting her own and her eyes snapped open again. How she had longed for this moment!

'I missed you so much today,' he admitted softly before giving her another gentle peck.

His words brought a smile to her face and without warning, he was kissing her again. She was so shocked that she forgot to breathe. He made her feel light-headed. 'I—' she said breathlessly, catching herself before admitting what weighed on her heart. 'I missed you too.'

Dormé's arms slowly wrapped around him, tentatively drawing him closer, hoping he wouldn't mind. She never felt he could be close enough to her for a long enough period of time. She was so unsure of herself that she felt rather clumsy for it.

Soon her arms were wrapping around him and Anakin was leaning in to taste her lips once more. This time, his kisses were a little more tentative, careful but still very inexperienced. Despite having been witness to couples more graphic affections -a common sight when one went out drinking after the races. If only he could have been more watchful of the lovers together instead of ignoring them as he chatted with his colleagues. It didn't stop him from at least trying to perfect his kissing skills so as to ensure Dormé would enjoy it as much as he did.

Dormé was just as nervous as Anakin was and she felt warm all over from their multitude of hesitant kisses. Though Dormé had more experience with kissing, it was hardly the pleasant kind and this made her dizzy with joy. She forgot to breathe and was beginning to see stars.

Anakin couldn't explain why the room had suddenly gotten so warm but he certainly wasn't complaining either. He hadn't the slightest clue how to properly kiss a girl but did his best to gauge Dormé's emotions so as to tell if he was doing all right. It was hard to read them however as she was clearly as nervous as he was though he did pick up joy as well. It was for this reason that he found the courage to continue.

She didn't want to offend him, but had to pull away lest she pass out. Breathing hard she looked at him again, trying to catch her breath so she could apologise. She hoped he wouldn't be offended that she pulled back.

Just when Anakin was certain he was on the verge of figuring out this kissing business, Dormé was pulling away. Furrowing his brow, he studied her in confusion and then felt his cheeks burn having believed he had done something wrong. Biting his lip, he gave her an apologetic smile as he briefly glanced away. 'I'm sorry I didn't mean -what I mean, it's just I'm still learning, I'm sorry if I hurt you,' he professed sheepishly as he too caught his breath.

It was then Dormé noticed his cheeks were as red as hers felt and wondered if he was feeling the same way. 'I really like kissing you,' she admitted shyly.

His sheepish look softened and he couldn't help but smiling to her shy admittance. 'I really like kissing you too,' Anakin replied as he gingerly touched her rosy freckled cheeks.

'I was thinking about you all day and I—'

Anakin's smile widened as he nodded in agreement recalling even then how hard it was for him to make his escape. She faltered then but Anakin didn't pay it much mind believing she was still nervous, much like himself. 'I thought about you all day too. I tried so hard to get away so I could see you again. But every time I tried to escape, someone caught me,' Anakin admitted in shy tones. 'I couldn't stop thinking about you, and the kiss you gave me—' He blushed an even brighter red than before.

'I'm glad you came. I didn't want to go so long without seeing you even though today felt like an eternity.'

'I kept imagining about this -I mean us kissing again.'

'I imagined it too,' she said softly. 'I thought about us being like in those holofilms...you know, that sort of kissing and stuff...but I'm not—in my imaginings I'm better at this sort of thing...not stumbling all over my words like I am right now.'

'You did too?' he admitted with a sheepish and relieved grin. 'I was imagining that I was going to surprise you, you know sneaking up and giving you a kiss, things like that,' Anakin gave a lopsided grin then.

'Only in my daydreams I wasn't tripping over sheets,' he added as his expression turned shy.

Dormé didn't know that he had tripped over the sheets and giggled at the thought. 'You tripped? Is that how you landed here? Now, that's not fair, I didn't have a chance to see you do that!'

'Well I'm glad you didn't! Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to see how funny you looked when I surprised you!' he teased back with a wink while snickering.

Dormé bit her lip again before she pressed herself forward, urging her spirit to ask, 'Would you laugh if I told you something...something that maybe is just—I don't know...'

'I promise you, Dormé, I won't laugh,' he replied softly as his fingers began to play with her long hair.

As the comfortable, but slightly nervous silence passed, Dormé decided to tell him what she had come to discover today while he was away. At his promise and the feel of his fingers in her hair, she edged closer to him to whisper in his ear, '...I love you.' It was very soft and barely audible, but entirely sincere and from the depths of her heart.

What he heard filled his heart with such joy that he was rendered speechless for a moment. In silence Anakin stared at her, his eyes wide in surprise as a goofy smile crept into his features. Was she kidding? Was this real? Did she mean it? Could he be certain that this was what he felt too?

Dormé pulled back to look in his eyes and gauge his reaction.

It only took a moment for his heart to answer the final question and for Anakin to snap out of his daze. 'You mean it? I mean, no jokes?' he asked softly his expression filled with cautious hope.

Dormé nodded when he asked if she was being truthful, her cheeks alight like supernovas.

'You really love me? Even if I'm not as good a padawan the Obi-Wan would like me to be? Or that I don't really want to be some stupid prophecy?' he whispered in soft tones.

Though Dormé had no idea what he was rambling about, she was soon pulled into a hug, which she giddily retuned. She was too happy that Anakin didn't think she was crazy or laugh at her for what she felt that she didn't think of asking him about what he was rambling about before.

'I love you too, Dormé!' he gushed in joy as he squeezed her tightly not registering that in his joy he had touched her thoughts and was sharing all of his emotions with her. Nor did he fully comprehend that in those moments he was wrapping his Force aura around hers, so as to hold her soul with his own. It was wondrous and it was by far the happiest moment of his life.

It wasn't just what Anakin was saying, but the feelings...feelings she felt that magnified her own. She was feeling what he was feeling and it blew her away. Dormé had no concept of the Force or Jedi and had no idea that he was opening up to her so that she could see and feel things as a person strong in the Force could. Dormé had never felt so loved, needed and desired before. Anakin was the first person to hug her and now at this moment, she was convinced that he was the only one she ever wanted to be with. She didn't ever want to part from him. Even though she was barely fourteen, Dormé believed that she had found the other half of her soul, just as they spoke of in the legends.

Holding her close in his arms Anakin breathed a sigh of contentment feeling so incredibly at peace and complete in ways he couldn't hope to explain. It was as though everything was finally right with the universe and that in Dormé's arms rested the true meaning of Harmony. In his heart, he knew the truth and as he stared into her amber eyes so filled with love and mysteries he was only now beginning to understand. Though he was only older than Dormé by a couple of years, like her, the padawan was certain he had found his soul mate.

It would be only much later that he would realise his slip-up. He had been so careful to ensure his dear friend wouldn't learn the truth about his duties and his supposed destiny. For now, he was just happy to hold her near, to stare into her beautiful amber eyes and return the kisses she so freely gave him. If Anakin had his way he would do this forever and never part from her; but it had been a long day and he was weary. It wasn't long after Dormé drifted off to sleep that he too was snoring softly in her arms, his fingers intertwined in her dark hair and his lips barely touching hers.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of Coruscant, Obi-Wan ceased looking for his Padawan the moment he felt a ripple in the Force. He paused, frozen for a moment in the hallway of the Jedi Temple.

A wave of peace came over him, one so gentle and soothing that it made him sleepy. It was so serene, a feeling reminiscent of the time he spent with Sabé in the palace gardens the night before he had to leave with Anakin for Coruscant all those years ago.

He could almost feel the grass beneath his toes and see her visage before him, smiling as she received his Padawan braid.

* * *

Dormé dreamt that the two of them were on a cliff. The pair were standing together in the rain, the water crashing on the rocks below. They were kissing and holding each other close. She wore a long flowing dress of crimson, her arm adorned with a gold band forged by his own hand.

_'My love,' her voice murmured on the wind._

_'My beloved one,' he replied._

When she awoke earlier than normal, she was pleasantly surprised to find herself in his arms. Everything that they said really happened and this filled her with such happiness. She couldn't resist kissing him even though he was still fast asleep.

Anakin's dreams were filled with images that seemed foreign to him. Dormé was there but she wasn't herself, rather she was but older and yet ageless.

She was holding him, kissing him gently as in his heart he could hear her whispering her love for him. He returned the favour vaguely noticing his fingers gliding over a gold band that rested on her arm. It was so familiar almost as though he had made it, though Anakin knew he was hardly a skilled blacksmith. The sound of crashing waves could be heard, but for the first time in his life, Anakin wasn't afraid, not of the rain that fell all around them, nor the sea far below. He was with her and in that moment that was all that mattered.

Though Dormé awoke, Anakin continued to remain in the realms of dreams snoring softly as a small smile played on his lips. Even in dreams, he was able to respond to Dormé's though they were sloppy and a little slow. But in time, he stirred awake to the warmth and taste of Dormé's lips against his own.

He purred in contentment still believing he was dreaming as he tightened his embrace and eagerly tried to mimic how he had been kissing her in the dreams. However while in dreams his kisses were perfect in real life he was less than skilled and was a bit too forceful as he was still learning.

She opened her eyes when he was too forceful, and pressed a hand on his chest to push him back just slightly. It was then she found he was for sure awake and she smiled at him. 'Good morning,' she said.

'How was your rest?' he asked in shy tones not bothering to admit that his was quite wondrous as he was certain she knew.

Dormé wondered if it would be possible to wake up like this every day. 'I dreamt about you. I don't remember all of it, but it was really nice.'

'I dreamt about you too. I don't know what happened but we were so happy,' he professed sheepishly before adding with another shy smile.

Dormé began to deepen the kiss as she had unconsciously in her dreams. Though she was a little bit familiar with such things, having the chance to do so with her best friend was far different from anything she endured with other people. Now she was able to know what it was really like with two people who loved each other. Young and naive as she was, she wasn't really prepared for everything that it entailed, though her heart had to vehemently disagree with her. Something deep within her soul knew everything about the two of them being together was right.

Despite his lack of experience, Anakin was quick to observe and learn from Dormé's gentle guidance. This was quite an awakening for him and it felt wondrous to be able to express what weighed on his heart in this way. But Anakin's Force sensitivity ensured everything he felt was heightened leaving him eager to pursue the matter further despite his lack of experience.

Though he promised himself that he would take things slowly, the padawan soon found himself unable to resist the urge to explore Dormé's petite form further. Though he didn't try to remove her garbs his hands began to hesitantly roam as though still uncertain where they should go but clearly eager to express his affections in more intimate ways.

Dormé didn't know what to do with her hands, as she hadn't had an opportunity to do so before, nor had she ever wanted to. With Anakin, however, everything was different. Even his attempts to explore her form were not nearly as harsh as what she experienced in the past. But as their kissing grew more passionate, and Dormé had to admit more skilled than before, he was a little too eager and not very careful.

Anakin wasn't brave enough to find his way around her garbs and truthfully wasn't quite ready for it either. He was just thrilled to be able to reveal his feelings for her in this manner at all and was more or less reacting to the rush of emotions felt from both Dormé and himself. But the rush proved to be too much and Anakin in his nativity forgot himself and was soon succumb to his blind desires. Even the sharp push of emotions felt from Dormé wasn't enough and only when she whimpered and pushed his hands away did Anakin surface from his hazy, lust filled thoughts.

It was then that Dormé's thoughts snapped to the past with flashes of experiences that were hardly kind. She whimpered and pushed his hands away. It took her a moment to clear her thoughts as she apologised.

He stared at her in confusion for a moment but soon realised his mistake and turned a bright shade of red as he bowed his head in shame. 'Oh Force I am so sorry,' he whispered recalling a little too late of what she had told him before. 'I didn't mean— I mean I— I wasn't thinking, I just got— I really like kissing you and-' he stopped himself as he bit his lip fearing if he continued he'd only worsen matters.

He shook his head at her apology and blushed further to her admittance. If anyone should be apologizing it was him.

'I'm sorry,' she said. She knew that Anakin loved her so this was completely different. 'I'm not used to it,' she added, thinking that this was the normal way of things.

'There is no need to say sorry, Dormé. I should have been more careful and shouldn't have forgotten myself,' he professed before adding softly. 'I'll be more careful I promise! I won't do anything you don't want me to anymore, just please don't stop talking to me,' Anakin pleaded in desperate tones suddenly fearing he had thrown it all away in a moment of weakness.

Dormé didn't know why Anakin was apologising, for she believed it was supposed to be like this. She wanted to keep being his kissing friend and love, so she thought getting used to such gestures would be a part of it so that she could show him how much she loved him too. Glowing, Dormé replied, 'I don't mind if you want to, but maybe...not so hard? Maybe it would be easier if...' Since she hadn't undressed before falling asleep the night before, she was in trousers and a shirt, which she slipped out of, including undergarments. She didn't mind at the fact she was half undressed because she had done so in his presence before.

He was relieved to know she didn't hate him for his mistakes, or that she compared him to her past experiences. Her reply left him feeling as though his heart was going to burst out of his chest but it was nothing compared to what was to come. In silence he watched as Dormé slipped out of her undergarbs as though it were the most natural thing to do in front of a boy. While the Temple's training halls had unisex showers and freshers, giving Anakin ample opportunity to observe the fairer sex in all of their beauty, it was nothing like this. Anakin never really paid heed to such things as in his mind his eyes were for Padmé only. That was until now. Now he found himself taking in Dormé's beauty with eyes that finally understood what his heart felt and it was all he could do to succumb to his desires once more.

Instead, he too removed all his garbs feeling it was only fair though his cheeks were now a bright shade of red as he couldn't help but stare at Dormé. '...Maybe we should return to the bed,' he murmured while trying not to grin like some ignorant fool. It was a lost cause, the more he took in the freckles that covered her body, her subtle but inviting form and the way she was looking at him the wider his smile became. Here was this beautiful goddess before him and if that wasn't wondrous enough she actually loved him for real! It was almost too good to be true and soon he was pulling her into a tight bear hug.

'I can't believe you're mine! I'm so lucky!' he blurted out in joy.

Though she was unashamed of her own body, she shyly took in his form. Using her eyes didn't seem to be enough and smiling, she nodded to his suggestion. Giddy, she bounced back onto the bed and eagerly returned his hug. 'That means you're mine too,' Dormé said cheerfully.

Something caught her eye and she giggled. 'Guess what?' she said, her fingers slipping to the beauty mark she noticed. 'You have freckles too.' Dormé then set about touching each one that she saw, letting him know where each one was.

'I do?' he asked in hopeful tones before beaming in joy as Dormé proceeded to show him just where each one was. He enjoyed the feel of her fingers against his skin and it wasn't long before he was humming off tune while playing with the long strands of her hair.

After nodding and pointing out the freckles she found, Dormé investigated the rest of his form, taking it all in with silent reverence. Deep in her soul, she recognised this moment, but consciously, Dormé was unaware that they had done this many times before. The young teen didn't really know what she was doing or how it was supposed to go, but was too elated at this opportunity to take heed of her inexperience.

Dormé took her time noting the differences between their bodies, her fingertips feather-light over his skin, trailing from his chest, waist, thigh before asking permission with her eyes to touch other places. She did so carefully before returning her hands to more familiar locations and kissing him again.

Anakin blushed feeling so shy and yet so at peace as Dormé studied him. Her fingers were so gentle, calloused but perfectly soft. How he loved the way she explored his skin making him feeling as though he were so much more than just a clumsy young teenager who only a short time ago discovered that he loved his dearest friend.

His eyes never left her as she explored him and it wasn't long before he found the courage to let his hands wander once more. Like Dormé his touch was light and gentle filled with all the care he held for her. His fingers shook slightly marking his excitement and nerves.

She also allowed Anakin to do very much of the same enjoying the more careful and hesitant touches.

She decided, 'I think we're getting better at this kissing thing,' between kissed. 'But I think I need more practice too...'

He grinned at her admittance that their skills with kissing were improving though when she spoke of improving Anakin shook his head as he gave her a boyish grin. 'No I'm the one who needs practice,' he professed before giving her an impish smile.

'And if I had my way I'd be practising all the time,' he admitted between kisses as his fingers ran through her silky dark hair.

She loved the way he held her and how his fingers felt in her hair. As their kisses grew more passionate, she felt the heat rising between them and her cheeks flushed. This failed to stop her from enjoying the moment as keenly as she possibly could.

'I wish I could kiss you forever,' he admitted in shy tones before pulling her into another kiss. Things began to intensify between them causing Anakin's thoughts to become a whirlwind of emotions and a flood of thoughts. Her emotions mingled with his own adding to his pleasure and the heat of the moment. He tried to make sense of it all but in the end all that mattered was how he felt and how he was making her feel. Before he had a chance to comprehend the need to control himself, Anakin's lost himself to the rush of emotions—both his own and Dormé's.

Just as Anakin began to moan Dormé's name, his body betrayed him and the moment was lost before he even had a chance to fully appreciate it. Only when his thoughts returned to him did Anakin realised much to his horror what had just happened.

Dormé was far too distracted to notice anything had gone wrong until he pulled away. She saw what had happened, but was confused more than anything else. She knew little about the ways of lovers and thought she had done something wrong. 'What happened? Are you OK? I'm sorry—' she said quickly, hoping he wasn't hurt or angry with her.

Anakin stared at her in disbelief at first unsure whether or not to believe Dormés confusion. But it was hard to ignore her emotions even now and Anakin's mortification grew worse for it. 'It's nothing,' he muttered as he sank far beneath the sheets wishing the ground beneath him would open up and swallow him whole.

'Did I do something wrong?'

His entire body was now a bright shade of red that was only matched by his burning cheeks. THe more he tried to make himself small the more concern and confused Dormé seemed to become. 'No, nothing's wrong,' Anakin murmured in shame as he tried to turn away from Dormé as he bit his lip trying to think of an excuse to would explain what happened while maintain a little of his dignity.

'I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?'

'No you didn't hurt me, actually, you kinda did quite the opposite,' he admitted in humiliated tones. 'I got too caught up in— I felt your emotions along with my own when we were kissing and I guess it was too much and I sorta...lost myself,' Anakin confessed in apologetic tones. He braced himself for the laughter and mockery that was certain to come and wished he knew how to use the Force to rewind time or at least make himself invisible.

If it was something that expressed his affections for her, she didn't see why it was such an embarrassing thing, nor did she see why he would be apologising for it. Dormé giggled at the way he was behaving. 'There's nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about, Anakin,' she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.'

'That wasn't supposed to happen. Not yet anyways,' he muttered in explanation. Her reply caused him to give her a quizzical look as if to suggest she was just teasing him.

'I'm just glad that it's a natural thing and that it's because you love me.' She gave him another kiss on the cheek before asking, 'Would you like me to make us something for breakfast?'

Her suggestion of breakfast brought another smile to his features as he nodded eagerly. 'Can I help? I mean after I wash up first,' he added quickly his cheeks burning a new shade of red.

'Sure! I should probably wash up too,' she added before slipping from the bed and dashing off to the fresher.

When she emerged from the showers, Anakin promptly realised it was a good thing he had to wait to use the fresher as it was clear he was in need of a cold shower. Just the sight of her in her robe all open for his wandering eyes to enjoy was almost too much and he was quick to scamper off to the fresher. This was going to be an interesting day to say the least.

Once he had regained some semblance of control and was clean Anakin was joining Dormé in the kitchen. He wondered how he could help but soon found the words weren't coming to him anymore as he found himself staring at her beauty once more. It wasn't long before he was reminded of the events of earlier and with glowing cheeks he shyly approached to do up her robe.

'You'll thank me later when I don't end up using all the water in your fresher for cold showers,' he professed in apologetic tones.

Dormé was beginning to understand more of what he meant as he did up her robe. 'Really? Just seeing me naked?' She wasn't teasing, but merely curious.

'I uh...well you're very beautiful and because I love you I notice it so much more and—' he bit his lip as his smile turned shy.

Upon seeing the look in his eyes, she giggled and threw her arms around him. 'That's so sweet!' It was now that she was wondering how she could show him how much she loved him too. She went back to finish their breakfast and hoping this would be at least one way she could show him. 'Did you find that blue milk I hid for you? I have more now.'

'I drank it on the way here it was so fresh and good!' he admitted in grateful tones. 'I hope you didn't pay too much for it. I know some of those merchants try to overcharge,' Anakin admitted as he went to pour them both a glass of the blue milk.

'I don't know. How much should it be? I only knew of the one vendor that we went to before together, so I just went to that one.'

'Oh good! I know other places sell it but a lot of the time they charge more and what you get isn't even fresh,' he admitted factually.

Anakin enjoyed the breakfast deciding once more that it was by far the best he ever had. Though time wasn't on his side the padawan wanted to make the most of it and was soon helping Dormé clean up. Anything to steal a few more minutes with his beloved.

As the device he created started up the dishes Anakin couldn't resist an impish grin as he scooped up some of the suds in his hands and snuck up on Dormé so as to place a blob of it on her nose.

'Gotcha!' he teased before snickering as he raced out of the kitchen.

'AH!' Dormé squealed when she got soap on her nose. 'I'm going to get you...' she vowed before chasing after him without anything to get him back with.

Anakin burst into laughter as he raced out of the kitchen knowing that Dormé was close on his heels. He tried to get away but not so hard that it wasn't impossible for her to get him.

There was little in the way of space to run around in, but she still had a hard time grabbing him about the waist, as was her intent so she could tickle him. 'Brat!'

Roaring in laughter, he tried to reach for the couch so as to grab a pillow to get her back with. 'No fair! You know how ticklish I am!' he teased between laughter before grabbing a couch pillow and bopping her in the shoulder.

Dormé left off trying to tickle him and tried to wrest the pillow away from Anakin. 'No, how ticklish are you?' she giggled.

Anakin squealed in laughter as she tried to get his pillow from him feeling suddenly ticklish everywhere. 'I'm very ticklish you horrible woman!' he said before roaring in laughter as Dormé found another one of his more ticklish places.

'How can I possibly know, if I don't get to experiment?' she teased, not about to let him get away that easily.

'I'll get you for that!' he teased as he fell backwards landing on his bottom. He laughed as he moved to grab Dormé so as to pull her down only to watch her robe tie to fall loose. She tripped and he moved to help her but the pillow was the true hero of the moment.

And here I thought I was the only one who was clumsy!' he teased in amusement before pretending to be knocked out when the pillow got him in the head.

Scrambling to her feet, she accused Anakin, 'Making me trip all over the place—' She tossed the pillow at his head, laughing.

'I made you trip? I say you deserved it having stolen my pillow and tickled me silly!' he teased before pretending to play dead once more. It was Anakin's hope that his little act would earn him some kisses from the beautiful Dormé.

'You're not a very good actor, you know?' she said, her fingers dangerously close to his sides where she threatened to tickle him again.

'You wouldn't!' he said with an impish grin. 'I'll just have to tickle you back if you try it!' he promised before his comm chimed, causing him to utter a miserable curse. Anakin caught sight of the link and gave Dormé an apologetic look. 'I have to take it,' he admitted before helping Dormé off him so he could answer the call in the next room.

It didn't take him long to discover that he was due back to the temple so as to embark on a rather intense mission to the outer rim. It was with a heavy heart that he returned to where Dormé was.

'I have to go,' he said sadly, motioning to the comm. 'Stupid mission on the Outer Rim,' he admitted softly.

She stood up slowly and heard the awful news. 'So...you're going to be gone again...for a long time?' she asked hesitantly, not wanting to hear that this would be the case.

Anakin gave a weak nod to Dormé's hesitant question wishing there could be some way around this awful turn of events. 'I don't know how long I'll be,' he professed softly knowing that when it came to missions anything was possible.

'Where are you going? Do you know yet? Maybe I could find a way to go there too,' she suggested with shrug. She didn't know what his occupation was, but hoped his business trip would not be too long.

'I don't know if you'd be able to get there. I mean, I don't know how you'd be able to find a way it's in the Outer Rim and its dangerous too,' Anakin admitted. He felt torn between the hope of seeing Dormé again and soon and concern over her safety if she were to find a way to meet him there. There was also the matter of his duties and the fact he had yet to tell her the truth of just what he did for a living.

'I don't mind,' Dormé said, 'even if it's far...' Although she was in fact speaking from her heart and desire to be with him more than the rational side of her which knew that not only was it expensive, but it was also not entirely safe.

'Besides I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss either,' he confessed before offering a small smile.

'I wouldn't get into trouble with my boss because it's just freelancing and I sometimes don't have work for awhile... I mean, it wouldn't be a big deal...'

'I don't know if that's such a good idea, Dormé. it's just where I'm going there is going to be a lot of danger, I'd never forgive myself if anything were to happen to you,' he professed sadly. 'And it's not like I'm not going to ever send you messages either, in fact I'll have to send one every day,' he added in hopeful tones.

Dormé's eyes lit up when he mentioned being in contact with her. 'You mean it? Every day?' she said hopefully. Although it wouldn't be the same, it was much better than not hearing from him or seeing him in months like the last time.

'I'll definitely do my best!' he admitted honestly realizing that he might not be able to reach her every day because of the war and the black outs normally placed on comm. channels.

'And I'll send holo-images too,' he added before growing serious as he pulled her into a tight embrace. Reality was descending on him again and it made his heart heavy knowing that it might be a while before he could see his beloved again. 'Promise you won't forget me,' he whispered in almost desperate tones in her ears. 'I'd be so lost if you did,' he confessed softly.

When he pulled her into his arms, she returned the gesture with equal fervour. Tears came to her eyes at his words. 'I could never forget you, Anakin. I'd be more concerned about you forgetting me,' she admitted softly.

Anakin held on tighter as he kissed her throat. 'I will never forget you, Dormé. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me,' he whispered in sincerity.

* * *

A/N: Coming up, a dangerous trip to Korriban.

_'Ferus would you just shut up and go away before I knock some sense into you?' Anakin growled in agitation._


	5. A Trip to Korriban

Anakin promised Dormé that he would message her as often as he could, but almost as soon as he arrived to the frontlines, all communications were cut out. Frantic, Anakin tried desperately to reach Dormé, but it was short lived. It was only the beginning of the struggles that were to follow.

Though he couldn't reach Dormé, the padawan continued to make notes for his dearest friend and love. He also created doodles and brief holo-vids of himself for her to enjoy. It was the only thing that kept Anakin from losing himself to the frustrations of his mission.

Most of his frustration was due to a fellow padawan who joined him on the mission: Ferus Olin. The two young men hardly got along and the fact they were forced to work together hardly helped matters. Even worse was their location. Korriban held a dark history of its own and it was in this place that Anakin felt an ever growing temptation to succumb to his darker urges.

Nightmares plagued his rest by night while the need to compete with Ferus taunted him throughout the day. There was a darkness in this place he had never known before in his life and despite his master's warnings, Anakin found himself struggling more and more not to taste the heady kiss of the Dark Side.

Only the memory of his beloved waiting for him at home kept Anakin from completely losing himself as she was like a ray of light in both his heart and in his mind. He prayed she was all right and desperately hoped for the day when he could finally leave this awful place and return home to her arms.

* * *

After Anakin departed, Dormé set about doing the latest translation assignment. But the translations didn't come as easily as usual because her thoughts wandered. Dormé hoped that Anakin would be safe, for as he said, it would be a dangerous trip to the Outer Rim planet.

She then panicked, wondering if their comms wouldn't work then, if he was too far away, or what if the delay was so great that they wouldn't be able to talk in real time? Or what if the time difference was so vast that she might end up annoying him by waking him up in the middle of the night...and if from this he might come not to love her anymore...

When it became so outrageous, she shook her head and stood from the desk, knowing this was just silly talk.

And as the days and nights passed, Dormé wondered why she still hadn't heard from him, ending up sending him a long note she had been working on all the while. Her finger hovered over the send button, afraid of sending it and also too concerned not to. Inevitably, she sent it and let out a deep breath she hadn't realised she had been holding in.

Then Dormé began figuring out how many credits it would be to find transport to the Outer Rim and which pilots would be willing to take her there. It had been nearly a week since she last saw Anakin and it was building up to be more than she could take.

Dormé felt like there was something wrong because Anakin promised that he would message her and she still hadn't heard from him. Even though he had said that communication might be difficult since he was in a war zone, Dormé just knew something was wrong. Though she was not a spiritual person, nor in any way sensitive to the Force, Dormé felt the urge to go find Anakin.

She came to find out that no one wanted to go to Korriban.

'I can take you as far as Vjun,' one of the space pirates informed her.

He was a large, burly man with more than one way of payment on his mind, but Dormé was hardly naive and had her sword with her in case she needed to use it. 'Fine,' she agreed.

'Half now,' he said, holding out his hand.

'Here,' Dormé said, handing over the credits. 'I believe it's all the credits you require.'

The pirate was surprised by her honesty, but gruffly nodded and escorted her to his transport. He tried to make conversation with her, wondering why she wanted to go to Korriban, but Dormé's thoughts were elsewhere as she thought of Anakin, hoping that he was all right.

The space pirate didn't end up trying to get anything extra out of the deal because he didn't feel up to it after seeing that she was a sweet girl. 'Be careful,' he said, mentioning a place where she could find reliable transportation to Korriban before saying goodbye to her.

Dormé politely thanked him and found her own way to the shipyard. She was disappointed when she found out that she would have to fly her own ship. 'But I don't know how to—'

'The droid can do it for you, my dear,' the trader said. 'You punch in the coordinates here, set it there, and start up the ship like this...'

All the directions were giving her a headache and she doubted she'd be able to do it, nevermind return the ship in one piece. But it was her desire to see Anakin again that pressed her onward.

'Though I must ask why you wish to go there. It's a dangerous place that is...'

'Thank you,' Dormé said, slipping inside the ship before the trader could ask any further questions. Though she didn't know exactly where on Korriban Anakin was, she had faith that she would eventually find him somehow. She just didn't realise how tough it was going to be, nor how dangerous.

Dormé was completely unaware of the true dangers facing her on Korriban. Not only was she unaware of the nature of the business Anakin was on, but also of what sort of natural predators lurked on the planet's surface.

She didn't know that the senate nearly escaped a poison attack by the Sith Cultist, Granta Omega and the female scientist Jenna Zan Arbor. Nor was she aware that Anakin, as one of the Jedi padawans had been tracking the duo all over the outer rim territories ever since he left Courscant, in an effort to bring down the mysterious and elusive Dark Lord of the Sith.

Dormé also had no idea that when she went to ask for whereabouts of someone of her best friend and beloved's description that she was walking naively into her own grave.

'Ah the Jedi's a friend of yours?' Auben asked, her voice as sweet as possible, though it hardly belied her true intentions.

'Sorry?' Dormé asked, not understanding what the lady meant. 'I'm just looking for him.'

The lady was scanning her Force signature in an effort to find out her true plans.

Dormé clasped her head tightly, for it began to ache fiercely. She backed away, muttering an apology as she stumbled somewhere else. She had quite forgotten where she left her ship, unaware that the older lady had stolen it from her while she stumbled about in confusion.

Finally, she had a seat on a rock, taking out her datapad and trying to find the coordinates of the ship, thinking it might be better if she tried contacting Anakin again and figuring she would have a better chance now since she was here.

She didn't notice the predatory native animals circling closer to her location, their mouths watering for a piece of her flesh.

Dormé tried to type a decent message to Anakin but the damned thing wouldn't send. She tried standing on the rock and waving the datapad around in an attempt to get a good signal. 'Come on...' she groaned, trying to get the thing to send.

* * *

Everything about this place held a darkness Anakin had never known. Though all his life he had been trained to face such things, now that he was here, the padawan swiftly discovered nothing was as easy as he had once believed. In fact, the more he remained here, the worse the struggle became until Anakin found himself contemplating the possibility of trying the Dark Side, if only to know what it was like.

Ferus, on the other hand, seemed to expand his skills as a Jedi and the obvious respect he earned by his master and Anakin's brother served to add to the temptation. Anakin wanted to beat the padawan so badly that it began to consume his thoughts.

Today was a particularly bad day and despite the fact that Anakin promised himself that he would try to understand Ferus, so as to make Dormé proud, the minute he saw the padwan, the two had a bad exchange of words. Though they were faced with a battle so fierce that they had no time for petty bickering, it didn't stop Ferus and Anakin from fighting and when Anakin discovered that Ferus had found one of his drawings of Dormé the two were soon fist fighting.

Anakin reached out to touch the Dark Side and soon his fight with Ferus turned deadly as the wondrous heady rush of the Darkness began to flood his thoughts and influence his movements.

It wasn't long before their enemies were moving in to take full advantage of the moment.

Despite his use of the Dark Side it wasn't long before the two men were being pulled apart by their Masters. Filled with shame over his actions Anakin remained silent and sulky throughout much of the journey afterwards. His master's lack of reprimand did little to help his mood.

Finally, they caught track of the elusive cultists and were well on their way to capture them when Anakin sensed another far more familiar Force signature. At first, he believed that it was just his mind playing tricks on him -for he often fantasized about Dormé making a surprise visit. But then Ferus sensed there was another nearby, an innocent as he called her and Anakin immediately knew that it wasn't just his imagination. He didn't bother waiting for the others to clarify her whereabouts or that there was danger near.

Dormé was here and Anakin had to reach her before the local beasts found her or worse the cultists. Abandoning his group, the padawan raced through the brush feeling his heart racing in fear as he sensed the signatures of approaching poisonous lizards. He didn't bothering wondering why Dormé decided to go against his warnings and meet him as he knew he would have most likely done the same himself. Had he not been so fearful of her safety Anakin might have been thrilled to the prospect of Dormé's arrival but right now, it was her health that mattered most.

As she came into sight, Anakin's eyes widened in horror. She was surrounded by the lizard-like beasts whose poison was known to taint the blood and drive its prey insane with darkness. Immediately, he drew his lightsaber and moved to make his attack. Without thinking his actions through, Anakin touched the Dark Side and was soon consumed once more by its heady rush as he prepared to slaughter the threat posed to Dormé.

'Dormé! Watch out!' Anakin cried out before leaping into the air and driving his lightsaber into the first beasts throat. Though he was severely outnumbered, Anakin's use of the Darkness made him cocky and overly confident.

Just when she thought she might have gotten a signal, something came flying through the air in her direction. Caught off guard and hearing her name, Dormé slipped and fell off the rock, into the claws of the beasts. She screamed, trying to fight off the large creatures and their dangerous claws.

Anakin caught sight of Dormé falling into the beasts sights and immediately moved to tend to the creatures nearest to her. In his bloodlust, Anakin grew sloppy and though he was able to slaughter the beasts with unnatural ease it wasn't before one of them was able to make an attack on his dear after the creatures were all dead did Anakin's thoughts returned to himself. Coming down from the Dark Side's powerful and potent kiss Anakin felt anything but heroic. His head throbbed and his stomach turned causing him to stumble off to nearby bushes where he was violently ill.

Ferus by then had joined them and was witness to the attack made on Dormé. His eyes widened in horror and immediately he was by her side struggling to help her up and look over her wounds. 'Milady, my master will be here shortly. She will be able to tend to this,' he promised as he tried to get her to a nearby rock that was away from the carnage. It was hard not to notice her beauty and though Ferus wouldn't openly admit it his heart raced faster the more he remained in Dormé's presence.

Dormé saw the unfamiliar boy, who seemed to be about Anakin's age. She tried to explain, 'I was trying to send a message to my friend, Anakin, and I don't know where he is, but I dropped my datapad—' She let the young man who seemed very polite take her away from the mess.

Ferus raised a brow, quite shocked by the young lady's words. Surely she hadn't come all this way and placed herself in such danger because she needed to see Skywalker? _What was she thinking?_

'Wait—Is that—Anakin?' she asked, spotting the back of his head as he was sick.

At her words Ferus nodded, promising that he would collect it once he was certain she was alright. 'Milady you're hurt at least—' he faltered as Dormé turned her attentions to where Anakin was currently being ill. Ferus sighed deeply about to try and dissuade her from moving, but Dormé was far more swift and despite her wounds she easily evaded Ferus who was already distracted

'Milady what are you doing?' he called out in concern but it was too late Anakin was already finished and in a state of embarrassment he turned to glance back at Dormé with cheeks brighter than the blood of her wound.

'Anakin?' she asked as she began to stumble in his direction. 'Anakin are you all right? I was looking all over for you—I'm sorry my surprise didn't turn out exactly as planned...' She reached him and began rubbing his back.

'I'm fine,' he muttered before giving her a quizzical look. 'Dormé?'

'Are you sure?' she asked.

'What are you—? I mean, are you OK?' he stammered more concerned now at her wounds than his own pounding head and queasy stomach.

'Yeah, I'm fine. My leg's hurt, but I'm all right,' she replied. Dormé saw that he looked as though he were going to be ill again, but hugged him.

Anakin furrowed his brow in concern as she spoke of her wounds. His head pounded and throbbed making it hard for him to focus on anything at all. His stormy stomach was hardly any better but he managed to pull himself together if only because Dormé's embrace and calming presence. The feeling was short lived however as her words finally settled into his clouded thoughts. 'You got hurt,' he murmured.

'I had to come and see you. I was worried. I didn't hear from you at all...and I tried sending you messages, but...Anyway, I'm glad you're all right.'

Ferus wondered what she could have possibly find interesting about Skywalker. Even at the best of times, he was nothing more than a whiny, spoiled brat. _Just what does he have that I don't?_ he wondered before chastising himself for having such thoughts in the first place.

'They cut off our communication systems. But I still wrote to you every day and made messages, drawings too,' he admitted in sheepish tones as his sad smile turned shy.

'You did?' she exclaimed happily, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 'You have to see mine too!'

'I'll show them to you later, but right now we should look at your wounds,' he suggested feeling bad for having not intervened and saved her sooner.

'All right. You want me to sit down here? I mean, it's on my leg here—' She lifted up her gown to her waist. Scratch marks and blood disguised the bite in which venom now spread slowly into her veins. 'It kind of stings,' Dormé admitted.

'We'll need to get that cleaned,' Anakin said before looking up to find Ferus had already thought ahead and was now pulling out supplies from his utility belt that would help with her wound. Anakin tried not to scowl as he felt a rush of jealousy to the boy's quick thinking.

'I have some bandages and ointment too,' Anakin cut in before Ferus had a chance to even offer to look at Dormé's wounds.

Unaware of the rivalry between the two young men, Dormé knew Anakin better and believed him over the other man. She figured they worked together, for they wore the same uniform, but this boy didn't have a braid like Anakin did.

Anakin was unaware away that Dormé had been poisoned as the claw marks initially appeared to him as gouges which he believed were from her fall.

Ferus, on the other hand, knew better and tried to warn them, but Anakin would have none of it.

'I know what I'm doing, Ferus! For _iquicha_ sake! Would you just let me take care of it?' he snapped, still feeling the side effects of his Dark Side usage.

Ferus frowned as he glared to Anakin before giving Dormé an apologetic look. 'I'm sorry, milady, but you will need more than just ointments to tend to your wound. My master is on her way even as we speak and she will be able to heal—'

'Ferus, would you just shut up and go away before I knock some sense into you?' Anakin growled in agitation.

Dormé shot the other boy a look as he spoke. Since Anakin didn't seem to like him, she wasn't sure about him. 'I think I should just go with Anakin,' she said, not so sure about the idea of letting Ferus's master look at her either.

'But you've been poisoned milady,' Ferus argued in obvious concern as he tried to step in to help clean her wounds. Anakin swatted his hand away and glared at him in agitation.

'Poisoned?' she gasped, trying to look at her wound but having little luck since there was too much mud and blood on her to see anything.

'Ferus why don't you find your master seeing as you are so keen on having her heal Dormé,' Anakin retorted wanting the boy just to leave them alone.

'And she's not poisoned if she was wouldn't we see the effects by now? Look, can't you see? She obviously got the cuts from when she fell down! Besides, I killed those creatures before they even had a chance to get near her,' Anakin continued as he rolled his eyes.

Anakin tried to clean the wound with that he had in his utility belt. But Dormé was far too dirty from her fall and despite his wish to help, it was clear even to him that she would need more than just some swabs and a few alcohol naps to tend to the gouges.

'She's going to need medical help soon, Anakin,' Ferus tried again in frustration He shook his head before giving Dormé another concerned look. 'Milady, at least let my master examine you just to make sure,' he tried again feeling his worry for her growing. As if she would believe Skywalker and his idiocy over him!

Dormé looked between the two of them, not knowing for sure what was going on. 'Where are you staying? Maybe we should get out of here first, you know, out of the way in case more of those nasty creatures show up,' she suggested, figuring it would be the wisest course of action.

'I say we should listen to Lady Dormé,' the Jedi suggested quickly as he moved to help Dormé up. Anakin didn't like this one but and scowled as he too moved to help Dormé to her feet.

'Of course we should listen to her you fool! The smell of blood is sure to draw more attention,' Anakin snapped as Ferus rolled his eyes clearly not amused by his attempt to take charge.

'And who do we have to thank for that?' Ferus muttered.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Anakin challenged in agitation.

'If you two are done now, a little help would be nice,' Dormé interrupted as she tried walking again with a little more effort than usual. 'How far is it and in what direction?' She figured if they wanted to continue arguing, they could do so in a place that was a little safer.

Ferus was the first to snap out of his agitation and soon was at Dormé's side helping her while apologizing profusely for his poor behaviour. Anakin on the other hand knew just what the young Jedi Knight was up to and curled his lip.

'Oh right, Ferus. You keep that up and I'll really pound you once we get back to camp!' Anakin snarled as he tried to slip an arm around Dormé to help her walk as well.

Ferus glared at Anakin and responded to Dormé's question instead. 'We're a bit of a ways but not too far, we should be back within half a standard hour if we keep going at this pace,' he explained. His thoughts moved forward then and he gave Dormé a quizzical look. 'If you don't mind my asking—'

'I mind you asking! Why can't you shut up already!' Anakin cut in finding the Jedi's presence adding to his throbbing headache.

'It's not my fault, Skywalker, that you were too weak to use the Light Side. Your headache is well deserved!' Ferus retorted already knowing why Anakin was in such a sour mood.

'For the love of Nisaba, you're both giving me a headache!' Dormé grumbled.

'Forgive him, milady. He has a tendency to run at the mouth as Master Windu would say,' Ferus continued causing Anakin to clench his jaw so hard that he was almost grinding his teeth.

'As I was going to ask before, is your ship nearby? Perhaps it has some of the supplies we need. It might be swifter if we go there instead.' Ferus was certain that at this rate he would win Dormé over as it was clear that between the two of them he was the better and more mature knight.

Turning to Ferus, to whom she was not yet properly introduced, she said, 'My ship—actually, I tried find it, but I got a little bit turned around... I'm not sure...Did you grab my datapad?'

Ferus furrowed his brow before remembering the datapad he had picked up shortly after Anakin tried tending to Dormé's wounds. 'My apologies milady here it is,' he said kindly as he offered it to her.

She groaned as she leant a little more heavily on Anakin. 'I'm sorry. I'm feeling a little dizzy,' she said. Her breathing quickened as she felt like she couldn't get enough oxygen in her lungs.

'Dormé? Dormé!'

* * *

A/N: Coming up -

_What are you suggesting?' Anakin snapped. _

_Ferus shrugged. 'I'm not saying anything at all. But for a supposed prophecy, you sure are a disappointment.'_


	6. A Poisonous Whisper

Ferus already knew what was happening and tried once more to reach his master for help. He didn't have much luck and was unaware that they were encountering troubles of their own. 'She's poisoned, Anakin. We need to find a way to detox her before it truly takes effect!' Ferus said in concern as he removed his cloak with the intent of having Dormé rest on it so he could attempt to use the Force to remove the poison.

Anakin was equally concerned, but was still of the belief that she hadn't been poisoned that her dizziness was brought on by blood loss.'Ferus, you fool, she's not poisoned! She's wounded! Now use your healing powers to patch her up!' Anakin growled as he tried to remove his cloak to act as a pillow for Dormé. 'It's going to be okay Dormé, Ferus might be a fool, but he has trained with the finest healers of the Order,' he said softly as he helped her onto Ferus's cloak.

'Maybe you should be elsewhere, Skywalker. The Dark Side is lingering about you like a foul stench. If I'm going to heal her of the poison—'

'Foul stench! What the _iquicha_ is that supposed to mean? I'm not going anywhere, Ferus, until I know Dormé is safe!' Anakin argued.

Ferus ignored him now as he shyly moved to lift up Dormé's skirts.

The dizziness abated once she was lying down, but their words served to confuse her even more. They spoke of an Order and dark sides, which made no sense to her, but then the boy she didn't know was trying to lift up her gown. She tried to stop him, but it was of little use.

'My apologies milady but I need to see the wound so I can absorb the poison,' he explained. This wasn't something he had ever done before and he could only pray that his long hours of healing studies would pay off.

Her arm felt like it was made of lead. 'Anakin—' she said, struggling to protest Ferus's movements. She didn't trust anyone else and the fact the other boy wanted Anakin to go away while his hands were in places no one aside from Anakin and she had touched made her very uncomfortable indeed.

Ferus was trying to be as careful as he could though his cheeks burned a bright red as like Anakin he had little experience with women. He tried to explain he had no intention of doing anything inappropriate but he needed to see the wound.

Anakin on the other hand felt other wise and soon swatted Ferus's hands away as he growled. 'Can't you see she doesn't want you touching her? You're a healer. I'm sure you don't need to be pawing at her body to tend to her wounds! I know Master Arxia doesn't!' Anakin snapped clearly protective of Dormé. The memory of her explanation of her past did little to discourage his overly protective nature.

'Anakin I need to see the wound I have to touch it in order to absorb the poison! I'm not trying to be fresh!'

'Find another way!' Anakin snapped before turning his attentions back to Dormé. 'I'm sorry for this, Dormé. I promise you that he won't do anything you don't want him to. He's going to heal you nothing more I swear it!' he said in far more fierce tones than he would have liked as he glared back to Ferus. The Jedi however ignored him as he tried to meditate so as to heal Dormé's wounds. This was going to be a lot trickier than he once believed.

Dormé's eyes rolled back in her head as the poison seeped into her veins and entered her bloodstream. She didn't hear the rest of their conversation or rather their argument or what came of it.

However, upon feeling a hand on her thigh again, Dormé's subconscious, which was affected by the poison began to register connotations that did not exist. Opening her eyes, which now had a tinge of the dark side colouring them, she grabbed onto the hand attempting to heal her and tossed it away, her eyes focusing on Anakin, whom she drew in for a passionate kiss. Dormé was then suddenly taking Anakin's hand and placing it in a less-than-appropriate location, hardly caring that anyone else had the opportunity to watch.

So attractive was this darkness, so in need of something to consume, and inevitably to love, Dormé couldn't resist giving her all to the devouring darkness. It needed her and who was she to deny it?

Anakin didn't register that Dormé's actions was an amplification of her affections brought on by the deadly poison. Had he been more experienced, Anakin wouldn't have thought twice of her actions, allowing himself to be consumed by her passionate hunger for his flesh. But Anakin was still learning the arts of passion play and was startled by her rough but silent demands.

Dormé murmured between heated kisses in a language both ancient and familiar. She called Anakin by a name she wouldn't consciously recognise, wanting to be completed by him. And just when she was about to have what she desired, he was ripped away from him.

Anakin didn't understand what she was saying and yet a part of him felt almost as though he should. It was as though her words and their meaning was just out of reach, just out of his grasp. Only when she spoke his name did Anakin snap out of his confusion and readily returned her kisses and touch.

Ferus was even more so and swiftly fell upon his training as a Jedi. No sooner had Anakin found his hands being forced up Dormé's skirts while his lips were being parted open with her tongue when he found himself being tossed back by an unseeing Force. Slamming hard against the ground, Anakin uttered a shocked curse as his frantic thoughts tried to make sense of what just happened.

'Dormé? What the _frak_?' he sputtered.

Ferus immediately stood between them and drew upon the Light Side of the Force as he focussed his attentions entirely on Dormé. 'Milady, forgive me, but I must do this,' he said softly before drawing upon the Force this time to locate and pinpoint the poisons that flowed through her body.

Anakin on the other hand was finally registering that Dormé's passionate attack wasn't really a bad thing at all and was scrambling to his feet. 'Ferus you idiot what did you do that for? She was going to make love to me you stupid _ch'utu_!' Anakin screamed in agitation.

Ferus frowned hardly finding Anakin's interruption amusing. But when the padawan moved forward to be reunited with his dearest love Ferus once more used the Force to pull Anakin back so as to keep them from each other.

'Skywalker, she's been poisoned that's why she's acting this way! Can't you see her aura? It's poisoned! You sleep with her now and you will have done nothing less than take advantage of her!'

Anakin didn't believe a word Ferus said and tried to fight back but as much as he wanted to use the Dark Side Ferus's use of the Light Side on him made it impossible. Just as Anakin was about to physically attack the Jedi, his eyes finally settled upon Dormé and through the Force, he could see what Ferus had spoken of.

His heart fell as the truth finally sunk in. This wasn't his Dormé, or rather it was but her behaviour was encouraged by the poison in her veins. To act upon his desires when she was unwell would be more than just disrespectful of her, it would make him no different than the man she once spoke of in the early days of their friendship. But Anakin knew nothing of healing and didn't know even where to begin or how he could possibly help. Even worse was the struggle to ignore the memory of their past experience together and Dormé's obvious desire to continue where they last left off.

While he couldn't remember what he was going to say Anakin did remember the strange name he almost called her and couldn't help but wonder just how he came up with the name Asherah. It was a fleeting thought as soon Dormé was calling to him once more now cursing and shouting at Ferus who dared to keep them apart. Anakin's own thoughts flooded with the memories of their brief moment together and he tried to be reunited with his beloved.

Hissing and cursing at the one responsible, she yelled for Anakin to help her. It felt like her heart was being torn from her chest the further away Anakin became. With all of her strength, she tried to fight off the other boy. If the poison and the blood loss from vicious attack hadn't affected her so much, she would have been on her feet and slaughtering Ferus for getting in the way of her beloved.

'What should I do? What can I do?' he stammered wanting to save his dearest friend and love. Ferus glanced back and gave orders for Anakin to help him through the Force. Anakin was hardly trained in such things and after using the Dark Side as he had it was more difficult than usual to touch the Light Side. But with Dormé's life at stake, Anakin knew he had no choice and with a struggle he cleared his murky thoughts and did as he was instructed. Almost immediately, Dormés eyes met his own. Her voice so soft and pleading broke his heart and blinking back unshed tears of his own he continued to channel his energies to Ferus who tried to heal her.

'Anakin—'

'It's going to be okay Dormé, it's going to be alright,' he whispered watching with a heavy heart as she lost consciousness. Immediately, Anakin was rushing to her side and lifting her into his arms. Uncertain how to further help her Anakin recalled how his Ama used to sing to him whenever he was ill. Though he was tone-deaf Anakin did his best hoping that in some small way it helped.

Ultimately, it only served to distract Ferus who frowned as he struggled not to lose his patience with the frantic Anakin. 'Skywalker, while I'm sure she appreciates your singing right now, I think she needs you to help me heal her a little more,' Ferus snapped.

Anakin scowled before uttering a soft curse and trying once more to clear his thoughts so as to assist Ferus in removing the poisons from Dormé.

Anakin ignored Ferus's words and continued to sing albeit softly though he managed to clear his thoughts and aid the Jedi in his task. Only when he felt Dormé's Force signature responding to the healing did Anakin draw the lullaby to an end. Still uncertain of her condition he continued to help Ferus fearful that without his help she might take another turn for the worse.

She spoke his name, so softly that Anakin would have missed it if he hadn't been so desperately looking for a sign that she was waking up. His heart swelled in joy and relief leaving Anakin helpless to do anything save pull her into a tight embrace.

'Oh thank the Force you're all right!' he breathed in joy as he held her tightly kissing her brow swiftly before registering his actions and blushing a deep crimson.

Ferus tried to ignore the growing jealousy and swiftly glanced away wishing suddenly that their masters were here. Anything to act as distraction.

'How are you feeling milady?' Ferus then asked his voice far more shy than he would have liked. He tried his best to hide his own exhaustion, as he too wanted to make a good impression on the young beauty.

Dormé sat up slowly touching her brow as she felt a little dizzy before her head cleared. 'I feel strange, but...my leg's better—you healed it? How did you—that's amazing!' Dormé said in awe as she tried moving it and found it no longer pained her. After getting to her feet, she thanked Ferus for his help, her cheeks blushing all the while.

Anakin and Ferus both watched Dormé intently as she sat up. The young padawan was quick to slip an arm around her as support as he could sense her dizziness. Soon Anakin was helping her to her feet as he remained close to her.

Dormé's awe made Ferus blush a bright red as he grew sheepish as he shrugged. 'I'm glad I was able to help,' he professed in shy tones as Dormé thanked him.

Anakin on the other hand was less than pleased and scowled inwardly fearing that his dearest love was about to run off with Ferus of all people. 'He had help,' Anakin grumbled under his breath. Dormé's arms around him eased a little of his fears and doubts. Holding her near Anakin buried his face in her dark hair, never in his life had he felt so scared for anyone as he had during those fateful moments.

Dormé then threw her arms around Anakin, closing her eyes and feeling she was only then able to breathe. She didn't recall her poisoned attempt to make love to him, only that she believed she had almost died and they had saved her. Dormé didn't say anything to Anakin, but held him close, relaxing in his arms.

'Oh Dormé, I'm so glad you're OK!' he whispered softly as he gave her a squeeze.

Ferus furrowed his brow as he watched them in concern and more than a little envy. Returning his attention back to their surroundings, he took notice of the dead beasts and knew it was time to leave. 'We better get moving before the scent of blood attracts more wild animals,' he suggested in stern tones.

Both Jedi listened intently as Dormé spoke of her adventures here. Anakin was livid that no one dared to help her make the final journey, while Ferus was thoroughly relieved that she hadn't been hurt. Both were however in awe of her bravery and it showed.

'No one wanted to take me here so I had to have someone programme a droid to get me here,' she admitted. 'And you know it was my first time flying alone. I think that was scarier than those creatures.'

'You did a great job though I mean most people would have been too scared to even bother taking the chance,' Anakin confessed with a smile.

'He's right milady.'

'Please, just call me Dormé,' Dormé insisted.

'Dormé,' Ferus added as his cheeks warmed. He loved the sound of Dormé's voice and was soon asking her all sorts of questions if only to hear her gentle accent.

Anakin slipped an arm around Dormé while giving Ferus a warning glare as they made their journey back. 'I'm surprise we haven't seen our masters,' Anakin professed after some time.

Ferus too thought it was strange but trusted that if they were in need of their help they would call upon them.

'Maybe you should scout ahead and see if they are near,' Anakin suggested wanting some quiet time alone with Dormé so they could perhaps practice kissing some more. Even though Dormé's display of passion earlier was a side effect of the poison, Anakin couldn't ignore her lips against his own made him long to be in her arms again.

Ferus didn't fall for it at all and frowned as he gave Anakin a sharp look. 'Why don't you reach out with the Force, Anakin, or has your use of the Dark Side rendered incapable of touching the Light Side anymore?' he remarked in dry tones.

'What the _iquicha_ is that supposed to mean? What are you suggesting?' Anakin snapped.

Ferus shrugged. 'I'm not saying anything at all. But for a supposed prophecy, you sure are a disappointment.'

Anakin frowned wanting to beat Ferus for speaking of his horrid titles. 'Would you just shut up already Ferus? No one wants to know your pathetic opinion,' he hissed.

Dormé was defensive of her dearest friend, but had no idea how to defend him against things she was unfamiliar with. 'Prophecies? Force? Dark Side?' she repeated in confusion.

Anakin's heart sank; certain she was going to want nothing to do with him now that she knew what he really was. 'It's nothing, Dormé. Just some stupid nickname that's all,' he answered a little too quickly to be believable.

Ferus didn't see what the big deal was and rolled his eyes at Anakin. 'Fancy that, Skywalker! You're only too happy to harp on about it whenever you think it's going to let you get away with something!' he challenged in frustration.

Anakin growled and moved to punch him.

'I'm exhausted,' Dormé sighed.

Both Jedi immediately were turning their attention to Dormé in concern. 'Let me find you a place to rest,' Anakin began as he put his arm back around her once more. 'Ferus, you find our masters and I'll keep watch over Dormé,' Anakin ordered.

Ferus frowned not liking this idea one bit. 'We are still in a dangerous region. There's a shallow cave nearby that we can use for a short time if necessary,' he suggested wanting to help and yet remain near to Dormé as well.

'Well if it's too dangerous, then perhaps we should just continue on,' Dormé said, taking Ferus's concerns seriously.

Anakin nodded before giving Dormé an impish grin as he moved to lift her into his arms.

This time, Ferus did roll his eyes as he shook his head. 'Great Force, you try too hard,' he muttered under his breath.

Anakin pretended not to hear Ferus and instead gave Dormé a quick kiss. 'And off we go to our fortress, my lady,' he said with a grin and a wink.

As Ferus predicted, there was a small cave nearby and one that had a small twist to it that provided Anakin and Dormé with a little privacy. Taking full advantage of the moment, Anakin explained he wanted to examine her wounds to make sure that it was still clean.

Ferus snorted in reply, but didn't push the issue further. Never in his life had he felt so disillusioned with the Jedi's prophecies as he did now. He prayed to the Force that a mistake was made and Anakin really wasn't the mighty Chosen One.

'Oh it's not necessary. I mean, you don't have to—' Dormé said at first, thinking her wound was fine.

Anakin offered a hint of an impish smile, trying not to grin.

Once she cottoned on to his idea, she agreed.

Ferus bit his tongue and tried to pretend as though he didn't know what was going on. He couldn't help but feel a little envious of Skywalker for having someone so beautiful and kind fancy him as Dormé did. Ferus also couldn't deny that he was envious over the fact he knew the Chosen One was most likely to get away with this questionable behaviour because of his titles.

'Here!' Dormé said, handing her datapad over to Anakin. 'This is most of the things I did while you've been gone...I'm glad your co-worker was able to get it back for me. You don't have to read all of the notes...They might be a little boring...'

Anakin was quick to snuggle up to Dormé and soon was wrapping an arm around her as she began to show him the notes and letters made. He didn't know how to tell her that his reading skills were very lacking and was determined to read them all. It wasn't long before he was offering his own datapad to her from his utility belt.

'I'm not the best writer or artist but I hope you like them,' he admitted shyly before eagerly turning his attention to the datapad she had given him. Soon he activated it and was all smiles as he struggled to read the notes. This was by far the greatest gift anyone had ever given him.

'You have it with you!' she said, practically ripping it out of his hand so she could read and view them all.

'Oh Anakin!' she gasped, reading some of his thoughts while they were apart, feeling bad that she had thought he might have lost interest in her or that he had been too busy to think about her.

Anakin blushed as he nodded feeling overjoyed by her eagerness to read his notes and little drawings. For a moment, he feared she wouldn't be able to understand his writing as his skills were limited at best. But she eagerly read them and soon Anakin was watching her in peaceful contentment feeling so grateful to be able to share this moment with her.

Some of the holos were really funny and she laughed aloud, thinking she was so blessed to have a friend and love like Anakin. Other clips were so sad and she couldn't help shedding a few tears as she paused to kiss him and hold him close. 'I wish I could have been there,' she murmured. She was glad to know she wasn't the only one who had suffered during his absence.

'You being here has to be greatest surprise of all,' he said happily as he held her near. 'I used to dream of you showing up and surprising me,' he professed with a shy smile.

'Well in your dreams, I probably didn't have any ugly gashes,' she remarked, feeling a little shy about the wound that everyone saw earlier. It was a little embarrassing that she had to expose her thigh to the other boy and let him touch her there, even if it was for healing purposes.

'I'm sorry for what happened earlier. I shouldn't have let him try to heal you in that way. I should have known better I swear I won't let it happen again,' he said in sincere tones.

It took her less time to read the notes, so she was soon playing with his braid and watching his reaction to her holos and notes, enjoying this as much as she had enjoyed reading and viewing his notes for her.

As he played the data pad Anakin it over slowly taking it all in as she played with his braid. Like her Anakin too laughed as the funny parts of her notes and grew solemn as she spoke of her longing to be near him.

Dormé loved the sound of his laughter and how the vibrations felt against her as she held him close, looking over his shoulder. She especially loved how much he responded to her with as much yearning as she felt for him.

He kissed her when he read the parts remarking about missing his kisses and gave her many hugs along the way. Never in his life did he imagine he would know such joy and knew he would cherish this for always.

Every kiss was better than the last and she couldn't help remarking that, 'A hundred years from now, our kisses will be even more amazing than they are now...no one will ever be able to compare—it's an entirely different league...' Dormé didn't even care if she was making sense or not because she knew Anakin understood her or at least understood the emotions behind it.

'It's like—our souls speak to each other...in our kisses, so even when we die we'll still be like this,' he murmured in reply knowing exactly what she was referring to but unable to explain if one were to ask.

Her kisses were bittersweet like the tang of apsinthos, a liquor that Anakin had only recently acquired a taste for, but so much better. The more he tasted her lips, the more he desired to kiss them. His fingers were hardly practised, but were gentle and loving nonetheless and were soon exploring her body as he encouraged her to do the same.

* * *

Obi-Wan spent the last few hours trying to meet with a contact who never ended up coming and when the beasts attacked, he sensed something was wrong. Though he knew Anakin could hold his own, there was something off about the situation which caused him to head in his Padawan's direction.

Though in the back of his mind, he could sense Obi-Wan's presence, Anakin didn't comprehend it in the haze of his passionate thoughts. All he wanted was to express his love to Dormé to feel her soul touching his own and know that their hearts were one.

Obi-Wan was surprised to come upon Ferus alone and inquired about the situation before peering into the cave. He found his Padawan learner with his lips pressed against a girl. 'Anakin...' he began warningly.

Even when his master spoke his name, the padawan didn't respond as the words were entirely missed. In his mind, there was only one person in his universe and that was the beauty in his arms.

'It won't work,' Ferus said as he came up behind Master Kenobi. 'She was poisoned—I had to do this earlier,' he explained as he used the Force to separate the pair.

Obi-Wan was about to caution against it, for he felt something strange shifting between Anakin and the unknown girl.

Dormé cried out in pain when Anakin was ripped away from her by the Force.

Anakin's eyes snapped open as suddenly he found himself being pushed away from Dormé. Cursing loudly, he grabbed his lightsaber, thinking they were under attack a second time. It didn't take him long to pick up on Obi-Wan's Force aura and the sound of his voice.

'Oh _echuta_!' he blurted out in shock as he gaped to his master in disbelief. Dormé was soon back in his arms and Anakin promptly held her near as his shocked turned to annoyance.

'Anakin,' Obi-Wan began again. 'Would you be so kind as to explain to me what in the blazes is going on?'

'Good question what the _iquichan_ did you do that for?' Anakin snapped, not caring that his actions clearly went against the Jedi codes. 'I should think it was obvious what was going on,' he continued in agitation.

'Not about this—' Obi-Wan began. 'I wanted to know what happened here with the hssiss and what became of your contact, but I am also intrigued to learn of your...acquaintance.'

Anakin's eyes widened upon remembering the contact. 'Oh no the contact!' Anakin blurted out before turning a bright red as he looked frantically to Ferus for help on that one.

'They attacked me, those beasts,' Dormé explained, unaware that this was not what the man really wanted to know about because Ferus had already told him most of it already. 'Anakin and Ferus rescued me...I'm Dormé by the way,' she said quickly.

'I'm glad that you're safe, milady, but in order to maintain your safety, Ferus why don't you take her to where she is going, Anakin, we have to leave—'

'Dormé was coming here to see me!' he argued, 'and I'm not going anywhere without her!'

When Ferus approached to help Dormé up, Anakin moved swiftly and proceeded to punch the man square in the jaw. 'That's for ruining my time with Dormé!' Anakin said before cursing at him.

Dormé was shocked when Anakin jumped forward to defend her from those who she thought only wished to help. Since she didn't know them and completely trusted in Anakin, she merely watched on in awe and did not intervene.

'Anakin!' Obi-Wan shouted. There was little option left and through the Force, he sensed a darkness within his Padawan that he compartmentalised and subconsciously ignored.

'And that's for trying to keep her away from me!' Anakin shouted as he moved to attack the Jedi once more.

Obi-Wan pulled Anakin away with his hand and the Force to keep him from attacking Ferus again. 'Calm yourself!'

'He had no right to interfere!' Anakin shouted between curses.

'Is this any way to behave in front of a lady?' Obi-Wan asked. Whether or not the girl had come all this way to see Anakin or not, whatever their relationship was, Anakin needed to let her go.

Anakin struggled, glaring at his brother until his words sunk in. This was something Anakin couldn't ignore. He had tried so hard to make a good impression on Dormé, to show her that he wasn't like the other boys and now— 'I'm sorry, Master,' he muttered feeling his cheeks burn a bright red as he forced himself to calm. He glanced back to Dormé and bit his lip feeling incredibly foolish for his outburst.

'I'm sorry,' Dormé spoke up. 'I shouldn't have come.'

'No, don't say that Dormé! It means so much to me that you're here,' he confessed as he moved to slip his arms around her.

Obi-Wan was more concerned with their mission and how Anakin was behaving was hardly helping. But the darkness he sensed the most was not near to them in these caves, but close. 'Milady, we need to get you to safety—this is a dangerous planet and our mission here is already compromised.'

Master Arxia was soon making her way towards the group with Darra and Tru. 'I will take her to our lodgings. I will continue to heal her wounds and keep watch over her until you return.'

As much as he wanted to remain, Anakin knew it wasn't possible and was relieved that at least Dormé would be in good hands. He gave her a gentle but passionate kiss before preparing to depart with his Master and Ferus. 'Take good care of her,' he said in all sincerity to Master Arxia.

Obi-Wan felt uneasy enough as it was without his padawan kissing a girl in front of him. He didn't chide him for it, but once this mission was over, he would be having a nice long discussion with him. 'We must move quickly,' he agreed, leading the way.

* * *

Commerce Guild droids began shooting at them and Darra and Tru raced through the Sith Monastery leading to the hangar. Obi-Wan went along the other side with Ferus and Anakin, sensing the dark power belonging to a Sith within the hangar.

Once inside, all four Jedi were attacked by numerous battle droids, but Obi-Wan and the young Jedi had little difficulty removing the droids.

'Look!' one of the shouted, pointing to a shadowy figure retreating in the distance.

'I sense it too,' Obi-Wan said. 'Now comes the hard part.'

As they reached the exit, a powerful surge of Dark Force lightning was sent directly at Anakin. Now in large valley, they were once more confronted with the beasts Anakin's friend, Dormé had been injured by.

Racing towards the exit, Anakin found his thoughts struggling against the poisoned whispers of the darkness. He tried to clear his thoughts to focus on the task at hand. His distraction almost cost Anakin his life as Force lightning descended upon him. He was barely able to block the attack, but managed though at a price.

It was too much to resist and soon Anakin too was lost to the darkness. Just the sight of the mighty beasts filled him with blind rage as it reminded him of his failure to protect Dormé from their claws. He rushed forward and soon began to viciously attack the creatures, despite the fact his attentions should have been focused on the Sith Lord who was using the beasts as distraction.

One by one, the monsters fell to his lightsaber as he proceeded to remove some of their limbs, while others were beheaded or gutted.

The animals proved to be a much more difficult force to reckon with and Tru's lightsaber, which she had asked Ferus to fix for her, which Anakin had secretly tampered with, now failed her.

Tru was shot and killed as the rest of her comrades fended off the rest of the savage beasts.

Tru's death was missed on Anakin though he felt her life essence returning to the Force. Even after all the creatures had been fended off or destroyed Anakin was eager to continue the battle and too lost to the poison that coursed through his veins the padawan threatened to turn on his own.

When the threat abated, Obi-Wan surveyed the damage and saw that Tru was dead. But the Sith Lord remained in the distance and they had to go after him. 'We must go. She is dead, but we will come back for her. For now, we must not grieve, but go after the Sith Lord to prevent further deaths.'

A Commerce Guild ship hummed as it drew nearer.

Obi-Wan didn't have time to tell the padawans about his plan, for as soon as the ship was near enough, he took out the line from his utility belt and hooked it on the back of the ship. The cloudiness of his padawan's thoughts was making it even more difficult than usual to sense the Sith Master. As much as he wanted to ignore it, the battle had only increased the warning signs he struggled to ignore.

Ferus was too caught up in shock and grief over Tru's death to even notice or care that Master Kenobi had left and Darra with him. He struggled not to cry as he found it difficult to do as a Jedi Knight should. Once he got ahold of his emotions, at least compartmentalised enough to get him out of there, his first thought was not of helping Master Kenobi remove the Sith, but to protect Lady Dormé. With Tru's body in his arms, he set off in the direction of his master.

Anakin only registered that he was alone after everyone had long since departed. He had been so lost in his battle that it didn't occur to him that he was being abandoned for the mission and other personal reasons.

Now with the beasts dead and none within range, the struggling Jedi struggled not to succumb to his exhaustion. He had to get back and soon but it was hard, as the Dark Side had taken its toll making him violently ill and dizzy. Though he wasn't wounded it felt as though his body had been through some amazing fight but it didn't stop Anakin from trudging onwards. It was humiliating to think that he had once more succumbed to the Dark Side, even worse in front of Master and Ferus no less!

At this thought, he wondered where Obi-Wan was. He sensed Ferus—dangerously close to Dormé or so it felt to him—but Obi-Wan seemed much further away. Everything seemed a blur in his mind and his pounding head did little to help clear his thoughts and figure things out.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dormé resigned herself to allowing the female Jedi take a look at her wounds and heal her so that there wasn't even a mark or scratch left. She was amazed at the woman's powers, but didn't think it was anything abnormal, aside from the fact she seemed like a holy person. She wonder what holy person was doing on this planet and what exactly this mission was. She was also afraid.

As soon as Ferus arrived, Dormé bolted over to him, mistakenly believing the body he carried toward them was Anakin. Upon seeing that it was a young girl, she gasped. 'Where's Anakin? What happened?' she asked.

In time, Anakin slowly made his way back to the camp feeling worse for wear and in even worse spirits as he was unable to touch the Light Side in order to reach his Master. As the camp came into sight, Anakin gave a small sigh. Maybe now he could finally get some sleep, preferably with Dormé in his arms.

Though Master Arxia also wanted to know what happened, she knew that the truth would be revealed in time. She helped him lay the body of the young padawan on a cot, knowing there was nothing she could do. 'She has returned to the Force,' she stated softly.

'I know! You think I didn't know that?' Ferus shouted. 'It's MY FAULT!'

Anakin winced upon hearing Ferus's shouts and growled, 'Shut the frack up, Ferus. We don't care!' he snapped unaware of the reasons for Ferus's grief and hoping it was because Dormé turned him down.

In concern, Dormé tried to place a hand on his shoulder when Anakin's voice was heard. She bounded over to him, hugging him tightly. 'I'm so glad you're all right!'

Anakin leaned heavily into Dormé's touch, feeling utterly exhausted and wanting nothing more than to sleep. He didn't have a chance to get very far when he caught sight of the body. 'Wha— What happened?' He asked in confusion, only then picking up on the lack of Force signature and realizing the padawan was lost. 'Oh _echuta_,' he breathed in shock. Anakin was unaware of the details and still didn't realise his responsibility in it all.

Ferus frowned and turned away from the pair in his guilt. 'You weren't there? You didn't see it? She was shot because her lightsaber—the one she asked me to fix, failed to work! I failed her and she's dead because of ME!'

Dormé gasped. She didn't know what to make of it all. 'How? Who did this?'

Anakin knew he should say something but the fear of losing Dormé's love proved to be too great and the words didn't come. Suddenly he really felt worn and his head throbbed even worse. 'Can't we talk about this later?' he murmured in concerned feeling as though everyone was watching him and waiting for him to speak the truth.

'Dormé? Can't we talk about it later?' he tried again in almost desperate tones. Ultimately, Anakin knew he would share the truth with her because the guilt would eat him alive if he didn't.

He felt so weak in her arms and this concerned her even more than the body of the young girl. She wanted to be sure they wouldn't be attacked again by whoever shot her, but at Anakin's request, she met his eyes. 'Of course,' she replied, 'just tell me what I can do to help you.'

Anakin offered her an apologetic look at her words and tightened his embrace as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. 'I'd just like to be held if that's OK,' he murmured in shy tones.

'All right,' she whispered in reply before politely excusing the two of them.

Master Arxia sent soothing thoughts to her troubled padawan, in an effort to help him overcome his grief.

Ferus didn't care what Anakin had to say anyway. He knew it was his own fault, not Anakin's. There was no one else to blame but Ferus. He didn't think he wanted to be a Jedi anymore and this pessimism began to eat away at his resolve, bringing unshed tears to his eyes.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - Anakin and Obi-Wan have an awkward discussion whilst Ferus comes to terms with the death of Tru.


	7. A Plan for the Future

Once alone, Anakin was quick to snuggle up to Dormé, for in her embrace, there was a peace that he desperately needed. His head still pounded and his stomach was stormy, but it eased beneath her touch. Though he desired to sleep, rest wouldn't come. His conscience continued to eat at his thoughts. Ferus's emotions too were hard to ignore; they were powerful and filled with guilt and despair. It did little to ease Anakin's thoughts and it wasn't long before he was shifting about so as to look into Dormé's amber eyes.

'It's not his fault; it's mine,' he began, his expression riddled with guilt and shame. 'I didn't know. I didn't realise that any of this would happen.

'I was only trying to help. But her lightsaber was in pretty rough condition,' Anakin confessed.

Dormé held him close and ran her fingers through his hair for as long as he remained silent. When he was able to speak, she watched him with great concern.

'So even after I fixed hers the first time, it was still weak. I was going to tell her what I had done, but then she went to Ferus instead and I was angry and jealous,' he admitted quietly. 'Everyone knows I'm better at technology than Ferus ever could be, but he's a knight and so she chose him instead, figuring he was better. I never told him that he had to recalibrate the pieces I had mended and because of it—' he fell silent as he glanced away feeling horrible now.

'Now she's dead because of it—because I was too jealous to admit to my actions,' Anakin professed softly. He sat up then feeling his heart sink to the thought. He could barely meet her gaze as he bit his lip.

'I thought she was shot,' Dormé replied.

'She was, but technically speaking, if her lightsaber had been functioning, she would have easily blocked the attack. Her lightsaber was miscalibrated—because I didn't speak out about fixing it earlier. It must have deactivated when she was trying to block the attack,' Anakin explained

'I don't understand,' she began as he continued to explain. 'What's a lightsaber?' She didn't know what he was talking about.

Her question would have made him smile if he hadn't been so plagued by guilt and shame. Now it just reminded him of all he hadn't said and all he didn't really want Dormé to know about him. It was too late now to deny the obvious and with great reluctance, he removed the lightsaber from his utility belt.

'This is a lightsaber. It's a laser sword for a lack of a better word,' Anakin admitted quietly before activating it to show Dormé what he meant. The weapon thrummed to light lighting up the dimly lit room with an eerie blue glow. Soon he was deactivating it as he sighed softly while nodding at her words. He couldn't remember any of the events as the Dark Side had gripped his thoughts at the time.

Dormé jumped when she saw the laser sword activated, but made the connection to when Ferus and he were fighting the beasts. 'Oh,' was all she could say in response, captivated by the lightsaber.

'The lightsaber is the Jedi's most important weapon. In many ways, we are meant to be like those old knights or guards your legends speak of. Some even say we are descendants of the old guard. I don't know if that is true.'

'The Jedi?' she asked, but he began to explain, her eyes wide as she took it all in. 'I've never heard of Jedi before. Is that the name of the company—Old Guard? Knights?'

'Not exactly,' he admitted carefully as Dormé asked if the Jedi was a company. Had it been any other place or time he would have teased her for the notion but she was serious and so was he. Leaning into her touch Anakin was soon playing with her hair as well as he sighed deeply.

'So you were—but I thought you were from Tatooine.' Dormé wove his braid through her fingers as she tried to understand.

'I am but my father took me back to Coruscant so I could train with the Jedi,' he answered carefully before weakly nodding at her question.

'It's a religious thing?'

'Too much so if you ask me.'

Dormé listened intently as he explained further. It was intriguing to her, but she knew after everything that happened, he wouldn't be in the mood for a ton of questions. 'Maybe sometime you could tell me more about it, the Jedi, I mean.'

Anakin was grateful to Dormé for not pressing the matter further. Though he was finally realzing that Dormé didn't know enough about the Jedi to understand the prophecies and beliefs that surrounded him. Perhaps he wouldn't lose her friendship and love after all, at least he hoped he wouldn't. 'I will,' he murmured softly as he gave her a squeeze. Though his head ached and his body was still out of sorts, in Dormé's arms, Anakin felt much more like his old self again.

She kissed his cheek. 'I'm so glad nothing happened to you. I don't know what I would have done if—' Dormé broke off unable to continue her thoughts aloud. 'I'm glad you're all right.'

'Never leave me, Dormé,' he whispered as he tightened his embrace. 'I don't know where I would be without you,' he admitted softly.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, an idea occurred to him and with a shy smile, he met Dormé´s gaze. 'You know, if we were to get married, we'd never have to worry about being apart! I could leave the Jedi and find a job and then we'd get a home together and never have to worry about beasts, or mean people who try to hurt you!' Anakin exclaimed in soft but eager tones. He didn't want his brother or the others knowing and thus he spoke of his ideas softly.

In the dim light of his tent, Dormé heard words she never thought she would hear spoken to her. Her eyes lit up at his eager suggestion. 'Oh Anakin! You mean it? You want to marry me?'

Anakin beamed feeling Dormé's joy at his words and realizing it mirrored his own. Quickly he nodded before giving her a shy smile. 'I mean only if you want to of course,' he in sheepish tones.

She touched his cheek in return, smiling broadly. 'I want to be with you forever, Anakin!'

He then grew serious as he studied her for a moment. 'So when should we leave? Do you want to sneak away when everyone is sleeping?' he whispered softly rather liking this plan already.

As excited as she was about this prospect, she also knew he wasn't feeling well. 'Are you sure you're all right?' she asked, touching his cheek. 'I don't know where the ship is that I borrowed. How would we be able to leave? I'm afraid I've already spent most of the credits I had with me to get here.' Dormé was just as impatient as he was to leave and to be married and start a life together, though she was little over fourteen.

Anakin beamed as he nodded leaning into her touch. 'I'm fine now that you're here,' he said as for the moment his headache and twirling stomach was forgotten.

'I have a ship, its small but it's something. Once we return to Coruscant, I'll sell it and we'll use the money to get married!' he suggested feeling too excited by the prospect to bother thinking about consequences.

'You're going to sell it? I mean, you're OK with that? I have some credits too if you want...I mean, I could pay for it as well. We can live in my apartment until we find another place of course, one of our own. I'm so happy!' She kissed him again.

He shrugged at her question before giving her an impish grin. 'I'm sure we'll get lots of credits for it, I've added upgrades and custom pieces to it after all,' Anakin admitted proudly. It didn't occur to him that no one would want to buy a Jedi's ship as it was classified as hot and could not be legally sold.

'Should we go now? Or wait a bit longer before we go? Do you think they're asleep yet?'

'We should wait until everyone is asleep, otherwise they'll all be asking questions, and then Ferus will be a pain in the _chu'ta_ like he always is,' Anakin snorted as he rolled his eyes. 'Which of course means waking up my Master who will definitely not let us leave because he's such a stick in the mud…'

Anakin bit his lip as reached out to sense the other Force Signatures. Much to his frustration, it seemed everyone was still very much awake.

'_Echuta_, we'll have to wait a bit I think. No one is sleeping,' he replied in frustration before getting an idea of his own. Giving Dormé an impish grin, he soon was leaning to kiss her lips while his fingers moved about to explore her body once more. He definitely could get used to being able to do this with her all the time and not having to fear everyone trying to keep them apart.

Dormé was just as happy and excited about this prospect, giddily kissing him. While he initiated touching, her fingers began undoing the ties of his uniform. It was with a little effort and rather clumsy, though her skills were improving.

Anakin lost all sense of reality or time as he eagerly kissed his beloved. It didn't take him long to catch onto Dormé's actions and initiate the removal of her gown as well. With the memory of their earlier explorations lingering in his thoughts, Anakin was only too eager to continue where they left off. Like Dormé, his fingers were clumsy and it took him a little longer than he would have liked to undo her clasps but in time he found some success and soon he was eagerly kissing her throat and trailing down her collarbone.

Dormé giggled as they divested each other of their garments. She knew they had to be sneaky, but she couldn't resist a delightful giggle. Their kisses became more heated just as they had before. Though it wasn't nearly as comfortable as her bed, Dormé was too thrilled to pay it any mind.

Anakin gave a boyish grin as he eagerly removed her garments. The sound of her laughter was like music to his ears and he soon was moaning her name as their kisses intensified. Though their plans to run away and get married hadn't been forgotten Anakin was of the mind-set that they had every right to make the most of their time they had together and did just that.

Dormé knew that out of all the places there were in the galaxy, this was where she was supposed to be: in his arms. Hearing him say her name like this with so much love and desire made her feel so wonderful. She was his, he was hers, and soon they would be together like this forever! It was almost too good to be true!

* * *

After defeating the Sith Lord, Obi-Wan returned and the rest of the Jedi set up a pyre and burned the late Padawan's body. Ferus and Anakin were both absent from the ceremony.

Obi-Wan spoke privately with Master Arxia about what had happened. They would be departing for Coruscant in the morning.

'And the girl?' he inquired.

'In Skywalker's tent,' she replied.

Obi-Wan nodded solemnly before taking his leave of the Jedi Knight. He walked toward his Padawan's tent and though he didn't want to disturb him, he did wish to speak with him.

Obi-Wan overheard the giggle and began walking in the other direction. It went against his conscience to interrupt and he was unsure what he ought to do. His allegiance to the Jedi Order told him one thing while his heart told him something entirely different.

Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks, having debated with himself over this enough. He had a responsibility to his Padawan as much as he had one to the Jedi Order and he knew if he waited any longer, he wouldn't be able to ask Anakin. He just needed to be certain that this was just casual and nothing long-term, that was all.

He used the Force as he had the first time he walked in on them and then his voice. 'Anakin—I need to speak with you...ANAKIN!' he said, trying to be non-confrontational about it. Though he didn't look inside, he ran out of options and as he looked away, he opened the flap of his tent.

Just as he was about to return to this very pleasant means of expressing his love Anakin felt something nudging him. Frowning, he gave Dormé a confused look. Her hands were nowhere near his shoulders and this only aided in Anakin's confusion. It happened again and this time he was annoyed by the distraction.

'Dormé, stop poking me,' he muttered not quite registering how impossible it was for her to do such a thing when her hands were clearly elsewhere. But soon his thoughts melted away to the heady rush of emotions leaving him oblivious to Obi-Wan's attempts to get his attentions.

That was until he felt a rush of cold air entering the room from when Obi-Wan opened the tents flap. '_Echuta_-_we_! It's freezing,' he muttered reaching for a blanket only to discover that they weren't alone.

Anakin groaned in annoyance as he reluctantly disentangled himself from Dormé. 'Master, can't you see we're busy?' he snapped in agitation. It then occurred to him just whom it was that was doing the nudging and he scowled. 'I should have known you'd try and ruin things,' he pouted.

Only when his Padawan spoke did Obi-Wan dare to peek inside and what h saw was not reassuring.

Dormé modestly pulled the blanket over her naked form, blushing deeply as Anakin argued with his master.

'Anakin, we need to have a talk...in private,' Obi-Wan replied. He insisted his point through the Force.

Anakin frowned clearly not wanting to talk at all, certainly not with his brother and Master. 'Why? Can't it wait?' he argued as he rolled his eyes feeling Obi-Wan once more touching the Force to make his point.

'_Echuta_, fine!' he huffed as he stormed about collecting his clothes.

Upon hearing Anakin's exclamation, Obi-Wan knew he was just in time. He remained silent as he walked a little ways from the tent.

'I don't believe this, I swear it's like everyone is trying to stop us from ever making love,' he cursed under his breath before giving Dormé an apologetic look.

'I'll be back soon -I hope,' he said before giving her a quick kiss and following his master out of the tent. Anakin scowled as he followed his master already knowing what this conversation was about but believing his situation was the exception to the rule. After all what was the point of being Chosen One if it didn't give you anything special?

'Anakin, I think you probably know why I need to speak with you.' He stopped in his tracks and had a seat on a rock formation, facing his Padawan. 'While I know little about the young woman you are spending time with this evening...' he began carefully, 'I am sure you appreciate her enough to let her know that you cannot make a commitment to her.'

Truthfully, he really didn't care about being a Jedi anymore and just wanted to start his new life with Dormé. Anakin sighed as Obi-Wan spoke of attachments. It didn't occur to Anakin that his Master was of the mind-set that Dormé was just another local and Anakin was getting fresh.

He watched him with great concern. 'Before you are intimate with her, it is important we discuss protection because the last thing, I'm sure, that you would want is to leave her with child and not be able to be there for her, especially since she is so young...'

However was he spoke of intimacy Anakin's cheeks warmed, this was the last topic that he wanted to discuss with his brother of all people. He wasn't making much sense as Anakin had no idea what he meant by protection or what could happen if he wasn't careful. In his mind pregnancy was something the Force willed. If they wanted a child, a child would come to be.

'Of course I don't want children with her yet! I'm only sixteen Master! When we're ready for children we'll have them,' he sniffed feeling insulted his master would think him so dim. The rest of the discussion was entirely missed.

'Ready for children?' he gasped. 'Anakin, regardless of your age, you can't be thinking about that sort of commitment. You are a member of the Jedi Order! While there is nothing forbidding a Jedi from sexual contact, many cultures believe this to be a sign of intimacy and you must consider the implications for this girl.'

'A sign of intimacy? What you think I'm with Dormé for fun and games?' Anakin balked in disbelief and offence. 'I don't give a damn what the Order thinks! We care about each other and I have no intention of just leaving her!' Anakin snapped.

Obi-Wan sighed, scratching at his beard. 'Perhaps it would be best if I escort her home.'

His master spoke of escorting Dormé home and this caused Anakin raised a brow as he folded his arms. 'I suppose that means you'll be escorting me home too then?'

He frowned at Anakin's statement. 'Perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad idea,' he replied, standing up and facing him directly. 'What happened to you out there? I thought my Padawan would be backing me up and I faced that Sith Lord alone. I think your head is not where it should be.'

'I hate this place. It brings out the worst in me,' he professed carefully. There was no point in lying, as Anakin knew his master was no fool and already knew the truth.

* * *

Dormé overheard the sound of crying nearby and after quickly dressing, she stepped out of the tent to find Ferus with his head in hands, crying. 'Ferus?' she asked quietly as she approached and placed a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at her, his eyes puffy and red from crying. 'It's my fault,' he said.

'It's not your fault, Ferus,' she replied, not mentioning anything that Anakin said.

'I shouldn't even be upset about it—Master Arxia just wanted me to meditate and I can't—' he explained.

'It's all right,' Dormé said to Ferus who was now crying in front of her.

'Promise you won't tell anyone that I—' Ferus began as he wiped his cheeks.

'I won't tell,' Dormé assured him.

'Thanks,' Ferus replied, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

Dormé wondered if Anakin was still speaking with his master or not, but it was a cold night and she rose to her feet to return inside the tent.

* * *

Obi-Wan sighed. It would have been much better if Anakin was just having fun, for that would mean this wasn't serious. Clearly, this wasn't the case. 'Anakin, Jedi are forbidden emotional attachments; you know this! You must learn to let go—'

Anakin rolled his eyes at his Masters words, 'Why is it that I'm the exception to every other rule but this one? If I'm the almighty Chosen One, I think an exception should be made so me and Dormé can be together!' Anakin snapped.

'I'm not letting her go! She's everything I've ever wanted! She makes me happy—' he faltered as his temper faded. Anakin wished she were here now; surely, Dormé would be able to explain the feelings they had for each other so much better than he ever could.

'She completes me,' he admitted quietly. Obi-Wan faced him then and Anakin faltered to his questions. Biting his lip, he glanced away not wanting to admit to the truth.

It was clear that anything he had to say on the matter was not getting through to Anakin. Obi-Wan didn't know how to appeal to him or get him to understand the severe consequences of his behaviour. He sighed, but overheard Anakin's murmur.

Facing his padawan, Obi-Wan admitted, 'If this is true, Anakin, then you know how hard it is for me not to act on such desires. Such restraint can be so terribly hard, but I know it is right. And I know how unfair it would be to her if I were to act on them...'

Anakin didn't quite understand his master's words and looked at him curiously. What did he mean by that? Did he have someone who completed him too? The thought almost made Anakin laugh. A more uptight and stickler for the rules Anakin had never known. He just couldn't imagine Obi-Wan even noticing another girl, nevermind trying to kiss them or hold their hand.

'But what is wrong with my feelings for her? Why is it so bad?' Anakin argued. 'She makes me happy and I make her happy too! There isn't anything wrong with that!'

He didn't speak of how Dormé seemed to ease the darkness that stormed inside of him, or that knowing her made him want to be a better person. Anakin just didn't think that his brother would understand such things and thus kept it to himself.

'The feelings you possess for her are not wrong or bad, Anakin,' Obi-Wan insisted. 'Attachment leads to jealousy,' he explained. 'Jealousy is a path to the dark side.'

Anakin sighed at his Master's words having heard it before, shaking his head as he turned around to walk back to his tent. 'I know, I know,' he said as he rolled his eyes and returned back to the tent. It wasn't like he hadn't heard this story before and it was clear to Anakin that his Master clearly didn't understand what he was trying to explain.

Obi-Wan watched in concern. Yet again, his padawan tossed his advice away as though he wasn't the more experienced one. It was not the first time that Anakin's ego worried him.

* * *

'Is everything all right?' Dormé asked when Anakin returned.

Anakin rolled his eyes as he sighed to Dormé's question. 'Just got an earful from my Master that's all,' he admitted before slipping his arms around her and leaning in for a kiss.

'Oh—' she was about to inquire further when he was kissing her.

'I don't suppose you'd still want to continue where we left off?' he murmured between kisses. Ferus's plight and the fact he was the cause of it was all but forgotten for Anakin as his thoughts turned passionate.

Dormé grinned impishly at his suggestion. 'I think that's a brilliant idea,' she said between kisses. 'After all, we do have some time before everyone is asleep.' She couldn't wait for their plan to get under way, for soon they would be married and starting a new life together.

'What better way to pass the time,' Anakin murmured as his fingers eagerly sought out the clasps of her gown once more. He had about enough of the Jedi Order and was only too ready to start his new life with his beloved.

Dormé was just as eager as Anakin to continue learning about each other's bodies. All thoughts of what his master wanted to talk to him about and Ferus's sadness over the death of his friend were long forgotten. Not a moment was wasted, but as her gown was slipped off her shoulders and she was attempting to get his trousers off, she was walking backwards and tripped on her gown. Dormé grabbed onto Anakin as she struggled to remain standing.

Despite her attempts to hold onto him Anakin wasn't able to maintain his own balance and was soon losing his footing as he half stumbled, half tripped into their tent. Fortunately, he was able to avoid falling onto Dormé and by instinctively touching the Force Anakin was even able to manoeuvre his body in time so that Dormé landed on him instead.

Despite his sore back and bottom, Anakin couldn't help but laugh as he could only imagine how hilarious they looked. 'This is definitely not how I imagined making love would be like,' he professed between laughter before kissing Dormé's throat and continuing where he left off.

Dormé burst out laughing. 'Oh? And just how did you imagine it would be?' she inquired mischievously as he kissed her throat.

Anakin just moaned her name in reply as her fingers sought to relieve him of his boxers. He hadn't meant to tickle her but in his eagerness was soon fumbling about attempting to remove the last of her garments which involved unintentionally tickling her sides in the process.

Dormé tugged at his starship boxers until his administrations proved to be rather ticklish. 'Are you doing that on purpose?' she giggled.

'Doing what?' he panted out between hungry kisses. His expression soon turned impish and Anakin chuckled as he moved to tickle her sides once more. 'Doing this?' he teased with a grin.

Once they had finally rid themselves of their clothes Anakin found a way to guide them to their makeshift pallet where he eagerly explored and kissed his beloved. Although he had hopes of learning how to make love with his beautiful bride-to-be Anakin was quite content to remain here in her arms just enjoying the taste of her lips. This was definitely his favourite pastime and Anakin hoped he'd be able to do this more often in the near future.

Her hands explored his body as they kissed, drawing him closer as though he could never be close enough. Moments like this would last her a lifetime and reassure her during the darkest of times that he was her one true love.

Her words echoed in his thoughts and left its mark on his heart. Briefly distracted he drew back slightly so as to stare into her eyes. The love and peace he saw there warmed his heart and thrilled him. He didn't respond as he leaned in to eagerly kiss her once more, letting his body become the vessel from which his heart communicated through.

His hands though still clumsy were a little more skilled than before. His thoughts now aware of the effects of Dormé's emotions mingling with his own were also a little more cautious leaving Anakin to maintain some mental shields so as not to lose control so quickly. Though he was more than ready to further their bond through physical means Anakin didn't wish to rush and somewhere in the heavenly realms of emotions a part of him knew that soon they would be leaving. For this reason alone, he refrained from making love to Dormé and instead focused on satisfying their needs through more innocent means.

This time even though their kisses were passionate, they were able to kiss a lot longer than the time Anakin lost control. This was a good thing, in Dormé's mind because she really liked this activity and didn't want it to end.

'Did I tell you how much I like kissing you?' Dormé murmured, running a hand through his hair and twirling the braid. She couldn't wait until they could spend all the time they wanted doing this. She was going to be married! She was going to be his wife and he was going to be her husband!

Anakin loved sharing kisses with Dormé and because of his restraints the padawan was able to truly able to appreciate and enjoy the closeness he was experiencing in her arms. His only regret was that they didn't discover this sooner. Her fingers ran through his hair and twirled his brain causing Anakin to purr in contentment. His own fingers too gently twirled the loose strands of her hair as his lips continued to leisurely taste hers. It felt as though their very souls were communicating through their kisses and at hearing Dormé's murmur Anakin grinned as he gave her a squeeze.

'I wish we could always be like this—spend forever just kissing and doing this,' he said softly as he studied her. 'I can't wait to be called your husband—and you my wife,' Anakin murmured feeling as though they were on the verge of making their every dream a reality.

'Me too, Anakin,' she murmured. She brushed her nose against his, grinning. 'I love you.'

She didn't know why, but as she looked deep into his eyes, holding him and feeling his arms around her, she felt as though they were already working on a deeper relationship, a binding, a marriage of sorts. 'We'll be a real family...have our own home...and someday maybe have children too...'

Anakin gave her a squeeze as she spoke of the future. It was so exciting to think that soon they would be married and in time would have a family of their own. But for now they had to wait and Anakin was only too happy to do so in Dormé's arms.

Eventually, nightfall came and with it, Anakin's excitement grew. Once he was certain that everyone was asleep, he quietly disentangled himself from Dormé's embrace and went to collect what little he had for belongings.

'Okay, I'm ready when you are,' he said softly before grinning as he pulled her into a quick but loving kiss.

Anakin was grinning from ear to ear trying all the while to remain quiet as he packed his utility belt. The harder Anakin tried to be silent and stealthy the clumsier he seemed to become, leaving the padawan to trip over his own cloak and then spill all the contents of his satchel onto the floor. By the time they were ready to leave, he was nervously giggling and glowing like a super nova.

Anakin squeezed her hand as they sneaked off to his ship. He was a little quieter this time and once they were inside the cockpit Anakin breathed a sigh of relief before kissing Dormé once more and starting up the ship.

It wasn't long before they were taking off into the night. Feeling Dormé's arms tightly wrapped around him held a silent reminder that this was real and not a dream. It was the most wonderful feeling and once they were safely in space Anakin put the ship into autopilot and turned his attention to Dormé.

Despite her fears of flying, her heart was already soaring and by the time he was setting the ship on autopilot, which was something she had yet to figure out how to do, Dormé's thoughts were entirely on Anakin and their future together. She didn't even register her fears.

Holding her near, Anakin ran his fingers through the petite beauty's hair and was soon gently kissing her lips. 'I love you so much, Dormé,' he murmured softly before kissing her again.

Once the ship was in autopilot, his attention was back on his beloved. He held her near and gave her an eager squeeze as she spoke of her love and the power of their friendship. Never in his life had he ever felt so happy. 'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me,' he murmured between heated kisses.

Despite the cockpits size and the fact it wasn't exactly warm, Anakin couldn't resist attempting to remove Dormé of her garbs. Though he had no intention of attempting to make love to her, as he wanted to do things properly, Anakin wanted to feel the warmth of her skin against his own; it always left him feeling whole in ways he couldn't quite explain.

Dormé was unaware that he intended to wait until they were in a more convenient location and protested. 'Anakin—there's not exactly a lot of room here...' she said, her cheeks lighting up. 'Are you sure you want to—'

Anakin gave Dormé a quizzical look before realizing what she meant and blushing a bright red himself. 'Oh you thought? Oh!' Anakin bit his lip as he gave a boyish grin. 'I was sorta hoping we could when we got home. I mean so we'd at least have a bed and no interruptions stuff like that,' he admitted sheepishly.

'I was just wanting to hold you—I just feel closer to you when we're naked,' Anakin explained as he continued his attempts to remove her garbs.

'Yeah, that's what I was thinking too,' she replied, grinning when he continued to tend to her gown.

Her laughter caused him to grin impishly as he had discovered a new ticklish spot of hers. Soon he was attempting to find other ticklish spots while pretending (and failing miserably) not to.

'Hey!' she said, gasping when he found another ticklish spot. She hit him playfully. 'Now I have to find one of yours—' she decided. After all, it was only fair.

He laughed as she playfully swatted him and pretended to play innocent before bursting out in laughter as Dormé found one of his many ticklish spots. 'Not fair! I'm more ticklish than you!' he teased between laughter while attempting to tickle her further.

'T-that's not t-true!' she said, trying to fight him off with little luck, though she wasn't really trying all that hard. But there was that well-known spot on her neck that he so often indulged in. She gasped, 'How do you do that?'

Anakin laughed as he continued his little attack at her question he tried to keep a straight face. 'It's a special Jedi trick,' he concluded before snickering.

Her touch however was more soothing than ticklish and soon he too was gently caressing her back and leaning in to steal another kiss.

* * *

The moment they landed, Dormé eagerly, with Anakin's help, leapt out of the ship and pulled him to the small apartment. She was smiling broadly and too excited to notice that anything was out of place. Though she was eager to get married, there were other things on her mind as well.

Anakin was equally eager to get back to Dormé's small apartment after helping Dormé out of the ship before racing off in side with her.

Once they were in the comforts of her home Anakin eagerly slipped his arms around Dormé and began to undo the clasps of her gown as he returned her kisses with all the love and passion he bore for her.

In spite of her inexperience, she was getting much better at tending to Anakin's garbs. 'Where were we?' she asked mischievously before kissing him again.

'Somewhere over here,' he murmured between heated kisses. Once they were free of their restrictive clothes Anakin grinned impishly before scooping Dormé up in his arms and carrying her to her bed.

Dormé kissed him with all the love she bore for him, for the titles they unofficially called each other, and the love they held for each other. She slipped out of his arms and landed flat on her back, giggling, 'Thanks!'

'Oh _echuta_! I'm sorry!' he apologized as his cheeks lit up. But soon he was being pulled into her arms once more and eagerly kissing her lips. However Anakin had forgotten how small Dormé's bed was and when he went to join her the padawan over shot himself and soon landed on the floor with a resounding thud.

She was laughing and pulling at him to get him closer. 'You're going to fall off—' she said, as the bed was rather small.

Staring up at the ceiling in disbelief Anakin briefly wondered just how one moment he was in Dormé's arms, the next he was here.

'Oh—Anakin! I—Are you OK?' she asked, sitting up and peering down at him. She spotted him lying on the floor with a confused look on his face.

'What the _iquicha_ just happened there?' he murmured in stunned confusion.

Dormé burst out laughing as she reached for him with the intention of pulling him back onto the bed. 'You should see the look on your face,' she said, giggling as she helped him up.

'You should thank me,' he teased with an impish grin as he re-joined her back on the bed. 'For not taking advantage of the moment and pulling you onto the floor with me,' Anakin concluded with a grin.

'Tell me where you're hurt and I'll kiss it better,' she said.

The offer was too much to resist and soon Anakin was pointing to his lips claiming they were the most wounded of his fall.

Dormé soon became consumed with Anakin once again and this time, she was ready to fully embrace her beloved. As she kissed him and held him in her arms, she encouraged him with her body to take things to the next level. Though she was serious about this and about him, she was also just so happy to have him here with her and to know that he loved her too.

Anakin was hardly a skilled lover by any means, but he was sincere and he was generous. As much as he wanted to lose himself in Dormé's embrace, Anakin knew his limits and did not wish to ruin this special moment for Dormé.

It took all of his training to block her emotions, to keep his own in check as he explore her petite form with all the love he bore. In time Anakin began to understand that Dormé was as ready for this as he was and careful prepared to take things to the next level.

But in his desire to ensure that everything was just perfect for his beloved Anakin became distracted and shifting about to get more comfortable he lost his balance. His eyes snapped open as he struggled to use his weight to keep himself onto the bed, but it was too late and soon he was tumbling to the floor with an unceremonious thud.

Dormé had no idea what happened. One minute her heart was racing with anticipation and the next, she was alone on the bed. 'Anakin? Anakin—what the _urugal_— Are you OK?'

Anakin groaned and uttered a curse. He couldn't believe he was back on the floor again. '_Iquicha-we._ It happened again!' he grumbled in embarrassment. 'I'm fine—except maybe my wounded pride.

Dormé crawled over to peer at him from atop the bed.

'I think by the time all is said and done I'm going to be on a first name basis with the floor,' Anakin groused before giving Dormé a sheepish smile.

'D'you want me to come down there? Would that be easier?' She couldn't resist grinning.

'I'm not that bad am I?' he asked with a wry grin that didn't quite hide his now bright red cheeks.

'No, Anakin, I'm only teasing,' Dormé said sympathetically as she tried to help him back onto the bed.

'I just hope you won't be angry with me for all the bumps and bruises you're likely to have once all is said and done,' she added shyly.

Anakin blushed at her words and gave another sheepish grin. He laughed at her words and shook his head, 'I'll only have myself to blame for constantly falling off,' he said with a chuckle.

Dormé kissed him. 'I was getting cold and I can only imagine how cold the floor would be,' she said in light of the early years she spent sleeping on the floor of her previous shelter.

Anakin readily returned her kiss and grinned impishly at her words. '—Or hard for that matter,' he added with a wink before joining her on the bed.

Dormé wasn't sure how they were going to figure this out exactly, for it was so easy to forget about things when she was kissing Anakin. She was especially prone to forgetting about their location or more exactly the placement of their combined set of limbs, making it an amusing pursuit to say the least.

Anakin attempted once more to set things into motion but it seemed every time he came close to success his balance was lost or he'd forget how much room they had and accidentally hit Dormé. Either way it always seemed to land him on the floor. In the end, Anakin decided that seeing as he is was spending as much time on the floor as he was in Dormé's arms it was best move the mattress to the floor.

'Or at this rate we'll never get ahead,' he admitted sheepishly as he set the mattress to the floor before drawing Dormé back into his arms. This time success was more within reach and Anakin was careful to clear his thoughts and contain his emotions to ensure that Dormé would enjoy what was to come as much as he did. He didn't want to forget himself before it was time, but at least he no longer had to worry about falling off the floor.

This time Anakin had a much easier time learning how to take things further. Though much of the time he was half on the mat and half on the floor it didn't stop Anakin from trying his best. It was tricky and at times a struggle but in the end Anakin was able to maintain his control and succeed in fulfilling their hearts desire.

But it wasn't the rush of emotions that he would remember most about their time together, or the humorous attempts that brought them this far; it was the love he saw in Dormé's eyes. The way she looked at him and smiled as though her very soul had reached out and encompassed his own with all the love she bore. It was the most beautiful moment of his life and Anakin knew he would never forget it for as long as he lived.

Even though it was a little bit of a struggle, it was very enjoyable for Dormé to say the least. No matter what happened in their lives, Dormé knew for the first time in her life that she truly was loved by another human being. She loved him and he loved her; nothing could compare to that knowledge and the physical manifestation of this love they bore each other. No one had ever cared or looked at her the way he did and now he was here with her, bringing all of her wildest dreams to fruition.

Though their experience was hardly as Anakin had envisioned it to be and he couldn't have been happier for it. It wasn't the stuffy, tacky, romantic moment that he had secretly feared, nor was it swift and empty romps he had heard so often by his fellow colleagues. It was beautiful and sacred, filled with laughter and joy, everything he had desired and so much more of his first experience with his beloved. While it was hardly perfect, it didn't matter to Anakin who was just so happy to be able to show his love for Dormé in this way.

In time, Anakin's body grew weary and in time he settled to the floor for the last time. This time Dormé didn't help him back onto the mattress but instead joined him. Anakin happily grabbed the pillows with his free arm as Dormé draw a blanket over them both. He grinned at her words and gave her a squeeze as he returned her loving kiss.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - Reality is a cruel mistress.


	8. A Commitment

Anakin wasn't even aware that he had fallen asleep and was now lost in contented dreams that involved Dormé, himself and a beautiful home on a planet he had never seen before. The sounds of laughter and pattering of little footsteps filled his senses and though Anakin was far too young to become a father, in his dream, he was old enough and was thrilled to know they had many children together.

Ahead he saw Dormé and their little ones playing along the shorelines of their home. Though Anakin didn't join them in the water he remained near basking in their joy and happiness.

But in time the dream faded and slowly Anakin began to stir awake to the taste of Dormé's lips against his own and her gentle touch in his hair. 'Dormé? I'm not dreaming am I?' Anakin murmured in sleep tones as he slowly opened his eyes.

'No, I don't think so...unless I'm dreaming too,' Dormé replied, grinning. She could barely believe that this was the first of many mornings they would share together. The thought filled her with such joy, it could not be encompassed in words.

The sight of her brought a smile to his lips and soon he was reaching up to caress her cheek and leaning in to steal a kiss. Anakin couldn't believe that every morning he would be able to wake up like this in the arms of his beloved.

'Here's to the first morning of many we will soon share,' he murmured as he gave Dormé a squeeze. He didn't think it was humanly possible to be so happy.

'How I love you—' she replied, caressing his form and giving him another kiss. 'Maybe...you might...would you like to give it another shot...before breakfast I mean...' She grinned mischievously as she allowed her hands to wander.

'Although we do have a big day to plan for...'

He purred to her words and murmured his own words of love before returning Dormé's kiss. Her fingers soon began to wander, taking with it all of Anakin's coherent thoughts. Dormé didn't need to ask twice as soon Anakin was eagerly kissing her lips and exploring her body with all the love he bore for Dormé.

'It can wait—the breakfast, ceremony too—' he murmured between heated kisses. Anakin only paused when he was reminded of the warnings given to him by other Jedi boys who tried to -in their own roundabout way help answer Anakin's questions about such things.

'Yes,' she breathed between their passionate kisses. Dormé pulled him closer as though he could never be close enough.

'Are you sure you're going all right with this?' he asked as he forced his hazy thoughts to clear. 'I mean—if you're—you know—I mean—' he turned a bright red then. 'I don't want to hurt you if you're still—' he stammered out in embarrassment. Anakin had tried to be mindful of such things and understood if she wanted just to explore for such reasons.

His questions confused her at first until he finally spit it out. Dormé blushed deeply as she admitted, 'Well, at first—when you—it did hurt a little, but then it didn't anymore—I don't know how to explain it, but I mean...Yes, I'm fine—I mean I would like to try it again.'

Her admittance brought a sigh of relief to his lips and soon he was hungrily kissing her once more. 'As—would I—just wanted to make—sure,' he murmured between kisses as his fingers explored her with the same passion as before. Once more, he was mindful to keep his thoughts from being completely consumed by Dormé's emotions so as not to lose control of his own. Soon breakfast, the wedding just about everything else was forgotten as Anakin lost himself in Dormé's embrace.

Dormé appreciated his consideration and was intent on rewarding it by making the most of their next attempt. She enjoyed being able to love Anakin in this way, having a physical as well as spiritual connection with her best friend and dearest love. These memories they cultivated together in the beginning of their relationship would last her a lifetime. Even in the height of their passion, Dormé felt it was never enough. The more she received, the more she wanted.

They lay entwined on the mattress on the floor; the blanket that had been covering them was long since tangled up and lost somewhere. Dormé's breathing slowly returned to normal, though her heart still pounded in her chest. Her cheeks were lit up and a smile accentuated the freckles on her cheeks as she gazed at her beloved.

As their passion play drew to a momentary pause Anakin found himself once more gazing upon his beloved in peaceful contentment. Though her hair was ruffled about and her cheeks flushed with colour in his mind she looked every bit the goddess of his heart. With a shy smile, he caressed her cheeks and kissed her lips gently. 'I love you so much,' he murmured.

Dormé remembered a gown she recently bought that she longed to show him. She thought perhaps it would be the perfect gown for their wedding. The thought made her giggle.

'What? What's so funny?' he asked in confusion.

'I have a surprise for you,' she said. 'Stay there,' she added as she got up from their bed and grabbed the gown from her small wardrobe. Her eyes missed the disaster nearby, for she was still in a blissful daze for the upcoming nuptials. 'I'll be right back!'

She dashed into the fresher and washed up swiftly before slipping into the gown and pinning up part of her hair, allowing the rest of her brunette locks to tumble down her back. When she emerged, she had an even wider smile on her face. 'What do you think?'

The sight that greeted Anakin left him breathless. Dormé was as radiant as she was beautiful. The words would not come as he stared at her in awe and adoration. For the moment, the mess that surrounded them was missed on Anakin, as was the fact he wasn't wearing any clothes. Everything around him faded into the background as only one thing remained prominent in his thoughts; Dormé and her beauty.

'_Echuta-we_ you look so beautiful, like those sculptures you see in the Jedi temple—but real,' Anakin breathed in awe before approaching as his fingers gently twirled the dark strands of her hair while his free hand wrapped around her petite form. 'I can't believe I'm going to be your husband, that I'm going to be married to you,' he continued feeling so humbled and so excited at the same time.

Anakin watched in awe as Dormé twirled around revealing the back of her gown which was equally beautiful to behold. It was an image that would haunt him for years. For now, it left him feeling torn between scooping her into his arms, kissing her lips, and removing the gown as quickly as his eager fingers would let him. In the end, he approached and took her in his arms feeling incredibly excited and humbled by it all.

'Dormé Skywalker. I like the sound of that!'

He beamed as Dormé spoke her new name and gave her a squeeze as he returned her kiss. But in the end his emotions were too much and soon Anakin was scooping her up in his arms and twirling her around.

Afterwards, Dormé was bouncing with joy and humming to herself as she fixed breakfast while Anakin showered. As everything heated up on the stove, she went to find her stash of credits so that they could pay the required amount for a marriage licence. It was then she noticed how ransacked her apartment was. Without Anakin there to distract her, Dormé was stunned to the reality of the situation.

Dormé's expression fell as she stood up, her hand clutching the box that used to hold her credits. She had no money. It wasn't the first time in her life that she had no credits and it honestly didn't upset her. It was the fact that this meant she had no means of providing for the two of them and that she wouldn't be able to pay for the licence...that they wouldn't be able to get married...

How could she tell him? It was her fault. She should have taken her credits with her when she went to see him, but instead she left it here thinking it would be safe. She stood there in shock, unable to move.

Anakin spent far more time in the fresher than usual as he shaved and play about with his spiky hair, attempting to slick it back the way he had seen some of the older Jedi padawan's did. He wanted to look more mature and debonaire, every bit the handsome groom he wanted to be for Dormé. In the end there was little he could do as his hair was too short and too spiky and thus he was forced to give up. At least his uniform was clean and for the most part free of wrinkles.

Stepping out into the main room Anakin soon joined Dormé who was staring at something he couldn't see. Her emotions were startling and served to confuse Anakin until he took in the sight before him. Confused his jaw dropped before his cheeks burned a bright red. Did they really do this in their haste?

_Did I do this? I'm not that bad a klutz am I?_ he wondered in horror. Though it was clearly a safe distance from the bed Anakin was certain he had done something to cause it. After all why else would he haven't noticed it before?

'Dormé? I'm so sorry. I did this didn't I? I mean when we first came here I didn't mean to, honestly I don't really remember I was a bit distracted,' he admitted with a sheepish look before quickly adding, 'I'll find a way to replace everything—'

She looked over at him, her eyes filling with tears. 'No—no you didn't—Anakin—All of it is gone! I'm sorry—It's my fault—All of my credits, everything I saved up—it's all gone! I had it in here,' she said, holding up the box formerly containing her credits, 'but someone must have—while I was away—and now...'

Dormé shook her head, trying not to shed tears over this. Even though she felt responsible for this tragedy, she felt even worse because it meant she would not be able to pay for a marriage licence. It also meant it would be much longer before they would be able to find a bigger place to live. 'I should have brought it with me when I left to visit you.'

Slowly his mind wrapped around the fact they had been robbed. Everything that was meant for the wedding was now gone and his dearest beloved believed herself to be responsible for it, though he couldn't see how.

Silently, he drew Dormé into his arms and gently began to rub her back as his thoughts ran wild with possibilities of how they could turn the situation around. 'It's not your fault, Dormé. How could you have known? I mean you kept it in a safe place, right? I mean it's not your fault. We'll find a way around this. I know we will,' Anakin pressed on.

'It's going to take such a long time to save it all up again,' Dormé cried, burying her face in his chest. 'I had been saving...'

'It's going to be all right. We're going to find a way around this, I promise you,' Anakin gently assured Dormé as he held her tightly. His thoughts reeled with possibilities and focusing on the future he spoke of them.

An idea occurred to him and he gave Dormé a hopeful smile. 'I have the starship! I can sell that and use the credits for the wedding and even to pay for a place for us to live! I can fix ships and I'm good at building things so it wouldn't be hard for me to find a job,' Anakin continued hoping to help cheer Dormé up a little. It was still hard to believe that as quick as his dreams became a reality, it was stolen, quite literally, away.

His optimism never failed to appeal to her. 'Are you sure?' she asked, wiping her eyes and looking up at him.

'I'm positive. This is meant to be, Dormé, and no matter what is to come, we'll find a way around it. Nothing can stop us from being together,' he said with fierce determination and sincerity.

'My job still pays well, when they have work for me.' She started to smile too. 'With the two of us, then we could get back again more quickly.

'It'll be all right, won't it,' she decided. 'I don't think they took anything else.'

He smiled as she spoke of her job and how they could pool their credits to make their dreams possible. Hearing her confirm his thoughts made their situation even more real and more hopeful. Anakin was soon leaning in to kiss her lips before offering her an impish grin.

'They didn't steal you away from me and in the end that is the only thing that matters,' he said in loving tones.

'Besides, we'll be married before you know it and settling into our new home and it will be like nothing ever happened,' he assured her with a smile as he gave her a squeeze. 'Maybe, one day in future when we're older and have children we can tell them how we fought fate and got married!' Anakin continued as he helped tidy up things.

'So after we sell the ship when did you want to go looking for a new place?' he asked in curiosity.

'You think that would be a better idea. I mean, to wait until we've saved up some more before getting married?' she asked, wondering what he thought was best. 'Maybe a new place would be safer...safer to save up.'

'I think maybe a new place might be a good idea. At least some place that's a bit safer anyways. Besides, once I get a job, you know fixing ships and stuff, we'll have lots of credits and be able to get married soon after,' Anakin said eagerly.

He was unaware of the finer aspects of handling funds and was very naive due to the fact he never had much as a slave and that the Order never did teach such things.

'Besides, even if we can't marry right away I'll always see you as my wife—that is if you don't mind,' Anakin added in sheepish tones.

She paused and looked him in the eyes. 'Of course I don't mind!' She hugged him tightly. 'And you'll be my husband, forever! With or without certificates to say so.'

* * *

Life never seemed so perfect until now and Anakin wondered how he could have missed out on the simple things he had never noticed before. Perhaps it was the beauty by his side who made everything around him seem to filled with life.

However, reality soon woke him up to the facts. He spent much of the day attempting to sell a Jedi ship that no one wanted—for fear of the repercussions, for no one wanted to face the wrath of the mystical Jedi, even if it was one of their padawans who sold it to them.

Dormé wasn't sure what they were going to do now. If they couldn't move, then this meant that they wouldn't be able to save up any credits. It felt like the entire galaxy was conspiring against them. Nothing they could do made a difference and she was getting a sinking feeling that things would only get worse.

Anakin found that Obi-Wan had left him a message, informing him that he was expected back at the Jedi Temple for debriefing on their last mission. It was hardly what he wanted to hear and he uttered a series of colourful curses upon listening to it. 'I'm not going back, forget it. I'm sick of their stupid rules and their even more stupid prophecies,' he cursed before proceeding to vent out his frustration on one of the chairs nearby.

Dormé didn't like what she heard either, feeling it was yet another attempt to keep them away from each other. She didn't flinch when he took his frustration out on a chair. It didn't help matters, but Dormé was more intent on figuring out a way to make this work.

Turning to him, she mentioned the senatorial district again, insisting they would at least be able to lend her credit. 'Perhaps they could give us a loan or something,' she suggested.

'A loan? Lending us money? Do you think they'll let us?' Anakin asked in hopeful tones as they returned to the ship.

'I've been a good employee. I don't see why they wouldn't help us out. It didn't solve the problem of what to do with the ship and it wouldn't be long before Anakin would be found and taken away from her again.

When they arrived, those who had heard her speaking of Anakin many times were just as thrilled to meet him and eagerly shook his hand. It seemed her relationship with Anakin would help further her career and even offer her a more permanent job. She was unaware it was because some of them believed him to be the one the Jedi spoke of in their prophecies, that he was the Chosen One. They looked upon Dormé more fondly because of his love for her.

Dormé was all smiles as she spoke with the business people in kind tones. Eventually they were able to procure the credits and the loan was one without interest. 'This should be enough,' she said to Anakin, grinning from ear to ear.

'I know of a few nice places in the area that are up for sale,' one of the ladies said.

'We were just going to rent—'

'Oh my dear, no, this is enough to purchase a place—'

'Really?' Dormé didn't believe so.

'I am friends with the owner of this particular plaza. If you tell him I sent you and show him this datadisc, I'm sure he'll set you up.' She winked at the pair.

'Thank you—' Dormé was incredibly shocked at the kindness showed to her, but was not about to reject the offers.

Once they were along Anakin couldn't resist showering Dormé in kisses as he gave her a bear hug and twirled her around. 'I knew you'd be able to do it!' he exclaimed in joy between eager kisses.

The new place was slightly larger than Dormé's former residence and was in a nicer area of the city, closer to her work. There were even guards at each level. 'Definitely safer and cleaner too,' she surmised.

'We'll never have to worry about break ins again,' he said eagerly.

'And look—' Dormé grinned broadly as she pointed with her free hand to the larger bed. 'No more issues with falling on the floor!'

'Wow this is huge!' he exclaimed eagerly as he flopped onto the bed. Anakin couldn't wait to try it out and grinned impishly to the thought as he tried to pull her onto the bed with him.

After returning to her former residence to pack things up and move, Dormé put the place up for sale and they were soon moving into their new place.

'Did you need to retrieve anything from your place—' she began, but cut herself short, knowing he didn't want to go back there. She knew the feeling all too well and wasn't about to pressure him into it. After all, she hadn't been back to Naboo since she first left.

Anakin faltered to her question and shook his head. He knew he couldn't return, returning mean never being able to leave again. 'It's just safer I don't,' he said simply in reply.

She nodded in understanding to his statement before lightening the conversation. 'We'll have to go shopping for you too, you know—' Dormé then got a message with translations for her to do. She already had work which meant income and this just added to her happy mood. It wouldn't be long before they would be married.

* * *

By the next morning, Anakin's comm was buzzing like mad, leaving Dormé to groan in protest as she tried on more than one occasion to fall back asleep. She was too happy to consider the possibility that it was the Jedi trying to politely get in contact with him another time before coming to retrieve him themselves.

'I just had the most—what the iquicha is that—' he groaned upon registering what it was and what it meant. Touching the Force Anakin immediately shut off the comm before deactivating it. Turning his attention to Dormé he sighed softly as his cheeks warmed.

'We'll just pretend that never happened,' he murmured before giving her an impish grin as he leaned in for a kiss.

Dormé didn't know who or what went ignored, but was hardly in a position to object, certainly not when Anakin was kissing her in the correct spot now. Her lips were far less ticklish than her stomach.

While Dormé returned his kisses and encouraged him to explore her form as she did much the same, Obi-Wan was on his way toward their new apartment. As loathed as he was to do so, he needed to take Anakin back to the Jedi Temple before suspicions would arise.

Though in the back of his mind he could sense his Master's approach, it was a distant thought that was easily buried under the heady rush of passion and love felt and shared in Dormé's arms.

Obi-Wan knew there was little time left before the Council would be asking him questions about his wayward Padawan. He had a vague notion of what was going on in the apartment building that he approached, but he didn't really want to know all of the details. He tried to reach to touch Anakin's thoughts, but the feelings exuding from Anakin caused him to stop for a moment. It was haltingly clear to Obi-Wan that this would not be an easy retrieval.

There were times in his own life that he had felt like Anakin did now, but he never gave into such passion. It wasn't the Jedi way and it was, for so many Jedi, a path to the dark side. He didn't want to consider what happened on their mission, and what all of this could turn into. He didn't want to allow himself to consider the possibilities. Anakin was the Chosen One, wasn't he? That's what Qui-Gon believed and Qui-Gon had never let him down.

The door chime went unnoticed just as the chirping of the commlink was ignored.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and reached out with the Force to open the door. He saw the clothing scattered about the floor and heard the noises of the pair from the bedroom. He was invading their privacy, but he knew he had to. Anakin had to leave with him. He was just a boy, a Padawan, and this was a mistake that wouldn't happen again.

'Anakin—'

Dormé, who was once so happy became confused. 'What—What just happened?'

'Obi-Wan! What—what the _echuta_ are you doing in our home?'

Obi-Wan wasn't prepared for the feeling of loss that came over him when he used the Force to separate them. 'Anakin, it's time to go.' It was the only way Anakin would listen to him, but something felt lost because of the interruption.

'What do you mean it's time to go I'm not going anywhere!' he blurted out as he moved back to Dormé and slipped his arms around her.

'I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion,' Obi-Wan said as he averted his eyes. His cheeks flushed from seeing the two of them together.

'Intrusion? What the _iquicha_ is your problem! Why are you always interrupting us?' Anakin snapped in agitation as he held onto Dormé for dear life.

'You have made a commitment to the Jedi Order, Anakin.'

'I've made a commitment to Dormé and I don't care what the Order thinks of it!' he pressed on.

'You have to go?' Dormé asked, her voice cracking from emotion. 'But why can't he just leave— he said he would—'

'She's right; I'm finished with the Jedi. This is my home now and she is soon to be my wife,' Anakin explained quietly.

Obi-Wan recalled Qui-Gon's words about the boy. 'You also promised your mother, didn't you?'

Dormé looked from Anakin to the Jedi Knight and back again. 'But we're going to be married—' Her eyes filled with tears.

'She would want me to be happy, Master. I know she would and I am happy, here with Dormé,' he explained. It was a pointless argument the Order once promised him freedom, but now it was all too clear to him that it was nothing more than just another form of slavery.

'You made a commitment to the Jedi first,' Obi-Wan argued. He didn't want to remove him by force, but he knew Anakin would come to understand why even if it took him a long time.

'You're not going to leave, are you,' Anakin whispered to Obi-Wan feeling his heart drop to the realization. His grip around Dormé tightened almost to the point of suffocation.

'I'm very sorry, but you can't get married, Anakin... We have to go.' He really wished Anakin hadn't made promises to this girl without considering the future.

'The Jedi have done nothing but enslave me! All they did was separate me from my family and now they are trying to separate me from the one I love! I won't have it!' he growled.

Obi-Wan shook his head.

Dormé inhaled sharply as his grip on her tightened. At the realisation that he was going to leave her came over her, Dormé began to cry. Everything was falling apart again and she felt more out of control than she ever had since first leaving Naboo. 'No! Don't go! Please don't go!'

His words fell upon deaf ears and Anakin shook his head as he clung onto Dormé. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening! 'No, I won't let you take her away from me; I won't let you do this! You can't do this! It's not fair!' he screamed as Dormé began to weep.

Tears came to his own eyes as his grip grew slack. With a heavy heart he released his grip on Dormé and bowed his head. He was dying, he couldn't say why or how he knew, Anakin just knew. The minute he reluctantly forced his arms to unravel themselves from Dormé's form, he felt his soul beginning to suffocate. If he turned his back on her now, he would die; it was as simple as that.

Almost as soon as his arms disentangled themselves from her, they were re-wrapping themselves around her once more. He couldn't do this, not to her, not to himself. Without her, Anakin was as good as dead. If they wanted their prophecy, they would have to accept his chosen one as well.

_She completes me Master. Please don't do this to us. I beg you don't do this. I will die without her. I swear to you I will fade away if I can't be with her. _Anakin pleaded into his Master's thoughts. He had no idea just how true his words were.

Obi-Wan felt entirely conflicted about this, though he knew what was right. It was then that Anakin's desperate plea entered his thoughts. Obi-Wan struggled to centre himself and he thought of the garden on the palace on Naboo.

Anakin was overreacting, he decided. He was now breaking this poor girl's heart because of his bad judgement. 'Anakin, let's go. Now.'

'No. My place is by her side. I need her Obi-Wan, and she needs me. Is that really such a bad thing?' he pleaded again. IT was a lost cause deep down he knew that but it didn't stop him from trying, albeit desperately to remain by Dormé's side.

'Your place is with the Jedi Order and you must come with me now,' Obi-Wan replied, picking up the discarded Jedi garb and handing it to him. 'Get dressed and say goodbye to her.

'I'm not a slave! Qui-Gon lied to me! You lied to me! I was told the Order was about knights and helping people! It's just nothing more than another form of slavery! You are slave masters!' he growled in rage as he yanked the clothes away from the Jedi Knight.

He tore into his clothes but did not leave Dormé's side. Her words tore at his heart and broke it at the same time. He was aware of his tears now and he clung onto her unable to hold them back.

'I love you, Dormé. I'm so sorry for this. I thought I was a freeman I was wrong, I'm sorry—I will return to you. I swear it, even if I have to fall to do it I will return to you,' he whispered fervently as his blue eyes met her amber gaze.

Dormé didn't bother getting dressed even as Anakin did so. 'Anakin, no, please don't—' Dormé sobbed, holding him tightly. 'I don't understand—why do you have to go?'

Anakin struggled to get into his garbs his thoughts filled with despair and sorrow. 'I don't want to do this, Dormé, but I have to. I'm—I'm theirs still apparently,' he hoarsely whispered. 'I'm coming back for you—I'm coming back I swear it,' he whispered in her ear before reaching out to touch her thoughts lest his master overhear.

_Tonight. I'll return tonight, wait for me._

Dormé tried to pull herself together, but it was so hard. It felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. His words in her thoughts calmed her down temporarily as she met his gaze, understanding his words.

With fierce devotion and determination, she closed her eyes and kissed him one last time before watching him depart with his master. It was hard not to hate the Jedi for this, but she was too overcome with despair over the events to hate anyone at that moment. Watching him leave was the most painful experience of her teen-aged life.

Obi-Wan tried not to let his Padawan's angry words affect him. He knew this was for Anakin's own good and that he would regret it later. It didn't make sense for him to run off with a girl at this age. They were both too young to know what they wanted in life, let alone know they wanted to be together forever. How would they support themselves? And Anakin was in his own way dangerous with his powers if he wasn't fully trained.

'Anakin, once you are knighted,' he began, even though he didn't wish to speak of the suggestion. 'Once you are no longer a padawan, the Council will have less say and if you were to—' He stopped himself short, not wanting to make suggestions that went against the Order.

Obi-Wan's words caused him to falter and Anakin turn to him with hope riddled all over his features. 'I can leave once I'm knighted? When will that be? Am I close?' he stammered out in hopeful tones praying that it would be soon.

'Dormé is my life, Master. She is all I've ever wanted, all that I need. If becoming a knight is the only way I can be with her, then I will do it,' he answered sincerely.

As they departed, Anakin fell silent keeping to himself as he stared ahead forcing himself not to succumb to the powerful ache in his chest. Without her, Anakin knew he would die, if not literally certainly spiritually. She was without question his sole ray of light. He knew this was something Obi-Wan couldn't understand, nor did he expect him to understand. The thought made him strangely wistful as for a brief moment, he wondered if his brother would ever know the love he experienced with Dormé. At any other time, the thought would have made him laugh at the absurdity of it all; now it just left him feeling a sad. He hoped that one day Obi-Wan would, if only so he could know a glimpse of the joy Dormé and he shared through their love.

Obi-Wan admitted part of what he dared not to speak of. Though he believed in the Force and trusted in its mysterious ways, he also respected the elder Jedi and the decisions of the Council. He wanted Anakin to be able to make a wise decision at a more mature age. He knew Anakin still had a long way to go not only in his training, but also in his maturity. He felt that by the time he was knighted, he would understand the ways of the Force a little more clearly and be able to be more aware of what good he could do with his abilities. These were things he could not teach him overnight. 'Anakin, all these years we've spent together, I have felt you were not only a padawan to me but also my brother. If after you are knighted, you wish to make your own decision about your destiny, I want you to know that I will support your decision, even if that means leaving the Order and starting a new life.'

Anakin was startled by Obi-Wan's sincerity. Stunned, he looked to his brother feeling incredibly touched and humbled. This was a most unexpected turn of events and silently he studied the elder Jedi knight knowing that Obi-Wan meant every word. A hint of a sad smile crept into his features. At one time, he believed that there was nothing about the Jedi that he'd miss; now he knew this wasn't entirely the case. He would miss his surrogate brother more than he wanted to admit.

'When it comes time for me to leave—I'd like to keep in touch, if you'll let me,' he admitted quietly before falling silent for a moment as he stared ahead.

'I want our children to know their uncle—whenever we decide to have them of course,' Anakin added softly feeling suddenly older than his short sixteen years.

Obi-Wan watched Anakin carefully, examining his figure as he spoke. His aura was insistent and resolute as he explained his hopes for the future. At any other time, Obi-Wan would have easily dismissed this hope as a foolish one, made with ones emotions rather than rational thought, but the look in his eyes made Obi-Wan almost surprised, for it was as if Anakin were the Master and he the Padawan. But as quick as that moment came to pass, it was gone once again and Obi-Wan looked away, feeling quite confused by it all. Anakin had seemed so wise for his incredibly young years and Chosen One or not, Obi-Wan was perplexed by it. He said nothing further touching on the matter of Lady Dormé as they returned to the Temple.

Dormé, for her part, dressed quickly, without even bothering to do her hair as she fled the apartment and ran after Anakin. She couldn't let him leave, not without saying goodbye to him again, one last time. She ran barefooted out of the complex, out into the rising sunlight of the late morning and cried out to him, 'ANAKIN!'

The pair of Jedi stopped and Obi-Wan studied the girl with her hair flowing freely behind her. 'My love,' he heard her gasping as she threw her arms about his Padawan. He watched as she touched his cheek and kissed him slowly. He was surprised that he was not embarrassed by this; in fact was was enthralled by her, though not in a sexual way. It was something about her aura that he could not pinpoint. She wasn't Force sensitive by any means, but she wasn't like the many others who could not touch the Force. Obi-Wan watched on in awe, unable to take his eyes off the sight. Under normal circumstances, he would have averted his eyes out of respect, but he was held captivated. It wasn't until she pulled back to speak to Anakin that he was released from the spell.

Anakin's eyes softened to her words as he gave a sad smile. Anakin had no intention of making this his last visit with his beloved.

Dormé smiled, though there was a sadness lingering in her eyes as she spoke to him. 'I couldn't let that be the last you ever saw of me, crying like that. Take care of yourself,' she said before turning to the elder Jedi. 'Take care of him for me.'

Obi-Wan could only nod in acceptance of her words.

Dormé touched Anakin's cheek and kissed him again before making her way back indoors.

_I will be back my love. I swear it._ He whispered into her thoughts though outwardly he nodded as he touched her cheek again and readily returned her kiss. The young padawan didn't move until Dormé was out of sight and even then he remained steadfast for a moment or two.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - Ferus discovers Anakin's secret and Anakin's impatience leads to rash decisions.


	9. A Marriage

Ferus was hardly happy with the situation he found himself in upon return to the Jedi Temple. The only thing he could think about was the fact he was responsible for another Padawan's death. Even if he had the best intentions in mind when he fixed her ligthsaber, he still felt incredibly guilty about her death.

The only thing else he thought of was the girl, Dormé, and her kind words to him. He didn't want to be here with the other Jedi anymore. In truth, he was thinking about running away. At the same time, he wondered what Dormé would think about it, if he were to run away. What would she think about him if he did?

Dormé, for her part, spent the better part of the day unpacking and going through her minimal belongings. The afternoon and evening was spent going over translations so that she could start saving up once more, with the intention of eventually marrying Anakin. She wondered how long it would be before they would see each other again.

Upon hearing the noise in the hallway, Ferus peaked out of his quarters to see Anakin slipping off. He wondered how far he would be able to go before Anakin would notice that he was being followed.

Obi-Wan sensed his Padawan's departure but had every confidence that Anakin would return by morning.

Anakin did his best to be as silent about his escape as possible. The hour was late and he was confident that most were either in meditations, sparring or resting. So lost was he in his eagerness to see Dormé that Anakin didn't realise that he was being tracked.

The streets were bustling, they always were at this time of night but Anakin wasn't drawn to the glitter and flashing lights -not tonight- his heart was elsewhere and his footsteps ever determined carried him straight away to their new home.

Ferus followed until Anakin reached the apartment building. He didn't need to enter to know where he was headed and who he was going to see. The rising feeling of jealousy was hard to put aside, especially when he had wanted to speak to Dormé himself. As a teenager, it was even harder to ignore the rising jealousy because Ferus knew her heart belonged to Anakin and Anakin's belonged to her in return. It took him awhile, but forced himself to turn away and return to the temple. However, he kept the location of Dormé's apartment in mind for later.

He beamed upon feeling Dormé's Force signature and was soon rushing inside. He could sense something to slightly off and promptly realised it was because she hadn't eaten. Concerned and feeling guilty for it Anakin swiftly sought her out. He hoped to convince her to at least have a little something to eat, although in truth he wasn't much better himself as the events of the day had stolen his appetite.

With an impish grin he tried to sneak up on her as she worked on her translations. Once he was close enough he slipped his arms around her and kissed her cheek before whispering into her ear.

'Told you I'd return!'

Dormé was so entirely caught up in her translations that she didn't notice the door opening or the sneaky Jedi's entrance. She jumped when his arms went around her but the kiss and the sound of his voice made her heart leap in joy.

Her surprise made having to wait all day to see her entirely worth it and Anakin burst out laughing when she jumped. 'I must do that more often!' he crowed in amusement.

She leapt from her chair, leaving her work behind as she spun around. Grinning she hugged him tightly before giving him a kiss. 'I've missed you so much!'

Her smile and tight embrace was entirely welcomed, her kiss even more so. Eagerly he returned it as he sighed in relief, he felt as though he had been holding his breath the entire day. 'Oh my love—it feels like an eternity since we last saw each other,' he murmured as he gave her a squeeze.

Though Dormé was entirely happy that he returned, she was also reminded of his abrupt departure. 'Do you have to leave again?' she asked, her heart full of hope and concern. Even though it would hurt to hear the words, she needed to know for her own sake. Parting from Anakin would only hurt worse if she were caught unprepared again.

His expression fell. Anakin didn't want to leave but knew it had to be done. Holding onto the words spoken to him by his brother, the young padawan kept the belief that one day he'd become a knight and could finally leave. Until then he would have to return to the temple, if only to sneak away from it by nightfall. 'I have to in the morning, but I'll just return every night. It will be like having a day job or something,' he assured Dormé as he gave her a squeeze.

'Every night?' Dormé asked, her eyes lighting up at the possibility. His assurances filled her with joy and she gasped.

'Obi-Wan says that once I'm a knight, I'll be able to decide what I want to do. The Council will be more lenient I think what his words about my future! Which means I can leave the Order for good!' he added quickly. He just wished he knew when he would be knighted so he could tell her when he'd be able to finally return home and never have to leave. But this wasn't the only good news and upon hearing Dormé admit that she'd be able to get them a marriage license Anakin's heart soared.

'That won't be long then, right? I mean, you'll be a Knight soon, won't you?' She thought more of the freedom that of the title.

'I hope so. I've been working hard and I'm going to keep on working to be the best padawan I can be. The better I look in their eyes the better my chances at becoming a knight,' he explained in hopeful tones.

Dormé cupped his face in her hands. 'I already think you're the best Padawan and Jedi,' she said, giving him a kiss. 'It's only a matter of time before everyone sees it.'

Anakin bit his lip at her words feeling his cheeks warm to her assurances. He wished the other Jedi shared her view and instinctively tightened his embrace around her. 'I hope so,' he murmured softly.

'Good news is I could afford a marriage license after being paid for this translation...' she said cheerfully, not caring how much else she would have to sacrifice if she didn't get another job soon after using the incoming credits.

'So that means we can be married soon... Maybe there's a way to put it on a tab...so that I could pay later, after it's already set—' Dormé thought aloud.

'You mean it? I mean we can do this still? Even though I wasn't able to sell the ship? Oh what if we do it like a loan! Kinda like the one we did for our house!' Anakin exclaimed unaware that loans though similar, were quite different from mortgages.

'Something like that,' Dormé replied, giving him another kiss. 'I'm not sure how but I'll be doing everything I can to find out. But do you think it would be better to wait until you're a Knight? I don't want you to get in trouble because of me—'

'I can't get into trouble for doing something they won't know about right?' Anakin said with an impish grin. 'After all it's not like I plan on telling them until after I'm a knight. That way I can't get into trouble and they won't try to stop me from seeing you,' Anakin explained deciding this idea was his finest yet.

She spoke of getting married and her concerns. 'So we couldn't tell anyone...until you're a knight.' Her expression fell. 'Why is this so unfair? I want everyone to know.'

He couldn't blame Dormé for her disappointment and sighed softly. 'If they find out we'll never be able to see each other again, I can't risk that,' he said softly. He smiled at her words feeling his excitement rising once more as Dormé spoke of their plans.

'Either way, you and I are married, aren't we, at least in our hearts,' Dormé murmured. It would just be awhile before they could share their joy with others.

She wondered, in her heart, why they couldn't just pack up and run away together. Since he didn't suggest it, she kept quite as she returned to the matter at hand. 'I will investigate tomorrow into getting some type of loan for the license and see how we can do it without anyone knowing.'

* * *

Despite the time spent at the temple Anakin always found a way to escape to see his beloved. Anakin also found time to create little surprises for his beloved, most of which were little trinkets and knick-knacks, things to help make her life a little easier. They performed different small tasks such as doing laundry and dishes enabling Dormé to be able to do other things she would much rather be doing.

Dormé too always had wonderful little surprises for him and Anakin never ceased to look forward to whatever she had waiting for him. In the end, however it was Dormés presence he desired most and today was no different.

Though it took a bit more work than she expected, she was final able to acquire another loan so that they could afford a marriage license. This was her gift to him this evening.

Dormé was so eager to tell him the good news that she couldn't help telling a few people, though she was careful not to say his name.

Upon arriving to their home Anakin burst inside as he called Dormé's name. It wasn't hard for him to find his beloved and soon he was puling her into his arms and greeting her with a most passionate kiss. 'Oh my love, I've missed you so much!' he breathed in relief and joy. With a grin he then offered Dormé his latest creation. 'Surprise! I hope you like it! I know we can't always go to the holo-films so I thought I'd bring htem to you instead. It also can read holo-novels if you like too!' he rambled before catching himself and blushing as he gave it to her to examine.

Before she had a chance to spill her good news, he showed her his gift. 'It plays holos—?' she asked as he explained. 'This is so neat! I can't wait to try it out! But first, I have to tell you—We can get married! Finally! Isn't it great? I got the loan this morning and I've been waiting all day just to tell and I'm so excited!' she spat out quickly in her eagerness.

'We're going to be married!' he cried out as he picked her up and twirled her around in excitement. 'Dormé it's really going to happen! We're finally going to be married and soon everyone will know that we are meant to be!'

Dormé was jumping in her excitement as she gave him a squeeze. 'Let's go there now! Do you want to go now?'

Anakin drew Dormé in for another kiss and at her suggestion he blushed feeling conscious of his appearance. 'You sure I'd be okay going like this I mean? I really don't know anything about the rituals or stuff they won't mind I'm in Jedi clothes-'

'Oh—' she touched her hair which had quite fallen out of its braid. 'I should probably fix my hair first—' she said, giggling.

Dormé spoke of her hair falling out and Anakin couldn't help but notice just how beautiful she looked in that moment. Her cheeks were rosy with joy while her freckles danced to her smile. Her amber eyes were filled with a love that she had never known till they met but had given so freely. His heart raced and for a moment he could only stare.

'May I?' he finally breathed as she spoke fixing her hair. His fingers gingerly reached out to touch the long dark locks that now rested teasingly against her cheeks.

She was a little too concerned with her own appearance to realise that Anakin really ought to change into something else to hide the fact he was a Jedi. His suggestion of braiding her hair made her cheeks light up. The way he was looking at her made her knees weak.

Dormé let out a gasp unintentionally as his fingers danced through her hair. 'Yes,' she whispered, giving him the permission he requested.

Anakin loved the way her silken hair felt between his calloused fingers, the gentle scent of water flowers and the way her Force signature intermingled and weaved with his own. He felt both honoured and humbled by the chance to do this and even more awed at the fact that soon he would be able to do this as often and as much as he wanted.

Her eyes naturally closed as he began weaving his fingers through her hair, grazing over the back of her neck and slowly working their way down her back. When he had finished, she turned to face him and was soon drawing him in for a kiss.

The simple gesture held far more weight for Anakin than he initially realised. His fingers weaving the strands of Dormé's felt unnaturally light, in fact the young padawan felt as though it wasn't his hands that was twisting Dormé's hair. Nor was it Dormé's dark locks that he was weaving. It was as though their souls were touching, intertwining, becoming woven from two separate entities into one.

Dormé could almost see him braiding her hair as though looking through a mirror. the concentrated look so careful and full of love, but also peaceful... When she met his eyes, she he would hold her heart for the rest of their lives, even though she was only fourteen.

Only when his fingers reached the bottom of her long hair was Anakin able to breathe. As Dormé faced him he felt as though he were seeing her through new eyes. It didn't make any sense and yet it made perfect sense. When she spoke the moment was lost and forgotten leaving Anakin to return to his state of excitement and elation.

'I love you,' she said sincerely, touching his cheek before taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. 'Now let's get married!' She grinned at him eagerly.

He beamed at Dormé and gave her hand a squeeze back. 'I love you too my beautiful wife!' Anakin exclaimed before adding with an impish grin. 'All right, but you have to lead the way because I have no idea where I'm going!'

'It won't take long to get there. I actually walked on the way back, since it was less expensive to walk. I think this moment warrants taking a transport though, don't you?' She was so full of energy, that she exclaimed, 'I think I could walk the whole planet tonight! I'm so excited.'

Anakin wished he had taken his speeder when he had come by to see Dormé but knew if he had the Jedi would have been even more aware of his absence. However as much as he didn't mind walking to their destination Anakin was grateful that Dormé was just as eager to be married and he grinned to her suggestion they take a transport. 'Whatever gets us there fastest I'm definitely all for,' he exclaimed as he gave her a squeeze. 'I can't believe this is finally happening, we're finally going to be married!' Anakin said before giving Dormé a quick but loving kiss.

She remained close to him during the entire transport ride and when they got off she was practically pulling him into the small temple. 'They said it would be about this many credits,' she said to the shaman at the entrance. 'We'd like to be married now, if that's all right.'

The religion of the temple was unknown to him but Anakin could tell by the images that decorated the walls that this was a place that would openly welcome the Jedi and their beliefs in the Force. There was also something incredibly familiar about the paintings that reminded him of another time and place though he couldn't say why.

'I don't think that would be any trouble. Please wait a moment for the high priest to do your handfasting.'

The shaman's words confused him and Anakin looked to Dormé as though hoping she knew what the woman was talking about. 'Handfasting? What's that?' he whispered to Dormé.

The ceremony made little sense to Anakin who was unfamiliar with the marriage traditions. However it didn't really matter to him either as all he knew was that the words exchanged would forever mark him as Dormés and Dormé as his own. It was hard not to break from the ceremony to kiss Dormé's lips though it didn't stop him from grinning from ear to ear as he stared into her amber eyes.

A bell rang out and they were taken into a smaller room where the high priest greeted them in a friendly fashion and walked them through the ceremony. Dormé didn't remember what they said to each other, for she was too caught up in Anakin's blue eyes.

Once the words were exchanged Anakin immediately pulled her into a passionate kiss feeling as though everything was as it should be with the universe.

Anakin eagerly lost himself in Dormé's embrace as the entire universe faded away leaving only each other to enjoy. This was the happiest day of his life and Anakin knew he would cherish it forever. The shaman and high priest attempted to buy them some time but in the end it wasn't possible. They tried to warn the young couple of the unexpected company, but only when the Jedi used the Force to yank Anakin away did reality descend upon him.

Unfortunately, before they were even able to set foot outside of the temple, two Jedi had arrived to collect Anakin. Dormé cried out in shock when Anakin was ripped from her with the Force. It wasn't the first time she had experienced it, but it was far from pleasant.

She looked to Anakin in confusion and was soon at his side once more, in spite of the Jedi's efforts to separate them. They didn't even address or look at Dormé as they spoke, but directed all of their attention to Anakin, their Chosen One, whatever that meant.

This was not happening again...

All conscious thought fled his mind as he drew his lightsaber and instinctively removed one of the Jedi's hands, believing they were being attacked. He caught himself just in time before striking again. The padawan stared at them in disbelief before a harsh laugh escaped his lips as he smirked at them. 'You're too late! You're too damn late! We're married you stupid _echutas_!' he snapped as he moved to Dormé's arms.

The Jedi barely had a chance to register the change in the young Padawan's Force signature to react to his attack. The Jedi whose hands were severed cried out in pain as one of his companions sought to heal and lessen the pain until they could have their hands replaced.

'She's my wife and you will not keep us apart again!' Anakin growled. They didn't acknowledge his words and as one tended to the others wounds the third spoke to him. Anakin just cursed and spat in anger refusing to leave and demanding to speak to his Master.

Dormé was frightened by the whole ordeal and returned swiftly to Anakin's side, fearing the older Jedi who were intent on taking her beloved away from her again. She was more afraid than angry, for she couldn't stand the idea of never being able to see Anakin again and was afraid of what the consequences would be now that the Jedi were aware of their forbidden marriage.

'You are a Padawan under the tutelage of Master Kenobi, Skywalker,' the eldest of the Jedi representatives said in a clear, calm voice. 'As you are not yet a Knight, you are unable to make these decisions without approval of the Council and you know what they would say about attachments.'

'You have no right! We're legally married they can show you our data! Dormé is mine and I'm hers you can't do this! I don't give a _iquicha_ about your stupid rules! You take her from me and I swear to you I will join the Sith!' he hissed as he clung onto Dormé for dear life.

Dormé looked between them all, unsure what to make of it. 'Please don't punish him for this. It was my idea; I pressured him into marrying me—'

They knew she was lying and it didn't make them think any more highly of her for it.

'I don't care if he's a Jedi—I love him,' Dormé said in pleading tones.

But the Jedi would not back down, nor leave without the teenaged Padawan.

'Anakin—' Dormé begged, feeling her heart once more being torn asunder.

The Jedi Knights found themselves unable to do much save touch the Force to render Anakin into a state of deep sleep. It was the only way to pry him out of Dormé's arms.

'Learn to let go, you must,' Yoda pronounced as Anakin was taken in front of the Council.

Anakin's dreams were filled with darkness and death.

Obi-Wan stood dutifully at his Padawan's side as they took him away, feeling as though he personally could have done something to prevent this.

* * *

Upon hearing about Anakin's escapade, Ferus was even more adamant about seeing Dormé and talking to her about his own plans for leaving the Order. That evening he stole away into the night, arriving at Dormé's apartment.

Dormé thought it was Anakin at first but caught herself before enveloping the unprepared Jedi Padawan in a tight hug. 'Ferus?' she asked.

Ferus cleared his throat and awkwardly stepped inside. 'Hi, Dormé,' he said.

'What brings you here? I thought—Did something happen to Anakin?' She was now extremely concerned, thinking that something awful had happened to her beloved. 'Please tell me he's all right—'

'He's fine—I actually didn't come here to talk about Anakin, well not exactly...' he said, his voice wavered slightly due to his nerves.

'I don't understand,' Dormé said, looking at him in confusion as she went to sit down on the couch.

Ferus nodded and sat across from her. 'The truth is, I don't feel that it's my place to stay with the Jedi anymore and it's not because of a girl or anything...not really.. It's because I don't think I have what it takes to remain...not after—after what happened...'

Dormé was stunned by this news, but even more so at the reasons Ferus gave. She briefly wondered if he had had feelings for the girl who died and her heart went out to him. At the same time, she wasn't sure what the situation was with Anakin. She selfishly wanted Ferus to remain if not more than to watch out for Anakin for her. 'Anakin wants to leave too, but the more he tries, the more they keep reeling him back in,' she replied. 'It's not fair... I don't think they will just let you go...at least not until you're made a proper Knight. It's like it's their criteria for you being an adult and being able to make your own decisions.' She shrugged.

'I can imagine Anakin's feeling the same way I am,' Ferus said. 'I haven't told anyone about this.'

'Maybe you should talk to Anakin,' Dormé suggested.

Ferus shrugged. 'I don't know. Maybe.' He rose to his feet. 'Thanks for letting me talk to you.' He was now visibly embarrassed once more as though she were the first girl he had ever spoken to.

'No worries. You can talk to me anytime,' Dormé replied, also rising to her feet and bidding him goodnight. She didn't think she would be able to get any sleep tonight as she thought of Anakin and prayed that he was all right.

As the days went on and Anakin was sent off on a mission far away from Coruscant, Ferus inevitably went to spend more time speaking to Dormé, seeking her advice and kind words to fill a sort of empty void that was in his heart ever since Korriban.

In the end, it was Dormé's innocent request that persuaded him to remain with the Jedi. If he could repay her kindness in any way, it would be to stay with the Jedi to watch over Anakin.

'I can't be there for him, but you can,' she said softly, her voice filled with emotion.

'I understand. I will not fail you,' Ferus solemnly replied before bowing and leaving her apartment.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - Obi-Wan tries to persuade the Council in Anakin's favour whilst Palpatine does his own sort of persuading..._  
_


	10. A Lie

The Jedi Council's attempt to make Anakin forget about Lady Dormé were far from successful and it took all of Obi-Wan's patience to explain their reasoning. It was difficult indeed to speak of the Jedi's view of sexual relations to Anakin when Anakin was of the mindset that he was still married to the girl.

'...which is viewed as a selfish kind of love, when one can love all things equally...rather than being so consumed it leads to jealousy and hatred, paths to the dark side...'

Whatever persuasion the Council used, Obi-Wan still overheard Anakin recording messages for Dormé whenever he had the chance. But going along with the Council's orders, neither he nor Anakin spoke of the girl again.

It wasn't long after that Anakin was sent out on missions that carried him far from Coruscant. Though he wasn't the brightest boy, Anakin knew what it meant and knew it was their way of dissuading him from seeing Dormé. Had he not been so miserable about it, Anakin would have been amused at their pathetic attempts. As if a few missions that ensured he encountered beautiful women would distract him! He was married and she was the only one who held his heart. None of the beauties his colleagues encouraged him to enjoy were _her_.

When he could, Anakin would sneak messages to his beloved and he also sent credits to help with her bills and loans. Though he wasn't permitted a job, Anakin was resourceful and knew how to make the most out of scrap metal and parts of ships. It wasn't much, but it was something and he hoped that it would help.

Tonight the Chancellor summoned him saying he had an urgent message for him. Anakin dutifully accepted the invitation feeling both curious and concerned. He could tell by the Chancellor's voice and emotions that something terrible had happened.

'Sit down my boy. What I'm about to tell you won't be easy to take.'

Anakin did as he was told and tried to resist the urge to touch the Chancellor's thoughts. In the end, it didn't matter as the elder man continued without waiting for Anakin to start questioning him.

'It has been brought to my attention that you were married. I had no intention of prying into private matters, but upon learning that neither you nor your wife have been informed of what they have done, I thought it was only fair—'

'Done what? Who did what?' Anakin stammered feeling his heart clench in concern and fear.

The elder man's expression turned from troubled to sorrowful as he paused. It was as though he struggled to find the words to continue. 'Your marriage has been annulled. The Order saw it fit to end it and thus completed the necessary procedures to finish it. As of today, you are no longer married.'

The news that Palpatine told him finally wore Anakin down and eradicated him of his final hopes of ever escaping his new masters. Though he continued to send Dormé messages and credits, Anakin became more discreet about it. He also learnt not to speak of her to anyone anymore and even took to going out with some of the other Jedi anything to paint the image that he was a normal young padawan.

Yet every night when he found himself alone, Anakin would plot his revenge. If the Jedi would not allow him to be free, then perhaps the Sith would. He was through with the games and with the empty promises of the light side. Dormé was his light; and if he could not be with her, then Anakin would follow the dark instead.

Tonight he had finally returned home to Coruscant and already his thoughts were on sneaking a visit to his former wife and beloved. He didn't dare risk sending a message to Dormé as that could be traced, instead he waited until it was dark and took to slipping off as he always used to in days of old. Only now he was using the dark side to cloak himself, a difficult trick he had learnt when he thought his master was unaware of his actions.

It wasn't long before he was approaching Dormé's quarters and chiming at her door before using the Force to slip inside. His heart raced in joy at the prospect of seeing her again and he could almost taste her lips against his own, while feeling the warmth of her body in his arms.

The fifteen-year-old was up late working on applications for new jobs, which she hoped would garner a higher level of income and keep her distracted enough during the day not to dwell on the fact that her beloved was far away. Nursing a glass of vitawater as she completed the answers to the application's asinine questions, she was startled at the chime. She nearly spilled the cup of water all over the datapad.

Anakin twirled her around feeling the warmth of her arms around him and feeling more alive than he had in a very long time. It was easy to forget about the horrible news he had received that fateful day to imagine they were still husband and wife.

Dormé jumped to her feet and rushed into his arms. 'Anakin!'The last thing on her mind was the applications she had started. There would be time enough for that later.

Dormé kissed him deeply, holding onto him so tightly her arms ached. 'How are you? How have you been since your last message? I've missed you!' she exclaimed before kissing him again in earnest.

He chuckled to her words and hungrily returned her kiss. 'It's been too long. I was beginning to fear that I'd only see you in my dreams!' Anakin murmured before kissing her once more as his fingers deftly began to remove Dormé's gown. Details and news could wait till later, for now all he desired and longed for was the loving warmth of her touch and the passionate kisses that always left him longing for more.

Dormé was of the same mind as Anakin and there were hardly enough words to ever express how much she missed him and how much she loved him. No holomessage could compare to the feeling of his arms around her, his lip pressed against her own.

Time held no meaning for her until she came down from the rush and height of emotions ebbing and flowing between them. Lying in their mutual embrace, Dormé took in every feature of her husband as she caught her breath. Her fingertips followed her eyes, as though she were amazed that he was truly here with her, that it wasn't a dream.

As the fires of their passions calmed to a peaceful state of bliss Anakin found himself once more holding his beloved near and wishing that just once he'd wake up and not have to rush back to the temple. Or that their marriage was now non-existent. Dormé studied him intently making Anakin feel nothing like the awkward boy he was but something so much greater, so much more complete.

He leaned into her touch and gingerly began to return the favor as though putting Dormé's image and her touch to memory. Her skin glistened with the sweat, and her hair was tussled but her eyes shone and there was a glow about her that wasn't there before. Dormé looked every bit the queen he had dreamed of during their time apart. His fingers continued to lovingly explore her skin trailing over her freckles -his true weakness- before he met her gaze noting her cheeks flushing. A smile soon crept into his features as well as he caressed her freckled cheek.

His Padawan braid weaved effortless through her fingers as she continued to take his appearance in. She noticed the slight differences, the small scars on his shoulders and his arm, the hardening of the callouses on his hands. She noted the way his jaw was still growing, how his brow was broadening, and Dormé could almost picture what he would look like in a few year's time.

Though she had been studying him intently, she eventually realised she had been doing so and blushed, smiling at him as her expression softened. Dormé then pulled him closer so that her head rested on his chest as she hugged him tightly and sighed with contentment.

'I never want to forget this moment,' he murmured as she pulled him closer. Holding her near, Anakin kissed her brow as his fingers ran through her fingers the way hers had only moments ago. Though he knew he had to tell her about what had happened, Anakin couldn't bring himself to. Just because his dream had been destroyed didn't mean Dormé's had to be as well. Once he left the Jedi, he would tell her then and together they would have their revenge. For now, all he wanted was peace and she gave it to him in the only way he truly desired it -through her love.

The dreams were peaceful; there were no bodies of the dead, no burning fires, no blades or lightsabers, which were the usual nightmares he was beginning to experience but never could understand. Instead, Dormé was there and so were the faceless images of their children-so many of them! Together they played about in gardens chasing birds and smelling flowers before wrestling in the grass. Anakin awoke much later to the warmth of Dormé's arms and though he knew he would have to leave he couldn't bring himself to part ways with her just yet. She was his sanctuary and he couldn't bear having to face the galaxy again knowing that this time could be the last.

In the morning, as soon as she finished eating, Dormé decided that Anakin's lap was far more comfortable than a chair.

With his fingers running through her dark hair and her arms wrapped around him, it was easy to forget that he was due back to the temple at any time

Making herself comfortable, she said, 'You have to tell me everything you've been up to since your last message—it was so short, but you know I saved them all. They're over there in a stack.' She gestured to the small table in the corner.

Her words sent a chill down his spine and for a moment Anakin faltered as he was reminded of the last time they had spoken. It had been just before he learnt of what the Jedi had done. Though he knew he should speak of it, Anakin couldn't bring himself to do so. He didn't want to ruin this moment for them and a part of him still didn't want to believe that it was true. That the dream was over…

Dormé was oblivious to his slight hesitation, for she was too happy to have him here even if it was for only a short time. She wanted to spend all day chatting with him, kissing him, being held by him, and even the briefest of embraces and conversations would have to last her until the next time she saw him.

'I have all your notes too, and images—which reminds me! I'm working on making a holo-recorder for us,' he said with an impish grin. 'So we can record ourselves for when we have to be away.' It was pretty clear the sort of videos he intended on making and was already looking forward to catching Dormé in the shower or sleeping. Anything to get a glimpse of her freckles and that smile…

'You brought a gift? See, now you should have said something earlier! We could have recorded some earlier...although you will have to show me what it does and how to work it...' Dormé knew she would have little luck using it without rudimentary instructions.

Anakin beamed as he lifted her into his arms and carried her back to the couch where his satchel rested nearby. 'Of course! I've already made some for you!' he admitted proudly before poking his tongue back out at her as he gave Dormé a wink.

'And how to get some of you as well, because it's only fair,' she added, poking her tongue out at him.

'It's in here,' he explained as he set her down onto the couch and removed the contraption from the bag. 'It's easy to use too all you have to do is tell it when to record and where it should go!' Activating it Anakin then instructed the machine -as it flew about making little sputtering noises- to record Dormé and him. With an impish grin, he drew Dormé in for a passionate kiss.

For a time Dormé was his entire universe and Anakin basked in her glory finding passion and peace in ways he couldn't hope to explain. It would be some time later when he would return to a blissful state of reality with Dormé's body still intertwined with his own. Somehow they ended up on the floor with cushions and pillows strewn about though Anakin couldn't remember how that happened.

Holding her near he was about to kiss her lips when he heard the machine chime marking that it was time to recharge itself. Snickering he glanced back to it before turning his attentions back to Dormé.

'I think it needs to recharge itself,' Anakin said between laughter. 'I guess it's had enough of us!' he joked before ordering it to shut down lest it drop and be broken. Gracefully it landed onto the floor before entering recharge mode.

Dormé giggled, only then reminded of the machine's presence. 'I'll bet it got quite a view!' She took a nearby pillow and whacked Anakin with it. 'I didn't even remember that it was there!'

Unfortunately for the pair, Anakin's presence was missed at the meeting he was supposed to attend. Despite all of their efforts to get the young Padawan to explore the other options available to him, Anakin had not used other outlets for his needs. Ferus would have tried to cover for him, but it wouldn't have done any good. Instead, he was asked to retrieve Anakin, a task he was loathed to attempt. However, Ferus also didn't mind seeing Lady Dormé again and with this in mind, he headed to the apartment complex.

No one answered the door, though Ferus really hadn't expected them to. Their collective emotions were enough to make him blush and shift uncomfortably outside the door. He waited for what seemed like hours, not wanting to interrupt them, despite the Council's insistence that he return with Anakin shortly.

However, when he was certain he was in the clear, at least not interrupting, this overwhelming sense of peace came over him and he hesitated. He wasn't certain why, but he didn't want to intrude, instead he wanted to be close to this peace.

Ferus unwittingly slipped into meditation with ease before being startled with the sound of something crashing inside the apartment. It was this that gave him the courage to enter, unannounced.

The sight before him caused him to stare momentarily before forcing his eyes to look away. 'Anakin, we have to go now. I'm sorry, both of you. I wish there was another way.'

'How in the blazes did you get in here?' Anakin balked as he turned to face his friend in obvious confusion and annoyance.

'Through the door,' Ferus answered sardonically.

'Ferus for _iquicha_ sakes can't you come back later? We're busy in case you haven't noticed,' he snapped hardly appreciating the interruption.

'I'm sorry—I'm not looking, I promise—' he insisted, waving a hand as he kept his eyes on the floor.

Anakin frowned hardly believing a word Ferus said as he glared at him. 'I bet you weren't,' he sniffed before collecting his clothes. So much for his hope that he would have been forgotten at the meetings.

Dormé sadly resigned herself to the truth: that Anakin needed to go, lest there be another confrontation. The worst-case scenario would be that she would never have a chance to ever see him again. For that reason, Dormé slipped on a robe and approached Ferus, resting a hand on his arm. 'Thank you for coming...instead of...you know...' She knew that it could have been worse for them and she was thankful that it was their friend instead of Council members.

'So what am I stuck having to attend now?' he groused as he began to put on his clothes. 'Please tell me it's not anything boring or long!'

Ferus shrugged to Anakin's questions. 'You missed the meeting, so maybe a new mission? They weren't exactly keen on filling me in on all the details.'

The thought of returning to the temple reminded him of the news he should have shared with Dormé but couldn't. Now certainly wasn't the time and Anakin had a feeling that the next time they saw each other wouldn't be either.

Approaching Dormé he slipped his arms around her as he gave a soft sigh. 'I'm sorry I have to go, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can escape,' Anakin said with a wink before leaning in to give Dormé a kiss good-bye that she'd never forget.

* * *

There would be many notes exchanged, many holo-recordings, and sneaked messages during their time apart. Each time they were together, Dormé would notice the small differences in his appearance or behaviour, all of which were quirks she loved about him.

And once it neared their third anniversary of their marriage, which Dormé recognised faithfully each year, seventeen-year-old Dormé eagerly awaited the arrival back to Coruscant of her beloved one. This time, she heard that he would be here for a week, a blessing that she could not have imagined.

The message from Ferus was brief, but it seemed that he was just as excited about returning to Coruscant as Anakin was. He also admitted that he saw part of one of her messages to Anakin and nearly got a sound beating for it, as innocent as the bit he saw was.

'You were just reading a holonovel or something and he spun out of control like I was trying to get up your skirt again, like what happened on Korriban!'

Dormé laughed as she played the message, shaking her head. Soon Anakin would be home and she couldn't have been happier. She set about making a wonderful meal for him to partake him, including her newest dessert invention.

A thrilled Anakin puttered about on his ship building and creating more knick-knacks for his beloved. The holo-recorder was soon filled with images of him doing mundane things or silly things anything to make her smile. A small collection of holo-novels were collected as well along with some of his creations.

Bursting through the door -and almost running into it in his haste Anakin called out Dormé's name as he dropped his satchel and raced towards her. As soon as she was within reach his arms were tightly wrapping around her as he covered her in eager and hungry kisses. 'Oh Force how I've missed you, my love!'

'Happy Anniversary, Anakin! What a wonderful present to have to you home,' she sighed.

Anakin beamed and gave her a squeeze as he eagerly returned her kisses. 'I've missed you so much! I almost didn't believe it when they said we were going to have a week of shore leave! Isn't it great?' Anakin beamed as he laughed in joy.

'A whole week—if only it could be longer,' she mused as she took his hand and led him to the table.

'I only wished it was longer!' Anakin said with a wistful sigh. 'I can't wait for the day when I never have to leave,' he admitted.

'Close your eyes, well—you should sit down first and then close your eyes,' she instructed, giddy with anticipation.

'Close my eyes? Why what are you up to?' he asked with an impish grin. 'I have some surprises for you too you know!' he teased as he poked out his tongue before closing his eyes. Anakin couldn't wait to find out just what Dormé had in store for him.

'I'm not telling,' she teased, giving his cheek a kiss before skipping off to the kitchen where she took out the dessert. Even though it was before a proper meal, she couldn't wait to see what he thought of it. Anakin's surprises would have to wait until after he tried her concoction.

Anakin faked a pout as he closed his eyes before eagerly shifting about in his seat as he waited her return. 'Can't you give me a hint at least? A clue maybe? Oh come on Dormé! Please?' he begged before hearing her return and grinning eagerly like a little boy.

'It doesn't have a name yet, but I wanted you to try it first...' she explained before taking a bit in a spoon. 'Open up...' Dormé slipped the spoon gently into his mouth. 'What do you think? You can open your eyes now...' She giggled.

'Oh Force this is amazing! You invented this? I mean created it?' he asked as he opened his eyes and took it all in before diving in. 'This is the best dessert I've ever had!' Anakin exclaimed between eager bites.

'I was hoping you could give it a name; only if you like it of course.'

'I know there's a word for it. Obi-Wan would know he's good with words—maybe even Ferus but knowing he'd just call it "yummy" or something completely silly,' he said with a snicker.

'Well you better save some room for the rest of the meal too—before you eat the whole—oh nevermind!' She said, giggling when he finished the last bit of it. She kissed his cheek and went to get all the rest of their meal, including a small bottle of apsinthos for them to enjoy.

'Hey it's not my fault! It was too good to resist!' Anakin admitted. He realised in that moment that there was nothing that Dormé wouldn't readily give him even her life. In fact, even in the earliest days of their friendship, Dormé gave all that she had, all that she could. It was a sobering thought as Anakin wondered in all honesty if he could truly say the same of himself when it came to her.

* * *

The week went by too fast for Dormé's liking. Even though he was required to be at the Jedi Temple during the day, she had the joy of having him home at night, sometimes during the afternoon as well. She was able to reschedule her own appointments for work until after he was gone, which made everything even more enjoyable without the constraints of worrying about her own work.

Dormé believed it would not be long before he would be granted knighthood, for Ferus had become a knight. She didn't bring it up because they had some many other things to talk about, but in the back of her head, she was extremely hopeful about this, for it would mean the end of his requirements to the Jedi and the beginning of their lives together.

On their last evening together, Dormé taught Anakin how to make her new dessert, that he weaselled the ingredients out of her with many tickles. They also attempted to make dinner together though half of it ended up on the floor.

It was hard to believe their week had gone by so fast and Dormé was reluctant to remember that fact. She didn't want him to have to leave for the frontlines again.

Stealing away to private spots in the gardens or shopping for the ingredients for their meals was heavenly for Dormé and she loved walking all over the cityscape, holding his hand, laughing, and stealing kisses as though they truly were a couple and there were no restrictions placed on them.

Tonight was no different, but as their dinner wound down and the utensils were being washed, Dormé's thoughts returned to the brief moment when he first walked in the door that evening. The worry in his expression spoke volumes and it was only now that she mentioned it. 'Where are they sending you this time?'

'Ansion,' he admitted with a sigh. 'Just one more pointless planet and another pointless mission,' he added as he rolled his eyes.

'I've never heard of Ansion,' she admitted.

Anakin shrugged at Dormé's question before shaking his head. 'Nor have I until today.' Anakin couldn't wait till all of this was behind him, but was soon becoming distracted by Dormé's freckles and was slipping his arms around her as he leaned in to steal a kiss. 'But tonight is still ours and that's what really matters,' he purred.

Time moved far too fast as the universe shifted in Anakin's mind so that there was only him and his beloved. Anakin couldn't guess how long they remained int eh heavens of their arms and truthfully couldn't care either. In this sanctuary Anakin couldn't care less if the galaxy went to the abyss.

Dormé didn't know how long it was before they lay sprawled on the bed, catching their breathes and she giggled. She didn't know why, but she couldn't help it.

Anakin sent her an amused look. 'What's so funny? Oh your laughing about our tumble to the floor aren't you? Well I'll have you know that wasn't my fault! How was I to know the bed had shrunk in size?' Anakin said before bursting into laughing as he tried to tickle her.

'Our tumble?' she giggled. 'That was all you, Anakin! I was just the first thing you grabbed onto and you took me with you! You know it's because you keep growing. This bed was large enough when we first moved in—at this rate, soon you'll look like a monster next to me—I don't think I've grown at all since then—' Dormé made little effort to dodge his sneaky fingers and was soon rolling with laughter.

It was nearly morning by the time they fell asleep. Dormé had planned on waking early to fix breakfast, but she was too warm and content in his embrace to budge. Breakfast was slapdash in comparison to the nice meals they had together while he was home. The pasta dish they made together was much better the second time around, because they chose a lighter sauce instead of a darker one that stained everything around them.

Even though she didn't need to, she helped him gather his things and put a few extra QuickSnacks in his utility belt. 'I hope the flight goes well and that you'll be able to contact me soon...' she said as she put his belt on for him. She offered him a smile, though her eyes held the sadness of their parting. How she longed to go with him!

Morning was far more serious though Anakin tried to make the most of their time together. Dormé too seemed content to enjoy the last of their time together. Her eyes however spoke the truth and they mirrored his eyes. Wrapping his arms around her Anakin pulled Dormé into a tight embrace and gave her a passionate kiss good-bye.

'I promise I will contact you as soon as I can, and then we'll watch holo-vids together!' he promised before whispering words of love.

* * *

A/N: Coming up –

The darkness was like a disease and the closer Ferus got to Anakin, the sicker he felt. It was like an overwhelming stench through the Force and he could barely stand it. Even facing Sith Lords wasn't as magnified as it was now in Anakin's presence. It was as though he embodied the very darkness himself.

_'What would Dormé say if she saw you right now?' Ferus shouted above the gathering storm._


	11. A Creature of Vengeance

Dormé's days did not go by without a thought of her husband, wanting to know that he was all right and wanting him to come home. But those who employed the young woman were not as forgiving of her week off as she had imagined they would be. She soon found herself out of a job and looking for new employment. Their home would end up paying the forfeit if she wasn't able to find other employment soon.

Hunting for another occupation took up her days and one of the last options was the Naboo government's appeal for skilled workers. She was loathed to have much to do with Naboo, let alone its government, but she couldn't deny the fact she needed the money, at least to be able to afford their home until such time that they could find other means of income.

Training soon began for Dormé as she was slowly inducted into the Naboo senator's entourage. Ladies Saché and Sabé were sent ahead of the senator to train the newest recruits and weed out those who would not be used as security, but could serve in other means. Dormé was trained mainly in defence and schooled in the senator's mannerism. However, she was not viewed or even suggested for future decoy detail. They already had two skilled decoys in place.

Even with everything else going on and the fact she would have to set up temporary quarters in the senator's apartment complex, Dormé still wondered why Anakin hadn't been able to contact her. It was at night, when she was alone with her thoughts, that she missed him the most.

Even though Saché's training could be brutal, it wasn't ruthless or without mercy. Dormé tried every day to live up to the expectations of the elder handmaidens, having never wanted to prove herself so much to another person in her entire life. She didn't know what it was, but something within her strove to be the best. In the end, it was Dormé who was chosen to join the ranks of handmaidens, where others were given different serving duties. She was unaware that her lack of noble heritage had not mattered to the elder handmaidens, that she had earned her position through her merits, until the arrival of some of the senators other loyal handmaidens that were sent ahead of the senator to prepare her residences for her arrival.

Dormé found the other handmaidens to be quite cruel, especially one named Moteé. Dormé had no idea why this girl was so particularly cruel. It wasn't just to Dormé for being low-class, but she found faults with almost everyone. It was rather annoying to say the least, but even more so when she turned the girl's invitations down to go to the clubs. Dormé didn't mind going, but had no interest in spending time with someone foul like Moteé. All she ever did was criticize other people.

Whenever Moteé mentioned Dormé's lack of suitors, she just laughed and shook her head, wishing she could brag about Anakin, but held her tongue. She knew that even if she told Moteé, she would have found something wrong about her marriage too. She decided she felt sorry for Moteé for having nothing better to do with her life than be cruel to others.

Dormé's skills with a blade improved rapidly, as though she had somehow accessed long-forgotten techniques of her ancestors. Even the elder handmaidens didn't withhold their observations, letting her know that they were impressed. It meant a lot to the young woman from Uriash, who never thought she would be serving as a member of an elite security force. It didn't matter to her anymore that it was for a senator or that it had to do with the Naboo government.

But at night, Dormé's dreams began to sour. Though she didn't remember them upon waking, they left her feeling downright disturbed and longing for her husband's return more than ever. She had a sinking feeling that something bad had or would happen and this made her want his support and reassurance even more. With all the new things in her life due to her new job, Dormé ignored slight feelings of illness. Though it was never enough to make her be sick, she was also becoming very tired at the end of the day. Dormé attributed this to the rigours of her new schedule and ignored it.

It wasn't until Dormé had a look at her calender, thinking about how long it had been since Anakin left and how long it had been since her last cycle that she began to consider the idea that she might be pregnant. The possibility was exciting and scary, but the excitement won over. She knew she couldn't tell anyone, lest they reconsider her new position, nor did she want to tell Anakin anything until she was certain, so Dormé kept this to herself. She made an appointment with a physician that was not used by the Naboo government, one that was closer to where she used to live on the other side of Coruscant. She thought it would be best that way, just in case anyone tried to get the information and use it against them. She was incredibly cautious about it because of the Jedi as well as her new employment. She didn't want to jeopardize all that Anakin and she had worked so hard for. However, the appointment wouldn't be until next week, which meant she would have to wait to find out if it was true. Dormé couldn't help hoping that it was.

* * *

Anakin hated Ansion. Everything about the place reminded him of everything he despised, everything he wanted to run away from, everything he wanted to resist and yet couldn't. He tried to make contact with Dormé, but the location made it impossible. Not even hisinventions couldhelp him make contact. Anakin was on his own and without Dormé as his conscience, the temptations returned and with it came the nightmares. Each one was worse than the last and each one filled with images of death and chaos, all by his hand.

Ferus was also hardly keen on going to Ansion, but he did enjoy spending time with Anakin. Although he used to be jealous about all the things Anakin would tell him about Dormé, after over three years of it, he was used to it now. He was grateful that Anakin was able to talk to him and hoped that whenever they were able to leave the Order, that he would be able to talk to Anakin about a girl of his own one day. It was a pleasant thought and he smirked thinking about telling Anakin how much he owed him for talking his ear off about Dormé.

After weeks without a decent night's sleep or even a moment's rest, Anakin finally began to succumb to the Dark Side. At first it was small short spurts a moment here another there. He was mindful to ensure that Obi-Wan never caught him.

The negotiations were supposed to be simple, or so he thought, but with each passing day, it became increasingly clear that there would be no easy answer. Civil war was beginning to erupt and it was in this that Anakin was able to vent much of his frustrations.

Ferus was originally shadowing Master Kenobi, as the Jedi Council wanted him to learn how to train his future padawan in such things. Ferus went along with it at first, but once he sensed the impending darkness, he sneaked away to the battlefield, seeking out his friend.

Today was the worst of it. While Obi-Wan was attempting to make peace with the leaders Anakin was out on the frontlines. An unexpected battle broke out and the young padawan was in the thick of it. Suddenly it didn't matter anymore what anyone thought of him or what the consequences would be. He was just sick of it all and he just wanted to go home. Touching the Dark Side once more, he began to unleash his rage on both allies and enemies alike. It was their fault for bringing him here and it would be their fault that he couldn't go home as soon as he wanted to. He wanted Dormé, but Dormé wasn't there and this too only added fuel to his fire. There would be time enough later to mourn his actions; for now, only vengeance counted.

Ferus held his friendships above the Council's orders and wanted to help Anakin in any way he could. What he came upon was not at all what he imagined. Bodies of young and old alike littered the ground, from where Ferus stood; he could only imagine what sort of force killed them. But what he imagined was biological weapons, weapons of mass destruction, not his friend, Anakin.

Hundreds were fleeing and no one looked twice at Ferus as he strode over to Anakin's enraged form. He knew Anakin hadn't been sleeping very much, but even when Ferus was deprived of rest and angry at the world because of it, he had never gone to such lengths as to touch the dark side. The darkness was like a disease and the closer Ferus got to Anakin, the sicker he felt. It was like an overwhelming stench through the Force and he could barely stand it. Even facing Sith Lords wasn't as magnified as it was now in Anakin's presence. It was as though he embodied the very darkness himself.

'Anakin?' Ferus asked, not even bothering to reach for his lightsaber. Violence, after all, only begot violence.

Anakin continued to unleash his rage and sorrow. With the darkness coursing through his veins, Anakin felt as though he were a god, a creature of vengeance. They wanted the civil war to end, they wanted peace and yet they did nothing to aid the Jedi and the other negotiators. Instead, they pointlessly fought one another as though killing one another would really solve their problems! They clearly wanted death and so now, Anakin would give it to them.

The darkness whispered into his mind encouraging his blood drunk thoughts with promises of power, of peace, and of numbness. With its power, Anakin could end all wars; he could bring about peace; he could have his revenge and return to Dormé a hero!

Everyone who opposed him were slaughtered without Anakin even breaking a sweat. These people weren't warriors, just desperate farmers and herders hardly skilled for battle or even the civil war that broke out amongst them. Though extremists were the true cause behind the war, even they didn't stand a chance against the trained Padawan. For Anakin it didn't matter, to him they were all just animals, mindless creatures who needed to be controlled or punished.

But as the Dark Side controlled his blurry thoughts, Anakin soon lost touch of who was friend and who was foe. In truth, it just didn't matter anymore.

His lightsaber seemed to hum with unnatural life as he moved through the assailants who now began to run away in fear. Those who remained fired their laser pistols at him though they did little damage as Anakin blocked them with ease. A dark smile played on his lips as he ran his blade through his victims, beheading some gutting others and using the Force in ways he never imagined he was capable of.

'Anakin!' Ferus continued to shout.

A voice echoed in the back of Anakin's mind, calling his name. Had he not been so lost in the Dark Side, Anakin would have realised it was none other than his friend. But Anakin was lost in his blood lust and in spite of his belief he was only trying to help it wasn't long before he was turning on Ferus. With yellowy eyes, he focussed his rage on his best friend, his eyes now filled with hate and disgust.

After countless attempts to verbally appeal to the lost Jedi, Ferus fought against being sick as he touched his friend's mind through the Force. _What would Dormé say if she saw you right now? _

A calm voice filled his thoughts and Anakin froze as his heart lodged itself in his throat. Suddenly it wasn't Ferus's voice he heard, it was Dormé's and now Anakin found himself staring at the phantom image of her. She was standing quietly on the sidelines watching him her expression sad and disappointed. Confused but not judging. He jerked back to the sight as though he had been hit. His lightsaber fell to the ground as he struggled to find the words to speak his thoughts. None came save a soft whimper.

Ferus hung onto his friend's mind as long as he could before breaking it and being sick in the brush nearby. Falling to his knees, Ferus tried to regain his composure, feeling his brow dripping with sweat.

His victims were no longer just faceless bodies that he had to destroy, now they were the lifeless forms of Ferus, Obi-Wan, the younglings from the temple his mother; even his father, Qui-Gon Jinn, amongst many others he knew and grew up with. Horrified, he continued to stagger back as reality descended upon him.

'Oh goddess, what have I done?' he pleaded as he dropped to his knees. The frantic survivors saw their chance and soon were firing shots at Anakin who was now helpless to defend himself. The pain was strangely comforting a small reminder that he was alive, a reminder of the price he deserved to pay for what he had done.

As though in a daze he looked down and saw that his body was now covered with laser shots, small burning holes filled with searing white pain. But Dormé was there in his thoughts and in his mind she was now here by his side, cool fingers against burning flesh. It was bliss and he smiled before the image faded leaving him with nothing more than the sight of Ferus nearby and the attackers running away.

Ferus felt absolutely horrid, but did his best to clear his thoughts, calling upon the light side to help him heal and get over the ill effects of the dark side. The dark side waned and faded away, giving Ferus a better image of his friend in front of him. He wiped his head with his sleeve and made his way over to where Anakin was currently under blaster fire. Ferus used the Force to block as much as he could while helping Anakin to a more secluded area away from the battle, or rather what was left of the battle.

Anakin didn't register the steady, strong arms that drew him away from the line of fire as Ferus's. Lost to his trance like state he saw only Dormé, her gentle smile now filled with silent forgiveness. But reality could not remain out of reach for long and eventually Anakin stirred from his haze only to find himself now on the ground staring over at Ferus in disorientated confusion. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could vaguely remember being drawn away but it was a dream, a beautiful one with Dormé.

Once they were alone, Ferus gasped out, 'Anakin—what in the blazes—what were you doing? You went berserker on a bunch of innocent people—killing everything in sight—they're all dead because of you—I don't understand—'

Anakin's head ached violently and his stomach was a violent storm that caused him to ignore his wounds so as to crawl over to the nearby bushes and be ill.

If Dormé knew about this...Anakin—' He didn't want to consider the possibilities. He knew Dormé would be so disappointed to hear about this. 'There were children!'

Anakin tried to ignore Ferus's words, but his final statement would not be ignored. Had he really? His eyes now blue flickered to the lifeless bodies all around them. It was hard to ignore the small forms that littered the now trampled long grass.

He opened his mouth to speak but the words didn't come. The tears did and Anakin furiously tried to hide them as he struggled to get away from it all. He had to clear his head, to think things through to figure out what happened, what went wrong, and why. Anakin didn't get too far as his wounds were too many and would not be ignored. This too added to his frustration and shame bu the didn't speak a word of it.

Ferus used what he had in his utility belt to tend Anakin's visible wounds. He said nothing further to his friend, doing what he could to heal him. It wasn't much, but it would have to do until they could get back to base. As much as Ferus wanted to make amends with the families of the innocent victims, to help them bury their dead loved ones, Ferus knew they didn't have time for that. Once he finished patching what he could on Anakin, he sighed.

Anakin was both shamed and grateful for Ferus and his silent administrations. A finer and truer friend he couldn't have asked for, a more loyal friend he couldn't deserve. Anakin remained silent throughout it all, avoiding Ferus's eyes, though his friend's gaze was entirely focused on tending to his wounds.

Once the work was finished Anakin muttered a quiet thanks and was hoisted to his feet

Their journey was hardly pleasurable as Ferus bit his tongue, forcing himself not to speak to Anakin. He continued to call on the light side of the Force for balance and to keep himself from his darkening thoughts. How were they going to explain this to the Council? How were they going to explain it to Master Kenobi?

Ferus's silence ate at his thoughts and encouraged him to constantly look over his shoulder to the bodies left behind. Anakin knew he'd be having nightmares of it later. Even now, he could hear the silent whispers of their screams, while their hollow eyes burned into the back of his head.

'Ferus say something,' Anakin finally pleaded unable to take the silence any longer. When his friend continued to hold his tongue and draw upon the Light Side Anakin grew even more desperate. 'Echuta-we! Would you quit acting like Obi-Wan? I _iquichan_ up; I know I did. There, I said it out loud; you happy now?'

Still his friend remained silent. Now it was Anakin's turn to fall silent as he bit his lip, while his fingers struggled to fiddle with his belt. Already feeling guilty over his actions and physically sickened by his use of the Dark Side -an unexpected side effect Anakin now felt incredibly dirty and low, as though he were but a stain that was causing Ferus to touch the Light Side, to remain clean of him. He frowned to the thought as his cheeks burned in shame.

Anakin couldn't deny his friend's silence, yet it filled him with such fear. It wasn't the first time he wondered what to do what Dormé would say, but now as Ferus's guided him back to camp Anakin began to feel the rising sense of panic. What if he was about to lose both his best friend and his beloved? The thought was too much and he stopped in his steps to face Ferus.

'We're still friends right? I didn't mean to do—I'm serious, Ferus it was a mistake okay? We all make mistakes right?' he tried again in desperation. He didn't even want to think of Dormé's reaction to the news and wondered if it was best he didn't say anything to her about it. Anakin knew better and dreaded the moment when he'd find the courage to speak of this day to her.

Ferus didn't want to address Anakin, but when his friend faced him, asking truthfully if he would ignore him forever now because of what he did, Ferus knew he had to respond. 'Anakin...' he began in a cautioning tone. He exhaled, bowing his head as he placed both hands on Anakin's shoulders. Looking into Anakin's eyes, he swore, 'I will not stop being your friend. No conditions. But I really feel like—'

Anakin couldn't deny the wave of relief that came with his words. He didn't dare admit to how much Ferus's words meant to him and instead watched his friend with guarded hope.

Ferus dropped his hands. 'I don't know, but I feel like I need to get you back to your wife—when you were with her...I just feel like that would help you...somehow. I don't know what I'm talking about. Nevermind.' He continued to help Anakin toward the camp which was now in his sight.

'Ferus, she's not my wife, not anymore,' Anakin admitted as his expression fell. 'The Order—ended our marriage awhile ago. I just don't know why they couldn't have at least told me what they did, instead of having me find out third hand from the Chancellor.'

Ferus was visibly surprised to hear this, but didn't say anything. He wondered why Dormé hadn't mentioned this bit of news. Perhaps it troubled her too much to speak of it. 'Return to your girlfriend then,' Ferus corrected himself with a shrug.

Anakin didn't tell Ferus that he hadn't told Dormé as his thoughts were soon shifting to the camp ahead. Soon they'd be home and soon he'd have to face his beloved. The thought made his thoughts heavy and he softly sighed. For once, he was hesitant to return to Coruscant and for good reason.

'What should we tell them?' he asked. 'About the battle...'

'We'll deal with it when we get there.' Was all Anakin could say on the matter. They approached and Anakin remained silent, there was no point in volunteering information if it wasn't necessary. Right now, he was more concerned about hiding his Force aura that was now riddled with tendrils of the inky blackness.

Ferus was glad to see his former Master and Master Kenobi. They were in deep discussion with two of the natives that Ferus recognised as tribal leaders. He wondered if they knew about the battle, or rather its aftermath. He exchanged looks with Anakin.

The Jedi Masters finished their conversation and Master Kenobi approached the two of them. 'We were successful in our negotiations,' he informed them.

Obi-Wan felt something off in Anakin's Force signature but didn't pry. He looked over the two young Jedi carefully, also taking in Anakin's wounds. Though he heard of the battle and the ensuing slaughter, he didn't speak of it. 'We are free to return to Coruscant now. Ferus, Master Arxia requested that you remain with her for a little while, helping the natives with other matters.'

'Understood,' Ferus replied. He bowed his head to Master Kenobi and acknowledged his friend before departing.

Ferus would have much rather followed through to make sure Anakin got back all right, to make sure that he wouldn't succumb to the dark side again, but it seemed clear to him that Master Kenobi was well enough aware of Anakin's situation. This was a relief to Ferus who reluctantly bid his friend farewell, internally wishing he wasn't even in the Order anymore do that he could do what he wanted. Now he would be helping the locals clean up after Anakin's mess.

* * *

Obi-Wan didn't say a word to his Padawan about the events, even on their trip back to Coruscant.

Anakin silently trained and fiddled with his knick-knacks attempting to keep his mind off everything and anything he could. It did little to help and in the end, he tried to nap. It proved to be an even worse mistake as images of his mother and of Dormé, and of dead he had only a short time killed haunted his exhausted thoughts. He awoke with a sharp gasp covered in cold sweat and out of breath.

Thankfully, Coruscant was in view and Anakin was able to bury the memory as he imagined Dormé's beautiful smile and her impish freckles, fingers undoing his tunic with perfect ease as though she wore the cumbersome uniform and not him. It didn't work quite as well as he'd have liked but it was enough and it helped Anakin survive the worst of the day until he could finally escape to his beloved's arms. Tonight he just wanted to forget, to enjoy his beloved's company and to embrace what little time they had together.

Obi-Wan sensed the turmoil in his Padawan through their entire journey back to Coruscant and it made him uneasy. As much as he knew he ought to talk to him about what happened, he wanted to believe that Anakin knew he had done something wrong and that it would urge Anakin to want to make up for it. He thought perhaps once they returned to the Jedi Temple, he could speak to him about it, but not long after they arrived, Anakin had disappeared.

Obi-Wan sighed, running a hand over his beard. He knew where Anakin went, but he remembered how Anakin behaved every time Anakin returned after spending time with Lady Dormé. It was hardly a negative reaction. If anything, the missions and the war were detrimental to Anakin and fed into his darker tendencies. But there was little Obi-Wan could do about the Jedi Council's decisions on the matter.

* * *

A/N: Coming up… Palpatine's evil designs come to a head:

_'And of course there is the matter of your mother…You also know that the Jedi will not agree to your wish to help her, perhaps Amidala is the one you need to make it possible.'Just think of how happy and proud your mother will be upon seeing you both, together, to save her.'_


	12. A Clumsy Padawan

When Anakin arrived home, all of the darkness and bad memories were forgotten. He found Dormé unpacking groceries and sneaked up behind her.

'ANAKIN! I didn't get any holos from you the entire time! I was worried! No, you better have a good excuse for not contacting me!' She poked him in the side.

'I'm sorry I tried to reach you but the planet was so primitive and out of reach I couldn't make any contact at all. I even tried to make knew inventions to help but they never worked,' he admitted before moving to tickle Dormé. 'So you can't blame me for that!' he said with a grin that didn't hide his relief to be home again.

'I missed you so much,' Anakin said as he turned more serious.

She noticed the blaster burns on his tunic as well as his worn expression which spoke volumes to her. He looked exhausted to her and she could tell he hadn't been sleeping. 'You're injured?' she asked in concern.

'I'm fine now. That's what counts,' he replied with a shrug.

She touched his cheek.

Her touch stabilized him and Anakin grew more serious for it. 'But enough about me, I'm more interested in hearing how you've been!' he said wanting to forget about the frontlines and more interested in losing himself in Dormé's life.

As much as Dormé wanted to talk to him about everything that happened since they parted, she also wanted to be sure that he was truly OK. He didn't seem to want to talk about it. She understood that he wanted to forget about the frontlines, but at the same time, she wished he would talk to her, just as they used to.

'So much has happened since you left,' she said, speaking of the loss of her old job and now her new job with the senator. Dormé didn't mention the name of the senator, but talked of her new handmaiden occupation and the training she went through.

Unaware that it was none other than the senator he was on mission to protect, Anakin listened intently and was filled with pride at how well his beloved had done in her training. 'I bet you're the best bodyguard they have ever known,' Anakin said proudly as he gave her a squeeze. It was then he noticed something different about Dormé's Force signature. Briefly distracted by it, Anakin wondered what was different and promptly realised he had seen this before in others.

Dormé was glad that Anakin supported and believed in her. She admitted that she didn't think she was incredibly gifted as a bodyguard, but that she was improving. 'Any word on when you'll be knighted yet?'

Anakin felt a wave of dark memories when she mentioned it. 'No, not yet,' he murmured quietly as his grip around her tightened.

She hugged him back tightly and sighed. 'I'm so glad you're home. I wish I could take the week off again—'

Holding her near, he buried his troubled thoughts as he kissed her brow. 'I only wish I could take the week off,' he confessed as he gave her a squeeze. 'But I'm stuck doing another mission.'

Her expression fell. 'Another mission? So soon?' she asked, unable to hide her disappointment.

'Something to do with a senator? Not sure who yet; I haven't really had a chance to be updated,' Anakin continued leaving out the fact his quick departure was the reason for it.

Dormé smiled. 'Maybe we'll be able to work together! Or at least see each other...even if it's from across a room.'

'And maybe we could exchange hidden notes or something! Or do this hand signalling thing that Obi-Wan said he learnt from a handmaiden he knows!' he suggested in hopeful tones.

'I might be able to get a few days though. If I had my way, I would just spend all my time with you forever—' she giggled. 'And then we'd never get anything done!'

He grinned impishly to Dormé's teasing and moved to tickle her. 'Are you saying that I'm a distraction?' he teased, 'or that I'm keeping your from better things?' he continued playfully.

Shaking her head, she tried to say, 'No of course not...You're the most important thing in my life—' but his fingers moved deftly to her sides. She laughed uncontrollably as she tried to fight him off with little luck.

The possibility immediately lightened Anakin's mood and soon he was teasing and tickling Dormé playfully before squealing as she returned the favour.

'No fair! I'm so—much more—ticklish than you!' he crowed between laughter before racing off to catch her as Dormé ran for their bedroom to get a pillow to defend herself.

'No way you're going to win this one Dormé Skywalker!' he shouted as the truth of their dissolved marriage was entirely forgotten for the moment. Anakin tried to tickle Dormé before she had a chance to get her pillow but didn't time himself right and almost caught their dresser that was near the bed instead. Hardly detoured, he cursed in amusement and raced towards her anyway.

Dormé giggled as she tried to get him again while keeping out of the reach of his deft fingers. However, her desire for him to touch her was far stronger than her need to prevent herself from being tickled. She missed him too much to resist.

As much as she wanted to enjoy every moment with him, it was not long after they made love that she fell asleep in spite of her best intentions.

Anakin awoke to Dormé's lazy kisses which he readily returned and was soon initiating in a more passionate means of waking up. Their time spent in the shower ensured that there was little time left for breakfast. But it was an enjoyable one. Though Anakin caught sight of the new literature, some holobooks on childrearing and pregnancy, he didn't quite make the connection as his reading abilities were limited at best. He saw the images of pregnant women and smiled wistfully, not allowing himself to believe that it was anything more than the tales that Dormé enjoyed reading. Such dreams were just too wonderful to happen, and even if they did, the Jedi were sure to try to steal away that joy too.

Anakin immediately buried the thought and focused his attentions instead on the time they did have together, and the happiness they had in this moment, as it was something even the Jedi couldn't steal.

It wasn't long before he was receiving the unwanted call demanding his presence he rolled his eyes and turned off his holo-comm before turning his attentions back to Dormé.

'It can wait I have far more important matters at hand,' he murmured as he slipped his arms around Dormé and tried to pull her onto his lap.

Later that morning, when Dormé's comm demanded her attention, it was not to be ignored. She knew the senator was arriving and she had to go. Dressing in her handmaiden robes, Dormé was proud of herself for the first real time in her life. Anakin's words about her ability to do this job meant more to her than the words of the elder handmaidens.

As she tied up her hair, she smiled, thinking today would go very well, with the chance of seeing Anakin too. 'I wish we were going in the same direction for the whole ride,' she said, mentioning the transport.

With much reluctance, Anakin dressed in his padawan garbs. 'I hope we can spend the day together, even if we're both on duty,' he admitted wistfully before returning her kiss and giving her a squeeze.

'Even better if we didn't have to work,' she added as she put on her cloak.

'I only wish we never had to work, or we could always work together—although I don't think our masters would like that much,' he added with a snicker.

hr

Anakin travelled alone back to the Jedi Temple, his thoughts returning to his present situation. Only then was he reminded of the fact he still hadn't told her the truth of their marriage or what he had done.

The memory of the images he saw on the datapads resting on the table returned as well and Anakin couldn't help but wonder what would happen if they were to have a baby? How could he possibly be a good father after what he had done?

The transport stopped and Anakin stepped off, swiftly burying the thought before allowing it to fully manifest itself. He had an appointment with the chancellor after all and knew he'd to keep a clear head throughout it all. Anakin did want to maintain a good impression and valued the chancellor's opinion of him; perhaps the old man would know what he should do?

* * *

On the transport to the senatorial building, Dormé received a comm from Saché informing her that the senator's arrival was threatened and that the group on the senator's vessel had been killed. Two of the security officers had been wounded and Cordé and Versé were dead. Dormé didn't know the handmaiden and decoy, but was saddened to hear of their deaths. But what was more shocking was the hint that Dormé would be the next decoy.

Dormé had only begun her training and hardly thought that she would be able to portray the senator well enough to be her decoy. She hadn't even met the senator in person! But she didn't have time for these thoughts as she was soon accompanying the senator she barely had a chance to introduce herself to, to a senate meeting.

The entire time, Dormé was on the look out for her husband, rather than on the senator's security, but it seemed Captain Typho thought she was doing her job as a handmaiden.

With no sign of Anakin, Dormé resigned herself to her duties, finding herself in the midst of galactic conflict. She didn't really have a clue what was going on, but it didn't matter since she didn't really have a say on anything, nor was her opinion needed. She followed Amidala to the Supreme Chancellor's office and Dormé was wide-eyed in wonder. She had never been in such immaculate offices; it was almost as fancy as the senator's.

When the supreme chancellor mentioned the Jedi, Dormé's eyes lit up. This was especially good news! This would mean, she hoped, that Anakin would be part of the senator's protection. She had to withhold jumping for joy and embracing the chancellor. She knew it would not be proper and that it would probably cause her to lose her job.

After returning to the senator's quarters, Dormé had more of a chance to speak with the senator, whom was deeply grieved over the threat to her person and what it would mean to the people of Naboo should she lose her life.

* * *

_ 'Senator Amidala is a fine young woman, gifted with many talents, as I'm sure you already know.'_

Anakin fidgeted nervously with his utility belt and tried to clear his thoughts of the Chancellor's words. He didn't like this idea, not one bit and yet there was another factor he had to consider and the thought made his heart heavy.

_'And of course, there is the matter of your mother. I know you are very worried about her and her safety. Those dreams sound far too real to be anything but a vision. You also know that the Jedi will not agree to your wish to help her. Perhaps Amidala is the one you need to make it possible._

_'Just think of how happy and proud your mother will be upon seeing you both, together, to save her.'_

Anakin wasn't too sure the senator would agree but she was renowned for being headstrong and not taking to the rules, a trait he too shared. It was a possibility and one he couldn't completely throw away.

Yet upon entering the room, Anakin immediately caught sight of her and once more was filled with doubts. Padmé was still as beautiful as he remembered. Only Anakin also could make out the iciness of her Force signature, the walls he hadn't seen before. She was beautiful, but in a sculpted sort of way like a statue come life. It was disturbing and yet he couldn't help but feel a little drawn to her. Like the dark side, she was cold, but like the darkness, she was also powerful. If anyone could help him with his mother, Anakin was certain she would be the one.

Trying to portray the appearance of a proper Jedi Knight, he made his greeting and immediately fumbled.

Padmé raised a brow, clearly amused, but obviously not impressed. He was still the little boy in her eyes and this annoyed Anakin as he couldn't help but wonder if she'd even take his dreams, nevermind his plans of rescuing his mother, seriously.

Dormé followed her mistress over to the two Jedi, but barely noticed Master Kenobi as her eyes remained locked on Anakin. It was a bit disconcerting how he was looking at her mistress and the short dialogue they exchanged. They knew each other from when he was little! She didn't like how she called him Ani or how she viewed him like he was a child. Dormé was naturally defensive of her husband, and not liking how he seemed to be refusing to look at her.

It was very hard for Dormé not to speak up, for her mistress hadn't even introduced her to the Jedi. She knew as a handmaiden she might as well be invisible, but the fact Anakin was playing into this without even stealing a single glance in her direction made her feel bad. She didn't know the truth behind this sour feeling that was beginning to work itself into her conscious thought.

Anakin tried his best to show himself to be a capable warrior, one who could be counted on and knew how to do what was necessary to get the job done. He needed the senator's support and did his best to make the proper impression. It wasn't quite successful but he didn't give up. There was just too much at stake to let things slide, at least not yet. Once his mother was safe and back home then it wouldn't matter what the senator thought of him.

Once he had been put in his place—something he was certain Obi-Wan could have done without speaking to him as though he were a child—Anakin fell silent and contemplated his plans. Surely it wouldn't be that hard to steal a ship to Tatooine. He'd speak to Watto to get the details necessary and rescue his mother. Maybe then he would trick Watto in freeing his mother and then they could all return home. The thought gave him hope and Anakin found himself looking forward to introducing his mother to Dormé. Anakin was certain his mother would understand upon meeting Dormé just why he loved her as opposed to Padmé.

So lost was he to his thoughts that Anakin didn't even note or pay heed to Dormé's souring thoughts. Nor did he really register much of the meeting until it was almost over when his name was spoken and he was forced to snap back to reality.

* * *

Much later that evening, Amidala finally gave Dormé leave to eat supper in her own quarters. However, Dormé soon found that the quarters she once occupied were no longer her own, for her things had been moved to Cordé's old room which connected to Amidala's through a secret passage. As the new decoy, it was now Dormé's responsibility to take on all facets of security including night duty.

Exhausted, but starving, Dormé fixed herself something to eat, wondering if Anakin might be able to join her. She wasn't sure if she could offer food to him or if his master would prevent it. She decided to offer the both of them something to eat, even though she really only had enough for two people.

Dormé went to check on the Jedi to see if they were interested in having a meal with her, but when she entered her mistress's chambers, the Jedi were nowhere to be found, least of all her husband. Instead, Dormé ate alone and changed for bed. She delayed as much as she could, hoping that Anakin would return or that she could at least say goodnight to him.

She wondered if they had set up special accommodations for the Jedi, for she hadn't heard anything about it. Dormé resolved to talk to Saché about it, but Saché was downstairs with Captain Typho in the security. She contemplating comming Saché to ask, but figured they had enough on their minds.

It seemed that no one in the building, save the senator, was getting any sleep.

Dormé paced as she fiddled around with things in her apartment, picking up and putting things away, finding anything else to do but go to sleep. The longer she delayed, the less going to sleep appealed to her.

* * *

Anakin wanted to retire to Dormé's for supper to share his latest plan of attack, but it wasn't permitted as the chancellor sought him out again once more. Tired and hungry, Anakin knew better than to question it and was once more updated on the situation.

'I'm proud of you, Anakin,' Palpatine said cheerfully, resting a hand on his shoulders. 'I had high hopes that your mission would be a success and in spite of your actions, I am sure you will soon earn the title of knighthood.'

As they walked together, he admitted, 'In fact, I believe you are even more powerful than some of the members of the Jedi Council.'

Anakin found it laughable but he couldn't deny that in a literal sense he could channel more of the Force than they could. But what did it really mean if he was forced to serve them? Anakin spoke of his plans to the old man and was pleased to know that the chancellor supported it. He had faith that Padmé would come around and see things his way.

'Show you what a fine young Jedi you are. Your intentions are noble and, I assure you, Anakin, you will win her heart and save your mother in the process.'

As Anakin departed for the senator's quarters to begin the nightwatch, he sighed as he recalled the chancellor's parting words. He couldn't care less if he won Padmés heart. He already had another's heart and she held his he was tired, Anakin was grateful for the shift at it meant he needn't worry about sleep. No sleep meant no nightmares.

What he didn't expect was for the senator to be so obstinate. She refused to let him monitor as she rested. 'With all due respects, Senator, this isn't about ogling you. It's about making sure no one sneaks into your room!' Anakin snapped

He came so close to speaking of Dormé being his lover and his lack of interest in her, but something stopped Anakin. It wasn't the first time he kept silent about Dormé; not even Palpatine was aware of their relationship. There was something sacred about it and Anakin couldn't bring himslf to share its secret with anyone save Ferus Olin.

'Very well,' Padmé replied, but when she retired to her chamber, she covered the cameras.

Anakin to curse profusely. What a perfect way to begin a mission. If anything were to go wrong, it was certain to be on his head!

Dormé left her apartment and stole into her mistress's once again. This time, she was rewarded when she spotted Anakin. However, Dormé was conscious of the fact they couldn't be seen speaking to each other and looked around carefully before approaching.

'Anakin!' she exclaimed, though she tried to keep her voice low, knowing at any moment they could be interrupted.

Anakin heard Dormé whispering his name and suddenly the mission was the furtherest from his mind. It wasn't hard for him to find his beloved though the sight of her confused him. 'What are you wearing? I thought you were off duty?' he asked in confusion noting the hair and rather primative looking nightgown.

But noting the freckles that revealed themselves on one of her shoulders Anakin's thought immediately turned primal and soon he was slipping his arms around her and eagerly kissing her throat and shoulder.

'A nightgown?' Dormé replied in slight confusion by the greeting, but soon Anakin was holding and kissing her neck.

The nightgown definitely had to go and Anakin was only too happy to help Dormé out of it.

Giggling, she tried to explain, 'I'm decoying since Cordé and the other handmaiden decoy died this morning...'

'Cordé—who—nevermind,' he murmured breathlessly between heated kisses. Though Dormé spoke of duties Anakin's thoughts were entirely elsewhere. More exactly the freckles that danced along Dormé's cheekbone just by her lips.

'I have to wear it, to pretend to be—Anakin!' Not that she minded him getting friendly with her, but she wasn't sure it was such a good idea right there.

'Can you go back to my apartment?' she asked breathily between kisses. 'You haven't seen it yet, you know—you should take a break or something...'

He nodded to her words though not really registering them as he eagerly tried to remove her nightgown. 'Apartment—yes—break, definitely—I like this break,' he murmured eagerly. Anakin wasn't quite able to find Dormés quarters, but somehow he did manage to guide them to the nearby couch.

Dormé giggled at his administrations and she too began to forget where exactly they were. They didn't get very close to her apartment because Anakin was incredibly distracting. Even though she mentioned that they ought to retire to her chambers to continue their break, Dormé was easily lost in Anakin's arms. While he tended to her nightgown, she skilfully unhooked his belt and worked on getting rid of his tunic.

Anakin figured that after all, it wasn't really like anyone would know security cameras were all hooked up to Padmé's room and she was sleeping. There was enough security to man an army. Was he really needed?

In the back of her head, Dormé figured she would make up some excuse if that should happen. Besides, no one would suspect that they were married.

Eager to enjoy a few passionate moments with his beloved Anakin soon forgot that Obi-Wan was to be joining him as well. Though the couch was small, he managed as best he could and was soon basking in all of Dormé's glory.

Their antics kept Padmé quite awake with shouts of passion.

Obi-Wan was on his way back from checking on the security downstairs, deciding to go back through the handmaidens' quarters first before returning to the senator's private chambers. As he approached the door, he overheard their expressions of love and briefly considered the fact it might be Senator Amidala which made him very self-conscious as he quickly banished the thought. What was worse, was the fact he thought of Sabé and it was incredibly difficult to not think about holding her or kissing her, as much as he knew it was selfish of him. He knew Sabé had enough on her mind right now with the death of her two trainees. The more he tried not to think of Sabé, the harder it was, so he said her name to himself to calm himself of the frustration he felt over leaving Anakin alone, only for him to forsake his duties.

The door slid open and Dormé was in just a position to see the elder Jedi emerging. Her eyes snapped wide and she attempted to push Anakin away in order to reach for her gown.

Anakin lost to the moment was entirely unaware that they were no longer alone. In spite of his Force sensitivity, Obi-Wan's entrance had little effect on him until Dormé suddenly cursed in shock and pushed him away.

'_Araru_—' she cursed. Dormé intended to quickly dress and hide so that no one would know she had been there, despite how obvious it looked.

Stunned and entirely confused, Anakin uttered some colourful words of his own as he wondered what came over Dormé. But as he turned, about to ask his beloved what was wrong, Anakin both felt and caught sight of his master's presence. His eyes widened in shock as Anakin screamed out a curse in disbelief and surprise.

Swiftly Anakin struggled to get to his feet but his position on the couch already a precarious one didn't bode well for his already awkward sense of balance. Another shout escaped his lips and soon the naked padawan was tumbling backwards, head first into the table. With a resounding crack, the right side of Anakin's face met the corner of the elegant table causing a new string of Urashian and Huttese curses to explode from his mouth.

Dormé gasped, seeing the blood. 'Anakin!'

Though the damage wasn't severe, it wasn't long before blood was dribbling to the floor. His naked state was all but forgotten in his rage. '_Iquichan_ piece of _echuta_! What the _uragal_ is it doing here anyway?' Anakin screamed in irritation as he tried to stop the bleeding while kicking the table out of his range of sight.

'Damn _iquicha_ piece of _echuta_!' he growled through clenched teeth as he seethed in pain and now embarrassment.

'You're bleeding, Anakin—Are you all right—we'll have to get you to the med centre—'

Padmé awoken by the sound rushed out of her room only to dodge the flying table. She was equally livid but had yet to notice Anakin's wound. 'What is the meaning of this? I thought you were to protect me not destroy my quarters!' she gasped before noticing Dormé was there as well and then the fact Anakin was hardly clothed.

Obi-Wan was hardly amused by the site and chastised him. 'And just how do you think that this benefits the senator's security, Anakin? The cameras don't seem to be working which is why I came back up here in the first place—'

'Master Kenobi dare I ask what is going on?' Padmé asked through clenched teeth.

Anakin scowled to his master and spouted out more curses till Dormé came to his side and helped him into his clothes. 'Ask Padmé she's the one who wanted the cameras turned off!' he snapped.

Dormé was helping Anakin with his trousers, knowing he would need something on before getting medical attention. 'Can't you see he's bleeding? He's cut himself on that _haramu_ table—'

Obi-Wan knew Lady Dormé had a point but he also knew if Anakin was doing his duties none of this would have happened. Obi-Wan believed the best of the pair and that Dormé knew about their marriage being annulled years ago, that Anakin had been honest with her, and that they probably hadn't seen each other much since then. He thought it was their reunion that he had interrupted and that this would see the end of it.

The memory of the chancellor's conversation returned and Anakin felt the embarrassment setting in along with it. How could he hope to save his mother now after this escapade? 'It's all right, Dormé. I'll be fine. It's just a scratch. Obi-Wan's right—I shouldn't have been distracted,' Anakin admitted feeling his cheeks burn as he continued, 'I'll take care of the table and clean up the mess.'

'You damn well better,' Padmé snapped before turning her attentions to the petite beauty by Anakin's side.

'And you, Lady Jaffa, have duties of your own do you not?'

At her mistress's words, Dormé bowed her head. 'Yes, milady,' she replied obediently, for she knew her place. On her way out though, she stole another glance at Anakin. In her thoughts, she whispered her feelings for him that she was unable to vocalize in public.

Anakin didn't stop Padmé from turning his beloved away as Anakin was reminded of his mother's passing and why it was so important that he try to gain Padmés favour. It didn't stop him from watching Dormé with longing eyes as she slipped out of the room. Her whispered love brought a small smile to his lips and soon he was whispering his own affections back along with the promise of completing what they had started only a short time ago.

Alone, Anakin's thoughts turned back to the nightmares and once more he wished there could be a way for Dorme and him to just forget about it all and leave for Tatooine. He knew Dormé wouldn't hesitate to help him and knew his mother and Dormé would get along so well—Anakin could only pray that one day Dormé would be able to meet his mother.

The wound was soon tended to but Anakin's mood was hardly lightened by it. The lack of sleep and the recent turn of events left him feeling worn and desperate. In his mind he replayed all the possibilities and things that could go wrong preventing him from saving his mother. After a littler prompting by Obi-Wan, he grudgingly spoke of his nightmares.

However, before he really had a chance to express his plans for the future, Anakin felt a powerful shift in the Force and was soon racing off into Padmé's room. Now was his grand chance!

* * *

A/N: Coming up,

_'Dormé—There is something you need to know,' he began quietly._ _ 'It's over. I'm married now—to Padmé.'_


	13. A Shattered Dream

Dormé had little time to watch her husband, hoping that his master would have other duties to attend to, as suddenly the Jedi raced into her mistress's bedchamber. Dormé had difficulties keeping up with them due to her long, cumbersome nightgown and robe.

Ever eager to make a good impression on the senator, Anakin raced off in a rush almost tripping over Dormés long nightgown in the process.

Drawing lightsaber, Anakin swiftly and skilfully killed the worm-like creatures that threatened Padme's life. Anakin was certain now he had found his opportunity and that the senator would now be more than willing to assist him in stopping the threat posed against his mother.

By the time Dormé got there with Captain Typho and two other guards, Anakin was racing out past her. She turned to look at him, but he was already gone and her mistress looked shocked and quite put out.

'Are you all right, milady?'

Padmé frowned. 'What do you think?' She was tired and the irritation was evident in her voice. 'Get these disgusting worms out of here,' she ordered the guards.

Dormé jumped off the bed the moment she spotted the creatures. They were humongous insects! She had been sitting next to half of one sliced by Anakin's lightsaber! She had almost touched one! Dormé felt itchy all over as though they were climbing on her skin.

Padmé looked at her handmaiden as though she had gone mad. Rising from the bed, consequently tossing some of the remains of the insects as she did so, she went over to her. She grasped Dormé's shoulders. 'Dormé Jaffa!'

Dormé's eyes were still focused on the remains of the insects which were now near her feet. She wasn't breathing.

'DORMÉ! Get a hold of yourself!' Padmé shouted in concern and frustration. She let Dormé go and motioned to one of her guards to take over trying to help Dormé out. 'While the Jedi search out the attacker, we need to put in a new course of action...' She continued on as she marched out of her room to her main chambers where she had Captain Typho contact the rest of her security team.

Meanwhile, Dormé fainted into the guard who took her to her apartment and had a medical droid take a look at her.

It wasn't until the next morning that Dormé awoke, confused, in her own bed. Rubbing her head, she recalled the events of the night before and sat up. She wondered why Amidala was so influential in the senate that people would want to kill her. Dormé wasn't very familiar with politics and was hired more for her looks and ability with a sword than her intelligence. She figured she would ask one of the other handmaidens about it later.

Before she was able to get dressed, she received orders to dress as decoy and that they would be leaving with the Jedi soon. Dormé didn't know that this meant she would be saying goodbye to her mistress as she headed off for Naboo with Dormé's husband.

Upon discovering the truth of the matter, Dormé was disappointed. She thought it would make more sense for Amidala to remain here in the disguise of a handmaiden than for her to sneak off to Naboo. Weren't there more Jedi here on Coruscant? Wasn't two Jedi protecting her better than just one?

She remained silent and pensive on the ride on the transport.

Anakin never did have a chance to see or speak to Dormé and when he did it was only in brief passing. He learnt of her faint when they were going over security cameras that morning and felt bad for not having been there for her. But there was no time for apology and so he remained silent for the duration of the ride hit thoughts torn between guilt and fear for his mother's safety.

As Padmé gave her final instructions to his beloved, Anakin stole another glance at Dormé. He couldn't say why, but he had a feeling both of their lives were about to change forever and it made his heart incredibly heavy.

Dormé didn't know when she would see him again and could hardly contain her sorrow. She wanted so badly to take him into her arms and hold him, kiss him, to bid him a proper farewell, but she knew it wasn't allowed.

_Goodbye, my love—I will see you soon._

The words whispered into Dormé's thoughts before Anakin had a chance to register what he was saying.

No further words were exchanged and soon he was leaving with the senator who spoke of things Anakin knew not to be true.

_Goodbye_, he said for the first time. She didn't know why, but this made her inconsolable. Not two seconds after he took her mistress's luggage off the transport, Dormé disappeared to the back, sitting alone and sobbing while Captain Typho and Master Kenobi watched them head towards the starship that would take them to Naboo.

Dormé was furious at the Jedi for making them pretend their marriage didn't exist. She was angry because she knew her mistress didn't want to go to Naboo and that it would be safer if Dormé went instead. She hated that Anakin had only just got back and he had to leave again. There was no word on when he would return and this just made her even more upset. What if those responsible for the attack on Amidala found out about the ruse and attacked Anakin when he was alone with her mistress? Wouldn't it be safer if both Jedi went?

Both Obi-Wan and Soren snapped out of their thoughts about the matter of letting Anakin and Padmé go alone to Naboo together upon hearing Dormé crying. Obi-Wan received a comm from the Jedi Temple alerting him to the fact they had the results of the dart's test so he had to leave.

Soren looked uncomfortably from Dormé to Master Kenobi before bidding the Jedi Master good luck. Then he approached the young handmaiden. He knew she was not yet eighteen and though, by Naboo standards, she was many years already an adult, to the security captain, he viewed her as still a girl. 'It's going to be all right,' he said, trying to comfort her. He believed she was scared because of the duties she now had and all the responsibility that came with the role of decoy. 'Both Saché and Sabé have full confidence in your abilities. They wouldn't have picked you if they didn't.'

Dormé looked at Captain Typho with confusion written all over her face. He didn't have a clue! She knew she couldn't tell him either and this made her even more upset. However, it was part of keeping up appearances, wasn't it? She sniffed back her tears and dried her eyes on the sleeve of the senator's gown. 'I know,' she said, shaking her head. She forced a smile at him. 'It's my first time having to do this. I'm sure it'll get easier,' she replied.

After her first full day of duties, which were primarily large meetings that didn't give her the opportunity to speak, Dormé was due to go to the medical centre. With great anticipation, Dormé waited for the medical droids to inform her if she was indeed pregnant or not.

'You are eight weeks pregnant, from closest estimate,' the droid warbled.

Dormé floated back to the senatorial district, elated at the news. It was true! She was right! She was pregnant! She was going to be an ama and Anakin was going to be a daddy! She couldn't believe it, yet, she wanted to tell Anakin and she wasn't able to.

The moment she got back to her apartment, she tried to send him a message, but it kept bouncing back to her as though the codes she entered were incorrect. She then tried speaking to him in her head, but he didn't respond so she didn't know if that had worked or not. She wanted everyone to know and her heart fell at the knowledge that she couldn't tell a soul. If she told anyone it would mean giving away her deepest, most sacred secret of all: that she was married to Anakin, a Jedi.

* * *

Anakin was hardly encouraged by the idea of seducing the senator and truthfully felt both awkward, and dirty when he tried. The lack of sleep and the nightmares only added to this feeling and aided in his moody disposition. But for all intents and purposes, it worked and despite the hesitant kiss and the professed lies of love, Padmé still agreed to join him on Tatooine.

Her presence was no longer needed or so he believed, but upon saving his mother, Anakin was faced with another complication, one he had never expected or even imagined. Had he not been so lost in his sorrow at failing to save her, Anakin would have realised the truth behind Shmi's parting words.

It was his happiness she desired, not the wish for him to marry Padmé. But his distraction ensured Anakin's confusion and upon hearing her wish for him to find someone special, Anakin believed she spoke of the senator and the childish crush he once had for her.

It was with a heavy heart that he touched the dark side, losing himself to despair and rage as he believed that even his own mother was against the love he bore for Dormé. The Sandpeople paid the price of his misunderstanding with their lives and with it came Anakin first true and undeniable steps into the darkness he had been trained to destroy.

Padmé unaware of the reasons for Anakin's madness and afraid for the safety of the innocent people they stayed with did her best to comfort Anakin.

Though he was grateful to Padmé for her attempts, Anakin found himself missing Dormé's presence more than ever. Anakin knew she wouldn't tolerate his sour mood or try to coddle it. He needed Dormé to be angry with him for the slaughter of innocents. He deserved that. He needed that more than anything.

Just when things couldn't have gotten worse, Anakin learnt of his Master's abduction and was off to Geonosis where they too were captured.

It was there that Padmé confessed to having feelings for him which both shocked and frightened Anakin who knew he didn't really return them at all. With his mother's final words echoing in his thoughts, Anakin knew there would be no turning back. He wanted his mother to be proud of him and of the decisions he had made. If being with Padmé was what it would take, then Anakin had no intention of failing his mother again.

And so, closing his eyes, he envisioned Dormé's freckled features and kissed Padmé's lips, feeling as though he had sold his soul to a darkness only he knew.

With the help of the Order's quick arrival, Anakin, Padmé and Master Kenobi were rescued, but it came with a price. With the success on Geonosis came the beginning of a new war and with the survival of Dooku's attack came the loss of Anakin's arm and ultimately his relationship with Dormé.

After spending a few awkward days on Naboo, Anakin returned home a miserable, but married man. He tried to look on the bright side, telling himself that at least his mother would know peace through the Force. It didn't help.

Anakin knew something had changed within in him during those past few days and he couldn't deny the sinking feeling that the worst was yet to come.

* * *

Days passed into weeks before there was any word from her mistress. One of the elder handmaidens, Moteé, came bounding into the senator's room just after Dormé was bidding farewell to Senator Organa who had stopped by to see Amidala.

'You'll never guess—'

'What?' Dormé asked as she meandered over to the wardrobe in order to change into her own clothes.

'She got married!'

'Who got married?' Dormé asked.

'Padmé! She married that Jedi—the cute one—Skywalker, can you believe it! Of course we're not to say anything, you know, since it's forbidden or whatever their stupid Jedi rule is—but we have to be in on the secret since we're part of her security and you know that he's going to be coming over all the time to see her, you know for a good haramu with his wife—'

Dormé couldn't help laughing at the exaggeration. Certainly it wasn't Anakin, if Padmé was married! If anything, Dormé would say that Senator Organa would have gotten a divorce and married Padmé instead with the way he had been eyeing her the entire time Dormé had been decoying. He lingered so much when he had to leave for another meeting. And why would Senator Organa make it his personal concern to escort Amidala back to her apartment on more than one occasion when she already had a team of security and handmaidens to accompany her?

'Why are you laughing? He's very nice looking and with those Force powers, who knows what he's capable of in bed—'

Dormé just shook her head, giggling to herself, for if she ha learnt anything about Moteé, it was that she certainly was full of herself. The moment she heard the news that her mistress was returning to Coruscant, Dormé could barely contain her excitement. Anakin was coming home! However, it was the war that upset her most now, for this kept an undeniable sense of foreboding hovering over everyone's heads these days. She had heard of Anakin's feat on Geonosis along with the horrors of the massive slaughter of Jedi. She was incredibly thankful to hear that he was in the company of her mistress, though she was unaware of the damage the fallen Jedi, Count Dooku, had done to Anakin's arm.

Dormé was not allowed to go to greet them at the docking bay because she was supposed to remain in seclusion until her mistress was well inside and would be able to change into senatorial gowns. Dormé bid her time by reorganizing her mistess's kitchen, which was only used by droids, if anyone ever used it. She didn't think anyone would mind if she did so and it was something to pass the time. She found that doing inane things like reorganizing made the time go faster, or at least it usually did. Today, on the other hand, she was far too distracted to be of much use and was thinking too much about seeing Anakin again to be able to stop herself from looking at the chronometer.

The moment the doors parted, Dormé had to force herself not to race over to them and give Anakin a hug in front of everyone. She wanted to speak to him freely so incredibly much that it made her physically ache with longing.

Anakin felt his heart leap into his throat at the sight of Dormé. She was beauty in all of its perfection and it left him with the realization of just how unclean he truly was. Though try as he might Anakin couldn't quite meet Dormé's gaze and soon found himself avoiding it. He avoid Padmé's warning glances as well and felt disgusted that she would believe he'd speak out and admit to his crime.

The formalities continued on for what felt like an eternity, but Anakin found solace for the first time in the shallow exchange of words. It bought him time to lose himself in his thoughts.

Dormé noted that Anakin wasn't even looking at her and she wondered what the matter was. She found her eyes darting to his now gloved hand and she put two and two together. He had injured his hand, that was for certain, but just how bad the injury was, she did not know yet.

It was only when the meetings drew to a close that he was no longer able to hide from the truth. It was with a heavy heart that he slipped off to speak to Dormé. As hard as he knew it was Anakin had to tell her the truth and biting his lip he fiddled with his utility belt as he struggled to find the courage to speak what had to be spoken. He was certain there would be no gods listening to his plea for strength, not after what he had done.

'Dormé—There is something you need to know,' he began quietly.

Once they were alone, she could tell something heavy weighed on his mind, but before she could allow him to confess his thoughts, Dormé said, 'I have something to tell you too—Anakin—'

A huge smile brightened her face as she couldn't contain her happiness. 'Anakin, you're never going to believe it, but I'm pregnant!'

Her joy however was hard to ignore and it ate at his guilty conscience leaving him feeling nervous and out of sorts. But nothing could have prepared him for the news that Dormé bore. In another time, another place Anakin would have been overjoyed. Now all he felt was the sinking sense of despair and choking feeling of hopelessness brought on by the entrapment of his unwanted marriage.

It was now or never.

'It's over Dormé. I'm married now—to Padmé.'

Dormé grabbed him about the waist to hug him, finding he wasn't returning the gesture and was very stiff in her arms. His words caught her off guard and she looked at him, laughing. Certainly he was joking, no doubt brought on from whatever Moteé had been going on about earlier.

'You're serious?' she asked upon noting the look on his face. 'I just told you that I'm pregnant with our first child and that's all you have to say to me?' This had to be some sort of prank, for why else would he say such a thing.

The words didn't come to him, somehow Anakin knew they weren't necessary. He could apologize, but there was enough insult found in his silence, his denial not to bother adding injury to it. Instead he swallowed hard and looked away wishing he could disappear, turn back time, anything.

'Anakin—' Her smile faded. 'Anakin, we've been married for three years—I thought you loved me—What happened? What did I do wrong?' Her eyes filled with tears as she tried to get him to explain himself, feeling her heart being torn asunder.

Only when she spoke of their marriage did the words finally reach him, if only the courage could have as well. 'The Jedi annulled our wedding shortly after we were married. I learnt of it from the Chancellor.

'Annulled?' she asked, not sure what that term meant. 'You mean we're not married? We haven't been married all these years?' Dormé needed clarification, but it was evident in his expression and the fact he married someone else.

Anakin weakly nodded in reply unable to find the words to explain what even he did not fully understand. 'This isn't about love, Dormé. It's not about what I feel for you—You did nothing wrong,' Anakin whispered in sorrow. It wasn't long before he was explaining everything, Palpatine's words, the nightmares of his mother, and his plans to use Padmé to save her.

'I couldn't save my mother. So instead, I fulfilled her final wish for me to be with Padmé. Just as my brother answered our father's final wish,' Anakin admitted quietly.

'Obi-Wan sacrificed his freedom and life to raise me to honour our father. At the time I thought it was only fair I did the same to honour our mother.' Only then did Anakin realise the bitter irony of his words. He was not a man known for his nobility and now here he was throwing it all away to fulfill a dream he knew was never his to have: to become the noble Jedi Knight that his brother and father were. 'But—I never knew, had I known I wouldn't have—I would have done—I wish I could have done it all differently, but its too late now—'

Anakin continued, speaking of confusing things that made her feel sick. 'You wish we hadn't—you wanted to be with her because of your mother and she's a rich, powerful senator whom you've known since you were little—and you didn't tell me...you knew about this...You knew they ended our marriage and you didn't tell me!'

He never was very good with explanations and this time was no different. His eyes widened in horror and shame to Dormé's words and quickly he shook his head trying to find a way to assure her that wasn't what he had intended. This wasn't about money, power or even his childhood crush he had long since forgotten. 'I didn't—I couldn't, I didn't want—' he caught himself there was no point in insulting her further by suggesting the truth.

The hot tears that spilled down his cheeks burned, a sharp contrast to the cold emptiness felt inside his soul. He cursed them and cursed himself for not stopping them, for ruining what was to have been the happiest day of their lives. Now all that would remain would be a memory of sorrow.

Dormé was shaking as tears slid down her cheeks. She stared at him, at the audacity of this situation. How dare he not tell her about this! How dare he keep it a secret for so long, for so many years! In her despair, she pounded her fists on his chest, repeating her demands for a reason why over and over.

The truth had no real weight here and as Dormé attacked him, Anakin did nothing to resist it. This was deserved and a part fo him was grateful for it.

She wanted to know why he kept it from her, why he couldn't have come up with a plan with her, why they couldn't have sorted it out together, why he had to marry Padmé Amidala, and why this had to happen now when they were going to have a baby together.

She continued her assault until she was too tired and frustrated that she succumbed to her tears. Deep down in her heart, she knew he loved her, but in this moment, she still trying to understand what happened and understand the reasons he chose this path, as well as the reasons for keeping this from her for so long.

Anakin found the strength to cautiously try to touch her, to wrap his arms around her petite form. 'I never spoke of her before because she wasn't important to me. I didn't speak of the marriage ending because it was just easier to pretend it never happened.

Dormé was too upset to process everything Anakin was saying. Overwhelmed with hurt and anger, she sobbed into his chest, wishing this day hadn't happened. 'Anakin... our plans...after you become a Knight? But you married someone else—' she murmured between sobs.

Her words broke Anakin's heart, but it was her tears that he would never forget. All his life he had lived as a selfish man, indulging in what he desired over others needs. For the first time, Anakin finally understood his mentor's warning about not thinking his actions through. Never could he have imagined his simple desire to save his mother would ruin his entire life, and even worse, Dormé's life and the future of their baby.

'It wasn't for money or power, definitely not for love—my mother, Force help me, all I wanted to do was save her, Dormé and now—now, now I've destroyed everything I've ever loved and wanted,' he whispered in horror and sorrow. His tears mingled in her hair, even now Dormé's presence was cleansing, only now did Anakin realise just how much he didn't deserve it. He tightened his embrace and bit his lip struggling not to openly sob. It was too late to undo what was done, but it didn't stop Anakin from longing for the past and all the possibilities that were no longer available to him.

Anakin couldn't stop the tears now as he held onto Dormé tightly. He couldn't bring himself to apologize out of fear of further insulting her, but his vice like grip and silent sobs spoke for themselves.

Finally looking up to meet his eyes, she touched his cheeks. Even now, Dormé longed to pretend, even if it wasn't true, that everything was all right. She wanted to pretend that they were still married and that none of this had happened. She wanted to pretend that Anakin would be a Knight soon and they would run away from all of this and be a real family in a home they built together. now even these dreams were sullied by the secrets he had kept.

Anakin found himself staring back into Dormé's tear-stained amber orbs. Even now she was as lovely as a goddess, a goddess whose heart he had mercilessly ripped asunder.

'It's really over?' she asked him 'You never want to see me again? What about our baby?' They were questions she had to ask, but part of her didn't want to hear the truth. She didn't understand how everything could be so perfect, or at least perfect in her mind, until now. How could this last mission have changed so much?

'It's not over—but it is…I can't—I need to see you again, Dormé. I want to be there for our baby—for you. I made a mess of things, a terrible mess,' he whispered closing his eyes so as to prevent the new tears from spilling. Anakin wondered if he'd ever feel Dormé's touch again or if his final memories would be of her calloused fingers caressing his cheeks.

'But I need you, I need you more than ever now—' he hoarsely whispered as he held onto her tightly.

He said it was over and then was going back on it. Dormé didn't understand. 'But you're married—how can we be together if you're married?' she asked sadly as she continued to caress his face.

Anakin knew it was an impossibility, yet it didn't stop him from trying to cling onto the dream he had freely destroyed. It was Dormé who brought him back to reality, her touch soothing and yet tearing his heart asunder. 'We can't—but I—I need to see you again, to see our baby,' he softly pleaded. Anakin bit his lip as he admitted to his desire to see her again. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but Anakin knew it was neither the time or the place. A part of him almost wished he could have continued to keep the secret. The thought was swiftly banished as he knew doing so would have only hurt Dormé further.

Dormé noted his eyes were closed and wished things were not so complicated. 'How can you be there for me and our baby, if you're with someone else?'

There was no arguing the truth and this too broke his heart as Anakin tightened his grip around Dormé.

She kissed his cheek. 'Anakin, I love you...' she said softly, though her tone sounded desperate as though pleading that all of this would be over in the morning, as though one word from him and it would be nothing more than a nightmare.

Her words of love mirrored his desperation, the longing and the sorrow of a loss that should never have been. 'I love—' he faltered and caught himself knowing Dormé couldn't possibly believe him, not anymore. It was his turn to openly weep and he did so in spite of his attempts to remain strong.

She spoke of her love for him and when he didn't return it, Dormé's fantasies were shattered. She knew he loved her, but could no longer speak of it. He didn't dare to. His tears revealed the truth and she swallowed back tears at his whisper in her thoughts.

_Please don't forget me! _The words whispered he in his mind were unwittingly whispered in Dormé's as well as his heart could no longer remain silent.

Still touching his cheeks, she shook her head, trying to be brave and put on a smile. _I could never forget you, my dearest love. There was no one before you and there will be no one after you._

Loyalty took on a new meaning to Anakin as he caught himself almost speaking of his feelings for Dormé. Anakin struggled to contain his emotions, to showcase some semblance of strength. He had brought this on her after all surely he could be a little less hurtful about it. Dormé had been wounded enough without his sorrow being added to it.

His beloved was the stronger one and her smile spoke of everything he longed to be, and longed to have. Closing his eyes, Anakin tried to smile himself. Even now, there was hope found her words and Anakin clung to them desperately.

_I'll find a way, Dormé. I promise you, I will find a way._

Anakin had faith Dormé would understand the meaning of his words and hoped that the truth behind them would reveal itself sooner rather than later. One day he would return hom to her arms where he belonged. One day it would all be over and it woudl be just the two of them again, as it should have been from the start.

Sighing, she withdrew her hands, preparing to depart for her own apartment. She didn't know what the rest of the day would bring, but she would face it with a heavy heart.

Suddenly, the room felt incredibly cold. Anakin knew he had to leave. He had meetings of his own to attend, duties that would not be ignored, but it didn't stop him from reaching out and trying to embrace Dormé one last time.

Even though she dropped her hands and had resigned herself to leaving the room, Anakin didn't seem to want to let her go and this too tore at her heart. Perhaps it would have been easier if he just said he didn't love her anymore, that he found someone new. Then she would have been able to move on eventually. But he still loved her and wanted to be with her, in spite of his plans which involved marrying a senator. And it was her love for him that could never be erased that allowed her to remain in his arms, staring up into his blue eyes, wondering what the future would bring. She wondered if they would ever have a chance to be a family or if this was really the end of it all.

Anakin held onto Dormé as though he were a drowning man. A shaky sigh escaped his lips as he struggled not to spill more tears. Her amber eyes met his own and all Anakin saw was sorrow and forgiveness. It was almost too much to bear, but just when Anakin was certain he couldn't take it anymore, Dormé was leaning in kissing his lips.

As painful as it was, she wanted him to remember her, to remember what they had and how much she loved him. Even if she were to never see him again, even if their baby never had a chance to meet him, at least he wouldn't forget her. She prayed he wouldn't forget her, for she knew she would never be able to forget him. He was her first and only love.

He readily returned it with all the love he bore for her and held her tightly before reluctantly ending the kiss and letting her go.

Dormé knew she had to leave and she did so without looking back, though her feet were heavy. It was as though her very being knew that a part of her would be left with him, a part of her that she would never get back unless he returned to her life.

Watching Dormé walk out of his life was the most painful experience Anakin had even known. Not even the passing of his mother could quite compare with this and once he was alone, Anakin quickly wiped away the tears and departed for the temple, feeling as though his soul was now dying without her.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - Saché makes Dormé an incredibly generous offer that is not to be refused.


	14. A Farewell

When Dormé returned to her apartment in the handmaiden's quarters, she didn't bother turning on the lights. She knew her way, even in the dark and she didn't want to look in the mirror. She prepared for bed, even though it was still early, for she had no desire to see or speak to anyone else.

Now Dormé wasn't sure she would be able to stay here, serving a mistress that stole her husband away from her. Even though Amidala didn't know about their marriage or her true affections for Anakin, even though she had no clue about Anakin's true reasons for marrying her, Dormé didn't know if she would be able to stand seeing them together, even if it they were just conversing in the same room.

Minutes ago, Dormé had been excited about telling Anakin about their baby. Minutes ago, she was just a young wife and soon-to-be-mother, wanting to share the good news with her husband. Now Dormé was a pregnant teenager without any support, who was utterly alone.

Sleep never came to Dormé, but she felt lethargic and remained in bed even after the normal sleeping hours came and went.

The morning brought on her duties, this time she no longer had to play decoy and it was almost a relief to be in the inconsequential garbs of a handmaiden. Now she would be ignored and unimportant to others unless a security need arose and Dormé was OK with that.

Saché was unaware of Dormé's condition but knew something was wrong. She had never seen Dormé so withdrawn or sad for that matter. Not understanding she tried her best to treat the young woman with care permitting her not to do anything too strenuous. In the end, Saché couldn't help herself and despite Soren's warning that it was best to leave the girl alone the older handmaiden eventually found a way to pull Dormé aside.

'Wha—' she began but Saché was much quicker than her.

'Maybe you should call it a day. Don't get me wrong, but you look like you haven't slept a wink,' Saché said in concern.

'It's fine—I'm fine, really,' she insisted.

Saché furrowed her brow as she gave Dormé a skeptical look. 'Dormé, I may have my moments, but even I can see you're worn ragged. Is everything okay? I mean—I'm not the greatest person to bounce troubles off of but I'm better than some.' Saché knew she'd respect Dormé's privacy if it was requested but at the same time she couldn't help but feel worried about her surrogate sister. She wished she knew of a way to make it easier for Dormé to speak her mind, and tried her best to keep the topic easy going.

Once they were alone in the handmaiden quarters, Saché got Dormé some cold juice to drink and took a seat.

Dormé was shocked that Saché was trying to talk to her about other things outside of handmaiden duty, but the concern was evident in her features. 'I'm not sure this is the best job for me anymore,' she admitted, not wanting to go into detail about how observing, even from afar any interaction whatsoever between her mistress and her former husband was trying on her soul, nor how difficult it was to support and protect the woman that stole him from her.

She was startled to hear Dormé's admittance and raised a brow in confusion.'Why do you say that? Is that little witch Moteé spouting off garbage again? I swear that girl needs to be smacked, or slugged,' Saché said as she shook her head.

She couldn't deny that it was nice to have a seat and even though she thought she wasn't thirsty, the juice was welcomed. 'No, this hasn't got anything to do with Moteé,' Dormé confessed.

'Honestly Dormé, you're the finest decoy I've ever seen since Sabé. If it's about your abilities and duties, let me tell you, you don't have to worry.'

She appreciated Saché's candour and respected her opinion over other handmaidens because Saché wasn't one to give compliments or praise unless she truly meant it. She wasn't fake like some of the others were. 'It's too hard for me—' she tried to admit, but found it incredibly hard. 'I don't think it's the right fit for me anymore and that I really ought to leave, to find something else away form here, away from the Jedi.' Even saying the word was hard without having it coloured with anger, for she too believed it was the Jedi who kept them apart, who had annulled their marriage in the first place. It was easier to admit her desire to be away from Jedi than to admit she needed to be away from Anakin and she knew she couldn't speak of him or their relationship...or their baby...not to anyone, except for Ferus. He was the only one who knew and the only one she could trust.

Saché wondered what the Jedi could possibly have to do with her duties? Saché had a feeling something was going on between padawan Skywalker and Dormé and now wondered just what the little brat did to Dormé. She had yet to learn of the marriage between Padmé and Anakin as she had been busy tending to the investigation pertaining to another attack made this time against Senator Binks.'The Jedi? Is this about—' Saché asked hesitantly. Everyone knew of what had happened that night before Padmé left for Naboo—the senator was only to agitated about it all to bother keeping it a secret. Now Saché was left with the feeling that she wanted to wring the little brats neck for taking advantage of Dormé like that. Even so she didn't want to intrude or pry too much. Support was what Dormé needed now, not another gossip monger looking for juicy information.

'If you are certain that this is what you want—I think I might know of someone who would appreciate your skills. Its not security related but it does require someoene with a good heart. But before you decide anything Dormé, I think you should sleep on it and think it through.

Dormé always knew that her life would be of service, whether to a boss or to other people in some way, but she wasn't sure that serving the woman who was now his wife would be an occupation she could continue. Seeing Anakin and not being able to be with him was too much to bear. She wasn't even taking into account that her pregnancy would make the decision for her. 'I think it might be better if I'm not here, in the senator's service I mean,' Dormé admitted ruefully. 'It's not that I'm not wanted, but rather that it would be too hard to stay.'

'You're one of the finest I've ever seen in Naboo's security and it would really be a shame to lose you because of—something that fell through,' she remarked carefully. 'But if that is what you really want, I will do whatever I can to find you something better. I won't lie; it's not an easy job. I understand your doubts, but I do think you should think it through. I don't want you to regret anything, Dormé. You're too young for that,' Saché said with a sincere look.

Regrets. No, Dormé had no regrets, not marrying or believing she had been married to Anakin for this long, not her dreams that she thought they shared, nor their baby that she already loved more than life itself. But Anakin? Anakin had regrets. He spoke of a few and though he denied it, she couldn't help doubting that she was part of those regrets. 'You don't have to. I know you're busy, but I do appreciate the help. I don't really know what else I would pursue or what people are in need of.'

She smiled to Dormé's words and her doubts as she shook her head. 'Believe me, if you do decide not to persue this job, I think I have the right one for you. Although, it does depend one thing: you'd have to like being around younglings,' Saché confessed as her smile turned sheepish.

Dormé expressed her gratitude to Saché and took the brief repast that her mentor suggested, finding that she was able to sleep a little bit before returning to her duties.

Saché promised she would cover Dormé's shifts and swore she would do whatever she could to ensure Dormé's time away would not be questioned.

However, it wasn't long before Soren Typho was given the medical reports that included Dormé's condition. He endeavoured to speak to Saché alone about this, admitting to the fact that Dormé was no longer fit for duty as it would involve endangering an unborn child's life.

Receiving word about Dormé's pregnancy shocked Saché and her heart went out to Dormé. What was even more shocking was the private news of Padmé's marriage to Anakin Skywalker. At least now the young woman's change of heart made sense. Unfortunately, it also made Saché's view of Anakin turn even sourer than before.

'Just figures the little beast would have his fun and then leave the poor girl alone and with a baby no less!' she snapped to Soren before sighing softly. 'I don't want to be the one to tell her the news. She's already received enough of it already without my adding to it,' Saché confessed. She knew nothing of Dormé's past but knew enough that the young woman wouldn't be able ot survive on severance pay for long.

Soren understood Saché's outrage and frustration upon hearing the news. He slipped his hands over her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. Her muscles were very tight and he wished he could have brought more pleasant news. 'It would be better hearing it from you before Padmé tells her,' he said.

Saché's idea about giving her a place to stay and finding her work warmed Soren's heart, for despite her cool exterior, Saché had a very tender heart and it was one of the things that he loved about her. As they were alone when she told him the idea, he couldn't resist stealing a kiss before returning to his own duties. He already had an idea in mind about how he would help Dormé as well, albeit secretly.

Saché didn't know where she'd be without Soren's clear head and his strength. It was because of him that she found the strength to speak to Dormé of things she knew wasn't going to be easy for Dormé to face.

Unaware of Soren's own plans to help Dormé, the elder handmaiden departed to make arrangements for Dormé's new home to be ready for her arrival.

The next day, she confronted Dormé with the news.

Saché's words came as a shock until she remembered the document she had had to sign when she first became a handmaiden. There was that tiny little clause about medical records and being seen unfit for duty. She had only skimmed that part out of her excitement and desire for the job. Now she wondered if she knew ahead of time if it would have made her reconsider the opportunity.

'Dormé you're going to need a home, something big enough for you and the baby. I was thinking maybe you'd like my place on Naboo. It's on the outskirts of Theed, walking distance from that job I mentioned before. It's an orphanage that is in need of a caregiver. The previous one had retired due to health problems.

'It doesn't pay great, but they'll provide you with meals and anything you may need for your baby,' Saché explained after awkwardly announcing the news that Padmé had yet to share with Dormé. The elder handmaiden thought Dormé would appreciate hearing it from someone she knew and Saché hoped, trusted.

'Are you sure?' she gasped at Saché's words. 'How long would I be able ot stay there?' Dormé still had her home on Coruscant, didn't she? But it was the home she made with Anakin, who had now turned his back on her. It would have to be sold, wouldn't it? The thought was incredibly disheartening.

Dormé's reaction was expected but it didn't stop Saché from wanting to beat Anakin for putting Dormé in this awkward position in the first place.

'As long as you would like,' Saché explained calmly before bringing up the matter of a possible job opening.

'Thank you, Saché,' she replied.

'That is if your interested of course,' Saché added with a sheepish look. Saché left out the extensive praise that she gave to the orphanage of Dormé's work habits and her ability to perform the job, should she accept. Needless to say they were hopeful and eager to learn if Dormé would take the position.

Dormé's eyes filled with unshed tears as her mentor said she would be able to stay there without an end date. The depth of her appreciation and respect for Saché would only grow from this and she felt entirely unworthy of this kindness. 'Yes,' she admitted, nodding, 'I would like that very much. Thank you.'

'Did she give you a timeframe of when I needed to be out of here?' She wondered if she would be able to see Anakin again or if it was for the best that she didn't.

Saché furrowed her brow as she sighed softly. 'I don't imagine she'll give giving you alot of time. In this line of work even the simplest of tasks can be dangerous, especially for an unborn child,' she confessed softly.

She had to ask about how long she had before she was expected to leave and the answer seemed reasonable. 'I understand,' Dormé replied, feeling as though this was yet another crossroads in her life in which she would be going down a path, never to look back.

'Just promise me you'll keep in touch.' The words were meant to light and teasing, but they came out alot more serious than she would have liked.

Saché's request brought new tears to her eyes and she couldn't help shedding them. She gave her mentor a hug, saying, 'I promise, Saché. Thank you so much...for everything...'

Saché blushed feeling awkward but touched by Dormé's statement. Like herself, Saché knew Dormé was not one for flowery words or praise, when she gave gratitude it was heartfelt. The same could be said of tears which was the reason that Saché found herself blinking back a few of her own at the sight of them. She fervently embraced Dormé in turn, feeling a wave of relief to her words. She never realised how much she would miss and already missed her surrogate sister until that moment and knew that Dormé would not back down on her promise.

'It's been my pleasure—I'm going to miss you, Dormé. You take care of yourself; otherwise I'll just have to come after you and you don't want that,' Saché said in far more serious tones than she would have liked.

When Dormé released her, she wiped her eyes. As she rose to return to her quarters to begin packing, she paused momentarily. With everything that Saché was doing for her, Dormé felt that she really ought to tell her at least part of the truth behind all of this. 'I married him first,' she said sadly. 'I suppose it doesn't matter now...to tell you that...'

Blinking away unshed tears, Saché tried to put on her best face reminding herself that Dormé would most certainly keep in touch. However no matter how hard Saché prepared her mind for the departure nothing could have prepared her for Dormé's sudden confession. Stunned, Saché stared at Dormé in disbelief and confusion. She wanted to ask what had happened, why the falling out. Most of all she wanted to beat Anakin within an inch of his life for hurting Dormé as he had, but Saché knew neither reactions were the answer. Nor was it something Dormé would want. So instead she fell silent and did her best to help Dormé pack while carefully hiding some extra credits in one of the pockets of her traveling case. After all everyone needed to eat and moving, no matter how cheap the journey always had hidden expenses.

Most of the thing Dormé had in this apartment were things belonging to the Naboo government. These were things that she knew she needed to leave them in the apartment. She didn't bother saying goodbye to Moteé or some of the elder handmaidens, but Ellé tearfully gave her a hug and said she wanted to see holos of the baby when it arrived.

'I will send you some; I promise,' Dormé replied, swallowing back her tears.

She then returned home, hating to have to pack away all of their things. There were so many gadgets and holodiscs and other things she collected over the years. It was difficult to put everything away, but she tried not to dwell on it. All the boxes were clearly labelled so the shipping company would have no problem getting them to Saché's place.

But when it was time for her to pack the rest of the things in the bedroom, Dormé was breaking down again. Their bed still smelled like him. She curled up on the bed, clutching his pillow as she wept.

* * *

Anakin initially chose to avoid Dormé, out of guilt and out of fear but in the end his desire to see her again overrode his shame. It wasn't long before the young jedi was trying to seek her out once more. Anakin couldn't escape soon enough to see Dormé but the first chance he had the young padawan was racing off ot the handmaidens quarters. Dormé had since left and Saché -furious and demanding was swift to toss Anakin out before he even had a chance to explain himself. With little option left to him Anakin sought out their old home wondering and desperately hoping that he could at least see her one last time. Even if it was only from a distance.

Anakin approached the small building that had once been their home. The memories filled his thoughts and made his heart ache for simpler times when everything was so clear. There was a light in one of the rooms that shone through the window catching his attention. Anakin knew he wasn't really welcome here, not anymore but was unable to resist quietly slipping inside. He tried to convince himself it was only because he wanted to collect his things, but even this lie was too weak for him to believe.

It was the soft sound of Dormé's weeping that caught Anakin's attention and left him hesitant about approaching. But while his mind was cowardly his heart was not and soon he was quietly approaching their bedroom.

So many memories in such a short time. It was almost too much to bear and despite himself Anakin found unshed tears coming to his eyes as well. It wasn't nearly as painful to take in as the sight of Dormé herself weeping while clutching his old pillow as though it were a life preserve.

Anakin knew he should leave but he couldn't bring himself to do so and soon was slipping onto the bed but behind Dormé. Quietly wrapping his arms around her the padawan held her tightly as he closed his eyes and gave a shaky sigh.

'I know I shouldn't be here, but I can't help myself—I miss you too much,' he whispered as he buried his face in her hair.

Dormé didn't know Anakin was there until he felt his arms around her. She inhaled deeply at his words, struggling to swallow back her tears. 'I'm leaving,' she said, 'for Naboo. I lost my job. I've lost everything.'

His eyes widened in horror to Dormé's statement as a cold chill ran down his spine. 'Leaving? Your job?—-' he promptly fell silent knowing he was the reason for it all.

She shifted in his arms so that she could see his face. 'Even if I wanted to stay as a handmaiden, I can't because of the baby. Saché said I could live at her home in Theed. She was kind enough to set me up with a job as well, but—leaving our home, the life we started to build for ourselves...leaving you...'

Dormé then turned to face him and Anakin found himself strugglign against his emotions again. For the first time he was grateful to Saché for her kindness. It would seem despite her temperment and loud mouth she was a good master for Dormé after all.

'-Can't you stay a little while longer? Even another day at least? I need you Dormé—I can't do this alone,' Anakin whispered in desperate tones. Only silence greeted him, but her touch was soothing and soon his fingers too were running through her hair. It wasn't much but he found peace in that though it made his heart ache that he couldn't kiss her lips, but Anakin knew he only had himself to thank.

'Will you let me know where you're living, at least so I can—maybe visit, if you don't mind. I want to see you again, and our baby—' he whispered after a long moment of silence.

Anakin knew he shouldn't have expected a reply but her silence made his heart ache all the more. He wished he knew of a way to undo what had be done, but it was impossible. What had been done, had been done, it still didn't make matters any easier.

He studied Dormé, who in turn studied him. Her amber eyes were filled with all the sorrow he felt and a longing Anakin knew he no longer had the right to return. As though sensing his thoughts Dormé's gaze fell and Anakin felt as though he couldn't breathe.

Her eyes fell momentarily, before imploring him, 'Anakin, why don't we run away? Somewhere far away where they wouldn't expect it, where they wouldn't look for us?'

Dormé's eyes bored into his, begging, longing for that which was taken away from her in a matter of minutes. 'We don't have to take anything with us. I have credits that will last us long enough to get a start somewhere else. Then we can raise our baby together and be a real family, just like we planned. No commitments, no lies...Just the three of us together!'

She didn't care how foolish she sounded, willing to give up Saché's noble offer of a home and assured job. She was thinking with her heart, not her mind. 'We would be happy, wouldn't we?'

Her invitation broke his heart anew and he struggled to find the words to explain to Dormé that her wish was one that he could not grant, not anymore. Closing his eyes he gave a shaky sigh as he bowed his head.

What was he thinking coming back here? He had only wanted to see her again, but now all he had done was add to her pain. Anakin couldn't lie to Dormé. He couldn't refuse her either and so he remained silent holding onto her tightly and praying for an answer that wouldn't do anymore damage than he already had done.

But the answer never came and with a heavy heart Anakin was forced to destroy her one last hope for a future together.

'If I run away, the Jedi will come for us. They can sense my signature through the Force Dormé. It wouldn't be hard for them—And I'm married to Padmé now, whether i like it or not,' he said in shamed tones.

'All I can hope for is to see you when I can—to see our baby and find a way to end this nightmare as soon as I can.'

When he didn't say anything at first, Dormé felt her heart breaking anew. How someone could make her so happy and so sad was entirely confusing to her. None of this was fair and Dormé had no idea that this was just the beginning. So he was truly committed to another woman, despite his proclaimed love for her. Why was he even here then? It hurt to breathe.

How could she ever see him again?

Dormé wanted to hate him. She wanted to curse, to spit, to beat her fists against his body, but she felt as though all the strength had been sapped from her and she could inly look at him despondently.

Whether Anakin belonged to the Jedi, Padmé, or anyone else, he was and always would be the father of her child. She would not refuse him the right to see their baby when he could. After a long moment, she nodded, and informed him of the location of the home she was moving to. 'She said it has a garden and that it's not too far from a lake so we can go there in the summer,' she said, trying to focus on the positive, though she couldn't help wishing he was going with her.

'I hope you will be able to come to visit someday,' she said sadly. 'I want our baby to know you from more than just my stories.'

Dreams that had once been so tangible had now become an impossibility, but Anakin only had himself to thank for that. Yet it didn't stop him from trying to cling onto the one light in the darkness that was his life now. Ever merciful, Dormé spoke of her new home, giving Anakin a ray of hope for the future. It was something he didn't have the sense or courtesy to return or give to his beloved whose heart he broke.

Though legally he was a free man, Anakin felt like he was still a slave and believed that this was the best he could ever hope for. He knew Dormé was strong, far stronger than he would ever be, and knew she didn't need him nearly as much as he needed her. It was for this reason that he was unable to see the true weight of the damage he had done.

Her words both shamed and humbled him leaving Anakin to nod sadly as he struggled to hold her gaze. 'I will visit as often as I can—as often as you well let me. I want to be there for our baby, I need to be there—' Anakin admitted softly. But ultimately he knew that he couldn't be there for them, not the way he wanted to be, the way he should be. It was another dream he had to forfeit and this too was entirely his fault.

'Whenever you can,' she whispered in reply, her dark eyes holding his. 'I know,' she added, stroking his cheek as though she were comforting him and reassuring him that she understood how things had to be now.

As much as Dormé wished he would have taken up her idea about running away, she knew as well as he did that the Jedi would inevitably find them, whether it was a few days or even years. They would find Anakin and take him away from her again. How would this affect their child, if it was a few years down the line and the Jedi came to retrieve him? Would their child never see Daddy again? Would the Jedi want to take their child as well? Anakin knew best in this matter and it was Anakin's advice she would follow.

Anakin's eyes wavered as Dormé' held his gaze. The love he felt and saw in them left him feeling entirely unworthy of it. Her fingers stroking his cheeks was too much and he closed his eyes fighting back the tears Anakin knew he didn't deserve to shed.

Dormé kissed his forehead, though she longed to kiss his lips again, knowing it was not her place, not anymore. She smiled sadly at him and was about to speak, when the front door chimed.

He tightened his embrace around her petite form, Dormé kissed his brow and Anakin could only bow his head. Choking back a sob he succumbed to the one weakness he swore he wouldn't. 'I'm so so—'

He never did finish his apology as the door chimed causing him to jump in surprise. Had he not been so distracted, he would have sensed Saché's presence, and her concern.

Sitting up on the edge of the bed, he watched in pained silence as Dormé slipped off to answer the door. Though he knew things between them were over, Anakin couldn't help but feel more empty than usual as he watched her walk away.

Unaware of the company Dormé had Saché approached the young maidens chambers with a data pad with information Dormé would need to find her place and who to speak to about her new job. She also carried a ticket that would ensure the young woman's journey to Naboo would be without any cost. Saché waited patiently for the young woman to answer and hoped Dormé wouldn't mind her unexpected visit. In truth, it was but another excuse to see her surrogate sister once more and to make sure everything was alright with the young mother-to-be.

Dormé straightened her hair and gown quickly before answering the door. 'Saché,' she breathed, a little startled to see her here. 'Come in,' she kindly invited, unaware of just how tense this visit could be between her former husband and her mentor.

Saché smiled sadly to the sight of Dormé and felt her cheeks warm as she noted the young woman's ruffled hair. 'I'm sorry I didn't realise you—I could come back later I just—'

Dormé waved her hand, gesturing for her to come in.

Saché's sad smile turned sheepish as she thrust the data pad and ticket into Dormé's hands. 'Here...For you I mean, so all bases are covered and things like that,' she admitted in awkward tones.

Saché's eyes drifted past Dormé and to the bedchambers where Anakin had quietly emerged. Gone was the sheepish big sister, in its place now stood the defensive bodyguard who moved swiftly forward towards the unwitting padawan. 'YOU!' she hissed no longer caring for the moment that Dormé was in the room. Without warning she grabbed her laser pistol with one hand, while the other slammed Anakin against the back wall.

'Listen to me you little piece of puta you have some nerve coming here after what you did to Dormé!'

Hearing Saché's exclamation, Dormé turned swiftly to see Anakin up against the wall with a pistol at his head. 'Saché! Stop!' She nearly dropped the gifts Saché had given her, but quickly placed them on a table.

Anakin's eyes widen as he looked to Dormé in confusion. He never did have a chance to respond to even react when he suddenly found himself being pushed up against the wall with a laser pistol to his head. 'What the _iquicha_?' he blurted out. The gun was pressed harder to his head and Anakin looked again to Dormé as if asking her to get the crazy woman off him.

'What are you doing? Leave him alone!' Dormé shouted.

Anakin eyes widened in confusion and horror as he suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of a laser pistol set on the highest level. The rage and hate he saw in Saché's eyes was terrifying as it reminded him of Tattooine, of the young boy, who became a monster through the death of a entire village.

'Don't do this—you don't want to do this,' he tried to whisper.

Saché's grip tightened as her frown deepened. 'And if I do? What are you going to do about it?' she snapped.

Dormé marching over to them and trying to get Saché to put the pistol away. She didn't think of grabbing her sword, for it was no longer in her possession anyway, nor did she have any type of weapon in their home.

Dormé wrestled the blaster away, causing Saché to accidentely fire a shot that put a hole in the ceiling of Dormé's quarters.

'What the frak! Dormé, I could have—'

Anakin moved swiftly, taking control of the situation and soon slammed his fist into Saché's jaw causing the woman to go limp.

His heart continued to race wildly in his chest. As he met Dormé's gaze Anakin couldn't help but wonder how different his life might have been if someone had stepped in and stopped him that fateful night on Tatooine. Would it have made any difference? It was a question Anakin knew he would never know the answer to.

Dormé didn't have a chance to stop him and gaped at the figure of her unconscious mentor. 'Anakin—' she exclaimed as she manoeuvred to help Saché onto the couch.

'Dormé—I'm sorry I didn't—what just happened?' Anakin stammered as his mind struggled to comprehend Saché's disturbed behavior, as well as the fact that it almost cost his life.

Dorme looked between the two of them, shaking her head.

'Are you okay?' Not exactly the right question given to the right person but Anakin didn't care much about Saché and was entirely concerned for Dormé.

'She was coming here to give me a ticket for the transport, and more information on her home in Theed...'

Dormé's explanation left him feeling both divided and guilty. Despite having felt no guilt over knocking Saché out Anakin couldn't help but give Dormé a hand putting Saché onto the couch.

Upon recalling everything she said, she felt guilty. 'I might have told her that we used to be married... I'm sorry. I didn't think it would matter since it's over now,' she admitted.

'You told her? But why?' Anakin gasped in shock. He didn't know why it bothered him so much but Anakin knew somewhere deep down that no one must ever find out about Dormé and what she truly meant to him.

'I didn't tell her anything else; I promise. I just—She had been so kind to offer the place to live and the new job...' Anakin's reaction startled Dormé and in that moment, he had her complete attention. She tried to explain, but the horrified expression on his face made her feel absolutely guilty. 'I had only just found out about Padmé and you—I didn't think it mattered anymore!'

'Dormé—you shouldn't have—No one knows about us,' he gasped unaware of how it would all appear to Dormé.

Fresh tears came to her eyes, which made her curse inwardly at how much her heart was breaking. 'I only mentioned it passing, that it was in the past, no longer—no one else knows and Saché won't tell. Besides, you said it so clearly before that you've married Padmé.

'I know, you're right—its just—' Anakin immediately fell silent his expression troubled and shamed.

'The Jedi don't know about her yet, do they? About your new marriage... Will they have it annulled to?' Her voice was shaky and uneven as she thought about it.

How could he hope to explain to Dormé what Anakin didn't fully understand himself? When she spoke of the Jedi knowing of the marriage and the possibility of having it annulled Anakin couldn't deny the rush of hope found in that statement. But the memory of his dying mother's final words swiftly returned to him and he knew there would be no turning back. Obi-Wan couldn't abandon the promise he made to their father, and Anakin knew he should do the same. But it was so incredibly hard, especially when he knew that it was Dormé whom he swore himself to. 'I don't know. No one save Padmé's decoy's know about the marriage,' Anakin confessed softly.

'Tell me, Anakin did you tell her you love her? Please, just tell me—' She thought perhaps if he admitted he loved someone else that it would be easier to bear their separation, that in time she too could move on, that maybe her heart would heal...

Nothing could have prepared Anakin for Dormé's next question and in stunned silence he stared at her in disbelief. His mind reeling as a horrifying truth revealed itself.

Dormé was a strong woman Anakin knew that and knew that nothing ever held her back or down, that was until he came into her life. One single lie and Dormé could finally be free of him. She could finally let go and move on, he would become but one foul memory amongst so many other sad ones. Then she would have a chance to find another, someone whom she deserved, a man who could raise their baby and love her the way a father and husband should.

But one single truth would hold her to him of that Anakin was certain. Dormé's love was his greatest gift and her greatest entrapment. So long as it was clear that he too was bound to her there would be no need for Dormé to move on. The hope of his possible return would be too much to resist. She would forever remain within sight, but just out of reach.

Anakin knew what he should do, knew what had to be done. But his heart was weak and he was by nature a selfish man who desired nothing more than what he believed was his. Anakin needed Dormé because he loved her and with this in mind he succumbed to the truth and meeting her gaze silently shook his head.

'I'm sorry, Dormé, but I don't love her. I don't think I ever will,' he whispered softly.

Meeting his eyes, in that moment, Dormé longed to kiss him and was about to when, thankfully, Saché awoke.

Saché groaned in pain. Her jaw was killing her and though she were still half asleep, she had no doubt in her mind the cause of it.'...Dormé?' her eyes fluttered open as she tried to sit up swiftly. The room spun but she was determined to get up and if Anakin was still there, throw him out too.

'I'm so sorry, Saché,' Dormé said, racing over to her with an ice pack. 'Here, put this on...Just rest here a little while,' she suggested.

Saché sat up a little too swiftly and cursed softly as her hand fluttered to her mouth. She graciously accepted the icepack and murmured an apology before her eyes found Anakin. She was in no state for a fight but it was clear she was willing to risk the chance should Skywalker do something wrong.

Dormé looked over to Anakin. She didn't know he had come to collect his things, for she had packed everything and planned on taking the memories with her. She quickly put in all the information about the location of her home, her new job, and anything else he might need, so that he could sneak away to see her whenever he was able to. 'This has everything on it,' she said, placing the datadisc in his hand. 'I'll take care of Saché. I'm sure you're the last person she wants to see for a little while.'

Anakin numbly accepted the datapad and weakly nodded in agreement to Dormé's words. 'I guess this is it then?' he said softly, while trying to ignore Saché's glare.

Her heart begged him not to say goodbye to her, even when they first became friends it was the most difficult thing to have to do.

Without thinking Anakin gave Dormé a quick kiss on her cheek and swiftly left the room.

It was Saché's movement that finally alerted Dormé to the fact that she was not alone and that this truly was time for her to go. Difficult as it was, she kept all the things they picked out together for their home, having a servicer droid take them to the transport for her. She gave Saché a hug and thanked her again before taking leave of her.

Her heart was heavy as she bid her mentor farewell and boarded the vessel that would take her back to Naboo. It was a good thing she didn't have to return to Uriash or else Dormé didn't think she would be able to handle this trip.

Not long after the ship took to the stars, Dormé received a message from Anakin. She read it over a few times before putting the datapad into her carry-on luggage. She wasn't sure what to say to him yet, though her mind reeled with all that she wanted to say but couldn't.

Saché provided so much more than Dormé imagined, even a private room for her to relax in during the journey. She knew how expensive it must have been and felt entirely unworthy of the kindness shown to her. However, she didn't let it go to waste and stretched out on the bed, trying to sleep for a few hours before they arrived on Naboo.

Saché's home, it seemed, was not used very much at all during the year, though there were servants living a good life on the property. All of them expected Dormé's arrival and were very kind to her as though she were the one paying their wages. They seemed surprised that she expressed the desire to cook her own meals.

It wasn't until the end of her first day on Naboo that she was able to send Anakin a note without crying. Her reply was also brief, but expressed her love and desire to see him when he was able to. Part of her wished that whenever he was able to come that he would say the marriage was annulled and that he had come back to her, or that she would be able to woo him into doing so, that the love they bore one another would defeat all the odds placed against them. The better part of her knew this would not be the case.

Her new job was far more fascinating and rewarding than any of the jobs she previously had and though she worked long hours, she was not defeated or worn by the end of the day. The children were lovely and the encouragement she found in the owner's words made her feel as though she would be able to handle being a mother, even though she was still so young.

Dormé also found out that she had a lot to learn about pregnancy and children, and was very grateful to the older woman's wisdom and support, in addition to the plethora of reading material she received. She was also glad that the owner did not pry into the circumstances of her pregnancy or ask about the father. It was a relief not to have to explain herself, at least for the time being. It would seem the other people she worked with were unaware of her condition.

Despite her personal promise to let Dormé settle in Saché couldn't help but keep in touch with the young handmaiden, if only to check up on her arrival and ensure that everything was up to par.

_'If you need anything, anything at all be sure to charge it to my account—and don't give me this I couldn't possibly nonsense cause if I find out you haven't been I'll just have to pay you a visit myself and you woudln't want that,'_ she warned in her message before adding she would have to come by anyway to visit.

Saché missed the young vibrant handmaiden and found the halls of the handmaidens wings much quieter, boring even, without the sound of Dormé's laughter. She hoped her surrogate sister was doing alright though she was confident that Dormé would settle in quickly. She also hoped that Anakin was staying far away from her as well, as that was the last thing Dormé needed was that louse!

* * *

A/N: Coming up - Anakin struggles to keep his friendship with Dormé a secret.


	15. A Different Type of Friendship

Anakin's life seem to move to a crawl in Dormé's absence. Life at the temple almost became an escape for him. Though a part of him longed for the day that the Jedi would learn of his marriage to Padmé, so as to free him from her, Anakin knew it would not be possible. He made a promise to fulfil his mother's wish. It was the only way he would be able to forgive himself for not saving her.

The days dragged on. The missions he found himself embarking on and the long hours at Padmé's private quarters caused Anakin's thoughts to grow increasingly dark. He wondered how his wife, his real wife on Naboo, was doing and if she would ever allow him into her life again. Anakin wondered what he would do if she wouldn't and almsot hoped Dormé wouldn't reply to his messages, lest her reply contain the dreaded words he didn't want to hear.

Anakin's journeys ensured that he wouldn't be able to see either Dormé or his new wife, Padmé. Though he didn't miss Padmé, being in the absence of his beloved consumed him. He promised himself that he wouldn't touch the dark side of the Force, but it wasn't long before Anakin found himself unable to resist its poisoned charm. Using the dark side was the only way to keep everything in order: the anger, sorrow, and shame. But it wasn't without its price. Anakin found that sleep was evading him and his appetite was soon becoming more repressed. With its use came horrible side effects such as nausea, black outs, and migraines. There was also the matter of being moody and feeling entirely out of sorts afterwards. Though Anakin had faith the symptoms would pass with time, they didn't.

In the end, it seemed only thoughts of Dormé made sense to him anymore. Only her memory managed to keep him sane, to remind him of who he was and what his heart desired. He thought of their baby often as well and took to making little trinkets for their child though he didn't know if it was a boy or a girl.

While he was on the frontlines, Anakin found a message waiting for him. To his great fear and joy, it was from none other than Dormé. With shaking fingers, he activated it and after a good time alone, he finally found the nerve to listen to the message.

Her words both filled him with such joy and broke his heart at the same time. Anakin gently fingered the holo-graphic image while putting the words to memory. Even now, the sound of her voice made his heart race. Later that day, the mission reached its completion and to his relief, word was received that they would be returning to Coruscant for a couple of days to prepare for their next mission. Anakin had no intention of returning just yet and when the time came he conveniently found the perfect excuse to depart for Naboo. He was certain Obi-Wan wouldn't buy it and thus relayed the message to one of the officers instead.

But now he was finally able to go home and Anakin couldn't have been happier for it. No more nightmares, loss of sleep, waking up to find dead bodies or missing things that he shouldn't have missed. He would be returning to his sanctuary and Anakin couldn't have been happier for it.

Arriving to Naboo, he nervously clutched onto the bracelet he made for Dormé and thought of the hair ribbons he had traded supplies for. It wasn't much and in truth Anakin knew it wasn't entirely appropriate, but he didn't know how else to react or even how to behave in the young woman's presence anymore. Though he knew where he stood, where he _should_ stand, Anakin couldn't deny that it was just all wrong. But he only had himself to blame for it and so he kept his thoughts to himself and instead focused on the positive.

Upon landing on Naboo, he sent Dormé a brief message to let her know he would be coming soon. As he found his way to her new home, Anakin couldn't help but wonder if Dormé would ever know that she was his sanctuary, that she was the only person keeping him sane now.

Anakin had two days to enjoy this little sanctuary before reality would pull him away, two days to live as a human being not some chosen one or even a Jedi warrior. The thought was bliss and as he rang the chime to Dormé's new home Anakin couldn't help but smile to himself, albeit nervously. He wondered if Dormé was as excited to see him as he was to see her but didn't let himself think too much upon it. The doubts and fears were hard to ignore, the shame even more so but Anakin wouldn't allow himself to consider this either.

* * *

Several months passed had passed since Dormé arrived on Naboo and since then, she had become used to being back. It had been many years since she was last here and she was surprised that none of the bad memories of this place accompanied her. Now it was entirely different. The styles of clothing, the habits of the people in Theed, all of it was quite different to that of Uriash where she was originally from.

But Dormé had also changed. No longer was she a little girl of no means, but a strong woman with various long hours of work experience. She was also going to be a mother and with this, Dormé looked at the world differently. Now she had a little life growing within her that she already loved and wanted to protect from the bad things in the galaxy.

The children she was responsible for taking care of were not only a great lesson to her, but she was also able to teach them things as well. The looks on their faces when she told them about Coruscant and about the senator made her smile. Their laughter and amusement also made her happy and she told Saché all about it in her holomessages to her mentor.

When she received a holo from Anakin saying that he would be coming soon, she was floored with happiness. It sounded as though he would be arriving soon and this gave her little time to prepare, but she hoped no one would mind if she took off a little early.

Racing home, Dormé asked one of the servants if they would mind preparing a meal for two people and then was about to change when the image in the mirror stopped her. She now noticed her small torso had a very little bump to indicate that she was with child. It caught her attention because she truthfully had been so busy that she didn't notice it before.

Now that she considered how long it had been since her medical examination, she realised that she was four months pregnant. This brought a smile to her face. Even though she hadn't been to a doctor since then she hadn't thought about it or was aware of the importance of such matters. However, she began to wonder if she would be able to find out if it was going to be a boy or a girl.

Upon hearing the chime, Dormé wasn't sure if it was a delivery or if Anakin was already here, but soon a servant was rushing over to tell her that a young man was hear, one who looked like a Jedi. Dormé cursed herself for having gotten sidetracked. She wasn't changed! But the eagerness to see him after so long was too much to resist, so she rushed to the entrance where he was being shown in.

Anakin felt incredibly nervous at the thought of seeing Dormé again, but was even more excited at the prospect. Biting his lip, he nervously fiddled with his utility belt while anxiously awaiting her to answer the door. He didn't know what to expect but when the door open he found himself unable to resist a nervous smile. Dormé looked utterly radiant. Everything about her exuded life from her strange Force aura to the small curve of her petite torso. After witnessing so much death the sight of her was almost too much.

Dormé felt movement for the first time, the first time that she registered anyway and she gasped.

Anakin drew in a sharp breath at the same time Dormé gasped.

She couldn't resist greeting Anakin with a big hug.

Dormé's tight embrace assured him that it wasn't anything to worry about and soon Anakin was returning it with equal fervency. Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply feeling as though he had been holding his breath the entire time they were apart. Eventually he withdrew and gave her a sheepish grin his hands slipping to her torso causing his smile to widen in awe.

'I can feel it—our baby,' he whispered in awe as he couldn't help but reach out to touch their little one with the Force. It was the first time in months since he had used the Light Side and yet it didn't cause him any resistance when he touched it so as to caress their child's Force signature with his own.

'You can? Me too—I felt it just now for the first time,' she said excitedly. 'He or she must know you're here. That's all I can think of.' She wanted to kiss him, but thankfully one of the servants interrupted.

Anakin beamed in joy to her words as he suddenly wondered too if they were having a little girl or boy. In truth he would have been thrilled either way and was almost about to draw her into a passionate kiss when he caught himself. Reality wasn't nearly as kind as it used to be and he was grateful for the interruption lest Dormé see how close he had come to insulting her love for him.

'Dormé, the food is ready,' she said.

'Oh thank you, Una,' Dormé said, grinning. 'The moment I heard you were coming, I asked them to fix us something in case you were hungry after your journey.' She gasped as though she was scandalized. 'I didn't even have a chance to change from work!'

Anakin felt his cheeks warm to Dormé's hospitality and couldn't help but laugh at her words before taking it all in once more. He wondered if she had any idea just how beautiful she looked to him in that moment. With a sheepish grin, Anakin silently shook his head at her words.

She undid her apron that had the insignia of the home she worked in embroidered on the outside. It was covered in colouring utensils and paints that the children had been using that day. Her hair was a mess and falling out of the updo she did that morning. Smearing her hair away from her eyes, she said, 'I must look a mess!'

'You look wonderful,' he confessed in quiet, but sincere tones. It wasn't long after that he found himself being drawn away down the halls. The scent of fresh food smelled wondrous, but was nothing nearly as wonderful as the soft scent of waterflowers that he breathed in upon first embracing Dormé. But such thoughts weren't allowed, not anymore and so he soon buried them.

'I don't want to keep them waiting since they made all the effort to cook it for us. I feel bad since I usually do it myself.'

'But you have cooked for us many times, Dormé. It's only fair that we return the gesture,' Una replied with a grin.

Anakin didn't know what to make of it all and felt incredibly humbled by the gesture. He listened in to the maiden speaking ot Dormé and couldn't help but smile to the obvious respect and care shown towards Dormé. It was a relief to know that she was in good company, at least better company than some of the handmaidens she had known before. It also made his heart ache for Dormé all the more knowing that this was a life he would never know or share with her.

'In here, milady,' Una said, beaming as she showed her the setup.

'Oh wow,' Dormé gasped. 'I've never even been in here,' she admitted to Anakin. It was beautiful, especially all the expensive dishes. It made her feel like royalty, at least for the moment. She wasn't aware of the proper customs for seating arrangements either so she sat next to Anakin like they usually did when she made meals for them in their old home.

The dining hall was big, certainly larger than anything Anakin had ever seen before. He glanced around in awe and gave Dormé an impish grin to her surprise. 'Really? You've never seen this room before?' he asked in surprise. 'I thought you might have decorated it,' he confessed noting that the decor was somewhat similar to Dormé's tastes.

'I wish!' It was by far one of the most gorgeous of all the rooms in this home that she had seen. 'I've only been in a few of the rooms since it's not really my house, you know? I don't want to intrude on Saché's private things.'

'This is her place? Wow, I'm surprised she doesn't have any security droids guarding the property so as to shoot me on sight,' he semi-joked though he had a feeling if Saché knew of his presence here she would. Anakin also had a feeling that Saché would be more miffed about Dormé not enjoying her entire home as opposed to respecting her privacy.

The meal was excellent and despite himself Anakin couldn't help but steal long glances at Dormé who looked so beautiful. It was hard to remain focused and remind himself that she was no longer his to have, not anymore.

After their meal, she asked if he might like to go for a walk or if he was tired. She already began helping to clear their plates and bring it to the kitchen for the droids to clean up.

The invitation for a walk reminded him of the gifts he wanted to give Dormé and when she rose to clear the plates he too was soon moving to help, just he used to when they were married.

One of the elder servants who worked in the home during the day approached Dormé in a motherly tone, saying, 'You didn't eat all of your vegetables—you know the baby needs the nutrients. Did you make an appointment yet?'

'Oh, no I haven't—' Dormé said as she tucked in to the vegetables.

Noting the elder servants speaking to Dormé about their baby he couldn't help but wonder just how much they knew of the child and of their relationship. Concern filled his thoughts though he remained silent on the matter. He wondered if coming here was such a good idea after all. Dormé was his sanctuary and the thought of others learning of her importance to him filled Anakin with a sense of dread. It seemed the entire universe sought to tear them apart leaving him with the desperate hope that if no one knew of them, that no further harm could be done.

'Would you want to go with me, if I see a doctor?' she asked as they headed outdoors. 'I understand if you would rather not. I heard that they might be able to tell now if it's a boy or girl. I know some people like to wait until it's born, but I'm impatient,' she admitted, grinning at the thought.

'You wouldn't mind? I mean it's alright if I go with you?' Anakin asked in hopeful tones. Given all that he had done the padawan knew he couldn't blame her if Dormé decided that she didn't want him around to witness their baby's growth. At the same time he still desperately hoped that she would let him be a part of it all and was incredibly relieved to discover that she did.

'I'd love to! I wasn't sure if you'd want me to—I mean—,' he glanced away briefly and gave a quick shrug not wanting to think about such things now.

'So once we find out, can we decide on names? Or do you want to wait till the baby is born?' Anakin asked unable to deny his excitement about it all. He knew that some traditions preferred to name new-borns at birth and wasn't sure if the Naboo were one of them.

'I can't wait to meet them, our little one—' Anakin added with a grin. For the moment, Padmé and his betrayal to Dormé were the furthest from his mind.

As they stepped outside, Anakin found the property to be vast as well as beautiful. He never imagined that Saché would be interested in rock gardens or forests and couldn't help but imagine, albeit briefly that this was their home. With an arm linked in Dormé's it was all too easy to forget that he wasn't married to her, not any longer and soon he was eagerly revealing his gifts.

Fiddling about with his utility belt, he found them. With a sheepish smile, he offered the necklace and bracelet to Dormé. Though they were crude in design it was clear that a great deal of care went into their creations. 'It's not much I mean I've never been very good with jewellery, things like that but—I saw these little red stones and thought, well if I polished them they might make a nice bracelet or necklace,' he confessed in sheepish tones.

When Anakin removed the jewellery from his pouch, she gasped. 'For me?'

She examined each piece carefully, her eyes wide. 'You made this? How? This is beautiful! Thank you!' She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

It was only when she kissed his cheek did reality return to him leaving Anakin feeling sheepish but still humbled by it all. Dormé didn't really have to see him, nor did she need to accept his gestures of affection, yet she did knowing the damage he had done to her life.

'Maybe you could help me put it on?' she requested. 'It's a bit hard with just one hand,' she said, blushing deeply.

As he slipped the bracelet onto her wrist and the necklace around her neck Anakin was mindful to ensure that Dormé wouldn't see the unshed tears that came to his eyes. 'I wasn't sure if you'd like it—I've never really been one for making jewellery. I tried once before—didn't quite work out as planned,' he confessed. He decided now was not the best of times to bring up who the initial piece of jewellery was for, or that the symbols carved on it had been inaccurate. Thus turning the supposed common Tatooine blessing into a curse.

His gift made her feel as though she were queen of Naboo. She knew she would wear these every day with pride, even though no one would know the true meaning behind them. To Dormé they were more than just a gift, but a symbol of Anakin's affection and his promise. 'I don't know how you did it, but it's a work of art, Anakin,' she replied, turning so that she could look at him once more. 'Thank you so much.'

His cheeks warmed in humble honour as Dormé took in the gifts he made her. He hadn't expected Dormé to appreciate them as much as she did and it brought him such joy that she sincerely enjoyed the presents made. Dormé always had a way of making him feel as though he were something so much greater than he was and as she spoke of his gift being art Anakin bit his lip and fiddled with his utility belt sheepishly. 'I didn't think it was that great but—I mean,' he gave a boyish grin. 'I'm glad you liked it.'

As they took a tour of the gardens, Dormé spoke of what she had been up to since her arrival and asked of his own adventures while he was away. She didn't want to ask about Padmé, if he had been with her since then and part of her didn't want to know as it was too painful to think of. She also spoke of the servants, most of whom went to their own homes at night and of their habits. She wanted Anakin to be comfortable here, even though it wasn't their home.

He was grateful that Dormé didn't speak of Padmé, as it made the dream of being there so much more enjoyable. It also made things appear more real, as though everything was as it used to be. Anakin loved hearing of Dormé's _adventures_ and was so happy that she enjoyed her new job. He imagine the little ones loved her as much as she loved them. Anakin was equally contented to know that she was respected and treated well here.

When asked he spoke of his experiences with the Jedi the more amusing tales of his clumsy nature and the time he saved his Master from Gundarks which even now made Anakin laugh to the memory. He also mentioned the chancellor and the elder man's kindness and understanding.

Anakin's stories made her laugh at various points and she had to tease him about his storytelling skills improving. There were many times in the past in which he just wouldn't speak of things that happened on his missions. Though she was never one to pry, she always loved when he spoke of his adventures, having only been on one of them herself. She imagined what it would be like to go on another mission with him, only imagined that she was a trained warrior too and helping him out on his escapades.

Dormé also loved walking the grounds with him, arm-in-arm, just as though they were still married. In her heart, she was still his wife, but out here on Naboo with him alone, it was as though they were in fact a normal married couple expecting their first child.

Anakin had forgotten how wondrous it was to enjoy such simple and peaceful moment with his beloved. It was also only too easy to forget that none of it was real.

Later, when they returned indoors, she commed the nearest medical facility to see if they would be able to see her for a checkup.

'You are several weeks overdue for an exam if you're in your twentieth week!' the nurse chided.

How was he to know that Dormé should have been visiting the medical centres more often? The nurse chastised them both though Anakin tried to sputter out and explanation that it wasn't like they were taught these things in school. The nurse just shook her head and informed Dormé to show up as soon as she could.

'You must come in as soon as possible! We will make room in the schedules...'

'Oh, well thank you!' Dormé replied, blushing before shutting off the comm.

He couldn't help but snicker once the connection ended as the woman's shocked expression amused him. 'Force you'd think she's never known a mother whose missed an appointment before!' he teased in amusement before taking Dormé's hand and giving it a squeeze.

'Looks like we can go now,' she said to Anakin.

'I'm ready when you are, my lady,' he proudly announced with a wink before leading Dormé to his ship.

* * *

Upon arriving at the medical facility, the nurse whom they had spoken to over the holocomm, greeted them and escorted them to an empty room. She had Dormé change into a medical gown before laying down on an examination bed.

The nurse though strict was kind which was a relief for Anakin who was nervous for Dormé. He didn't know what to expect of it or what they would do to his beloved which also made him feel more protective of Dormé than usual.

Holding Dormé's hand and remaining close to her side, Anakin watched as a medical droid drew blood for examination. The last thing he expected was to be able to see their little one on the screen. The sight of their little one filled him with a new sense of awe and joy. Unshed tears came to his eyes as he took it all in while his arms instinctively wrapped around Dormé's petite form.

'This is the head, the hands, the feet...' the lady pointed out to them. 'Your son.'

'A boy? It's a boy?' Dormé asked.

They were going to have a son, a little boy! He beamed as he looked to Dormé in joy. 'A little boy! Isn't that wonderful? We're going to have a little boy!' he said with a contented sigh. Though sex hardly mattered to Anakin being able to witness and learn of their baby's sex made it all the more real for him. It was a wondrous moment to say the very least.

But then Anakin's eyes settled on the strange form in the little one's head Anakin immediately spoke out at the same time as Dormé did. 'What's in his face?' he blurted out.

'He's sucking his thumb,' the nurse replied, smiling before turning her attention back to the monitors.

The nurse soon clarified and Anakin felt his cheeks burn to the discovery. 'Oh!' he looked to Dormé and gave a sheepish grin, 'I didn't know.'

Then the nurse faced both of them, adding, 'You're going to need supplements. You aren't getting enough iron.'

Anakin's fears grew once more, 'Is that serious? I mean is she going to be okay? What about the baby? Does he need supplements too?'

'I hope it won't come to that. That's why Mother has to make sure she eats enough of the right things because she's eating for two now.' She winked at Dormé. 'I will have a list made up of all the amounts of things as well as prescribe supplements for you.'

'Thank you,' Dormé said.

'I wish we could have seen you earlier in your pregnancy so we could have known. Now we'll have to take extra care,' she said seriously. 'You'll need to come back every few weeks so we can give you proper check-ups. All right? We can make the appointments before you leave.'

Dormé's eyes were wide with concern as she took it all in. There was so much more to pregnancy than she realised. 'I feel very stupid,' Dormé admitted with her cheeks on fire. 'There's so much to know!'

He kissed Dormé's cheek and grinned impishly at her words. 'At least you didn't panic when you saw our son's thumb like I did!' he admitted witha sheepish grin.

She blushed at his kiss.

Ankain took the instructions given with grave seriousness. It then reminded him that he wouldn't be there as much as he'd like though he swore to himself that he would—if only to be by her side during her appointments. 'I never realised it was so much work,' he whispered to Dormé feeling a little conscious of himself and his lack of knowledge.

'I thought it would be easier too, but I'm glad you're with me.'

Anakin helped Dormé dress, doing up the back clasps of her gown with great care. Simple gestures like this was all he had now and would later make his heart ache.

The nurse returned with all of the instructions and medications, with everything written on a datapad. All of the appointments were also listed which she knew she would forget if it was just told aloud.

As they left the medical facility, Dormé beamed. 'I can't believe it—a son, a little boy! And we even got to see him! And look—' She showed the image from the scan which had also been uploaded to the datapad. 'They gave us a copy—just look—That's him!'

'They let us keep a holo image of him?' he said eagerly. 'We have to get this put on a stand, have it somewhere nice,' he said feeling so proud and wanting to show the galaxy their handsome little boy.

'You can have it if you want,' Dormé said, offering the image to him, although she wasn't sure if he would be able to take it with him or not. Even though she liked the idea of having it framed, she thought if he could have it, then he would always have something to remind him of their son, no matter how far away he was.

Anakin couldn't accept the image but instead came up with the idea of having it duplicated so they could both have a copy. 'It's only fair,' he said with a loving but sad smile. Anakin didn't want to be reminded of their situation but it was hard to deny.

Once they returned to Saché's home, Dormé was hungry and had to have something to eat before she showed Anakin the rooms she had been staying in. All of their belongings had been unpacked and everything was organized similar to the apartment they once shared.

Anakin enjoyed the tour of Dormé's new home and yet couldn't help but feel a little sad for it. It reminded him that he was no longer a part of her world and all he had lost in his futile attempt to be noble. But he swiftly buried such thoughts wanting to lose himself in the dream.

It was only now that it was being to get dark outside that Dormé's thoughts returned to the fact that he was married to someone else, which meant he would probably not want to share a bed with her. This hurt her deeply just thinking upon it and wondered how it would be to be sleeping in the same room and not be able to hold him. It wasn't the same as when he was away because when he was gone, it was just like how it always had been but with him here, it was different entirely.

By nightfall Anakin soon realised that he could no longer deny the truth. Despite his heart's desire, he could not continue the ruse that they were married and this was their home. It didn't stop him from attempting to dodge the matter, but before he had a chance to suggest they watch some holo-vids a servant was entering the room to speak to Dormé.

The servant hadn't meant to intrude and blushed. 'I just wanted to say goodnight, Dormé—' She looked to Anakin briefly before looking at Dormé once more and smiling as she left.

'Good night, Kearé,' Dormé said, bidding her farewell.

Anakin furrowed his brow noting the young woman's expression and her reaction to the sight of them together. A undeniable fear crept into his thoughts one that left him troubled and uncertain. Should he bring up the matter of the servants? 'I'm not sure if having the handmaidens around when I'm here is such a good idea,' Anakin murmured in concern. He wondered how much they knew and what it could mean for Dormé if they knew of their history together…and the fact Anakin even now was trying to keep in contact with Dormé.

Dormé went to sit near where he stood, wondering, 'You think I should send them away when you come?'

Anakin didn't know what they should do. The more he thought of sending the servants away, the worse he knew it would look to all parties involved. It wasn't as though they had done anything wrong and yet the last thing he wanted for others to learn the truth of how important Dormé was to him.

'But we're not—I mean, we aren't doing anything wrong—' _And we aren't married... You're married to Padmé... _she thought to herself, but then she realised how it would look if people knew all of this. 'Oh...' Her expression fell.

Dormé was partly right, she didn't do anything wrong, she was nothing more than an innocent who was the unfortunate victim of his foolishness. But now was not the time for such thoughts and Anakin sighed clearing his thoughts. 'No I—if we send them away it will only make things worse I just—I really made a mess of things haven't I?' he said clearly knowing he was stating the obvious.

'Should I tell them you have a different name? And then when you come back I just say they can have time off?' She hated lying, but knew it was sometimes necessary. She would do anything so long as she was able to see him again.

'I just don't want people to know of our—friendship,' he said as his eyes drifted to the door as if half expecting more handmaidens or servants to burst in.

'I'll do whatever you think is best. I want you to feel comfortable coming here.' She reached for his hand to give it a squeeze and offered him a smile.

Her gentle touch was assuring and Anakin found hope in it. One day he would make things right, just not today. 'Maybe I should stay at the nearby hotels,' he weakly suggested. 'Less chance of them learning—'

'A hotel?' Dormé asked, not really liking the idea, but not going to argue if he was set on the idea. She didn't know if it meant he would just spend the night at a hotel or if it meant that she would have to go visit him there. She wanted him to feel secure and safe here.

'I don't know I just—'

'Well I don't plan on staying in Saché's home forever. I'm just saving up until the baby comes and then I'll get my own place somewhere. I don't want to intrude on Saché's hospitality forever, in spite of her insistence otherwise. I think she can understand my desire for a place of my own.'

'I think this is a good place for you—I mean the people here are nice they give you respect that you deserve,' Anakin confessed in shy tones, before admitting his true fears. 'Everything I care about always disappears or fades away, Dormé. I don't want that to happen to us,' he blurted out suddenly knowing there'd be no turning back now.

'I know it's selfish—I'm not so empty-headed not to know, but I don't want to lose the one good thing in my life! If the Order finds out about my feelings for you, they're going to try and keep us apart again.

'At least if they find out about my marriage to Padmé, they won't bother attempting to learn the truth of it. They'll think she's my weakness—they'll never learn that you and our son is my sanctuary,' he whispered sadly. 'That's why I'm so hesitant about others knowing—about us.'

Dormé fell silent at his explanation, longing to wrap her arms around him and hold him close, though she contented herself with the feel of his hand in her own. 'I understand, Anakin. I want to be there for you all the time. I wish I could, but I can't.' She leant her head on his shoulder as she sighed.

The gentle weight of her head on his shoulder was incredibly soothing. Despite himself, Anakin slipped an arm around her petite form and stared ahead once more. 'That's just it, Dormé. You are there for me—you always have been. But who's been there for you? Who is there for you now?' he said in troubled tones. 'I had my chance—I ruined it—I'm going to find a way, I promise. I'm going to find a way to fix this, all of it,' Anakin pressed on.

It had been so long since she felt Anakin's arms around her but it was so incredibly reassuring. She had missed all these little things, including his scent, which she could smell so closely now. 'I will still be waiting for you, no matter how long it takes, Anakin. I promise,' she vowed softly, though her tone was strong.

Her gentle vow broke his heart and made it soar in turn. His eyes silently met hers and soon Anakin found himself unable to resist pulling her into a tight embrace.

_I will never forgive myself for doing this to you,_ Anakin thought as he held onto her tightly before reluctantly withdrawing. He didn't dare lose himself to the warm of her embrace; it wouldn't be fair to her.

'Hopefully I'll have my own place by the next time you're able to come. Then you won't have to worry about anyone knowing,' she said thoughtfully. Even though Theed was expensive, she knew she would figure out a way so that it would be best for their relationship—or rather friendship as he put it. She tried not to let that bother her.

He wished he had the answers, but Anakin didn't and he hated the idea of Dormé turning away the kindness shown to her by Saché. Though he couldn't stand the woman, Anakin knew she meant well and if he couldn't be there for Dormé, he wanted another who was trustworthy to do it for him. 'I think you should stay here if you can. I'll find a way around the servants I don't know how, but I will; you know me,' he said trying to lighten the mood. 'I just don't want you to move away because of me,' he continued.

'I don't mind moving though and it would be good to have our own place for our boy to grow up in.' She had meant to say her home but that wasn't what she intended it to be, she intended it to be their second home, no matter what politics or anyone else said.

She adjusted her position just slightly so that she could look up at him. _I love you, so much,_ her heart cried out.

Anakin glanced away to Dormé's words telling himself that it was his imagination playing tricks on him. Dormé hadn't said what he thought she had. To admit to it meant that she was willing to forgive him, to truly take him back. Anakin didn't deserve such hopes and knew better than to speak or allow himself to dwell on such things, they were too painful now.

'I guess so. I just don't want you to rush into anything without knowing everything is secure for you. I've spoken to one of the guys who runs the race tracks I sometimes race at. He needs some ships repaired and says he'd be willing to pay for my work. It's not much only be able to work some evenings when duties permit but I thought—I want to share the bills, it's only fair.'

'Every little bit helps, but I do want you to be able to get some rest when you're not busy.' Dormé smiled at him, tucking his Padawan braid behind his ear. 'And by the looks of it, rest is something you are in definite need of. You look exhausted,' she admitted. There were plenty of other empty rooms in this home, but she preferred to take the couch to at least be near him, if she wasn't able to hold him in rest.

'I'll be fine. I don't waste any of my time with you by sleeping,' Anakin confessed sheepishly before his eyes lit up at the sight of one of his creations.

'My little holo-maker! You still have it!' Anakin said with a boyish grin. 'You want to watch some holo-vids?' Anakin asked already slipping off to find some blankets and pillows so they could get comfortable on the couch.

She grinned. 'I kept everything. Most of it was packed before, so—' Dormé was about to say that she would have let him take him things before, but hadn't had the chance since it had been packed, but his suggestion caused her to forget all about it.

'I haven't seen a vid in months! So whatever you pick I'm sure it will be great!' he announced as he wandered from room to room looking for what he sought.

'Of course!' Dormé said, going straight over to where she kept the datadiscs. She called out a few titles to him while he gathered up pillow and blankets. Gone were the thoughts of annulments and Jedi and marriages as the thoughts of their own relationship returned with the best memories.

She settled on a title they hadn't viewed since when they first became friends. They had watched it in her first tiny apartment on the bed that was too small for Anakin. She didn't really remember much about the plot, but thought it wouldn't matter too much. 'Need any help?' she called out to him as she placed the disc in the holo machine.

Collecting pillows he caught her words and snickered as he approached. Giving her a playful whap Anakin grinned impishly, 'And let you get me with your pillow smacking powers? I think not!' he teased before tossing some of the pillows on the couch and taking a seat with blankets now covering all of him save for his face.

'I'm a professional pillow smacker, and don't you forget it,' she teased.

Anakin grinned impishly to Dormé's teasing and suddenly the past and the future faded away, leaving only his beloved the one who truly was his wife.

'Hey, I can barely see you!' she said, tugging at the blanket and trying to weasel her way underneath too.

Contentment flooded his thoughts and soon he was happily burying himself in blankets the way they used to in the early days of their friendship. He snickered as Dormé climbed under the blankets and soon was trying to tickle her as he hid under them.

As the film started, she mentioned, 'We tried watching this one before,' as it was one they purchased together a few years ago.

Holding Dormé near it was almost too easy to forget about the movie and the reality of their situation. Fortunately for both Dormé was soon slipping off to rest leaving Anakin to hold her near and gently play with her hair instead. The movie, though enjoyable, was mostly ignored as Anakin found himself instead gently touching her cheeks and kissing her brow.

In time, he too grew sleepy, leaving Anakin to curl up with Dormé on the couch. Holding her tightly, he slipped off into the realm of peaceful dreams.

By morning, his leg was wrapped around her petite form along with his arms and his face firmly buried in her dark hair where he now snored softly with a small smile on his lips. If Anakin had his way, he would never want to wake up. Dreams were now far more preferable to the life that was now his own.

Though she wasn't aware of his administrations as she slept, her dreams were filled with the love she missed and longed for when he was away. In many ways, though he was now married to someone else, Dormé would be able to convince herself that they were still together. His time away was just like before and she still was unable to speak of their relationship with anyone. The only thing that had changed was the politics.

When she awoke, she restrained herself from giggling at the feel of his breath on her neck. Dormé didn't remember they were on Naboo in Saché's home, or anything about things that made her sad. Instead, she smiled in the hazy early morning, relishing the warmth of his arms around her, and their son moving around inside of her. She shifted one of his hands, so that he could feel their son's movements as he slept.

Dormé ran her fingers through his disorderly hair, fiddling with his Padawan braid. It was so tempting for her to kiss him and she knew if she was more awake, she wouldn't have given in so easily. He was her best friend, her first real friend, and the love of her life. She pressed her lips to his, closing her own eyes as she did so.

Dormé's arms Anakin murmured nonsensical things in his rest as he nuzzled closer to her. The feel of their son's movement seemed to please him as soon he was smiling in his rest and murmuring words in his native tongue. Only when Dormé's lips met his own did he slowly stir awake briefly believing he was back in the past living a moment with his true wife. A soft murmur escaped his lips and soon he was returning her kiss.

Dormé was of the mind that even though he legally belonged to another woman, Dormé was still his wife. She knew he still loved her and only loved her. Dormé honestly was unaware if Anakin had in fact slept with his legal wife or not. She didn't know if he had or if he planned to. For Dormé, he was still her husband, whatever he said. Even if they had only truly been legally married for a few hours, Dormé thought it had been for three years. She didn't know if things really had to be different, especially since he was here with her now.

Anakin was her husband in her heart. He always had been. She had been angry with him before, when she found out about their annulment and the fact he married someone else to appease his dying mother's wish. But when the anger and sorrow disappeared, her love for him still remained. He had a plan and someday there would be no more secrets, no more hiding. For now she wanted to be with him as they used to.

He still held her the way he used to and he still kissed her with that same passion as he had throughout the years. It was relaxing and enjoyable to finally be with him like this again and even though she was slightly conscientious about her pregnant form, the love she felt in his kisses and caresses, made her let go of the insecurity.

She returned the gesture more boldly once she gathered that he was awake. She was glad that he had been able to sleep a little bit. It made her less worried about him needing rest.

Lost to Dormé's kiss Anakin was only too happy to forget the truth, to live in the past but as his senses slowly returned to him the young knight knew he couldn't hide from the truth any longer. To remain here in Dormés arms while knowing fully well that he belonged to another was something he couldn't do. Lost to Dormé's kiss, Anakin was only too happy to forget the truth, to live in the past.

But as his senses slowly returned to him, the young knight knew he couldn't hide from the truth any longer. To remain here in Dormé's arms while knowing fully well that he belonged to another was something he couldn't do. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair certainly not for Dormé, and in some ways not even for Padmé. It was with great reluctance Anakin slowly withdrew from Dormé's kiss.

'I can't do this—I'm sorry, Dormé—I love you too much to do this,' he said sadly as he disentangled himself from the blankets and from her embrace.

Anakin knew there was no easy to explain the truth of the situation and in truth just hoped that Dormé wouldn't hate him for playing along. He knew how easy it was to forget reality and knew that her actions innocent. She was in truth his real wife, the one who truly held his heart and soul. It didn't change the fact Anakin felt terrible to responding to her kiss, for encouraging such notions that it was okay to be second to another woman.

'While my heart belongs to you, my body is now hers. You deserve better than being a married man's mistress, someone who is second to another woman,' he admitted quietly. 'It's not fair to you and it's not right. I love you too much to do that to you—to destroy what's left between us.'

Dormé wasn't sure what he meant when he said he loved her too much not to make love to her. He referred to Padmé and silent sorrow entered her heart once again. She didn't fully understand why he was pushing her away, not his true reasons and right now it just hurt her.

'From now on, we can only be friends. Friends that love each other, yes, but friends nonetheless,' Anakin said as he met Dormé's amber gaze. 'Perhaps one day when this is all done we can have something more, but for now—it's just best we don't express our feelings—in this way,' Anakin said in shamed tones.

The wounds that she thought had healed were torn freshly open once more. This was the second mention of friendship and she forced her eyes to meet his, blinking back tears as she asked, 'Best friends?' All of her hope rode on this question. 'Padmé's not your best friend now, is she?'

Her question so simple and innocent broke his heart and he found himself fighting back unshed tears of his own. 'Of course not Dormé! You are my best friend, you always have been, always will be. My body may belong to Padmé, but it is you who will always hold my heart—my soul,' he whispered hoarsely.

Dormé sighed in relief at his words as she fought back tears. 'You're my best friend, Anakin. I can't lose you—I can't lose you as my best friend. Promise we'll always be best friends, no matter what!'

Anakin's grip around Dormé tightened as he gave a shaky sigh of relief. He didn't dare admit his feelings were the same, that he was truly lost without her. 'I swear, Dormé, you will always be my best friend—' he whispered though inwardly he added: _you will always hold my heart._

'Can I still hold your hand sometimes? Would I still be able to hug you?' Dormé felt the twinge of longing in her arms, to be held again, to hold him...

'I wouldn't be able to go on if it wasn't for your hugs,' he confessed sheepishly. 'I don't think I'd be able to resist—not being able to give you hugs I mean,' Anakin said softly. He then pulled her into a tight embrace feeling as though he was now filled with an emptiness Dormé was no longer permitted to fill.

'I need this—I need you more than you'll ever know!' he whispered in desperate tones. 'But I won't let you play second to another, I can't—you deserve better than that, you deserve more than that.'

'I couldn't go without hugs either,' she confessed. Her arms automatically wrapped around him in return, holding him just as tightly. It was only when she squeezed her eyes shut as she held him that some tears escaped. 'Someday we'll be able to be together,' she whispered softly.

'I'm going to hold you to that promise,' he whispered in reply.

* * *

Anakin washed up and did his best not to think of the discussion they just had, and the temptation that came before it. As hard as it was Anakin knew it had to be done and could only hope that Dormé wouldn't come to hate him for it.

Emerging from the fresher he soon went to join Dormé in the kitchen only to find her chatting with one of the servants. Growing hesitant to the sight Anakin faltered before forcing himself to walk forward to the refrigeration unit. If he were to try and hide it would only make things look worse wouldn't it? And it wasn't as though they had done anything right?

'It's a boy,' she said cheerfully to the elder servant.

The older woman smiled broadly. 'Everyone will want to give you their advice and opinion, but you stick to the doctor's orders and to your heart, dear.'

'We—I've yet to decide on a name.'

'I'm sure you'll come up with the perfect name,' the servant replied.

'Whatcha making Dormé? Did you want me to get something for us to drink? I can set the table if you like,' Anakin asked feeling himself relax to Dormé's contented emotions.

'Pancakes,' she replied to his question. 'I forgot about it earlier, but this is Lady Rullé—Lady Rullé, this is my best friend, Anakin. I've known him since I was eleven, I think. I don't know when my birthday is exactly, but I think I was eleven. He's training to be a Jedi, so it's nice for him to get away a little and visit me on Naboo.'

'It's very nice to meet you, Anakin,' Rullé replied kindly. 'I know the others were curious about you, but they were like that when Dormé first arrived.' She smiled at the pair.

Anakin smiled and bowed as he had seen Ferus and Obi-Wan often do. He tried to give his best impression so as not to humiliate or shame Dormé in front of this woman. 'It's good to meet you too,' he said politely before going to set the table and pour them both some juice. Though he didn't really know the elder woman he got a good feeling from her and decided that perhaps she wasn't so bad after all.

'If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask,' the woman said as she went to put her dishes away. 'Oh, Dormé, I forgot to mention it, but my daughter is about your age and she wanted to meet you sometime. She's in school now, but perhaps some afternoon when you're not at work?'

'That would be great. I look forward to meeting her,' Dormé said as she flipped the pancakes over.

Rullé went about her duties, leaving the pair alone.

Dormé felt slightly uncomfortable about the introductions, but hoped that Anakin hadn't minded. She thought that it would be less inappropriate-sounding than if she had made up a lie or skirted the issue. Once the pancakes were done, she served up their plates along with some various fresh fruit, many of which she hadn't tried before living in Saché's home.

Dormé knew to most everyone else on Naboo, and the galaxy in general, the Jedi were thought of highly. She didn't care what occupation Anakin had so long as he was happy. She slipped her hand over his while they ate.

Once everything was ready he was eager to dig in. He loved the fruit as well as the pancakes and happily expressed this to Dormé. Her hand over his own was an undeserved but added bonus which left him in even better spirits.

'Rullé was telling me about this store—I don't think it's too far away—that has things for babies. I think we should go there today! I know I'll need to get a lot of things, like a pram and a little bed...'

The idea of shopping fo their little one was also exciting though a little bit confusing as well. 'What's a pram?' he asked in curious tones. He wondered if it was a Naboo term as it wasn't something he had heard of before.

* * *

The second day flew by as Anakin and Dormé went into town to shop for essential items for their little one. One of the shop owners, an older man, seemed to know a lot about babies and couldn't help but chuckle lightheartedly at Anakin's inexperience.

_Using his hands, he illustrated about the size of a newborn, which made Dormé quite surprised, as she couldn't imagine something that big coming out of her. 'Really? That big...'_

_'For a normal human child, yes.'_

_'And you sure it won't hurt Dormé? I mean she's so small,' Anakin said feeling concerned._

_ 'Don't be so alarmed. My wife's given birth three times and they were all about this size. But they grow so quickly.'_

They also decided to name their baby Siac, though Dormé had teased Anakin about naming their son after Ferus. Dormé also admitted that she had kept Anakin's cloak, the one he gave her when they first met and had fashioned it into a blanket for their baby.

The day slipped into evening and after dinner, they decided to go on a final walk together before Anakin had to leave.

'Maybe we could explore them a little more find some places we haven't see yet,' he suggested. 'Maybe like those garden mazes I heard about!'

Dormé led the way until she saw part of the garden she hadn't been to in awhile.

Stepping outside, Anakin breathed in the fresh air and was reminded of all the reasons why he missed being here. It was beautiful so much more alive than on Coruscant or Tatooine. Following Dormé he couldn't help but wonder where they were going.

'I'm not sure where this goes exactly, so we should stick together in case we get lost,' she decided, pulling him through the overhanging roses and other flowers that made an archway.

Her explanation only piqued his interest however, and he smiled as he couldn't help but draw a little closer. 'Maybe it's a secret path that leads to a place no one has ever been before,' he said softly as he ducked beneath the overhanging roses.

Ahead he could hear the sound of waves crashing, it was a distant sound but one that both drew him and filled him with fear at the same time. He tightened his grip on Dormé's hand.

The waves far below crashed against the rocks before withdrawing and crashign against them once more. There was something incredibly familiar about this place and it frightened Anakin. Instincts ruled and soon he was looking to Dormé noting her reaction. Her expression was hardly troubled and almost appeared peaceful.

It was very strange, but as the wind slipped through her hair, she felt as though she had been here before. She could hear the murmurs of a group of men. Priests she thought. Her free hand slipped to her womb as she closed her eyes. She heard their words clearly on the wind:

_'On your knees Dagon servant of Asherah and warrior priest of The Guard.'_

She envisioned Anakin, or whom she thought was Anakin kneeling before her, his eyes rising up to meet hers. He spoke to her in the ancient tongue and she in the same.

The priests disappeared and then it was only the two of them and he rose to his full height. His hand slipped to her arm, sliding a golden band onto her arm.

Anakin tried to close his eyes as well in the hopes of gaining some of Dormé's calm. But as he closed his eyes all he felt was the powerful sensation of drowning. Stormy waves seemed to rush over him sucking him under, pulling him down and then he saw it a strange, but beautifully embroidered red scarf sinking alongside him.

Anakin's eyes snapped open as he drew in a sharp breath. If Dormé sensed his troubled thoughts, it didn't show and he was incredibly grateful for it. It was just a brief, albeit strange vision, but a vision nonetheless.

'We were here,' she murmured as her eyes opened and she looked at Anakin. 'I feel as though we were both her a very long time ago.' She didn't care if she wasn't making any sense.

'This place is aged—I can feel it,' he confessed not sure if what Dormé meant but unable to deny its weight either.

'It's familiar to me and yet I don't know why,' Anakin added in confused tones.

When their eyes met, Dormé saw that he was afraid or nervous for some reason. It was all extremely odd, but the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks below seemed to create this atmosphere of familiarity.

Anakin's gaze wavered as he struggled not to break her gaze. Torn between walking away and looking back at the waters edge Anakin remained still. A part of him couldn't let him walk away. There were just too many questions he sought, too many answers he needed to know.

She felt a tugging at her heart. 'They took you away from me, just like the Jedi did...' she murmured.

Dormé's words confused him and yet it answered so many questions he couldn't hope to explain. 'The red scarf—' he murmured in reply. 'It was yours wasn't it?'

'My scarf,' she said at the same time as him. 'You drowned...or someone like you, it wasn't you but it seems like...like we couldn't be together...'

And as soon as it came, the moment was gone. Then Dormé shook her head, laughing. 'It's silly isn't it...I don't know what I'm talking about but it's really very beautiful up here, isn't it? I love the smell—so crisp and cool—I'll have to come up here more often.'

'Maybe there is more to this place than we realise,' Anakin replied with a laugh. 'I'm half expecting a phantom or a nightmare to burst out of the bushes now!' he teased with a wink. Anakin didn't really want to think about what had passed between them moments ago.

'I think you're right,' she replied, shivering. 'I felt this cold metal on my arm just here,' Dormé said, pointing to the place on her arm.

'Although with my trusty lightsaber they wouldn't stand a chance!' Anakin teased with a grin as he moved to tickle her.

'Good! You can protect us!' Dormé announced but then was on the receiving end of his tickling fingers. She laughed and tried to slap his hands away while also trying to get him back.

'It is beautiful isn't it? I mean outside of the fact the ocean is a little closer than I'd like,' he said in thoughtful tones.

'I like it here, even though it's a little creepy. It makes me feel—I don't know, older?' the teenager said, taking his hand again. 'I think Siac will make me feel a lot older too.'

'I dont think it makes us feel older. It makes us—wiser, yes definitely wiser,' Anakin said with a reassuring smile.

* * *

Coming up: Dormé makes a new friend and Anakin shirks his duties as a Jedi, leaving Obi-Wan far from pleased with him.

_'Would you take care of Siac for me if I died? Would you be able to raise him?'_


	16. A New Friend

The elder servant lady, Rullé, who had a daughter around Dormé's age said that her daughter would be coming over that evening for dinner and Dormé wanted to be sure she got home on time. She couldn't wait to meet her.

Talé was considered a shy young woman, at least to those who didn't know her. Once she warmed up to one she was considered to be vibrant and forever an optimist. Though she wasn't overly fond of grand gatherings she did enjoy meeting new people and was quite excited to meet the young mother-to-be. Not wanting to arrive empty handed, she eagerly made some icy sweets and some punch to go with it. While she wasn't the finest cook she enjoyed it and was good at make some simple but good sweets. She hoped that Lady Dormé would enjoy her favorite dessert and was eager to learn a recipe or two from her as her mother had admitted that Dormé loved to cook.

Dormé did her best to make sure everything was in order before Talé's arrival and she was very happy to escort her inside. 'Your mother probably already told you that this isn't my house, right? I'm just staying here because Saché, my mentor, said that I could. But I'm glad to meet you. I haven't seen that many people around my age...since I work with children all day!'

Talé gave a gentle smile to Dormé's words and gave a small nod to her words. It hardly mattered that this home wasn't Dormé's as her mother spoke well of Dormé reminding her in some ways of the previous occupant. 'It's a pleasure to meet you. My mother speaks highly of you says you're a natural cook and are even better with children,' she confessed with a friendly smile. Talé could already tell that she was going to get along with Dormé.

She showed her into the dining area. 'I'm Dormé Sk-Jaffa by the way. But you knew that too!' She giggled before showing her the different things she made and the other things that some of the servants contributed.

Talé politely bowed to the introduction and was soon grinning as Dormé giggled. 'I guess telling you that I'm Talé isn't necessary either,' she said laughing softly. As her mother had informed her, Dormé was a natural with cooking and she marvelled at the wonderful dishes Dormé had created.

'Wow! Are you a professional chef? This looks wonderful!' she gasped before offering her own dessert and drinks to the table.

'Oh no, I just cook for myself and for fun,' Dormé replied. 'I like coming up with new things too.'

Talé was clearly impressed and her eyes lit up when Dormé spoke of making her own creations as well. 'Oh what do you make? Do you give them names or keep recipes for your new creations?'

'I can't wait to try your dessert. It looks delicious!'

'Really? Oh of course, because of your training with the royal handmaidens? What was it like? Being a personal guard to royalty?' she asked in curious tones. She imagined Dormé must have led a fascinating and adventurous life and found her respect for Dormé growing at the discovery.

She nodded about the handmaiden training, not really wanting to go into too much detail about her true upbringing. 'But with the baby, I'm not allowed to remain a handmaiden. And it would be putting the baby in dangerous situations so it's for the best that I left,' she admitted. But just thinking about Siac made her happy and excited for the future, so she was very giddy throughout their meal.

When Dormé spoke of her baby, Talé held her tongue and buried her questions. She didn't know the young woman well enough to ask something so personal and was soon caught up with other topics of conversation.

'Your mother said you're in school?' Dormé asked. 'What are you studying? I actually didn't go to school.'

Dormé's admittance surprised Talé as Dormé held a poise and grace that always seemed to come with those who had many years of training and education. 'I'm actually studying to become a councillor for younglings who have undergone severe trauma,' she said with a shy smile to Dormé's question.

'With all that's going on with the war and attacks on the outer rims I couldn't help but wonder what was going to become of the children who survive it. I know it's said the innocent are the ones who suffer the most and I just want to be there for them to help them through this difficult time,' Talé explained softly.

'That sounds like it would be such hard work. You must be smart. I don't think I could remember all the stuff that you have to for exams and such.'

'Maybe in some small way I'll be able to help them heal and recover from the pain.' Though her boyfriend supported her decision, Talé got the feeling that he didn't really understand it. But Dormé seemed different that way, she could tell right from meeting her that this was a matter that was close to her heart.

Talé blushed as she shook her head, 'I think you'd do just fine. I've heard you're a wonderful caregiver to those orphans. I could see you being a wonderful mother,' she said in all sincerity.

* * *

As the days passed, Dormé was busy with work of her own, having been given one of the other ladies responsibilities while she was away on holiday. Though it was tough work covering her own duties as well as another's, she never felt the work was in vain. The children were always so entertaining, even if there was an odd fight or two. In the end, everyone would make up and whatever angry words or thoughts were between them were mended by cookies that Dormé enjoyed making.

Though she missed Anakin dearly, she was very happy about becoming closer acquaintances with Talé. Ever since their first dinner together, she wondered more about the girl, who seemed quite the opposite of the handmaidens she had worked with. Dormé thought it was very nice of her to invite her over for dinner, as though it would be an exchange of favours.

After her duties finished for the day, she went home to change before visiting her friend. With a baked dessert roll in hand, she buzzed the door.

The young woman eagerly prepared dinner for Dormé's arrival. She couldn't wait to share her new recipe that she had gotten from her mother with Dormé and hoped that she'd enjoy the dish as much as she did.

'I'm coming! Just a second I need to take out the dish from the oven!' she called upon hearing Dormé chime at the door. After carefully placing the food into its proper container she set it on the table and rushed to let Dormé in.

Unlike when Anakin tried to make a meal, the smell from the kitchen was lovely indeed and Dormé smiled as she heard her new friend bustling inside. 'Hi Talé, I'm glad I'm not late. I was worried for a moment there—'

'Oh no, in fact your right on time! Please come in and make yourself comfortable! I was just brewing some java if you'd like some—' she said in kind tones before noticing the delicious dessert in Dormé's hands.

Her eyes fell to the dessert. 'Oh wow this looks so delicious! Is it one of your creations?' she asked in curious tones.

'—what this? Oh it's a cake. I thought we could both use one! You because you're so skinny and me because I have a good excuse,' she teased.

Talé laughed to Dormés teasing as she waved a hand. 'Oh don't be silly you're just as tiny as I am! Even with the little one you're so small!' she said in warm-hearted tones. Slipping off into the kitchen briefly she went to get Dormé something to drink.

'I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm fat and I know it's only going to get worse until he's born,' she giggled, joining her in the kitchen.

Talé just shook her head as she waved a hand to Dormé's words. 'You aren't fat in any sense of the words. You're carrying a baby Dormé, believe me if anything your filled with life,' she assured her friend.

Talé found quite a friend in Dormé and always enjoyed the young woman's company. She was so friendly and easy to talk to, someone who was elegant and yet so humble. It was hard not to feel at ease when around Dormé and Talé was soon opening up to the young woman in ways she never had with her other friends.

'May I ask what you've made?' Dormé asked as she placed the dessert on the table.

'I've never made this dish before but my mother's rather fond of it! The way she makes it is so delicious I couldn't resist getting the recipe and trying it myself. I just hope it will taste half as good as she makes it! Although for the life of me I can't seem to pronounce its name properly so you'll have to forgive me if I just call it my mother's recipe,' she said with a sheepish laugh.

Dormé found that the meal was delicious. She hadn't had anything like it before and was eagerly digging in. 'I'd like to know how to make this too, if you'll let me. Does your mother teach you a lot of cooking?' she wondered, imagining what it would be like to cook with one's own mother.

She was incredibly pleased and humbled to know that Dormé enjoyed her meal. She spoke of the recipe and the tricks her mother used for ensure its success.

Dormé liked that Talé was not as confronting or intimidating as some of the handmaidens she had met. In fact, she wished Talé could have been there to see how some of them behaved. She told Talé all about her brief stint as a handmaiden, including some of the other jobs she had had that weren't as glamorous. It still felt odd to be served, even if she was a guest, and wanted to help out if she could. She unaware of some of the rules about pregnancy, though she had read that javajuice might not be good for her. She did, however, eye the bottle of wine, which she thought might go well with their meal. 'What about that?' she asked.

Talé set some of the dishes when Dormé spoke out suggesting wine for their meal. She hesitated and gave Dormé an apologetic look. 'Oh I wouldn't suggest that at least not until the baby's born. I've heard other mothers say that they can't have alcohol when they're carrying, so I've prepared some other drinks that could possibly work—I mean if you're interested of course,' she said in shy tones.

Though Dormé wasn't from the usual upper class society Talé found her to be incredibly elegant and noble. Her past was fascinating, what was shared and soon Talé was opening up to Dormé about things she normally didn't share with anyone save her mother.

Just as their meal was under way, a soaked and smelly brown-haired boy burst in through the front door. Without saying a word to anyone, he went to the kitchen to get a swig of water and grabbed a piece of their side dish, shoving it in his mouth. 'Hey,' he said with his mouth half-full as he sat down, slumped in a chair next to Talé.

Startled by his arrival as Talé had informed him it would be a girl's night in she rose to her feet in surprise. Taking note of his state her eyes widened in concern. 'Is everything okay? What happened? My goddess, you're soaked!' Talé said in concern. She couldn't believe how laid back he was about it all and in front of her friend no less.

'Nothing,' he replied automatically.

'Forgive me—Dormé this is Disar. Disar, this is my friend I told you about Dormé,' she said politely not wanting to appear rude to either Dormé or her boyfriend.

Disar was about to put his feet up on the table when he was introduced to the other woman. 'Oh hey,' he said. 'Nice to meet you.'

Dormé, perplexed, tried to remain nonplussed by the young man's appearance and actions. He certainly seemed to make himself at home and hardly anything like how Anakin would behave at meals.

'Now come we need to get you into something dry! Are you hurt? Do you need some bacta?' she continued clearly fearing the worse.

'Ran into some trouble on the north side is all. It's sorted now, no worries,' he replied, taking another bite into his nicked meal. He reached across the table to grab at the loaf of bread, his shirt dripping on the table in the process.

Dormé moved the plate close to him, trying not to stare at him.

Disar's behaviour shocked and embarrassed Talé who couldn't believe he'd act this way in front of her friend. Even when alone she didn't care for it but had since learned to accept that it was a part of who he was or so he often would tell her. 'Ran into trouble? What do you mean? Was anyone hurt? You can't just storm in here make a scene like this and not at least give an explanation!' she said in concern. Talé winced as he reached over to grab some more food.

Disar was not in the mood to talk about what happened and couldn't care less about Talé's friend being there. 'It's nothing, like I said!' he argued, standing up once more.

'Seeing as your obviously well enough not to care that you just gave me a quite a scare perhaps you'd care to be a little more polite in front of our guest?' She tried again her expression a mix of embarrassment and shame. Talé desperately hoped that Dormé would forgive her boyfriend for being so rude and would still want to talk to her.

'Look, I'll go change, all right?' He rolled his eyes, starting toward the bedroom where some of his things were.

Talé frowned to Disar's words but it was clear that she was also hurt by them. 'I'm just worried about you Disar you've been—we'll discuss this later,' she concluded in quiet tones as he stormed off to her bedroom. Real friends were so hard to find and she didn't want to lose Dormé's friendship over Disar's poor behaviour.

Once he was out of sight, Dormé couldn't help laughing just a little bit. 'I'm sorry—' she said.

Dormé's laughter made Talé quizzical and she looked at her friend in curiosity.

'It was his hair—all soaked and messed up, reminded me of Anakin—' she said without thinking.

Her words seemed to lighten the mood and Talé couldn't help but laugh softly herself. 'He looks more like a drenched rat!' she said with a giggle before growing more serious. 'Anakin that name is familiar—is he the Jedi boy that visits you sometimes?' she asked.

When Talé mentioned Anakin, she froze, realising her mistake for having mentioned him. 'Yes, he's a Jedi,' she said, nodding. 'He's my best friend.'

My mother says he's very nice, though a little shy,' Talé admitted in kind tones before allowing her curiosity to get the better of her. 'I know very little about the Jedi save that they're peacekeepers. What are they like?' she asked.

Dormé blushed to her mother's compliments of the man she knew in her heart to still be her husband. However, the mention of the Jedi was a sensitive subject for Dormé. She didn't want to lie to her friend, for Talé had been so kind to her, but she also wasn't sure if she could trust her.

'I only know two or three Jedi, or rather two of them are training to become Jedi. Anakin and Ferus are nice and good people, but some of the other Jedi I have seen and heard about aren't always nice. I don't know... Their religion seems to be confusing too with light and darkness, but Anakin can do a lot of neat tricks with the Force!'

'You and me both! I've heard a little about their religion here and there but none of it makes any sense to me,' she confessed with a shy laugh. 'But it does sound fascinating, just complicated.'

Dormé went on to talk about the adventure she went on three years ago when she first met Ferus, how Anakin saved her life. She spoke of the lightsabers, the beasts, and the heroics of Anakin and Ferus. It was evident as she concluded her tale that she missed both of them.

Talé listened intently as Dormé spoke of her Jedi friends. Their adventures fascinated her and filled her with a new respect for the men and women who served the Order. She could tell that her friend cared deeply about both men though it was evident that Dormé's feeling ran deeper for the one known as Padawan Skywalker than just friendship. However Talé didn't speak of it as she knew it wasn't her place. Her heart went out to her friend and she hoped that one day Dormé's feelings would be returned.

'They sound so nice I hope one day I can meet them-if only to say I actually met a real Jedi knight!' she said with a grin. In her mind, any friend of Dormé was definitely someone to like as Dormé was a good woman and therefore her friends must be kind-hearted as well.

Dormé then turned the conversation to Talé and her boyfriend. 'How long have you two been together?' she asked in curiosity, not taking his behaviour personally, just that he had run into trouble and wasn't in a good mood because of it.

'We've been together for almost a year now—though lately I can't help but wonder what has come over him,' she confessed as her cheeks warmed. 'He's always been a bit rough around the edges but ever since he started this new job of his—well I've never seen him quite this rude to a guest before. I'm terribly sorry,' she apologized.

Dormé shook her head. 'I'm sure it's the stress of his job. Like you said, he only just started and if he's never been in that area of Theed, I'm sure that's intimidating too.'

Her expression turned thoughtful to Dormé's assessment of Disar's odd behaviour and Talé took her words to heart. 'I hope your right. I'm so worried about him, it just seems he always in some sort of trouble and I don't want him to get hurt,' she confessed in soft tones.

'You and me both,' Dormé replied, about Disar's behaviour and how she didn't want him to be hurt. Dormé worried about Anakin as well and knew what it was like. She had to admit to herself that she was a little jealous that Talé's boyfriend at least lived on the same planet as her. She didn't say anything about it though.

Disar came back from the bedroom looking a little more freshened up, but nonetheless in a bad mood. He didn't want guests over and would rather have the place to himself, even if it wasn't his home. 'Anything left to eat or did you two eat it all,' he tried to tease though his humour fell a bit flat.

Dormé rose to do her best to serve him, even though she was a guest. 'And there's dessert too,' she offered kindly.

Talé rose to her feet just as Dormé did and couldn't help but giggle. 'Dormé, you sit back down you're the guest, remember?' she teased giving her friend a wink.

'Thanks,' he muttered, though he wasn't very convincing.

'Don't worry we didn't eat it all and there's still the dessert Dormé made which looks divine!' Talé said as she moved to serve her boyfriend.

Dormé tried to smile, feeling bad about whatever it was, and that Talé was unhappy. She didn't want anyone to be unhappy. She asked Talé confidentially, 'Shall I go?'

Talé blushed as she gave her friend's arm a squeeze. 'I'm terribly sorry for his foul mood. I understand if you want to leave, but I'd really like you to stay,' she admitted quietly. 'He wasn't supposed to come by tonight so if anyone is intruding its him,' she added with a wry smile.

'It's all right,' Dormé replied. She really didn't want to intrude, even though she had been invited.

Despite her boyfriend's grouchy behaviour, Talé had a wonderful time with her friend and was soon caught up in discussion as one of the holo-vids she had rented played. Talé hoped to see Dormé again soon and reminded her friend never to hesitate to call should she need anything.

Dormé remained at Talé's for an appropriate amount of time before bidding her friend and Disar a good night. When she got home, she sent a quick note to Saché, who had not so subtly asked for an update a few days ago, and then sent one to Anakin as well telling him about her new friend.

* * *

He hadn't been gone for even a week when Anakin sent out his first holo-vid. It wasn't the most exciting of message or videos but it did reveal the young padawan seated on his extremely messy cot, now covered with knick knacks and tools, along with something that could have been food and a half empty cup of blue milk.

Clad only in his starship boxers, with dishevelled hair, Anakin happily explain his latest invention. It was a strange contraption designed to vacuum, sweep and mop floors. It flew as well an added bonus he explained eagerly and could play music while it worked.

Though he couldn't express his love it was evident in his actions, the way he spoke her name and the joy expressed in his eyes.

But with the message came a new private comm address for Dormé to reach him. Anakin eagerly explained that it would link to his ship thus permitting them constant access whenever he was on the frontlines, which was now where he now found himself.

The Outer Rim always made it difficult to send messages and often it took longer than normal, but it didn't stop him from constantly checking back on his ship in hopes of finding a message from his beloved family.

Dormé's little messages swiftly became the highlight of his days and though sometimes they were out of focus and other times a little too zoomed in, Anakin cherished every one.

It was the little things that made his heart skip a beat and his pulse race. The little things like a strap falling off her shoulder, the way the light danced on her cheeks when she smiled. Hidden freckles on her shoulder blade that remained out of his sight for so long only to reveal itself in the most unexpected, unintentional moments.

Anakin had always missed her before whenever they were apart, now he found himself longing for her in ways he never knew before. The sort of feelings he had for Dormé were far deeper than lust. It wasn't uncommon to find him in his tent or ship watching them over and over again memorizing every word and every detail.

He tried to send out messages but the communication channels weren't entirely stable in the outer rim and much of his attempts were lost. Hers however seemed to have better luck and Anakin managed to collect most if not all of her messages.

Today however was a particularly special one and Anakin's eyes lit up in joy at the sight of their son's growing, hidden form. Gingerly he fingered the outline of the holoimage and smiled, wishing he could see them in person and yet knowing it wasn't possible

Even though neither of them could say it, it was evident in their messages how much they still loved and adored each other...and how much they loved their unborn son.

Several months passed before Anakin was able to return to Naboo. He was pleased to find out that he would also be able to go with Dormé to another appointment. The possibility of seeing their son again made him giddy with joy. He was also very appreciative of being able to eat _real food_.

'I see you haven't been keeping up on your vitamins, young lady,' the doctor said after the droid took and ran a test on her blood.

'I've been trying, but sometimes I might forget,' Dormé replied sheepishly. 'Is that a really bad thing?'

'I'll try to remind you more in the future, I could always send messages?' he suggested feeling terrible for not thinking of this sooner.

'Well not necessarily, but from what I found last time, you can cause birth defects by not giving the baby enough of the vitamins it needs to grow.'

'Is there something we can do right away to help him? What can we do—' he stammered as he held Dormé near for the moment not registering how it would look.

'What do you mean? Is Siac OK? Is he going to die?' Dormé asked, near panicking as she stared at the screen showing Siac. 'He's not moving—is he OK?'

'He's healthy, but borderline anaemic. You need to make sure you get enough iron in your food!' the doctor insisted. 'I'm going to request you stop in next week for bloodwork again, just to make sure we're keeping on track.'

'Bloodwork? Is that a bad thing? Won't that hurt the baby?' Now it was Anakin's turn to get frightened.

'That's the same thing that we did today!' the doctor assured them. 'We just take some blood and make sure that the levels are correct and if not, we figure out how to make it better.'

Dormé was still unsure about all of this and was grateful for Anakin's arms around her which made her feel safer.

The doctor's assurances eased a little of Anakin's fears but he was still tense. 'You're sure you can fix this? You're sure you can heal Dormé and Siac?' he pressed on.

'It's not about healing anyone,' the doctor replied thoughtfully. 'It's about making sure that both baby and mother are getting enough of the right kinds of nutrients. We'll have to discuss options for delivery as well,' the doctor added. 'If you'll be wanting different types of medication...'

'What do you mean?' Dormé asked.

'I'll give you another datacard for you to read up on and then you can decide for yourself what method is more comfortable for you, water deliver, natural birth, epidural, all of those things. You'll have to sign off on it beforehand and also in case of emergency what you would like for us to do.'

'Why all the preparations? Is something wrong? I don't understand, don't most mother's just give birth that's it? Why all the needles, the pills and everything else?' Anakin asked in concern. He could feel Dormé's fear and desperately wanted to ease her concerns in whatever way he could.

There was already so much to think about and the idea of giving birth was now starting to threaten to scare her even more, especially with the worst-case scenarios floating around in her head. She wasn't so sure she liked this idea as much as she dreamt it. She had always just imagined the children already born and running around or holding them in her arms. She didn't think about the pregnancy and birth and all that went into it.

Dormé barely heard anything else that went on in the visit as her thoughts were scattered with fear and concern. Even the doctor's assuring words that hundreds of his patients had gone through labour perfectly fine didn't make her feel any better about it.

'If Siac is fine and so is Dormé, then why are you so determined to scare her like this!' he demanded feeling protective and defensive of his beloved.

The things the doctor spoke of having to do with delivery was equally frightening. 'Could I die?' Dormé asked.

Anakin panicked, 'She could die?'

'It's highly unlikely that anything should happen to you, but we want to take every precaution and also have you tell us what your preferences are should the worst scenario happen. We just want to be prepared.'

The doctor went on to explain the reason for every single test, the bloodwork, the vitamins and pills, so that the young couple would hear it all for a second time. He was as patient as he could be. 'You are very young, but you're healthy and strong,' he told Dormé. 'If you continue with the regiment as I prescribed,' he looked at her seriously, 'then we shouldn't have any trouble.'

The doctor looked to Anakin and addressed him personally. 'The best thing you can do is to talk over the plans together with your—with Lady Dormé, and to make sure she has her vitamins. The reason we have the discussions about labour and delivery ahead of time is so that all of us are prepared.' he offered them both a smile and said he would see her again next week.

Dormé wondered if this had been a good idea after all, but knew just looking at the pictures of Siac that it would be scary but wonderful. 'Thank you for coming with me, Anakin,' she said giving him a hug before boarding the speeder.

'I didn't realise it was so much work! Force, it's a wonder how anyone could remember all of that!' Anakin said as he helped Dormé into the ship.

'I guess I didn't realise just how Siac was going to arrive. I just imagined him already in my arms, not how he is to be born. I didn't know all of that, nor how many different options there were. I certainly don't like the idea of him being cut out of me—' She shuddered at the thought.

'They better not try to cut Siac out of you! I'll stop them before it comes to that,' he assured her in determined tones. Truthfully the idea was just as frightening to him as it was to her.

'Good,' she exhaled in relief. 'Anything would be better than that! Although I am worried about if something did happen to me...' She looked at Anakin quite seriously as he started up the ship. 'Would you take care of Siac for me if I died? Would you be able to raise him?'

'Dormé, you're not going to die. It's not going to happen!' he said softly as he touched her cheek. 'Listen to me, nothing is going to go wrong, Siac is going to be fine and so will you. The doctor said they're making sure all the possibilities are covered,' he assured Dormé gently.

Dormé was worried at the off chance that should something happen to her, Siac wouldn't have anyone to care for him. 'But I don't have any other family—' she tried to argue, not wanting to consider returning to Uriash to see if her parents were still alive, not after the _urugal_ they put her through as a child.

'I promise I will care for our child, though we both know it won't ever come to that Dormé. But if it makes you feel better, then you have my word,' Anakin said in gentle, assuring tones.

'So should we find the rest of those meds he was talking about or you want to head back?' he asked. Anakin's eyes flickered to the warning that his messages were full and swiftly he shut it off, not wanting to view them just yet. He already knew what it was about and didn't want to think about it.

She nodded. 'Yes, I don't want to fail him anymore than I already have. I feel awful about that.'

'You haven't failed him, Dormé. It's not like you did it on purpose,' he said.

'Maybe I can have some sort of alarm to go off each day at the same time so I remember to take the medication?'

Giving her a playful poke, he said, 'Besides you got me to remind you when to take your vitamins now, so I'll be like your little alarm,' he teased as he poked her.

He laughed as Dormé swatted his hand away and soon was moving to poke her more. 'I'll be you little alarm—beep—beep, beep' he teased, mimicking the sounds of the comm chime.

Luckily the medicine and vitamins weren't as expensive as Dormé thought and she was glad that what he had to offer for trading even earned him extra credits in the exchange.

But Master Kenobi was far from pleased at his Padawan's disappearance and gave in to contacting him through thought-speech. _Anakin, you must return at once. I know you've shut off your comms, but I insist that you return before more of those under our command lose their lives due to your negligence—'_

'_Echuta_-_we_ he found me!' Anakin cursed witha sigh.

_I haven't been gone that long master! I just had an appointment! I'm almost done just need an hour and I'll be back I promise! _Anakin tried to argue, hoping to buy a little time so they could at least have lunch together.

'Master Kenobi?' she asked though she thought as much and frowned.

_An hour? Anakin, do you have any idea how irresponsible this is? And just what sort of appointment is worth risking more of the lives under your command? When you return, you have a lot of explaining to do. _Obi-Wan said resolutely.

Dormé's words echoed his thoughts and Anakin could only weakly nod as he frowned.

_They're skilled soldiers Master I'm sure they'll do fine if I'm gone for an hour, he said in grouchy tones._

'I have to leave in an hour,' he said to Dormé with a sigh. 'At least we'll still have time for lunch!' Anakin added with a small smile.

As much fun as it was eating and chatting with Anakin, unaware of the odd looks and stares they received from some of the other patrons, their hour together flew by and they had to part ways again.

With a heavy heart, she gave him a big hug and kissed his cheek, vowing to message him as often as she could, including pictures of their son, for she had the ability to do so now. She also reminded him of his own promises, though she wouldn't hold him to it since he was going back into the middle of galactic warfare. She knew one of these days the wars would be at an end and someday they would be able to be a real family. It was a dream that she would never give up on as long as she lived.

Parting ways was harder than Anakin could have ever imagined and knowing that he wouldn't be able to return to his beloved made it all the more difficult. Her kiss lingered on his cheek as did her words. Anakin couldn't wait to see the photos of their son and was already looking forward to receiving Dormé's messages.

He promised he would message her often and would remind her to take her vitamins. Though Anakin couldn't always keep that promise—as the Outer Rim's communications were sketchy at best, for the most part he was able to do so regularly.

So every morning—which was in reality his evening—Dormé would receive little notices reminding her of her vitamins and wishing her the best of day. Or before he'd depart for the frontlines, he'd wish her a good-night.

Just knowing she was able to hear his messages enabled Anakin to resist the growing darkness within. Dormé's silent presence seemed to hold him responsible and despite the temptation, the young Jedi Padawan was able to maintain some semblance of control, for the time being.

* * *

Coming up: Ferus and Anakin have a chance to catch up…

_'What's happened to her, Ferus? Is she all right?_ Echuta-we_! We're just standing here like fools; meanwhile, she could be dying!'_


	17. A Jedi's Devotion

Jedi Knight Ferus Olin returned to Coruscant from a campaign that lasted far too long for his liking. He would have much preferred to have been back on Coruscant earlier but had to go along with whatever the Council deemed necessary. The war had begun to drain him, but he remembered his promise to Dormé about keeping tabs on Anakin. Unfortunately, it was much harder than expected because they had not been assigned to work with or near each other in many months.

Ferus decided to stop by Dormé's residence, only to find that she had moved and that no one had her new address. This really disturbed him and without any leads to go on, he sent a short message to Anakin, only saying that he was very concerned about one of their friends and that he wanted to speak to Anakin personally about it. He didn't use names, knowing that it might be intercepted in spite of the security precautions that he took.

* * *

Anakin sent many messages to Dormé, reminding her to take her vitamins and images of their little one, duplicated from the last visit to the doctor. He cherished each message that she sent him, though he didn't speak about his time on the frontlines. He didn't want to tarnish their time together by talking about dreadful things. He was pleased to hear about her new friend, glad that she could have support of someone nearby.

His current reality was much gloomier than Anakin wished to acknowledge. He missed his beloved and his friend. He consequently used the dark side more than he wanted to. Without their support, it was difficult to resist the temptation. In some respects, he believed it would help end the war faster.

Upon receiving a message from Ferus that he was concerned about one of their friends, Anakin felt his heart race in fear. It could only mean one thing: something had happened to Dormé. Frantically, he sent a message to his beloved friend asking if everything was all right and if their little one was well. He promised he would return to Naboo as soon as he could and admitted that he wasn't the only one who was worried about her. Anakin didn't speak Ferus's name, but it was evident who he meant.

To Ferus, he sent another message, requesting his friend meet him on Naboo on the outskirts of Theed. Together they would check on their friend and ensure she was all right. As loathed as Anakin was to involve Ferus in his private life, the young Jedi couldn't deny his appreciation of his friend's concern for Dormé and for letting him know.

Due to communication problems, Anakin never received word from Dormé which only added to his concerns. Fortunately for him, his own campaign was wrapping up meaning he woudl be able to return home and soon. Even so, the ever frantic and fearful Anakin made arrangements to depart for Naboo several days ahead of schedule.

Arriving to Naboo Anakin frantically tried to contact Dormé via his holo-comm. Though he promised to meet Ferus within the region, his impatience and fear ensured that he couldn't stay put for long and soon Anakin was racing off to Dorme's temporary home.

* * *

Ferus ought to have thought his brief message through more carefully before sending it to Anakin. He ought to have known Anakin would overreact. Anakin's frantic reply made Ferus wish he could have been more specific, but as it was, Anakin wanted him to meet him in Theed. Getting to Theed wasn't a problem, but finding a reason to leave would be quite another challenge.

It was only out of respect for his former Master that he spoke to her and informed her that he had something to attend to but that he would be back shortly. He didn't give Master Arxia details, but that she could contact him any time if the Council learnt of his quick sidetrip.

Powering up his Jedi fighter, the newly made Knight soared out through the atmosphere, setting his navigation to take him to Naboo. When he arrived at the coordinates Anakin suggested, he found Anakin's ship, and sensed his Force signature was on the move.

Using the Force, Ferus ran swiftly to catch up with him. 'Hey, Anakin—wait up! Where's Dormé?'

'What happened to her Ferus? Is she all right? Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? She hasn't returned my message—what if she's in the medical labs! Echuta-we and we're just standing here like fools meanwhile she could be dying!'

'Dying—Anakin, what do you mean? What's happened?' Ferus tried to inquire, but his friend was hardly in the mood for conversation. He wondered what Dormé was doing on Naboo, but didn't have time to question it.

The moment they arrived, Anakin used the Force to open the door, not bothering with a chime. They raced upstairs to Siac's future bedroom, dashing past servants and other household workers. Ferus attempted to call out apologies as he rushed after Anakin who had a good lead on him.

Upon seeing her Anakin raced over to her side and was soon pulling her into a tight embrace. 'Oh Dormé, are you OK? I heard you were in trouble and I was so scared!' he exclaimed in frantic tones.

Completely caught off guard, for she was deep in thought, Dormé yelped at their abrupt entrance.

'Are you all right?' Ferus asked, looking around the room in search of a foe he could not see.

Anakin immediately held Dormé close and began to ramble on about his fears. 'We thought you were in trouble, Dormé! I got a message from Ferus saying he was worried about you and Ferus never worries about anything unless its something terrible—'

'Anakin! What—Ferus! What are you two doing here?' she gasped.

'I'm fine—but I don't understand—' Dormé gasped in confusion, looking between the two Jedi.

Searching the room and finding not threat, Ferus also moved to give her a brief hug. 'I was looking all over for you—and when I couldn't find you on Coruscant, I contacted Anakin—'

Anakin faltered just as Ferus gave Dormé a brief hug. Through the Force he found nothing wrong with Dormé or the baby and couldn't resist a loud sigh of relief. _Echuta-we_ you're all right!' Anakin sighed in relief.

Only then did Anakin catch onto Ferus's words. 'Wait a minute—you scared the life out of me because you didn't know that Dormé moved?' Anakin blurted out in shock and disbelief.

'That was what that message was about? Why didn't you just ask me where she moved to!' Anakin snapped as he gave Ferus an incredulous look.

'_Iquicha_ me I was so terrified thinking that all these awful things happened to Dormé and Siac!' he stammered feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

'Oh no, this is all my fault,' Dormé said, apologising. 'I should have told you, but I wasn't thinking, Ferus. I'm sorry. Everything happened so quickly—'

Anakin frowned as he sighed. 'Well Ferus could have asked if you moved instead of scaring the life out of me!' he grumbled though it was clear he was too relieved to care now.

'You're pregnant—' Ferus observed.

'Yes—' Dormé blushed uncontrollably, feeling very in the middle of things and unsure how to respond to any of this.

'We've named him Siac! Well Dormé came up with the name I'm not very good with names,' he confessed.

'I'm sorry that you were both so worried about me. I didn't receive any messages from you, Anakin—or else I would have been able to tell you that I'm all right.'

'I got your last message and presumed you had gotten mine, so I thought communications were running again—seems I was a wrong,' he said with annoyance.

'I went to your old apartment, but no one knew where you went and I thought something bad might have happened,' Ferus explained. 'That's why I contacted Anakin in hopes he would know where you went.'

'Dammit I hate fighting in the outer rim!' he groused. He looked to Ferus and raised a brow. 'You never asked me where she went you just said you were worried about—oh that's what you meant,' Anakin said in sheepish tones upon realizing he had misunderstood Ferus's message entirely.

Ferus was quite surprised and taken aback by all of the news and didn't know what to say. Anakin and Dormé were having a baby together. Dormé had moved to this really nice home on Naboo... His thoughts were turning over and over in his head, wondering what he would be doing in Anakin's shoes, and also thinking about how young Dormé was to be having and caring for a child. She was just a teenager.

'In spite of the circumstances, I am glad to see you both,' Dormé said, trying to make light of the situation. 'Are you two hungry?'

Ferus blushed, feeling incredibly out of place. As much as he wanted to know what happened and why Dormé was here, he refrained from questioning her until he found an appropriate moment to do so.

'Can I help?' he offered. Despite his inability when it came to cooking Anakin found it fascinating to be in the kitchen and loved to help where he could.

'Of course you can help!' Dormé said cheerfully as she took her friend's hand and beckoned to Ferus to join them.

Anakin grinned feeling Ferus's surprise clearly not understanding his friend's concern. 'Don't worry, Ferus, we'll be ready by the time Siac arrives! I've been doing my studying too! And reminding Dormé to take her vitamins!' he said proudly.

'He's been a very good help and I know he'll be an excellent daddy,' Dormé said, grinning from ear-to-ear as she took Anakin's arm.

Most of the servants and other people working in Saché's home were curious about the two Jedi and remained outside the door of the kitchen, trying to listen in and learn anything of their escapades.

Dormé set about making something that would be filling and good to eat at any time of the day. She wasn't sure if Ferus would like it, but knew that Anakin would. It was quite a feat working with the two of them, but even with all the elbows, there was much laughter and joy to be had before they would be enjoying their meal.

'I know the visit was an impromptu one, but I hope I'm not keeping you, either of you, from anything terribly important?' Dormé said as she popped another piece of fruit into her mouth. 'If I had my way, I'd keep you both here!'

'Unless you consider boring meditations at the temple as important I'd have to say no,' Anakin teased as he stirred the juice he was making. 'Besides I think you and the baby's safety is by far the most important thing on my list,' Anakin assured her.

'Good!' she teased back, bumping into Anakin on purpose as she stirred the batter. 'We had better be.' She was only jesting, but also had to admit how much she enjoyed both of their company, even if it was only for a short while.

'If I had my way I'd never leave either,' Anakin said about to draw her into a kiss before catching himself and refraining.

Ferus averted his eyes, but not too quickly to notice that the pair didn't end up kissing. Something was wrong, he sensed it from both of his friends, but knew it wasn't his place to question it or to interfere. Instead, he focused on cutting up the vegetables and placing them into the pan, remarking, 'I hardly think my former master was happy about it, but at least I gave her notice.'

'Since when did you become such a stickler to the rules, Ferus!'

'I am not a stickler, not like you Master is—' he began in his own defence.

'Oh force help me, there is no one who's as strict as Master Kenobi! I bet he's never had a day of fun in his life!' Anakin said as he laughed. 'If I remember correctly you used to sneak out more than me!' Anakin teased in amusement.

'I can't say that I was very pleased about the time I spent in the Outer Rims either. I'm with Anakin; I hate the war more than anything.'

'Oh Force, no talking about the war, we're off duty!' Anakin remarked as he poked out his tongue. In truth his reasons for silence were far more dark than Ferus's were.

Holding his hands up, Ferus, cried, 'OK, OK! No more talking about it!' After a moment, he added, 'Even though you were the one who brought it up,' under his breath.

This caused Dormé to laugh aloud.

'You were the one who got so drunk that I had to practically carry you home—'

He grinned impishly to Ferus's words about to continue when Ferus continued. 'I wasn't that that drunk! I only had like—maybe five drinks! Besides it was your brillant idea to go to that club in the first place!'

'Wait, what's this?' Dormé asked in curiosity as the main part of their meal went into the oven.

'Five? Are you sure? I think it was closer to ten!' Ferus crowed, quite distracted by the memories to think anything of the other Force signatures tat he sensed on the other side of the kitchen door. 'I didn't make you go to there with me, you practically begged me to take you!'

'I only begged because you were bragging about your new girlfriend that you were smooching! I wanted to see if she was real or not!' Anakin teased though it was clear he did believe that Ferus had kissed many pretty girls, after all he was very popular with them. 'And for the record how was I supposed to know that there was a table in the middle of the my quarters? It was pitch black—' Anakin said in defense about to lean back against the wall only to discover a little too late that it was the door.

It parted causing the eavesdropping servants to tumble forward just as Anakin tumbled back with a shout and a curse.

'Oh _echuta-we_! I'm so sorry!' he stammered in embarrassment as he realised that he had practically fallen onto the servants who in reality had almost fallen into him.

Dormé jumped. 'Ladies!' she cried, wondering what in the urugal they were doing there.

'Are you ladies all right?' Ferus asked, jumping over to offer them a hand.

Two of them were blushing at the site of Ferus, whom they found to be quite attractive. The others were focused on Anakin, which made Dormé a little more than jealous, though she wouldn't say anything about it.

It took Anakin all his strength not to snicker as Ferus, oblivious to the obvious, tried to be a gentleman to the ladies causing them to blush and trip over their words. Once alone Anakin gave Ferus a knowing smile.

'Would you like to join us?' Ferus offered politely. 'It's just about finished and I'm sure we'll have enough...'

'Oh, no, no—'

'Thanks—'

'It's all right—'

They all stammered in their embarrassment, avoiding Dormé's eyes. Swiftly bowing, they excused themselves, whispering to each other either chidingly or remarking about the attractive young Jedi Knights.

'Seems you've found some fans!' Anakin teased his friend in amusement.

'Fans?' Ferus asked, having barely noticed the young girls, let alone saw that they were remotely interested in him in that way. 'What d'you mean—those girls?' He chuckled, shaking his head. 'I don't think so...'

'I think so,' Dormé replied sweetly. 'Especially the one whose hand you helped when you helped her to her feet. I think they've got quite an interest in the two of you,' she added. 'Especially you, Ferus.'

Anakin laughed. 'She's right; they're definitely into you!' Anakin loved to make Ferus blush and seeing him glowing red made embarrassing himself definitely worthwhile.

Ferus blushed deeply, running a hand through his hair. 'If it's all the same, I'd rather—' He was about to admit that he would rather do her honour than try to impress some other woman, but knew it was hardly his place. After all, Anakin was already Dormé's husband and they were expecting a child. 'I'd much rather focus on other pursuits,' he concluded as he set the table for three.

'Focus on other pursuits? Like what? Meditations and training—Come on, Ferus. when did you get so boring!' Anakin teased as he helped his friend set the table. His eyes met Dormé's gaze and what he saw briefly sent a chill down his spine. Yes, it was obvious that Ferus needed someone special. But now that Dormé was free and single, Anakin found himself desperately hoping that she wouldn't decide that Ferus was meant to fulfill this role. At the same time, could he blame her if she did?

Ferus just scratched the back of his neck nervously as he tried not to admit that he still had feelings for Dormé, even though she had been Anakin's wife for many years. It was best left unsaid. 'Well I am a Knight now, you know,' Ferus replied at Anakin's remarks. 'I have to get a Padawan to train eventually...but I want to be sure that I'm ready for that responsibility too.'

'I think you'd make a fine teacher, or I mean Master, that's what they're called, right?' Dormé said kindly. 'I think you'd be a good Master.'

Ferus shrugged his shoulders. Though he was grateful for Dormé's thoughts on his abilities, he was also hesitant about taking a Padawan for other reasons, namely that he didn't really feel as though he belonged with the Jedi, except for the fact he was keeping an eye on Anakin as best he could, as this was Dormé's request of him. He wasn't about to deny a lady their wishes, even if Dormé was not his lady.

Dormé took his silence as being humble, for she didn't know Ferus as well as she knew Anakin. For if it had been Anakin, she would have known something was wrong and would have given him some type of reassurance that he could speak to her about it if he wanted to.

Ferus's silence and polite reply wasn't missed on him. Neither was the obvious emotions Ferus held for Dormé. For the first time in his life, Anakin understood what meant to be truly afraid. Not because of Ferus's feelings for Dormé, or even the possibility that she would one day return them. Rather what Anakin knew he would do should it ever come to it.

Quietly, he finished setting the table not quite registering the discussion that occurred behind him. Anakin tried to ignore how his hands shook as he struggled to clear his thoughts. Using the Dark Side to protect the innocent and bring justice to the guilty was one thing. Using it out of revenge and jealousy was another entirely.

'If you want, you could help me with unpacking the latest shipment of baby things for Siac's room after we eat,' she remarked kindly, knowing that Anakin wouldn't want to talk about what he had been up to lately.

Dormé's light mood pulled him out of his dark thoughts and Anakin smiled as he found himself distracted. Anakin's eyes lit up to the idea. 'Oh yes, I'd love to!' he said in hopeful tones. 'That reminds me I've been working on making some toys for Siac—when he's a little older of course. It's in the ship,' he said with a sheepish smile. 'I have them in the ship—it's some toys I thought he'd like,' he said with a grin. 'I'm making him a crib too but its currently hidden in parts on the ship,' he confessed in sheepish tones.

As he poured them some juice, Anakin couldn't help but sigh in contentment. 'I've missed this—just being able to do this without any interruptions,' Anakin said before breathing in deeply. 'Nevermind being able to eat a real meal!'

Though Ferus was older and ought to have been more mature that Anakin, there were many times in which he was just as guilty of being immature. He hadn't really kissed all of those girls that he said he had and was far less experienced in such things as Anakin was. Part of him was jealous of Anakin for that, especially since he had held such strong feelings for Darra.

Ferus still loved his dear friend who had passed into the Force too soon and it was the difficulty in accepting her death that caused him to originally realise his inability to completely adhere to the Jedi doctrine. His friendship with Anakin and Dormé also leant to this. Also, the fact that he could inwardly acknowledge his growing feelings for Dormé and know that such feelings weren't wrong or hateful, just that they needed to be controlled in a positive and just fashion increased his beliefs that the Jedi Order was not where he belonged.

'I've been trying to message you almost every night but the communications hasn't been great,' Anakin said in frustrated tones. 'But that reminds me—' he said in hopeful tones as he fiddled with his utility belt. For the moment his fears were but forgotten. Removing a small data chip, he offered it to Dormé. 'I think this will solve our communications problem. I got it from the blackmarket. Its often used to make contact in the outer regions were its nearly impossible!

'Apparently its got a longer range so we won't have to worry about our comm channels cutting out anymore!' Anakin said with a grin. It did't occur to him that he hadn't bothered giving one to Padmé, or that he had even contacted her in months. Then again Padmé hadn't either.

'Anakin, this is perfect!' Dormé exclaimed, taking the device in her hand. 'It doesn't look too difficult to use either!' She was visibly impressed and had to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Anakin beamed to Dormé's words though his cheeks warmed to her kiss. His fears for the moment faded away as he was thrilled to know she liked his gift. It was also a relief to know that he had done well in making it accessible to her. It was the least he could do especially after all he had put her through and yet Anakin knew it was not nearly enough.

Dormé wanted to see everything Anakin had been working on, but also knew that their ships were both quite a distance. She didn't mind the walk, though Ferus seemed overly concerned about it. 'It's good to get exercise,' she told him.

Anakin was sheepish at first and like Ferus, a little concerned as well. 'I can just bring it over for you it wouldn't take long-' he began before Ferus cut in admitted his concerns. Suddenly Anakin wasn't sure he wanted to leave Dormé alone with Ferus.

'Even the doctor said so,' Dormé insisted. 'Don't worry!'

After seeing the bits and pieces of the crib as well as some of the toys Anakin was working on, they returned to Saché's home and went back to Siac's room to put a play area together for when he was big enough to sit up on his own.

It was with humble pride that he showed his friends the gifts he had made for Siac. With great care he collected the completed gifts and carried it back to Saché's home. Though Anakin's gifts were certainly too big for a newborn baby he enjoyed helping Dormé set them up in the new play room and was soon speaking of the adventures he looked forward to sharing with their son.

Only when Dormé had decided to wash up did reality return to Anakin. As his eyes watched her leave with a silent longing, Anakin found himself once more reminded of everything he had lost in his attempts to answer his mother's last promise.

Ferus, too, looked longingly after Dormé as she left the room, though he was quick to turn his thoughts on other things. He also noticed Anakin's expression and felt the weight of the emotions through the Force, though Anakin was always very expressive. He ventured to inquire further about Dormé's sudden flight. 'So she did tell you why she had to move?' he said as more of a question than a statement. 'I should have been more specific in my message to you and for that I do apologise. I just didn't want anyone to infer anything—'

'She had to move because of the baby—because I—' he fell silent as he glanced away. Where to begin? More importantly, could Anakin trust Ferus?

Ferus interjected, 'Why didn't you tell me the two of you are having a baby?' He felt a little disheartened that his supposed best friend would fail to tell him about this good news. He knew it wasn't supposed to be and that Dormé was rather young, but even so, he thought his friend would have told him.

'Because there is no we anymore, Ferus. The Jedi Order saw to it personally,' Anakin said quietly as he swallowed hard. 'They had our marriage dissolved. I would never have known had it not been the Chancellor who learnt of it.'

'When did that happen?'

Anakin gave a heavy sigh to Ferus's shocked response. His reply was hardly unexpected or surprising. 'It happened shortly after we were married. The chancellor was doing data on a census or something when he stumbled onto the information.

'He did an investigation and learned the Order didn't approve and therefore dissolved our marriage.' Even now, it was hard to speak of it without feeling as though his heart were being torn out of his chest. Anakin could only imagine how much worse it had been for Dormé but swiftly buried the thought.

Ferus put the news to mind, recalling how long Dormé had assumed they were still married. 'You never told her, did you...not until after—Oh man,' Ferus sighed, imaging what the news must have been like for Dormé, especially after finding out she was pregnant. He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling.

Anakin closed his eyes for a moment before meeting his friend's gaze. 'I couldn't bring myself to do it—I wanted her to live our dream just a little while longer. It's the very least she deserves,' he admitted in pained tones. 'But in the end, I failed anyway,' Anakin murmured quietly.

There was more he knew it had to be said, yet it was so hard to admit to without fully explaining himself. 'When my father died, he made my brother, Obi-Wan, promise to train me despite what the Council might say. He sacrificed his freedom, and his chance to further his position in the Order in order to train me.

'Years later, our mother was captured by the Tuskan Raiders and she too gave me a final wish that I promised to keep,' Anakin said quietly. 'She wanted me to marry Padmé. It was her wish for me to be with her—I suppose it was because as a child I thought I loved her. I know better now, and now its my turn to make the sacrifice.'

'Wait, you're saying Dormé and you are having a baby together, but you're married to Padmé? I don't understand!'

Anakin nodded to Ferus's shocked question as he looked away fighting back his emotions as best he could. 'Yes—I didn't know she was pregnant when I married Padmé—' he confessed sadly.

'You married her just because your mother told you to? But you love Dormé, don't you?' He almost sought the truth from Anakin because if Anakin said he didn't love Dormé anymore, it would be a relief, that perhaps one day he could hold Dormé's heart.

He looked quickly at his friend. His eyes shone with unshed tears as he swallowed hard. 'I wanted to honour my mother the way Obi-Wan had honoured our father. But I still love Dormé, I know I shouldn't but I can't help it Ferus—she's everything to me.' There it was out in the open, yet no relief could be found.

Ferus's silence haunted him eating at Anakin's fears and doubts. Did he really just admit to the truth to his friend knowing fully well the power the young knight now had? Suddenly Anakin felt as though the walls were closing in as he nervously fiddled with his utility belt praying for some semblance of control.

Anakin stared ahead out the window. Speaking his mind and what weighed on his heart did little to ease his conscience. In fact, it only encouraged his need to continue to speak all that he didn't dare discuss with anyone, not even Dormé.

Ferus swallowed hard, bowing his head for a moment to gain the courage to speak. 'Anakin... I know the three of us have been friends for a long time and sometimes it was better than others, but I wanted you to know that I have feelings for her that go beyond friendship.' He looked at Anakin and confessed with great sincerity.

Anakin looked to his friend sharply his expression a mixture of fear and rage. Could he really blame Ferus? Did he have any right to stop him if he so chose to pursue his feelings?

'Regardless of how Dormé feels, I want you to know that I would never cross that line out of my respect and honour for you as my friend.'

In another time, Anakin would have scanned Ferus's mind, doubting the truth that was held in his words. But the look in his friend's eyes spoke volumes and Anakin couldn't deny the sincerity found in them. His own gaze wavered as he felt both humbled and honoured by the words spoken. He would never forget this moment for as long as he lived.

Anakin could only imagine how difficult such a statement had to have been and wondered then if Ferus knew just how much his words meant to him. One thing was certain, Ferus was by far a greater man than Anakin could ever hope to become.

Biting his lip, he silently approached and pulled the young Jedi Knight into a tight embrace. 'You are a good man Ferus, and an even better friend. Thank you,' he whispered before drawing back.

'You're the best friend I have,' he admitted just as he was abruptly hugged by Anakin. It was awkward at first, for it was a rare occasion that Jedi would express emotion, but Ferus felt that it was right. Tears came to his eyes as he realised just how badly he needed a hug from a friend like that. The last time he was ever hugged was when Darra passed away. Though it was awkward at first, Ferus soon embraced Anakin in return as tears escaped.

Ferus's assurances meant so much to Anakin who couldn't help but embrace his friend out of gratitude. Fighting back tears of his own Anakin clapped his friend's back before drawing back. He couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with friendships, or why the council saw in it in such a poor light. If anything it was his friendship to Dormé and Ferus that kept him sane during this dark time.

Ferus wiped his tears with the sleeve of his tunic and sniffed the rest back. It was times like these in which he wanted to be done with the Jedi Order. So much of what was ingrained in them since the beginning of their training had to do with letting go. He was hardly about to council Anakin on letting go of his attachment to Dormé, regardless of the circumstances.

'She is a good woman, Anakin. I know it's not much, but I will do whatever I can to assure her safety and the safety of your son. Regardless of what the Council would say about it, I'm your friend and Dormé's friend for life.'

'I will hold you to that,' he said in sincere tones before giving a shaky sigh. 'I'm scared for her—I'm scared of what I'm becoming without her. What it will mean for us, and for our son,' Anakin confessed softly.

'I can't say that I blame you,' Ferus replied softly, trying to take it all in. But for Dormé to have believed that it was a true marriage for three years and then to have it come crashing down on her. He didn't know which was worse.

'I'm falling to the dark side, Ferus. I don't know how much longer I can hold out before the Order learns of it-nevermind Dormé or anyone else.' Anakin fell silent then feeling as though a great weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders. It was such a relief to have someone to turn to, someone who understood where he was coming from and could be trusted. Though Ferus believed his promise to protect his family was a small matter, for the young padawan it meant everything.

'The dark side, but Anakin—why?'

Ferus's reaction was expected but it didn't stop Anakin's cheeks from burning in shame and embarrassment. 'Why? I should think it's obvious enough!' Anakin exclaimed.

'At least they both alive and well!' Ferus exclaimed. 'I couldn't say the same thing when Darra passed on—I felt it, the temptation, but I didn't give in to it...' Shaking his head, he tried to figure out just where Anakin was coming from.

As Ferus spoke of his own temptations, Anakin bit his lip as his fingers fiddled with his utility belt. He wanted to speak the truth of Darra's passing, but wasn't sure if now was a good time. He needed Ferus's support and if the truth would place him back at those crossroads, than perhaps it was best he didn't admit to, not yet.

'The Order says one thing, but they mean another. They claim they want peace and yet they support this war. They say they believe in harmony and yet they destroy it by tearing children away from their families and separating husbands and wives from each other.

'I know the Order isn't perfect, but that doesn't mean I would choose the Sith over the Jedi,' Ferus tried to argue. He realised just how personal all of this was for Anakin and knew whatever he had to stay in argument would pale in comparison.

'Of course you wouldn't Ferus! You're a good man, a noble knight—I'm not,' Anakin pressed on in frustration. He couldn't blame Ferus for not understanding.

'I'm not that noble,' Ferus replied, shaking his head. It was still hard to speak of such things, but just as the opportunity presented itself, it was gone.

'I hate having to pretend I'm something I'm not and with each day that passes, I find myself struggling more than ever to contain my hatred of the Order and the promises I made both to my mother and the Jedi. I want to serve the light side, but only when Dormé was mine did I understand how to do it. Now I just—go through the motions because it's demanded of me. I want to make things right again, but I don't know how to do it anymore.'

'You can serve the light side. Anakin, whatever you say, Dormé is still—'

Dormé was the reason he was even still a Jedi. Without her—Anakin knew he wouldn't have a hope. 'But what if using the dark side could free me from Padmé—from the Order—' Anakin faltered then as reality returned to him with a vengeance. Ferus was right; there would be no peaceful end if he were to travel down that path. Even now his actions haunted him and suddenly Anakin wondered what Dormé would do if she knew the truth, would she still love him? Would she still have faith in him? Or would she turn her back like he knew everyone else would.

'I doubt that embracing the dark side will do anything but destroy lives...'

Anakin bit his lip as he looked to his friend. 'Do you think—would she forgive me?' he asked in far weaker tones than he would have liked. He never had the chance to hear Ferus's thoughts as Dormé returned and Anakin's mood immediately shifted.

Ferus had to disagree. 'It would be better not to use the Force at all,' he replied grimly. He understood where Anakin was coming from, especially after making some bad choices and not thinking things through ahead of time, but he knew that the dark side would just make things worse. He couldn't deny that it hadn't been a temptation of his own, but didn't have a chance to go into detail.

'Not to use the Force at all? How is that even possible? The Force is as much a part of us as the air we breathe!' Anakin argued before sighing softly. 'I just wish the war would finally end—I think its bringing out the worst in all of us,' he confessed.

'It's not that long now before you'll be a Knight too and we'll be free to leave the Order. We won't have to worry about their rules and their doctrine—I said I'd stick with you too and I meant it.'

'You're a stronger man than I am, Ferus; you always were,' Anakin admitted with a sad smile.

When Dormé emerged, she spotted the two Jedi in deep conversation and wasn't sure if she ought to interrupt. It was easy for her to forget that they could both sense her approaching.

Ferus looked back at her and offered her a smile, even though he was looking straight at Anakin.

'Dormé! Come join us!' he invited as his expression turned boyish.

Having no idea what the pair had been discussing, she beamed at them as she approached and had a seat nearby. 'So what are you two up to?'

'Nothing,' Ferus replied softly, 'just talking.'

'About?'

'About you,' Ferus said, though he wasn't about to disclose anything. 'I'm glad you have a good home here, Dormé. I admit, when I showed up at your old apartment to find you gone, I was worried something had happened to you. I want you to know—just as I have already said to Anakin—that I will do whatever I can to make sure that you and your son are safe.'

Dormé was a bit confused by this, for she had hoped she had walked into a lighter conversation, but at the same time, she appreciated Ferus's friendship. 'I know with the two of you looking out for us we'll be very safe indeed!' she said cheerfully, giving Ferus a brief hug and Anakin a kiss on the cheek.

Giving Dormé a squeeze as she kissed his cheek Anakin smiled feeling his mood lightened. Recalling Ferus's admittance Anakin felt a twinge of jealousy as Dormé allowed his friend to touch Siac. But it was a fleeting thought for Anakin knew his friend had been open with him despite the risk involved and that too eased his doubts. 'I just know Siac is going to love his uncle!' Anakin said with a smile as he watched on.

Siac began kicking her and she gasped, 'I think Siac is in agreement! Here—feel it?' she asked Ferus as she took his hand and placed it where Siac's foot pressed outwards.

Ferus was baffled by the gesture, feeling a bit as though he were intruding on something private, but at the same time he couldn't help feeling honoured that he was allowed a part it this. It was in times like this that he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the Jedi found Siac.

He couldn't bear to think of them taking Siac away from Dormé. 'I won't tell anyone,' he swore to the parents, even though they were well enough aware that he would keep their secrets. And I swear to you, the Jedi will have to go through me first before laying a hand on Siac.' After what Anakin told him about the Jedi annulling their marriage, he didn't dare to think what could happen if they found out about the baby.

'Thank you, Ferus,' Dormé said with all sincerity.

Meeting his friend's gaze Anakin nodded in agreement to Dormé's words. 'Our son means everything to us, thank you.'

hr

Later that night, Ferus found it hard to sleep and took to pacing on the ground floor in the foyer. It wasn't until one of the serving girls mentioned there was a nice garden outside that he took up the offer to walk outside instead. He knew he wasn't needed here on Naboo, not now, not while Anakin was here for Dormé, but he couldn't make himself leave. He also knew the high council would be ordering him on another mission soon and he didn't want to return to the frontlines. He wished this blasted war was over with already and that Anakin would be knighted so that they could end it.

Ferus was so consumed with his own thoughts that it took him a moment before registering the serving girl's presence. She was still following him. He whipped around to face her and she looked quite startled.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt,' she apologised. She quickly explained that she had been working late and noticed him wandering but also wanted to see the gardens for herself for she hadn't had the opportunity since she first started working here. 'I heard the flowers change colours depending on the season,' she concluded.

Ferus remained silent as the girl rambled on nervously until she reached her conclusion. 'I wouldn't mind the company,' he finally said with a shrug. At least her presence would get his mind off things he had no control over.

A drowsiness set upon Ferus as his steps slowed in the garden outside. He eventually found a bench and curled up on it. It seemed that even this hard bench was like the softest bed. All was right in the galaxy, at least for the moment, and the peace exuding from within the home was enough to keep it that way long enough for Ferus to get a quality of sleep he had not received in a long time.

The serving girls, who had escorted him to the garden, darted indoors to find a blanket. She carefully placed it over the sleeping Jedi before going to her own bed.

hr

Meanwhile, Siac was not letting Dormé sleep, which in turn made her quite restless. This caused her to long for Anakin's presence in bed with her even more overwhelming than before. She had no right to ask him, for he wasn't hers anymore and the couch was hardly a very comfortable place for her with how far along she was carrying Siac.

_Anakin, are you asleep?_ she whispered into his mind. She hoped she wasn't disturbing him.

Though Anakin knew he needed the rest he couldn't quite make himself fall asleep on the couch the way he always did. It seemed now even in this place he couldn't close his eyes without seeing the faces of his victims or hear Ferus's warning in his mind. Like Dormé it wasn't long before he was tossing and turning, trying to find a place that would be comfortable enough to permit him rest. It was then that he caught her gentle whisper in his mind and immediately he sat up.

_Dormé? You awake?_ he whispered back all the while debating whether or not he if he should go to her bedchambers and see if everything was all right. It was hard to tell what was right and wrong to do when it came to such matters now. It left him wishing he had Ferus's insight or Obi-Wan's wisdom. But Obi-Wan was on Coruscant and Ferus -if he read his Force signature correctly- was somewhere out on the gardens and indisposed.

_Is everything all right? Can I get you something?_ he asked politely believing she was thirsty or a bit hungry. Soon his feet were carrying him off to the kitchen where he went to pour Dormé a glass of blue milk.

_It's Siac. He's restless...It's hard to sleep_, she confessed. _It's all right. I didn't mean to wake you..._ Dormé had hoped it wasn't the case, but also missed Anakin so much. There were times when it hurt so badly while he was gone that it was as though her very soul were being torn asunder.

Anakin thought perhaps it was the excitement of the day that kept Siac awake. 'Dormé? You sure it's all right?' he asked through the door. 'Is it something serious? Should I call a medic?' he asked unaware that it was normal for babies to move about. 'Is he hurting you? Is there something I can do?' he asked in concern. As much as he wanted to walk right on in Anakin knew it wasn't his place, not anymore.

Dormé heard Anakin through the door and slid out of bed to approach. She wasn't thinking about what was appropriate because she was tired. For this reason, she opened the door. Dormé was about to explain that everything was fine, that this was normal and something Siac had begun to do quite often, though he was especially active at the moment. But something stopped Dormé from being able to speak. She looked up at Anakin with his messy hair, Padawan braid, and concerned expression and something within Dormé seemed to give her this sense of foreboding as though she were on the precipice of a very long drop.

Dormé's hesitance only added to his concerns and Anakin studied her intently feeling that all too familiar sinking feeling of fear. For a moment he could see it mirror in her amber eyes that sense of impending darkness. He had seen it often enough in his victims eyes but seeing it in his beloved friends was frightening in ways he couldn't hope to explain.

For some reason, it felt as though this was the last time she would ever see Anakin. She didn't know why she felt this way, for it was a silly and irrational thought. She just felt it very powerfully for a second and then it was gone. Caught up in the feeling of that terrible loss, Dormé flung her arms around his neck and held him close.

Startled he didn't respond at first feeling uncertain what to make of all that he had witnessed. 'You all right?' Anakin stammered.

She exhaled and slowly released him. 'I'm fine. I'm sorry that I worried you... I just—I had difficulty sleeping. He's done this before and the doctor said it was normal. He's just been very active today.'

She stepped back and it was almost as though nothing had ever happened. Anakin furrowed his brow asking if she needed a medic as he couldn't help but fear the worst. After all the death he had seen and contributed on the front lines it was hard to think of life in the same way as he once did.

'So he's OK? And you're OK?' he asked in hesitant tones before sighing in relief. 'Oh thank the Force Dormé you scared me there for a moment I thought—nevermind what i thought,' he said in sheepish tones before falling silent as his eyes fell to her lips.

Her eyes fell to the floor momentarily, before looking back at him. She couldn't pretend she didn't have other things on her mind as well. Even if they were no longer married, he was still her best friend.

The temptation was there, and it would have been so easy—too easy in fact but Anakin knew better than to act upon his emotions. Doing so would be disrespectful to not only to Dormé but Padmé as well.

'Maybe it's not just me but also Siac who has a hard time being calm and sleeping well without you.' She meant this in completely innocent terms, as one friend to another.

Her words touched his heart and Anakin's expression softened as he met her gaze and gave a shy smile. 'Well you two aren't the only ones,' he confessed softly.

'I mean—if it's all right and you don't mind—I could rest with you. I won't do anything disrespectful or stuff like that,' he stammered feeling nervous and awkward at the same time hopeful. He missed holding Dormé even if it was just that.

'D'you feel that?' she asked, grabbing his hand and slipping it to her torso. 'Is that a hand? It feels like his hand pressing me—five tiny corners.' She laughed lightly before returning to the bed.

Dormé knew just what to say to lighten the mood and soon a smile crept into his features as his fingers slipped over her growing torso. His eyes lit up as he met her gaze. 'I can feel him Dormé—he's strong,' Anakin breathed in awe before blushing. 'Though I'm sure you already know that first hand,' he added with a sheepish grin.

It wasn't the same as it was before, when she still thought that they were married; however, Dormé missed Anakin as a person, as a friend. Even if he wasn't hers anymore, he was still her best friend and it was so much easier to rest with him by her side. Even Siac seemed to have calmed down, which allowed Dormé to sleep peacefully asleep.

Anakin was incredibly aware of his close proximity to Dormé and of his desires. It was out of respect for her that he slept in his clothes despite how uncomfortable it was for him. Nothing was what it used to be anymore and it made Anakin feel much older than his nineteen years upon realizing just how desperate he had become for such stolen moments as these. It was a fleeting thought as Anakin knew where such thoughts would take him. Closing his eyes he allowed himself to breathe her in, to feel her silken hair touching his brow and smell her soft scent. It wasn't long after that he was drifting off to sleep despite himself. Harmony was said to be found in the most unexpected places. But the harmony found in Dormé's arms weren't unexpected; they were undeserved.

By morning he actually felt well rested another first in ages though Anakin was also incredibly conscious of his position and his location. Carefully he moved to disentangle himself from Dormé so as not to disturb her from her rest. But her lips met his cheeks and even in his sleepy state Anakin thought he had woken her up. 'Oh I'm sorry Dormé—I was just going to wash up,' he confessed in sheepish tones. 'I didn't mean to wake you.'

She shook her head, still smiling at him. 'Not at all. Siac's up and probably wants me to eat breakfast—'

Waking up to harsh reality was something Anakin was growing used to. However Dormé's smile gave him a good distraction and with shy fingers he touched her cheek as he sighed softly. 'I'm glad, though I wouldn't want to keep our son waiting for breakfast!' he said with a warm smile as he helped her up from the bed.

'I don't suppose I could help-with making breakfast I mean,' he offered wanting to keep the mood light. It wasn't real none of it yet he still clung to the past, pretending in his own way that nothing had changed. It was the in reality the only thing that was keeping him sane anymore, but this wasn't something he wanted to share with her.

As he slipped off to wash up he felt Ferus's Force signature nearing and wondered with an amused grin if his friend was as hungry as he always was in the morning. And to think that Obi-Wan believed he had a hearty appetite. Clearly he had never witnessed his friend eat when he was hungry!

* * *

Meanwhile, Ferus nearly fell off the bench, when he caught himself and woke up. He held in a curse, but stumbled to his feet. He folded the blanket and took it back indoors, hoping to return it to its owner. He remembered the young woman who had been with him in the gardens for a little while and thought her kind-hearted spirit had decided he needed the blanket. He wanted to thank her, but she was nowhere to be found.

His comm blared, alerting him to the fact he had several messages awaiting him, but he already knew it was the Council. Instead of answering it, he decided to formally take his leave from Dormé and Anakin first. He went to the place in which he sensed their Force signatures.

Ferus sensed they were still in the bedchamber and he wanted to talk to Anakin about that. Because if Anakin was still sleeping with Dormé while he was married to Padmé, Ferus wasn't sure he could allow that to happen, not if it was dishonouring both women.

Soon Dormé was exiting and she could tell that Ferus had had a rough night. 'Are you all right?' she asked.

'I'm fine—I just have to leave soon—I didn't bother listening to any of the messages, but I know it's from the Council,' he confessed.

'Are you able to have something to eat before you go?' Dormé asked. 'I was just about to start making breakfast...' She hoped he would at least eat before going because she didn't want him to leave on an empty stomach. He was her friend, after all, and wanted him to be in good health.

'I'm sure that would be all right,' Ferus replied with a small smile as he followed her to the kitchen on the ground floor. 'If you ever need anything—while I'm gone, just let me know and I'll come straight here or at least contact someone to help you out, all right?'

Dormé smiled back, nodding. 'Of course. Thank you, Ferus.'

Ferus knew his message hadn't gotten through, but hoped she would still contact him if she needed help. He wanted to ask about things he had no business in asking, but restrained, knowing it would not due to stir up painful things. He sensed Siac's growing Force signature and knew it would only be a matter of time before the Council sensed the baby as well and would want to take him away from Dormé to raise at the Jedi Temple. These thoughts were also disturbing, for he knew what he was willing to do if it came to that.

'You're not leaving yet are you?' Anakin asked Ferus in concern. 'I'm not returning till later anyways and neither should you! Especially now that you're a knight!' he said with a boyish grin. He could feel Ferus's emotions and knew there was much more on his friend's mind. Having missed the conversation between Dormé and Ferus the young padawan only knew that Ferus looked about ready to leave. He blissfully unaware of Ferus's concerns over his time spent in Dormé's bedchambers.

'I don't want to draw unnecessary attention to Naboo or to your w—to Dormé,' Ferus replied, trying to keep calm about the whole thing.

Nevertheless, Anakin did notice Ferus's exhaustion and he furrowed his brow. 'You all right? You look like you haven't slept at all!' he admitted in concern.

Ferus shrugged, not really wanting to go into full detail while Dormé was present. When she made herself scarce as she set about fixing breakfast for three, Ferus took Anakin aside to explain.

'I don't want there to be any questions...nor do I want to put Dormé or Siac at risk by staying. Everything is so precarious right now, especially with our relationship with the Order. Until there is a proper time and opportunity for the two of us to leave, it's all so unclear...'

Anakin's doubts faded with Ferus's words and he sighed feeling guilty for having questioned his friend's motives. 'I know you do—but he is my son and this is my problem,' he confessed softly.

'I feel as though we both need to make a good impression on them in hopes of being able to persuade them later, if need be, for Dormé to be able to keep Siac here with her, rather than the Order taking him to the temple. You know they'll want to.'

'They won't have a choice. If I'm as _iquichan_ important to them as they claim, they'll respect my wish to have Siac raised by his mother,' he said feeling his anger towards the Order grow once more.

'If they respected your importance then there wouldn't be a need for all of this and you could have stayed married to her in the first place,' Ferus countered.

His friend's defence of his beloved and their family was something Anakin would never forget. Ferus was right. The Jedi had no right to interfere, no right to defile what was sacred to Dormé and himself. But then again, was he any different marrying Padmé in the hopes of appealing to his mother's final wish? Suddenly he felt incredibly tired and worn.

'I won't let them touch our son. I may have made a lot of mistakes, Ferus, but this time I won't fail them.'

The servant who had fetched a blanket for him the night before overheard their conversation by accident. Her cheeks flushed as she made her presence known to them and apologised profusely.

'It's all right. I'm not trying to hide anything,' Ferus insisted. 'I just request that you keep this to yourself and not tell Dormé about it.'

'I understand, sir. I'm sorry.' She curtseyed to the two Jedi. 'Have a safe journey,' she said before slipping away into another room down the hallway.

The appearance of the servant girl had a calming effect on Ferus because it reminded him of the gardens and her silent, but supportive company. 'Thank you—' he said as she left. He ran a hand through his hair. 'I don't mean to push this. I'm sorry. It's really not my place. I know that. I also know that the two of you ought to have some time alone. As much as I want to goof off with you like old times,' he added, giving him a friendly shove.

'You know if you weren't so busy looking out for everyone else you might see that there are others who are looking out for you! For example like that young lady who wandered in a moment ago—can't tell me she didn't want to steal another glance at you!' he said with a grin as he gave his friend a shove back.

Ferus outstretched a hand to shake Anakin's. 'Give her my best. And you contact me if you need anything,' he said before taking his leave.

Anakin gave his friend a nod as his expression turned more serious. 'Take care, Ferus—and thank you.'

The sincerity and fierce devotion in Anakin's statement spoke just as deeply as the feelings Ferus sensed through the Force. He shook his friend, no, his brother's hand, and parted ways in lighter spirits, though equally focused on how he was going to get through what awaited him on Coruscant. There would be questions and he had difficulty lying. He just prayed that none of the questions would have to do with the whereabouts of Anakin Skywalker.

* * *

A/N:

_'Ani—surely you know that Dormé isn't here anymore—' Padmé began in concerned tones. _

_Anakin, still lost to the darkness, didn't comprehend that it was Padmé speaking to him as the dark side coursing through his veins ensured he saw only what he wanted to see._


	18. A Confusing Pain

Dormé fervently did her best to prepare for Siac's arrival and once everything was finished—or as finished as things could be—Dormé knew she owed messages to her Saché and set about telling her everything she could. She didn't mention Ferus or Anakin's visits, knowing how much Saché disapproved of Anakin.

It was a big relief that everything was ready for Siac, but Siac also needed someone to distract his ama from worrying too much so that he could finish growing well. Dormé found she had extra time between her job and was encouraged to take her maternity leave. With the time she had, she spent with Talé and the servant who had grown to fancy Ferus. Both of the young women were a good distraction and also good friends.

When she wasn't inviting the two of them over to Saché's home, she was shopping—though not making purchases—and visiting over at Talé's home. She still wasn't very keen on Talé's boyfriend. She did, however, respect her friend's decisions and kept her mouth shut about him.

Ferus, thankfully, didn't have to do much explaining about his absence or his trip. Having Knight status did quite a bit for his reputation. He was thankful for the fact that he didn't have to lie. He wouldn't have been able to. But as time moved on, he was also back on the frontlines, though not in the same way that Anakin was, nor was he even in the vicinity of his friend. He had promised Dormé that he would look out for Anakin but he ended up having to lead others on missions that were lightyears away. However, Ferus remained focused during the day, always doing his best to see the end of the conflicts and skirmishes so that he could more quickly be able to check up on his friend. The opportunity didn't occur as fast as he wanted it to and by the time he was able to leave, he found out that Anakin was already back on Coruscant. At the same time, he felt a huge ripple through the Force, originating from Naboo and he went with his gut instinct which told him that Dormé was in trouble, or rather that she was most likely giving birth.

Talé's mother was quick to come to Dormé's aid and provide assistance in taking her to the medical facility. All the while, Dormé was in tears, fearing for her life and wanting Anakin to be there. She kept her mouth shut, but as her pains increased and the doctor was telling her to start pushing, Dormé cried out for Anakin. There was no holding her back and if the Jedi Council themselves were there, she would have told them anything they wanted to know if they would just let her see Anakin.

Dormé had never experienced such pain and she thought she was dying. Even the encouragement from Talé's mother wasn't enough, nor did she think that it was incredibly revealing and dangerous to be asking for Anakin.

Siac's cries echoed in the room, but Dormé didn't know babies were supposed to cry when they were born. She thought something was wrong. 'Is he OK?' she asked, her whole body shaking from exertion as the med droid took Siac to have him washed and dried.

'He's just fine,' Talé's mother told her, brushing her hair away from her brow and dabbing her forehead with a cold cloth. 'You have a healthy baby boy who is testing out his lungs for the first time.' She smiled kindly at the teenager.

'Can I see him? Please, I want to see him—' Dormé pleaded.

Talé's mother informed Dormé about what they droids were doing and that it wouldn't be long before she would be able to hold him.

With tears filling her eyes, Dormé didn't even feel the pain as they handed Siac to her. 'Siac, my little one...' she murmured. His eyes weren't open yet as she kissed him all over his wrinkled face. It wasn't long before the exhaustion overcame her and she drifted off to sleep with Siac in her arms. She vowed that she would never let anyone take him away from her, though she didn't know just how difficult it would be to protect him.

It wasn't until a few days later that Ferus was able to make it to Naboo, due to travel constraints and the meeting he had to endure with the Jedi Council. He thought it would have been easier to report via holocom, but it seemed they wanted him there in person. He didn't know that there were council members that doubted his reliability, where they really ought to have been focusing on their Chosen One, in Ferus's opinion anyway. But Ferus also knew that Anakin didn't need the extra pressure from the Council, for Ferus could certainly sense the darkness surrounding Anakin's Force signature, even if he was in the senatorial district while Ferus was in the Jedi Temple. He wondered why the Council was so blind to it.

In spite of this, Ferus knew he needed to get to Naboo. He promised his friend that he would watch over his family and Ferus wasn't about to break promises. Even if Anakin was busy with other things, or rather his secret wife, Ferus knew that Anakin would have him check on Dormé even if the threat had already abated. It was for this reason and his belief in both of his friends that he departed for Naboo.

Dormé was back at Saché's home with her newborn son by the time Ferus came to visit. She was now recovered from childbirth and eager to show off her little one. Upon hearing that he had come to visit, she quickly went to greet him with a tight hug. 'Ferus! I'm so glad you could come!'

'How are you?' he asked, concerned, even though he could easily scan her mind and Force signature, he didn't want to do so without permission.

'Wonderful! You have to see Siac! He's so perfect!' Dormé said cheerfully, grabbing his arm and pulling him into Siac's room. 'He's sleeping—' she said but as soon as she said this, Siac, who had sensed the slightly familiar approaching Force signature, awakened.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake him—' Ferus said, a bit unsure of himself because he had never been around babies before.

'It's all right,' she said, stooping to pick Siac up out of his bed.

'He's so tiny,' Ferus said softly, marvelling at the tiny fingers and fingernails. It was miraculous. 'He's got blue eyes too,' he added, thinking it was just like Anakin's eyes, the same deep blue.

Dormé beamed cheerfully at Ferus as he examined Siac and then offered the baby to him.

Ferus wasn't so sure about holding a baby. He didn't want to drop him or do anything that might hurt him. Even though he was a confident, well-trained Jedi with the reflexes second only to his former Master, Ferus wasn't about to try anything with a newborn. 'A-are you sure?' he asked in uncertain tones.

Dormé nodded, grinning. 'Why don't you sit down first and then put this over your shoulder—' Dormé added, taking a cloth and handing it to Ferus.

Ferus did as he was told and positioned himself in the way he thought would be best. Dormé just giggled and sat down next to him, showing him how to properly hold a baby.

* * *

For many months, Anakin fought hard on the frontlines. He worked as hard as he could to prove himself to the Jedi Order and earn the title of knighthood. Even so, he was unable to stop himself from falling into old habits, namely using the dark side in his great longing to return home.

Instead of returning to Coruscant to be knighted, he was given yet another mission. Anakin was sent to confront the Separatists in the Outer Rims. Even his constant victories were no longer satisfying. This time, the battle incurred heavy losses on both sides of the conflict. He couldn't stop himself from falling into the darkness to ensure that his troops were protected and that the enemy was destroyed.

While this fatal tactic proved successful, by the time Anakin returned to Coruscant, he was still drunk the dark side's potent kiss. Many of his own troops had paid the price in his attempt to protect them. He was hardly in a state to tell who was friend or foe.

In this confused state, he wandered the halls of the senatorial district.

Padmé was hardly expecting the surprise visit from the Jedi Padawan, nor was she pleased by it. But her handmaidens had found him and were unable to dissuade him from his search for Dormé. Fearful for their lives—for Anakin had openly demonstrated his powers on a handmaiden named Moteé not that long ago—the young Jedi was found Padmé.

'Ani—surely you know that Dormé isn't here anymore—' Padmé began in concerned tones.

Lost to the darkness, Anakin couldn't comprehend that it was Padmé speaking to him. As the dark side coursed through his veins, he saw only what he wanted to see.

Clad in an elegant, tightly fitted blue gown that revealed her beauty, the former queen looked more elegant than usual. What Anakin didn't know was that she was returning from a unrecorded meeting with a group of Loyalists. But in his mind, it wasn't Padmé that he saw, rather it was Dormé and the sight of her in such a beautiful gown immediately set his body in motion.

Without a second thought, he approached and moved to kiss _Dormé_ with all the love and passion he bore for her.

Padmé uttered a curse and was about to slap him for his inappropriate behaviour—as since their wedding night they had agreed to remain apart—when Anakin dropped to the floor.

The pain seemed to come from nowhere, filling his stomach and moving lower until Anakin was certain some sort of invisible attack had been made on his loins. The pain pulsated, utterly overwhelming the young man which caused him to whimper before screaming out in pain.

The pain broke through the dark side's control over him and in shock and terror he struggled to get away from Padmé.

Padmé, completely stunned, stared at him in disbelief before calling for a meddroid. The pain continued to worsen, rendering Anakin helpless as he struggled to get to his feet. He had to get away, to get outside, to get away from whatever it was that Padmé had done to him.

Through gritted teeth, he cursed Padmé's name, calling her a witch and cursing her for whatever Force attack she was performing on him.

The former queen was completely confused, but not wanting to cause a scandal, tried to get the Jedi to remain at least until the medical droid could examine him.

Anakin escaped before she ever had a chance, but only got as far as his ship before the horrific pain that tore through his loins caused him to black out.

Surely, this was a curse from the Force for mistaking Padmé for his beloved!

It was hours later when Anakin regained his consciousness and was finally able to make his way to Naboo. The strange dreams and odd visions of Dormé were a distant memory. One thing remained clear in his mind: the blinding pain. Had it all been a dream? A warning from the Force? A lesson he had to learn, perhaps? Or something else entirely?

Arriving on Theed, Anakin was quick to sense Ferus's presence. It was hardly a surprise and yet he felt a rush of jealousy. It wasn't the only Force signature that he discovered and this time, the jealousy wasn't so easily ignored. Gone was the memory of the pain and the strange images he had seen. Their son was now amongst them and he hadn't been there to witness his arrival! Anakin wouldnt be surprised if Ferus had and this made his heart sink.

Approaching the door to her temporary home, Anakin rang the chime. In his unsettled state of mind, he wondered if perhaps he should return another time, as though he might be interrupting something that wasn't his to experience. But even he couldn't deny how foolish such thoughts were and so he waited for one of the servants to let him in. Ferus wasn't the only one who respected Dorme's privacy after all.

One of the young ladies who had taken quite a fancy to the Jedi, opened the door to find Anakin standing there. She thought Anakin was cute as well, and couldn't help giggling a little bit when she invited him in. She was a little jealous that Dormé had two Jedi calling on her, but also in awe of the pair of Jedi to say anything about the matter.

Anakin blushed to the young woman's laughter wondering if she knew what he had been through but soon buried the thought knowing she wouldn't have a clue of wht he had experienced. Unfortunately it also made him wonder if she could see or tell what he feared—that something had happened to him. 'I'm here to see Lady Dormé,' he said politely all the while trying to push the negative thoughts from his mind.

The servant eagerly showed him the way to the nursery, even though she knew that the Jedi already knew where the room was. It was just an excuse to spend more time with the preoccupied Jedi. She wondered if he was the father of the baby or if the other Jedi was.

Ferus was a little sidetracked with trying to hold Siac and marvelling over not only his tiny form, but also his powerful Force signature. He didn't know that Anakin had arrived until he arrived in Siac's bedroom. 'ANAKIN! It's SIAC! Can you believe it? LOOK!' Ferus said excitedly. He would have leapt up, but he was too afraid of hurting the little one who began to cry. 'Oh I'm sorry—'

'Ferus!' Dormé whispered imperatively. 'Be more quite, please!'

'Siac!' he announced in joy as he rushed forward feeling as excited as Ferus sounded. Their son was sheer perfection and Anakin couldn't help but be a little louder than usual in his eagerness. Dormé promptly reminded them that their son wouldn't be to happy with all the noise and Anakin quietly apologized.

Turning her attention to Anakin, she beamed as she went to greet him with a tight hug before leading him over to where Ferus held the baby. 'Our son,' she whispered.

He readily returned Dormé's embrace and couldn't help but kiss her cheek. 'He's so small! And so perfect!' Anakin whispered in awe as he withdrew from their embrace to join Ferus.

'He has your eyes,' she whispered to Anakin as she gazed eagerly at his profile, wanting to see what he thought of it all.

'Hello Siac,' Anakin said softly as he reached out to touch Siac's cheek with the back of his finger. 'Just look at him—he's so tiny, but so—perfect,' he murmured in awe. As much as he wanted to hold is son, a part of him was hesitant as he remembered the darkness used and things he had done during his absence. This child was so clean that Anakin was almost fearful that his touch would taint Siac as the dark side now tainted him.

Siac opened his eyes to stare at his daddy while making noises.

Anakin beamed once more as he looked to Dormé. 'Did you see that?' he whispered. 'I think he was talking to me!' Anakin announced in joy.

'Siac, Daddy's here—' she told him, taking him from Ferus so that Anakin could hold him.

When Dormé offered the little one to Anakin, he grew nervous much like his friend. 'Are you sure? What if I drop him?' he whispered in concern. The thought encouraged a new fearful thought as he was reminded of the strange attack Anakin had earlier. Swiftly he buried it; there was no way he would ask Dormé for her help, not with Ferus around. It was just too embarrassing and too humiliating. Anakin didn't want to explain why or how it happened either.

But eventually he sat down and was properly able to hold their son. Studying Siac closely Anakin murmured his contentment before gasping in surprise when Siac opened his eyes. Dormé was right they were as blue as his own. Chuckling Anakin made a silly face when Siac reached out to touch him.

'You got me Siac! You got your daddy!' he teased with a laugh as the little one touched his cheek. Grinning impishly he turned himself so Siac was facing Ferus. 'Now get your Uncle-Daddy,' he encouraged, ' get him like you got daddy!'

There were no words to describe what Dormé felt at that moment, watching on as Anakin met Siac for the first time. Though she had longed for Anakin to be there when she was giving birth, both out of fear for her own life as well as the baby, but also so that he could have been there to hold Siac for the first time. But all of that was in the past and now Anakin was here and she could fully appreciate the introduction in ways that she couldn't have on the day of Siac's birth.

Siac's wide, blue eyes just stared at Daddy, while he tried to communicate with him, not understanding the strange Force essences surrounding him. It baffled and amazed the little boy, who reached out for a more tangible connection. Then he was looking at the blurry form of Uncle-Daddy as he blew a bubble which dribbled down his tiny chin.

'Uncle?' Ferus asked, before laughing as Siac made his bubble. Looking between Dormé and Anakin, he blushed at the offer made to him. 'I'd love to be his uncle, if you'll let me.'

Anakin studied their son in awe feeling as though the universe consisted only of their baby and his beloved friend. Through the Force he could feel Siac's curiosity and awe. All of this was so new to him and it was awe inspiring to watch as their newborn reach out to them through the Force. With great care Anakin gently reached back allowing his tainted signature to embrace Siac's own bright aura with all the love he had for their son. Unshed tears came to his eyes as he smiled down at Siac. It seemed so real as though they truly were a family again.

Ferus couldn't help standing and watching Siac as well, even though he really felt he ought to give the pair some time alone. It was just such a marvel to see a baby; he had never been so close to one before. He had heard of them, but hadn't actually seen one so new, so full of the light side of the Force. It was almost overwhelming.

But in time, without saying a word, Ferus sneaked out to leave the new parents alone to marvel at the life they created together. Ferus couldn't help wondering what it would be like to create life with someone like they had. He wasn't jealous of Anakin in that he had been able to be intimate with Dormé in that way, but rather that he wondered if he would have that opportunity someday or if the Order would control his life forever.

Anakin was entirely distracted by their son and couldn't help but kiss his little hands and cheeks. It wasn't long after that Anakin discovered the Ferus was no longer there. Curious as to his friend's absence he looked ot Dormé with a raised brow before looking back at Siac. 'Siac, uncle-daddy's gone. Maybe he saw that pretty servant girl and is finally going to talk to her,' he said with an mischievous grin.

When Anakin looked to her, she also looked to the door of Siac's room, wondering where he went.

'Maybe you're right. I know there are a few that make eyes at the both of you everytime you're here to visit,' Dormé commented.

'More like they're oggling Ferus! No girl in the Jedi Temple can walk by him without turning into a helpless mass of jelly; it's almost too much!'

Soon, Anakin's expression fell as the memory of his pain returned to him along with the need to use the fresher. 'Dormé—I need to ask you a—' his cheeks burned a bright red as he bit his lip. 'I uh—um—hurt myself—I think I hurt myself pretty bad—I actually—' he fell silent as he looked to Siac. Suddenly he wondered if Siac would ever know what it was like to have siblings—the thought was promptly buried. Anakin didn't think he wanted to know the answer, it just hurt too much.

With great care he moved to gently place Siac in his cot before turning his attentions fully back to Dormé. 'Can you—I'm—scared to look,' Anakin admitted in embarrassed tones as he took her hand to guide her into the nearby fresher.

'Of course,' Dormé replied, now about as worried as Anakin was about his injuries. She wanted to know what happened and was quick to attend him in the fresher. 'What happened?'

'I was—I had used the dark side, I wasn't myself—I returned to the senators district and I thought you were there—but it wasn't you,' Anakin stopped once more realizing he made no sense, not even to himself. 'A sharp pain hit me—and it just grew worse until I couldn't even move and in the end, I passed out.'

It slowly dawned on her what he was referring to about his return to the senatorial district under the control of the dark side, believing she was there, but the rest of what that truly meant would have to wait until her fear for Anakin subsided. For the moment, she was preoccupied figuring out how he had been injured and what had happened, as well as the severity of the wounds. 'You couldn't move?'

'It's not the pain I'm worried about, but the damage—I kinda have to use the fresher, but I'm not sure if I can,' he muttered in humiliated tones.

'Can you—please check for me—tell me if—I'm okay,' he whispered as his fingers fumbled to remove his utility belt. Shyly, he undid his trousers and closing his eyes allowed Dormé to assess the situation.

She nodded to his request and helped remove his trousers and pants. Though the situation could have been interpreted entirely the wrong way, even an outsider would have seen how methodical Dormé was in the way she checked him. It was as though she were a medical doctor, rather than a former wife and lover. As his friend, she wanted to be sure that nothing was damaged or wrong with him and as far she could tell, whatever had hurt him did not leave any marks.

He didn't want to speak of what had occurred or what could have transpired if the attack hadn't happened. The thought of betraying Dormé terrified him even more than what he had done under the influence of the dark side. He blushed, feeling the familiar sense of shame coming over him upon feeling Dormé's concern. Anakin knew he didn't deserve her kindness, none of it. Thankfully, Dormé was merciful and swift to aid him as he struggled to explain his awkward situation. He waited with baited breath to hear of her assessment. Though she was no longer his wife in that moment he felt closer to her than he ever had with anyone in his life. It seemed that only in Dormé's presence could he truly be vulnerable and not fear.

Rising to her feet, she told him, 'I don't see any marks or visible damage. I think you're OK, but if you want, we can ask the doctor in the morning. Try going to the fresher and let me know if it hurts when you do that,' she suggested.

Anakin carefully opened his eyes. 'You're sure? I mean—everything is where it should be?' he whispered as though the walls had ears. The last thing he wanted was for Ferus to learn of his awkward predicament.

She nodded. 'Everything's where it should be,' she replied assuringly. Though she thought it would still be a good idea to be checked over by a professional for just in case, she knew he had a more pressing matter to deal with and slipped out of the fresher to give him some privacy.

With an eager and hopeful nod, Anakin waited till Dormé departed before closing the fresher door and doing what had to be done. Anyone who was within the vincinity couldn't ignore the sound of Anakin's moans and groans of relief; it was almost obscene. But it was clear that everything was back to normal.

Emerging from the fresher, now dressed in trousers but without a shirt, Anakin immediately sauntered to the couch and flopped out on it as he gave a huge sigh of relief.

Dormé couldn't help snickering a little upon hearing his expression of relief and she was still smiling about it when he came out.

After a moment of silence, Anakin sat up as he met Dormé's gaze his expression turning apologetic and grateful at the same time. 'Thank-you—for this—for everything,' he said softly as his cheeks burned hot.

She watched as he reclined on the couch and when he met her eyes, she just shook her head and approached him. 'No problem. I expect if I were in similar straits that I could count on you to help me out too,' she said honestly. 'After all, you are my best friend.' She smiled softly as she sat down next to him.

As Dormé took a seat by his side, Anakin shifted to give her a little more room and to steal the opportunity to enjoy her beauty without Dormé knowing. 'I'd be honoured,' he admitted softly. 'Although somehow I can't see you ever being in such a position—you're far too smart for that,' Anakin confessed in sheepish tones. 'Whatever it was—whatever had happened—I think it was a sign—I think it happened so I wouldn't do something I'd regret later,' Anakin admitted. He didn't really want to discuss the details but wasn't about to pretend like nothing had happened either.

'I used the Dark Side Dormé—I was so lost in it I saw you instead of Padmé—-if I hadn't if it hadn't been for that, whatever it was—I would have—' he shook his head as he bit his lip.

She knew he had said he had been under the influence of the dark side, but she wasn't sure what the occasion was or what happened as a result—or rather what would have happened. Now it became all the clearer and she said, 'Oh,' as her eyes fell to her lap momentarily before looking back at him once more.

'I wish I could have been here—for you and our son. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me most.'

She didn't know what she could say at first and instead slipped her arms around him. Although she didn't want him to feel worse about missing Siac's birth, he was also her best friend and she couldn't keep anything from him, even if she wanted to. 'I wanted you there too—I was so scared...scared for Siac, scared that something would happen to him or I would do something wrong, and that I might never get to see him—' She took a breath before exhaling slowly as she relaxed into him.

Dormé you would never do anything to hurt our son. You love him far too much for that,' he whispered softly as he gave her a squeeze. 'You're strong—stronger than I could ever dream of being—Siac is alive and well because of your love for him, never forget that,' he whispered in sincere tones.

'It's all right now though. And I'm so glad that you're all right too,' she added, pulling back to look at him again. She smiled again.

As Dormé drew back, he felt his cheeks warm to her smile. It was hard not to steal a kiss, but after all that had transpired Anakin knew he was unworthy of even this embrace.

'So now that you're feeling better, maybe we ought to find Ferus and see if he would like to join us for something to eat?' she suggested.

'That's a good idea—I'm sure Siac would love seeing his uncle-daddy again too!' he said with a playful smile.

Siac began to weep and Anakin immediately grew worried. 'Did I say something bad? My emotions weren't bad—' he stammered not understanding the tears just yet either.

'I don't think it's anything you said,' she assured before admitting, 'I was so afraid the first few times when I couldn't calm him down. I didn't know what to do. I was crying too.' She wished Anakin would have been there during those nights as well, if only for moral support.

'I know its not much—but if it happens again—well, thought speak my name—even if I'm not near, perhaps I can help—you know keep you company at the very least,' he said softly. It hardly much to offer but with his hands tied and his loyalties now elsewhere there was little he could do now.

Dormé was still getting used to his cries, not yet knowing the difference between needing a change, wanting food, tired, and lonely cries yet. She was still working on that. She went over to his crib and checked the nappy and then gave him a kiss on the head where his mass of blonde hair was growing at a fast rate. Deciding he needed to be fed, she took him into her arms and went back over to the couch once more, getting comfortable as she began to feed him.

'Oh he was just hungry,' he said in sheepish tones feeling silly now for having grown so fearful. 'Perhaps I should go and find Ferus while Siac has dinner,' he said in shy tones. While it warmed his heart to see Dormé with their son—so loving and caring, a perfect Ama—it reminded Anakin of all he was missing because of his mistakes.

Quietly, he thanked Dormé again before slipping off to find his friend, who Anakin hoped had climbed out of his shell long enough to speak to one of the servant girls who clearly fancied him.

Dormé couldn't help feeling her heart drop a little at the fact she was making him uncomfortable. She couldn't help consider the idea that if it had been Padmé, he would have had no problem staying, but she cursed herself for thinking such things. No, it was because he was concerned about Ferus. It had nothing to do with that.

After he left and she began to give in to her sorrow. She wanted her friend and partner back. She wished their plans had come to fruition: that he would become a Knight and could leave the Jedi Order behind, that they could be a family just as they always wanted. Most of all, she mourned the fact their son would not be able to know his father as well as Dormé wanted him to. Anakin had missed so much in a few days. What would it be like in a few weeks? A few months?

How was it that Siac was able to be so content, she wondered. She longed for a bit of that innocence that had been stolen from her not too long ago.

Dormé was still getting used to being a mother and felt a heavy load of responsibility that was entirely on her. She had to be the one to care for and protect this little life in her arms. Ferus and Anakin would try, but they weren't here all the time, Siac's birth case in point. They also weren't there when she was scared out of her mind because she didn't know what to do to make Siac better and stop crying. She had to do it on her own.

Realising just how alone she truly was, Dormé couldn't help crying. 'I'm going to do my best, Siac, I really will, but please—' She kissed the now sleeping baby as he released his grip on her. 'I love you so much, Siac.'

While Anakin sought out Ferus, he paused, feeling a sudden shift in Dormé's emotions. He didn't know what to make of it. He touched the Force and did his best to send her soothing thoughts. Shy, but determined, Anakin closed his eyes and imagined he was embracing her through the Force. He wasn't sure Dormé would understand what he was doing or even register it for that matter, but Ankain hoped it would help or at least represent a little of the apology she rightfully deserved.

Before Dormé's loneliness became overwhelming, she felt herself calming. It felt like Anakin was still in her arms, that he was embracing them, just as she held Siac, who was now asleep. He had nursed until he fell asleep and Dormé felt a sense of peace come over her as she kissed him and placed him in his little bed.

It was then that she heard Anakin's words as reflection in her mind.

_We'll get through this—we always do_.

It seemed his voice was stronger in her mind now, though she didn't register this as being significant in any way because he was closer in proximity than he usually was when they thought-spoke. It was full of hope too and this was a relief to Dormé.

She watched Siac sleep for a little while, marvelling anew at his little fingers, the tiny fingernails, his tiny mouth, now drooling. The calm exuding from Siac was something that even a non-Force sensitive couldn't ignore. It was something that Dormé fiercely wanted to protect. The very thought of something happening to Siac made her so full of an energy she had yet to put a name to.

Dormé just knew if anyone suggested something were to happen, she would not let it happen. It would not happen. Even if she didn't have the abilities her Jedi friends did, she do whatever it took to prevent anyone or anything from happening to her boy. It was with this renewed sense of determination and intense maternal instincts that she departed to find her friends.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ferus was accosted by a few of the servants who asked him all sorts of questions about being a Jedi, what sort of missions he went on, if he ever killed anybody. They were too eager, in his opinion, to hear about adventures and subterfuges that it was disturbing to him. As a Jedi, he didn't believe that was the important thing, adventures and missions were not fun or exciting. Usually they were very serious and sometimes ended in deaths. He didn't think it was nearly as fun as they made it out to be. He tried to blame it on their innocence and answered as truthfully as possible, but it only seemed to encourage them to press him further.

Thankfully, another young woman, the one he had spoken to briefly during his last visit, was able to save him from the girls. 'T-thank you,' he said, sputtering as he forgot what her name was. It was then that he realised he had never asked her. 'I'm sorry...what's your name?'

'Kylantha, but my friends call me Kyla,' she replied, blushing. 'I didn't realise that I never properly introduced myself. I apologise.'

'No, it's my fault for not being a proper gentleman, Kyla. I was too caught up in my own thoughts that night. I wasn't very good company, though I can't say that I didn't appreciate yours.'

'Thank you,' she replied self-consciously.

Ferus couldn't say how relieved he was to see Anakin, but it had to have been evident in his eyes. 'You're welcome,' he replied to Kyla as she departed.

Approaching the young knight, Anakin took note of the servant who clearly was smitten with him. A part of Anakin wanted to leave them be but Ferus look as awkward as Anakin felt in that moment. 'I was going to have the search party come and look for you but he was hungry so I thought I'd go on the hunt,' Anakin semi-teased as he gave Ferus a lopsided smile that didn't quite match his eyes.

Ferus let his eyes watch Kyla a little longer than he normally would before growing embarrassed by his friend's words. 'You have me there.'

'You look as awkward as I feel! You can't tell me that you're actually intimidated by the servant girls,' he teased before growing more serious.

'I wish I could be more like you—' Anakin began quietly as he studied Ferus with a wry, almost envious smile. 'You always know to do the right thing. When to draw the line, when to cross it. I think Dormé's life would be so much easier-our son's too if I knew where that line was and what to do with it.'

'More like me?' he tossed it right back at Anakin, but what he found there was not the humorous side of his friend who had been giving him a hard time. 'Lines...I don't know anything about lines. I'd have to say that you have a lot more experience in that sort of thing than I do.'

'I mean—right and wrong at what point does right become wrong, I'm not making much sense am I,' Anakin said with a wry smile. He tried not to take offense to Ferus's suggestion that he had more experience with crossing lines. He knew that that it was true, that Ferus was only stating fact, it was just embarrassing to know that there seemed to be so few who struggled with the lines the way he did. Even less who failed at them.

'But as for the right thing, I can only suggest—' He cut himself short when he sensed Dormé approaching. 'How's Siac?' he asked.

'Just fine. Asleep now. Although I think he missed saying good night to you, so you'll have to see him later,' she said with a smile as she took the pair of them by the arm. 'For now, I think dinner is in order.'

Soon Anakin was smiling and chuckling to Dormé's words as he gave Ferus a grin. 'You're uncle-daddy to him now Ferus so you better get used to it! Just wait till he gets older we'll have to take turns telling him stories and tucking him in!' Anakin surmised in hopeful tones.

Dormés arms slipped into his own and Anakin felt his heart calm and his doubts slip away. Here he felt safe and at peace. Somehow, he knew everything would be all right—one way or another.

* * *

A/N: Anakin deludes himself into thinking that soon everything will be back to normal and raises Dormé's hopes for their future together.


	19. A Pair of Drunk Jedi

The days passed into weeks and Anakin found himself once more caught on the frontlines. The war was slowly turning to their favor but the price paid was almost too high to really be worth it. The young knight found himself struggling more and more with the dark side as he did so. His behavior grew increasingly erratic, volatile even when he wasn't answering the siren call of the darkness. Throughout it all, Anakin did his best ot keep in touch with Dormé and often spoke of Siac. When he could, Anakin would deliver little gifts he had made for their son (toys and trinkets he made despite the fact Siac was too young to play with them). He also did his best to keep in touch through their force bond. It was difficult, especially with his use of the dark side, but in the end, the sound of Dormé's voice in his thoughts became something he virtually lived for.

Though the council didn't openly speak of their concerns, it was evident from the reports that reach their ears that something wasn't right. Though they were reluctant to perform the rites into knighthood on their 'chosen one,' no one could doubt Master Kenobi's wisdom. The warrior was not a man to make such a request without having proper evidence to support his claim that Anakin Skywalker was ready to fulfill his role as a knight. It was their hope that perhaps the new title would teach Anakin a thing or two about responsibility. It was also their hope that his violent tendencies would fade. It was a common belief that his zeal and over-enthusiasm stemmed from his desire to impress and prove himself both to his master and to the council.

Needless to say, Anakin was both surprised and thrilled to learn that he was to be promoted to knighthood. At the same time, a part of him feared that when they saw the darkness that lingered about his Force signature, they would withdraw on the passage of rites, but he kept this to himself. Instead, he sent a message, not to Padmé, but to Dormé, expressing his excitement and his nervousness on the matter.

He would be returning to Coruscant and within the next couple days. Though Anakin didn't speak of it, it was clear that he was looking forward to a break from the war and from the struggles he was experiencing. However, one thing he did speak often of was how much he missed her and their son.

_'I think some downtime is good,' Dormé replied. Her eyes spoke of more that she wished to say but was unable to. 'Siac's said daddy, though I was hoping to get it out of him now. Go on, say 'daddy' for me...' She kept trying, but eventually gave up. 'Well he has said it before with less coaxing...'_

_Siac was getting bored with the holo machine and wanted to look at and touch the shiny buttons which inevitably led to Siac cutting the holo-recording short. _

The message cut out short and without warning-it was about the time he heard her voice apologizing to him. But little did Dormé realise that in her attempt to fix the machine, she ended up turning it back on, revealing her now flushed, frustrated freckled features. Breathless he watched her taking in her beauty and the little habits she had but didn't know, the way she'd brush the strands of hair off her face only to have them fall back down again. The way her freckles danced when she furrowed her brow.

Eventually Dormé gave up but Anakin however didn't; in silent awe he watched as she focused her thoughts on him and spoke into his mind. It was almost too much.

Shyly, he assured her that it was alright before sheepishly confessing that the holo-recorder was still on—that he couldn't help but watch for a moment or two.

_It makes me feel as though you are near_, he confessed into her thoughts.

* * *

At the Jedi Temple, Anakin found the the atmosphere was incredibly serious. It seemed everyone was watching-judging-him and he couldn't explain why. Believing that everyone knew of his soon to be coronation, Anakin didn't pay it much heed. He had gotten better at hiding the darkness in his Force signature and was confident that no one knew. It was for this reason that Anakin went about his business as usual and was soon planning to depart for Naboo. If he heard correctly, the coronation wouldn't be for another two days which meant two days he could spend with his family.

Upon arriving back to Naboo, Anakin quickly made his way to his family's home. After spending much time fixing his hair and making himself look presentable Anakin found himself at Dormé's home. With a quick glance in the window to ensure his reflection looked good Anakin smiled and rang the chime. His arm was filled with knick knacks he had made for both Siac and Dormé.

She tackled Anakin, in spite of his arms being full, in a big hug.

Anakin found himself being pulled into the most inviting if not overpowering hug. Despite being sensitive to the Force, Anakin was caught entirely off guard and cried out in surprise upon being tackled. Gifts, knick knacks and holo recordings flew from his arms as Anakin staggered back almost tripping over them in the process.

'DORMÉ!' he gasped in shock before bursting out in laughter as she kissed his cheek and drew back. 'I'm not sure if you're happy to see me or if you're trying to kill me!' he exclaimed in amusement before hugging her back.

Grinning from ear to ear, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before helping him pick up a few things that had dropped due to her attack. 'Sorry about that—Siac's having a nap, but—'

He could hear Siac crying and felt his cheeks warm to it. 'Oh I think my shout woke him up,' he confessed sheepishly as he helped her place the packages on a nearby table.

'It's all right. I'm glad he's awake so he can see you!'

One of the servants went to see to Siac and to take him out of his bed while Dormé helped with the things Anakin brought with him.

The other household workers in the Maberrie residence were now quite certain that Anakin Skywalker was the father of Dormé's baby and were prone to gossiping about it.

'Dare I ask what all of these things are?' She was rambling in excitement at seeing Anakin again, eager to make sure that he was also tended to.

Her questions brought a new smile to his features as he gave her a boyish grin. 'They're gifts for you and for Siac,' he confessed sheepishly.

'Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?' Dormé asked quickly as she set some of the packages on a nearby table.

'Well if you're making something I wouldn't mind having some but only if I can help,' he added quickly before motioning to the knick knacks. 'But first you have to see what I got you both!'

She complied in opening all the packages, asking questions about some of them if she wasn't sure what they were for or what they did. 'These are wonderful! And I know Siac is sure to enjoy these when he's old enough too.'

'I've missed you-both of you so much!' he confessed in sheepish tones.

Dormé then fetched Anakin a tall glass of blue milk that she always had on hand, just like when they were married. 'You can start on that while I get a sandwich or something to tide you over until supper. You just stay there and put your feet up! No helping!'

'I've been sitting down for the past ten hours I'd much rather help!' he said with a boyish grin before adding with a wink '-even if its just to set the table and keep you company.'

One of the younger household servants was on her way to the kitchen to tell Lady Dormé that Siac needed to be changed, but one of the older ladies tended to the task herself, having changed many nappies in her lifetime. then the six-month-old was brought into the kitchen, eagerly reaching out for his daddy. 'ADAAA!' he cried cheerfully.

It wasn't long after that Siac came into the room and at the sight of their son Anakin beamed and was soon moving to greet him. 'Siac! Hello my little knight how are you?' he exclaimed as he took their son into his arms and kissed the boy's chubby cheeks.

'I hope you've been a good little man for your Ama!' he added as he tickled the baby's chin. Though he was reluctant to part ways with Siac Anakinc oudln't deny his growling stomach and had to marvel over how Dormé always seemed to know just what he needed.

Dormé finished making Anakin a sandwich and sat nearby, offering to take Siac while he ate. She wanted to ask him so many questions, but was also content to just watch him eat, having missed him more than words could say. It was nice to just have him home in her kitchen, even if it wasn't really her home or kitchen, but the place she was staying. It just mattered that he was there.

'I swear its like you can read my mind!' he teased before thanking her for the sandwiches and milk. It had to be the finest meal he had in a very long time. 'Force help me I miss being able to eat real food! Nevermind your cooking!' he groaned as he dug into his lunch.

'So how have you been? It seems like an eternity since we last saw each other in person I mean,' Anakin asked as he finished up his meal. It felt so good to be home but it also reminded Anakin of how long they had been apart. He desperately wanted to catch up and longed to hear about everything that happened in his absence.

Dormé told Anakin all about the little things and also about her concern in having to go back to work. 'The ladies said that he could stay in the building with us during the day, but that someone else would be watching him while I'm on duty. I just—I wish I didn't have to leave him at all. I've had him all to myself for so long; I don't know what it's going to be like to not have that anymore.'

As she spoke of having to return to her duties, Anakin grew a little concerned. He knew taking care of their son was a lot of work and the idea of Dormé having to work all day and care for their baby at the same time made him worry for her. 'Once I've been knighted, I'm going to leave the Order, Dormé, and then I'm going to divorce Padmé,' he said in hopeful tones. 'Then we can get back to living our lives together as we should and you won't have to worry being away from Siac because I'll have a job fixing ships and stuff like that!'

Anakin should have known better than to make such promises, but the padawan was still riding high from the news of his coronation. Soon he was sharing tales of his time on the frontlines. He didn't speak of the darker moments and instead just shared the more amusing experiences. The last thing he wanted was to worry her, nor did he wish to speak of such things while in this place that he now came to view as his sanctuary.

Dormé's heart began to beat wildly in her chest. Her eyes shown with hope, but she wasn't certain she could believe it. 'Anakin, are you sure? What about Padmé?' she asked tentatively. 'Are you so sure that she wouldn't want to stay with you?'

'Padmé won't care. She wants out of this farce even more than I do,' Anakin admitted with a boyish grin. 'Its just a matter of finding the perfect excuse and means of doing it.'

Siac was scrambling in her arms now, eager to be crawling about and playing with his toys. Dormé gave in and let the little one go on his adventure over to Daddy's boots.

Anakin. 'He certainly loves to explore doesn't he?' he said proudly recalling how he too was always curious back when he was still a youngling.

Dormé wanted so badly for this to be true, that they would be a family again, a real family. No one else would have to care for Siac. She wouldn't have to leave him alone. Dormé, for her part, couldn't help getting her hopes up. 'I think we could wait a little while longer before I have to start working again...and there are many jobs here for that type of work. And then we can save up again for a place of our own!'

'It wouldn't be hard for me to find work at the tracks or even work as a courier until things settle. I've been in touch with a few of the mechanics around here and they all admitted that they could use the help, especially with the war taking away their finest engineers!' Anakin confessed in hopeful tones before stuffing the last of his sandwich into his mouth.

Such plans were similar to the dreams they used to share and without thinking, she reached out and grabbed either side of his face to kiss him full on the lips. It felt like ages since she was last able to taste his lips! She didn't care if he had half a bit of sandwich still left in his mouth. She could only express her excitement and anticipation at their dreams finally coming true in this fashion.

His eyes snapped wide open as he felt his cheeks burn. How easy it would be to give in, but recalling Ferus's warning, Anakin immediately drew back.

Anakin's portable holo-comm chimed. It was the Jedi Council. With a boyish grin, he excused himself, but promised to quickly return. 'This is it they're going to tell me when I'm to be knighted!' he said in excited tones before slipping off to speak to his superiors.

All smiles, Dormé bent to pick up their laughing little boy and went to wash his hands. She asked him if he was hungry after his nap and if he wanted some snacks, knowing he had no idea what she was talking about yet. She grabbed a jar of baby food from the refridgeration unit and offered some to him on a spoon, but then he smacked the spoon out of her hand and began wailing. 'I'm sorry!' she said, not realising the source of his distress.

The news Anakin received was not expected. In fact, it was the one thing he didn't expect to hear. Stunned in disbelief and horror, Anakin listened as the members of the council politely informed him that his coronation would have to be put on hold. Despite the support he had received from his master it would seem he was not fit for knighthood. Between permitting Asajj to escape and the startling amounts of evidence showcasing his use of the Dark Side they felt it was best he remained under Obi-Wan's tutelage.

'We feel it is best you remained with your Master for a little while longer. You clearly are struggling with the dark side and we feel it would be most prudent to continue your training. It would not safe, nor wise to allow you on the frontlines in your current condition...'

Anakin tried to argue but it was a lost cause. The decision had been made and for now it would seem he would remain a padawan for a good while longer. Once the connection was disabled Anakin cursed and spat before throwing his commlink faraway into the gardens.

Despite Anakin's frustration with the Jedi Counci,l even he couldn't deny that not once had they withheld on their promises. In fact, even the trickery that surrounded the annulment of his marriage to Dormé couldn't be considered a lie. One of the first lessons he learned with them was that attachment was forbidden and if it should happen, they would do whatever was necessary to end it. Even in this, they kept their word. Because of this Anakin had no reason to doubt their intentions or the fact they had ordered him back to Coruscant so as to complete the rituals that would ensure his knighthood. It was the only truth that he never once questioned, even when his mentor the supreme chancellor warned him otherwise. Now in stunned disbelief and rage he listened as the council politely explained that there had been a change of plans.

'Damn it, you lied to me! If you weren't so certain that I was eligible to be knighted then why the _iquicha_ did you go to all the trouble? Why send me back? Why tell me that I'm to be knighted?' he snapped upon coming to his senses. There was no straightforward answer only the usual vague warnings that he had grown up his life hearing. Even more unbelievable was the fact they wanted Anakin to answer for his actions on the frontlines as though he were but a criminal on trial.

Livid, Anakin vented his rage before returning inside. Despite what he was certain Ferus would say, Anakin knew for once this wasn't his fault. How was he to know that they weren't serious? Or that Obi-Wan's attempts to speak on his behalf were to fall through?

Now came the difficult part having to tell Dormé that once more their dreams were to be put on hold, this time because of the arrogant fools who dared to call themselves his leaders. It was infuriating and for the first time he found himself seriously beginning to wonder what else they had been lying to him about.

Only upon hearing Siac's tears did Anakin remember his emotions and slipped them back into some semblance of control. Reaching out with the Force he tried to reassure their son that everything was alright. It was easier said than done but Anakin knew that Siac had done nothing to deserve this nightmare, Dormé too was entirely innocent.

Siac sensed his father's anger and it upset him thoroughly. He was entirely inconsolable and there was nothing Dormé could do to get him to settle down. Dormé looked up as soon as Anakin entered the kitchen. She could tell something bad had happened and went over to him. 'You have to leave?' she said, assuming that was what his expression was telling her.

'No, but I probably should,' he admitted in quiet tones. 'Seems the Council has lied not only to me, but to my master as well. I'm guessing the entire thing was nothing more than a ruse to get me back to Coruscant.'

'What do you mean?' Dormé asked, approaching and reaching for his arm. 'They lied? Why? I don't understand...'

'I'm going to find another way to get out of the Order—I'm going to talk to the Supreme Chancellor if anyone knows how to get to the bottom of this mess its him.'

The news was shocking and confusing for Dormé, not knowing what to make of it or what that would mean for their plans. But then he spoke of the Supreme Chancellor, whom Dormé tried to call to mind. She had only seen the Supreme Chancellor a few times in the brief time she spent in Amidala's service and even then it was not for very long. In the senate meetings, Dormé was usually trying to keep her mistress safe and keep herself from falling asleep rather than looking at the chancellor.

Now she wondered if he was the same man that she was picturing. 'What about your master? Did you say he was fooled too? Maybe he would know what to do?' She could more easily recall Master Kenobi's face. 'What about Ferus?'

Anakin frowned as he struggled to clear his thoughts, if only for their son's sake. Carefully he admitted to the truth all the while attempting to understand the council's reasons, which seemed to defy all reason. Like Dormé he was confused and caught entirely unawares. It infuriated him to think that they'd do something so underhanded—just like the supreme chancellor warned him that they would do.

It made Anakin rethink his mentor's words and for once he found himself considering Palpatine's wisdom over Obi-Wan's. He admitted this much to Dormé as well. His dear friend wondered about Obi-Wan's thoughts as well as Ferus's own. Anakin already knew what Obi-Wan would say, he always followed the rules no matter how absurd it was to anyone else. Ferus, well he knew Ferus would give him an earful telling him he should know better that it wasn't right to get Dormé's hopes up for nothing.

'Somehow I doubt that. He follows the rules far too closely to stand up to the council even if its clear their in the wrong,' Anakin said in weary tones. 'And Ferus—well he'd be as furious as I am,' Anakin admitted honestly.

Dormé wondered if this meant that their plans would have to wait longer because she didn't know how this would affect his ability to divorce Padmé. Perhaps that would be a way for him to leave the Order, if the Jedi knew he was breaking one of their Code things...

Dormé also knew how much it had meant to Anakin to prove himself and to become a Knight. He would want to leave honourably. 'What do you have to do for the Council to grant you knighthood? Did they give you another task to complete, one that they couldn't give you otherwise unless you were on Coruscant and there in person to receive it? Perhaps it is an even higher honour that you will attain,' she suggested, trying to look at things more optimistically.

Siac made a noise of what sounded like approval.

Her questions mirrored his own troubled thoughts. Anakin wondered much the same now. Was it not enough to break Asajj? How many victories had he won for the Republic? How many lives had he saved since the beginning of the war?

'They never mentioned another mission—only that I had to answer for a previous one that I had completed. Maybe your right, maybe this is just a stepping stone,' Anakin said as he tried to convince himself of Dormé's words. Somehow he doubted it.

Everything Dormé knew about the Jedi was incredibly frustrating. They had their marriage annulled and taken Anakin away from her so many times Dormé had lost count. Now they said they were going to make Anakin a Jedi Knight and then taken that away from him too. 'It's like they knew this was our plan all along and want to keep you under their control,' she murmured, not liking this idea one bit.

'I just don't understand why they'd go to all this trouble only to send me away. I guess I'll find out soon enough,' Anakin concluded quietly before turning his attentions back to their son who looked as though he were enjoying his parents presence.

'And just what are you smiling about little one? You think Daddy is a silly man do you?' he gently teased as he tickled Siac's chin. It was easier to forget anything had happened but try as he might Anakin couldn't shake the feeling that this was the beginning of something far darker than he'd care to imagine.

Siac giggled at Daddy's tickling him and reached out his arms toward him. He wanted to be in Daddy's arms again and Dormé relinquished Siac to Anakin, knowing this might be the last time he saw Siac in a long time, though she prayed it would be sooner.

'Is there anything I can do?' Dormé asked, wondering if she spoke to Ferus or his master if there might be other options, but had a feeling that there really weren't any options. She didn't know the complexities of the relationship between the Council and the Jedi and the Padawans, nor was she aware of Anakin's mentor, Palpatine's, influence over all of the events. 'i wish I could be of more help.'

Dormé knew he needed to leave soon, as much as Siac and she both wanted Anakin to stay. 'Can I at least get something for you for the road?'

She hugged him tightly, with Siac between them. 'I'm glad you got to see him,' she murmured, struggling against her tears. 'I'm glad he could see you in person—' Now holding Siac again in her arms, she looked at Anakin, feeling as though the whole universe was going to change and not knowing why.

'I'm going to miss you Siac—you too Dormé,' he whispered as he gave them a tight squeeze before kissing Dormé's brow.

She closed her eyes when he kissed her brow. 'Siac sleeps with your old cloak every night...the cloak you gave me when we first met,' she whispered, giving him a squeeze before prying Siac away. 'I want him to be as close to you as he can be, even when you're away.'

She had every faith in Anakin that everything would eventually work out and that their dreams of being a true family once more would come into fruition. She had no idea as what cost this would come to pass.

'I promise I will be back as soon as I can. I will speak to Palpatine and he will give me advice I know he will and soon this will all be over.'

* * *

In spite of the Chancellor's compassion and understanding, it was clear that he had little influence on the outcome of his knighthood. Even so, Anakin was grateful for what help the elder man could offer. It ensured that the padawan was sent out on more fierce missions, ones that could prove his courage and ability to perform as a Jedi should.

After months of constant fighting on the frontlines, Anakin finally received word that he had passed the rites of passage that would grant him knighthood. He was entirely skeptical and spoke not a word of it until he found himself returning to Coruscant for the actual ceremony. Even then Anakin remained guarded about the entire matter and instead sought out Ferus as he hadn't seen him in some time.

Despite himself, Anakin was still a little nervous though a greater part of him was doubtful that this was real. He was pleased to hear that the young knight too had been called back though for reasons Anakin was not aware of as much of the meetings now were concsidered classified unless one was directly involved in the mission in question.

Now he sought Ferus out in the hopes of finding wisdom and to speak of truths he knew he couldn't share with anyone else, not even Dormé. Not out of distrust, rather because it pertained to things she wouldn't understand.

* * *

Ferus was on direct orders from the Council to return to Coruscant and find a Padawan. Ferus didn't like the idea for many reasons, mainly that, deep down, he didn't feel that he belonged in the Jedi Order. He had so many doubts with himself and with the direction the Council was going in, especially with its recent bestowing of honour to their Chosen One only to revoke it last minute. He had heard about it over the holonews and though he knew the media would sensationalise the story, he didn't doubt the truth of the main issue. He knew Anakin would have been furious enough that it wouldn't remain a secret for long.

The younglings old enough to be trained by a Master were already off Coruscant and seeing battle first hand. Ferus hated the idea of bringing someone younger than ten to see war first hand. He didn't think it was the best way for them to learn and it was incredibly frustrating trying to convince the Council of this.

'They ought to remain here to study and train in peace. They're too young to see the horrors of war...nevermind the difficulty in keeping them out of harm's way and training them and overseeing a battalion. You ask too much, Masters,' Ferus told the Council.

'Young they are, but not so young in the Force,' the grand master relayed via holoprojection. 'For you to say it is not, how much you can handle. The Force, guides us it does, too much it cannot give you.'

Ferus frowned and bowed his head. 'Yes, Master.'

There were no words to describe how belittled he felt nor how frustrated with the situation. He didn't know what he could possibly do about this new mandate or how to get out of it. He was the last person in the galaxy that needed or deserved a Padawan. Storming down a hallway in the temple, he was so deep into his own thoughts that he nearly collided with Anakin.

'Anakin!'

'_Echuta-we_! And you say I'm the one who walks into walls!' Anakin exclaimed as he narrowly avoided his friend's approach.

'What are you doing here? I didn't think you would be back so soon—'

'Where else would I be?' Anakin replied in flat tones to Ferus's question. He sighed deeply as he glanced away it was a struggle to maintain his calm but he knew it was necessary as he was always watched when he was at the temple.

'It's good to see you.' Ferus clasped Anakin's arm briefly in greeting before mentioning that he had been with the council for a good part of the afternoon and was only recently released. 'Although I can't say that it's not a break to be away from the battlefield.'

'It's good to see you too—though I had hoped it would have been under better circumstances,' he admitted as he met his friend's gaze.

'If you have some time to spare—I could use a little advice right now—preferably somewhere far away from here,' Anakin asked carefully. He didn't want to stir up any more trouble for himself and tried to appear as nonplussed as possible.

Ferus frowned at Anakin's assessment. He wished, so much, so often that it would be over. 'Yeah, sure,' he said, nodding grimly.

'Went that well did it?' he said as his expression grew compassionate. He knew all too well how the council worked and hardly envied Ferus for having to deal with them.

'I could use a drink myself, if you're up for it.'

'You read my mind,' Anakin said with with a sigh at Ferus's invitation. 'If its all the same to you, I have no intention of making it back tonight,' he added with a tired smile. 'Or if I do I better not remember it.'

It was nice to be in the company of his old friend and Ferus eagerly suggested one of the local bars that wasn't overly populated, but where they could also speak in semi-privacy. The pub he chose had one main bar room and small meeting rooms on either side, which mainly held older men doing business deals, or young couples finding a secret place to kiss.

'We should be good in here,' Ferus said, gesturing to the room for Anakin. 'You want to grab us some drinks and I'll save the room?' he suggested. 'Something strong, and an Alderaanian ale.'

After downing his first drinking and taking a sip of the ale, Ferus sighed and kicked his feet up on the chair across from him. Running a hand through his greying hair, Ferus asked, 'So what's on your mind?' even though he had a good idea about what Anakin wanted to speak about.

Anakin finished a tall glass of apsinthos in a single swallow and poured himself another before turning his attentions back to Ferus. 'In a word? Everything,' he said with a sigh. 'Tomorrow supposedly my big day but honestly I'm still waiting for catch. The last time I thought I was in I stupidly told Dormé everything and broke her heart a second time. Now I don't know what to believe in anymore.'

At the mention of Dormé, Ferus's expression turned sorrowful. He could just imagine what this had done to her. 'You didn't know they would do that to you. You thought it was all going to work out; don't blame yourself for what you said to Dormé. Force knows, I would have done the same if I were in your position,' he said, trying to at least make Anakin feel a little better.

'I should have known better. After what I've done to her—what they've done to us! I should have at least kept quiet, until I had underwent the rituals,' he confessed. 'I was just so excited I had everything set in order I was going to divorce Padmé, resign from the Order—it was all set and then-' he shook his head as he took a long drink from his glass. 'She doesn't deserve that and neither does our son. That's why I haven't said anything to her about tomorrow-I'm scared if I do they're refuse me again and then I'll have to turn her away once more.'

Ferus nodded grimly to Anakin's statement. It was hardly the first time the Jedi Order had given Anakin a hard time, nor was it the first time that Dormé suffered because of it. Thinking about Siac worried Ferus as well. If the Order found out, they'd probably want him to go to battle before reaching his first birthday, being son of Skywalker of course. He didn't bring up this possibility, but mentioned his own dealings with the Council as of late. He asked the server droid for more Alderaanian ale.

'What about you? What was your big meeting with the Council about or do I really want to know?' Anakin asked. There was so much he wanted to talk about but he could tell that there was a lot on Ferus's mind as well and wanted to help in what way he could, even if it was only to offer moral support.

Feus ran his hand through his hair again, sighing loudly. 'They want to give me a Padawan. It's the last thing I want right now. It's not the responsibility, but the fact they want me to take some younglings out to the battlefront, one that hasn't even been trained in basic defence tactics... It's a bad idea on so many levels, I can't even begin to express my frustration with the Council right now.

'A youngling? They want you to take a child to the war zone?' he gasped. This was certainly shocking news and Anakin was hardly impressed to hear it.

'I know we're running out of Jedi as more and more of them fall in battle, but bringing children out in the middle of danger is ludicrous! We're supposed to be protecting them, not sending them to early graves!'

'Why would they want you to do that? What do they think goes on at the frontlines? Parties and games? _Echuta_-_we_! And they say the Sith are evil?' Anakin growled feeling infuriated that they'd suggest such a thing. He also felt incredibly proud that his friend stood up to them. 'I'm guessing they wouldn't listen to reason,' Anakin said flatly before offering to pour Ferus a glass of apsinthos.

'Of course they wouldn't even listen to me! I tried to talk them out of it, but they had already made up their minds before I stepped into the room. I looked at the younglings, I looked at all of them, but they're way too young to be out there. I thought it might be an all right idea until I saw how young they are,' Ferus groused as Anakin poured him some of the green liquid.

'Let me guess they figured it would be the perfect way for them to learn their lessons first hand. Frankly I'd rather not teach them lessons that involve us getting killed protecting them or worst them taking a shot for us!' Anakin said as he sighed heavily. 'I bet even the Sith don't send their apprentices out to war as children either,' he said with as snort before finishing his glass. Pouring Ferus another he couldn't help but laugh to his friends reaction upon trying it.

Ferus took a sip and nearly spat it out. 'What the _echuta_ is that? It's disgusting! How can you drink that?' He coughed before giving it another shot.

'Don't knock it! Its great stuff! Packs a punch too!' he said with a lopsided grin as Ferus coughed.

'It just stinks like bantha _poodoo_,' Ferus said.

'Oh what are you doing? Ferus you can't wash it down with ale! It's vintage stuff not that engine oil you drink!' he exclaimed as he shook his head.

Ferus continued, 'I don't know what they expect and when I try meditating, it's like I can't see anything these days. It was easier on Naboo than here.' He also wanted to go back to Naboo, if only to find peace more easily than in the middle of war...or of warring political agendas on Coruscant.

'Do they think their innocence is going to break the shroud of darkness everyone keeps talking about? Honestly I think it's going to encourage it-and encourage others to fall. It's one thing to see a comrade die, another entirely to watch a child,' he admitted. A shiver ran down his spine as he thought of the tuskans he slaughtered on Tatooine and the bodies of the innocents who felt his lightsaber during the course of the war. It was far too close to home for Anakin who promptly took the bottle and finished it off in a swallow, before grabbing the new one and taking a few good swigs of it.

Thinking about the deaths of innocents, especially children made Ferus feel more depressed than before. It wasn't hard to remember Darra's death. _Stay with me until I fall asleep... It's lonely in here... _'I don't want them to know what that's like...' Ferus finished off his drink and set the empty glass on the table. 'It's a good reason to get hammered tonight; that's all I've got to say. Maybe they'll change their mind and give someone else a Padawan—'

'Knowing my luck they'll come through on their word-coronate me and then pass me your padawan!' Anakin said as he rolled his eyes before grinning impishly. 'That is if they can catch me first!'

'You can have him,' he said, waving his hand. 'Force knows they'd have more fun running about the galaxy with you and you're better with the Force too—keep 'em safer,' he slurred slightly.

Finally the alcohol settled in and Anakin smiled sloppily at Ferus 'Oh I'm sure they will 'til I traumatize them,' he said as he shook his head. 'Apparently my flying is enough to make anyone die of fright or so I'm told.—I'm not better with the Force and you know it Ferus. I'm a _iquichan_ mess we both know it!' he said as he rose to his feet. The walls were closing in and he need room to breathe. Unfortunately his feet weren't entirely steady anymore and it took him a moment ot get his bearings.

'That's not true, you have Dormé, and you have Siac. I can't say those a _iquichan_ messes,' he insisted sincerely.

'You'd keep them far safer old friend-I'd only get them killed and we both know it,' he said sadly before offering Ferus a hand to help him up. 'Let's go—I hate this place I want to go home,' he said before grabbing the now half empty bottle of apsinthos with his free hand.'Screw Coruscant with its games, politics and its _echuta_-dumps they call clubs lets go to Naboo!'

Ferus was incredibly fond of Anakin's idea. 'I'm flying,' he said. Anything was better than Coruscant and the scum found here in these clubs. But by the time they were back on the streets, Ferus found they had a problem. 'Where's my ship?' He didn't remember how they got to the bar in the first place and thought someone had moved his ship.

'So where is your ship anyway? Or did we walk here?' he asked wondering if they flew or took the transport-or if it was his ship they used. 'Did I fly here? or was it the transport?' he asked before catching sight of a couple attempting to make their way back to their own ships. 'Here I'll ask if they've seen our ships!' Anakin announced thinking this was his best idea yet.

'Oh _echuta_—' Ferus dropped his own glass of ale, which he forgot to leave in the bar.

'Transport! Good idea but how will that get us to Naboo?' he asked before Ferus dropped his drink causing Anakin to jump. '_Iquicha-we_ what was that?' he blurted out before seeing the broken drink. Somehow it was amusing, but not nearly as amusing as the bartenders who wanted their credits for the drinks. Anakin waved to the bartenders while laughing he didn't understand why they were so upset after all he did pay fr the first bottle didn't he?

'Hey, come back here—you have to pay for that!' one of the bar attendants roared.

'Let's go!' Ferus said.

Thankfully, the couple Anakin spoke to were just as drunk, or so it appeared to Ferus. 'THANK YOU!' Ferus shouted at them even though they were close enough to hear him just fine. 'So, transport's this way—follow me!' Ferus led the way to the tranports that took them back to the Temple.

It was very hard for Ferus to remain quiet as they walked through the hallways to the lift that would take them to the docking bay. 'I don't even know why I'm here sometimes—it's because I promised Dormé I wouldn't let you out of my sight, not that the Council really knows or can tell—and then you're usually off planet anyway, so it's not really like I'm helping you out all that much—'

'She wanted you to stay with me? So you're stuck here because of me too? I'm so—so—sorry!' he said sadly, as he pulled Ferus into a tight hug. 'I don't know where I would be without friends like your or Dormé,' he said before shrinking back in shock.

'What is that smell—'

Anakin began to smash the buttons. 'I don't care where we go as long as its not here in this smelly—_echuta_—hole!' Anakin announced a little too loudly with his back facing Master Windu. Too distracted in his inebriated state Anakin gave Ferus a confused look.

The stench of the food processor and laundry mixed together was horrendous, especially to the overly sensitized, drunk Ferus. 'Quick—' he said, falling into the lift and pressing the buttons, hitting the wrong ones in his haste. 'We're never going to—Master Windu—'

'Master Windu? Why would we want to go see him? He's grouchy and boring!' Anakin said till the elder master spoke out causing his eyes to grow wide like saucers.

Mace was surprised and rather displeased to see the two Jedi in their current state, but had enough already on his mind to bother addressing them. 'Skywalker, Olin,' he said before leaving for his own ship, not bothering to ask what the pair had been up to, for it was quite clear already.

'Oh _poodoo_!' he whispered before whirling around and bursting into giggles. 'Sorry Master—' he stammered out as he almost tripped over his own boots. Once alone he began to mimic Master Windu to Ferus between laughter.

Ferus burst out laughing as soon as the Jedi Master was out of sight. 'Did you see the look on his face?'

'I thought he was going to melt, he looked to disgusted! Must have been the smell!'

Ferus was the first one in the starship and powered it up, programming it to head to Naboo, stupidly not realising how obvious it was that they were going to Naboo, and to where Dormé lived. Nor did he consider the possibilities and how it would be unsafe for Siac if anyone should catch wind or follow them. Thankfully all the other Jedi were off on missions or asleep.

'Home...Blast, I've missed Naboo. It feels like ages since I've been back,' Ferus mused. 'Missed Dormé too...and my little nephew...'

Soon Anakin was tumbling into the starship after Ferus. His friend activated the ship while Anakin prepared a message for his beloved. He didn't remember that the hour was much later on Naboo.

'Hi Dormé! It's Anakin here and—Ferus too! We're coming over right now! Ferus says apsinthos tastes awful but we know better right? oh you should have seen Master Windu!—' Anakin started to laugh at the memory.

'Nevermind you have to be there to understand! But we're coming right away!' Anakin explained befor catching his friend's remarks.

'Oh yeah Ferus says he misses Naboo and he misses you, Siac too—but not as much as I do!' Anakin said with what he believed was a charming grin.

'Oh hey I just rhymed! Wait Ferus-you give Dormé a message now!' he said as he gave the holo-comm to his friend before stretching out his legs and sliding down the seat to get comfortable.

'Wha? Wa—' Ferus spun around to face Anakin who thrust the comm in his face. 'Hiya Dormé—Long-time no see, yeah? We're coming, so we'll be there soon—' he slurred a little bit.

Thankfully, the trip wasn't terribly long and Ferus ended up singing a tune he learnt in one of the pubs, a drinking song of sorts, and one with an upbeat tune. He reminisced the days when they would spar in the Temple, trying to best each other at their games.

'And now on Naboo, Anakin and Ferus too, Lots of things to do on Naboo,' Ferus sang off-key. 'No more Jedi _poodoo_...'

'And sooon we'll see pretty Dormé whose freckles make us crazy!' he howled along entirely off tune before glancing to his friend and grinning.

'And we have to have a Dormé song too, you know!' Ferus said, clasping a hand on his friend's shoulder out of friendship, but also in attempts to steady himself. 'Oh her freckles...' Ferus sighed.

'I'm so going to kiss her freckles off and then...' In his distraction, Anakin lost sight of where he was going and in the process ploughed right into a tree causing the branches to violently scratch his right eye and chin.

'Wait—don't kiss them off!' he objected, taking it incredibly seriously as if they would disappear.

'Oww_! Echuta-we_ stupid damned tree!' Anakin cursed as he fell back onto the grass. Despite the wound Anakin was soon distracted by the mental image of how silly he must have look and was soon laughing out loud. 'Maybe we can tell Dormé that I was in some big important battle—-no tht I was fighting Dooku's assassin!' he said as he staggered back onto his feet.

His suggestion about the battle added to Ferus's amusement. The moment they stepped inside her home, Ferus using the Force to open the door, Ferus exclaimed, 'DORMÉ! Anakin had this outrageous fight with a tree and the tree took what it could give and he's got a red mark on his face!'

'Yeah and the tree won! But not without a fight! I broke some of its branches!' he announced loudly as he grinned.

Dormé raced down the stairs to see the two Jedi looking a bit worse for wear, but rather happy. 'What in the blazes? You started drinking without me; that's not fair,' she said jokingly before giving them both a hug, starting with Ferus and lingering in Anakin's arms, even though she knew she oughtn't. It was hard not to because she had missed him the most.

'Hey its not my fault—Ferus here invited me to get drunk and who was I to turn down a friend?' he said with a slight slur before find himself in Dormé's arms.

'Dormé—we made up some songs for you. You should hear them—' Ferus said before starting of.

Breathing in deeply he gave her a squeeze and kissed her hair before sighing softly. 'I could stay here forever,' he murmured before Ferus spoke out causing him to remember where he was and who he was with.

Dormé leant in to him as he kissed her hair. His whisper sent a warmth thrilling through her and she wished so badly that it would be so. She went to give Ferus a hug in order to prevent another awkward encounter with Anakin. She still felt bad about having kissed him while he was still married to someone else.

'Oh yeah we made some songs about your freckles!' Anakin said before joining in with Ferus who had begun to sing.

'Dormés freckles are so bootiful! I want to kiss them all!' he sang in drunken tones, all the while grinning like a fool.

She listened to the pair attempting to serenade her, trying very hard not to laugh, but when Ferus put an arm around again and started swaying offbeat to their harmony, she couldn't help herself.

'No, don't laugh! It's all true, very true, you're gorgeous. You're absolutely gorgeous Dormé, even after you were pregnant—I mean you were before then too and when you were pregnant—you're always just gorgeous—the most beautiful woman I've ever seen—' He stumbled over to her and made her his new support, leaning on her drunkenly. '—in the entire galaxy, the whole universe, in all the universes!'

'He's right Dormé! You're soo beautiful and your freckles drive me wild!' Anakin stammered out proudly before frowning as Ferus leaned on her while protesting his affections.

Dormé's eyes went wide at the sudden weight on her. 'Thank you, Ferus... How about I get you something to eat—' she suggested since it was already very likely they were going to be hurting, in more ways than one, in the morning. She wasn't getting very far, but eventually got to the living room where she tried to dump Ferus off on the couch.

'Hey Ferus she's my girl! You already got a bazzilion girls who want to date you! She's mine!' Anakin announced as he poked out his tongue. Thankfully Dormé stepped in suggesting she get them something to eat instead. Anakin immediately was distracted by the thought of food and soon he was stumbling after her.

'Don't go—' Ferus said, looking apologetically at her.

'I'm just going to the kitchen...'

'Wait let me help! I'm good at making sandwiches!' he suggested in hopeful tones. 'But i can't really cook,' he added as though Dormé didn't already know that.

'Ferus come help us make sandwiches!' he crowed as his annoyance with his friend hanging all over his beloved was entirely forgotten.

Dormé rolled her eyes with a smile dancing across her features as Anakin said he was going to help her. 'Very well!' She made certain that any and all sharp objects were out of his reach as she set about making the Jedi pair something to eat. She also made sure that it didn't include blue milk, or anything else that might upset their stomachs.

Once sat on the couch, Ferus thought Dormé was going away as though it would be forever and moped until Anakin suggested they follow her. Ferus's head swam as he stumbled after them before tripping and falling on his face.

'Ferus!' Dormé left the half-done sandwich and went to try to help him up.

'Why you in the living room?' he asked clearly forgetting that Dormé led him there in the first place. 'The actions in the kitchen!'

Ferus grabbed onto her in an attempt to pull her down with him. 'View's good from here—should see it—' he mumbled.

'You're an _isthab_,' she replied, giggling as she tried to wrench herself free of him so that she could finish what she had started in the kitchen.

Food was definitely a good idea especially given that he hadn't eaten at all that day due to the conflict of emotions and doubts brought on by the news of his possible coronation. Nevertheless he didn't last too long in the kitchen before he remembered his friend in the living room. Without his good friend Ferus helping it wasn't the same and soon Anakin was dragging his moping friend off the couch.

'Come on Dormé's making us food! It's rude—just to sit there!' he teased with a lopsided grin. Unfortunately Ferus's feet didn't quite cooperate and soon the young man was tumbling to the floor causing Anakin to almost fall himself. Soon the jedi padawan was peeling in laughter as he tried to help Ferus up only to land on his bottom as well.

'Dammit Ferus you're heavier than you look!' he said laughing even harder as Ferus tried to get Dormé to join him.

'Ferus you want to eat or not?' Anakin said as he tried to stand though with much effort. He swayed slightly and was about to try and help his friend again when he heard the soft snores. Snickering he shook his head before giving Dormé a dopey grin.

'This is why having Force powers is so wizard!' he slurred as he attempted to use said powers to get Ferus onto the couch. Though he was successful it wasn't without its bumps, though luckily the young knight wasn't near any tables or anythign else that could seriously wound him. Proud wth his success Anakin stumbled off to get a blanket and pillow for his sleeping friend and sloppily tucked Ferus in.

'And he says I never do anything nice!' he said proudly before following Dormé back to the kitchen. Once he had eaten his food and downed some water the young man seemed a little more clear headed.

It seemed Ferus was content to take a nap on the floor of the living room, though Dormé didn't think it would make for a very comfortable bed. Once she saw that Anakin had had something to eat, with plenty of water to wash it down, she wondered, 'What prompted your little outing with Ferus?'

'The Jedi Order—annoy us,' he admitted honestly. 'We don't know what to believe about them anymore. First they try to tell me I'm going ot be knighted and then turn me down-nevermind let the public know, but now they're telling Ferus that he had to take a youngling—A YOUNGLING! to the frontlines as his padawan!' he vented in frustration.

'A youngling?' Dormé was also reasonably outraged by this. 'That's ludicrous! The poor child could be killed in battle before having any sort of training from Ferus!'

'That's just it and Ferus tried to tell them that and of course they won't listen! They just give him some garbage about him not knowing the future or some echuta like that!' he snapped before remembering Ferus and Siac were asleep and speaking in quieter tones. 'Supposedly I'm to be knight tomorrow but honestly I'm not putting my hopes into it anymore,' he confessed softly.

Their conversation continued and despite his state Anakin spoke of everything and anything until finally his body succumbed to the vast amounts of alcohol consumed. Pulling Dormé into a floppy embrace he gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

'You rest with me?' he asked in hopeful tones. 'I'll be good—I promise I just—rather not rest alone,' he confessed in shy tones.

When she led him to the nearest room, which wasn't too far from Siac's, Dormé returned his hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek as well. His invitation, she nodded. 'OK.'

Dormé helped him with his boots, for he seemed to have lost what coordination he had left and tucked him in before joining him. 'Goodnight, Anakin,' she said softly.

* * *

A/N: Coming up- Ferus vs. The Jedi Council...

_'Olin, are you—have you been drinking?'_

**Apologies for the repost. I forgot the first part of the chapter!**_  
_


	20. A New Padawan

In the morning, Ferus awoke clutching his head as the pain gripped him. He got up from the couch and stumbled forward only to feel the nausea in his stomach. But the taste in his mouth made him feel like he was really going to be sick. He had no idea where he was or where the closest fresher was and found the kitchen sink instead.

'Force help me, I'm never hanging out with Anakin ever again!' he swore to himself.

Some of the kitchen staff came upon him and thought he was incredibly ill. They tried to give him all sorts of advice and remedies, but he had to admit he was hung over, which was humiliating for the Jedi.

Anakin awoke to the sensation that his head was being repeatedly beaten with a mallet. Had it not been for the water he had drunk the night before, Anakin wouldn't have been able to get up, nevermind drag himself to the fresher. Groaning he disentangled himself from Dormé's comforting embrace as the sound of Ferus being ill reminded Anakin that he wasn't doing so well himself. Stumbling off to the fresher, he succumbed to his own aftermath of drinking before shakily washing up.

Upon returning to the kitchen he found Ferus awkwardly having to confess to his night out.

The servants were understanding as they could only imagine how hard it was to be on the frontlines and see what the knight's saw. Coudl they really blame the young man for wanting to forget about the atrocities for a little while?

One the elder servants approached and offered him some painkillers as she gave his shoulder a squeeze. 'This should help a little dear,' she said kindly before noticing Anakin who didn't look too well himself.

'Oh there you are Ferus—Force help me I feel like death warmed over right now,' he confessed.

'Not so _iquichan_ loud,' Ferus muttered, waving a hand in Anakin's direction. He appreciated the painkillers and thanked them for their help, in spite of his embarrassment.

'Next time you suggest we get wasted I'm going to kick your _chutu_!' he murmured before noticing the mess in teh sink and quickly turning back to the fresher. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they had little time left before they'd have to return to the temple and he cursed himself for not being in a better state.

However, Anakin's assertion that it had in fact been his fault for their overzealous drinking binge set him off. 'There is NO WAY you're blaming me—you with your hard liquor—'

'Great goddess Ferus I'm not deaf!' he snorted as he clutched his head and murmured a curse.

'I was just find with my Alderaanian beer until you just HAD to make me drink that poodoo-smelling vintage stuff!'

'Apsinthos is not poodoo! That Alderaanian swish is disgusting like sewer water,' he retorted before poking out his tongue. 'And it was your idea might I remind you,' he added before Dormé intervined bring an sheepish smile to her words. How he missed the banter they once shared.

'No blaming each other,' Dormé said as though she were talking to two children instead of young men in their early twenties. Siac and she went to get some icepacks for both gentleman. 'This will help.'

'But if we don't blame each other who then do we blame?' he said with a weak smile. The sight of Siac made his eyes light up despite his pounding head. Soon he was playing with Siac as Dormé grabbed them some icepacks. Though it helped it was their son that truly lightened Anakin's mood. If the council didn't lie this time it wouldn't be long before he would be back with his family once more.

'Ada!' Siac said, wanting to half eat, half play with his food. 'AADDDAAA!'

'Quiet, Siac,' Dormé whispered in return as she made sure he got more in his mouth and less on the floor.

Once Ferus's stomach settled, he collapsed in a chair and tried touching the Force to heal his dehydrated body. Being in the same room as Anakin and Dormé seemed to help this and he slowly started to come around enough to at least be able to fly back to Coruscant. 'They're going to have our heads you know—' he said pessimistically. He had a feeling he might have to have another shot of something before facing the Council, extremely loathed to even return. It was only because of his vow to Dormé that he would go, to watch over Anakin.

'Well if luck plays in our favour it won't matter after today,' he admitted quietly.

'Whether you're hungry or not, you should at least have a little something. This will be light on your stomachs; I promise,' she said, giving a plate to Ferus and then to Anakin, who was playing with Siac. The sight of the pair of them was incredibly heart-warming. She couldn't wait until the day that they could spend more time with each other.

'Agreed, and let's hope they've changed their minds about my future Padawan,' Ferus added. 'Thanks for putting up with us,' he said to Dormé.

'You're welcome any time,' Dormé replied sincerely, giving Ferus a hug.

When it came time to leave Anakin couldn't help but linger as he kissed their son goodbye before pulling Dormé into a tight embrace.

'If it is real I will return the first chance I have. If not—well I hope it won't come to that,' he said quietly referring t the councils decision. Kissing Dormé's cheek he moved to depart with his friend feeling torn between joy and dread. Either way Anakin knew that today his life would change forever, the question remained would it be for good or ill.

Dormé returned Anakin's hug tightly and also gave him a kiss on the cheek as well. 'Me too,' she whispered, wanting to say more, but her eyes said her love and well wishes for him instead.

'Don't let Anakin fly,' Dormé called after them as they left, 'or you'll lose whatever you had for breakfast!'

'No worries,' Ferus called back. 'I've got it under control!' He feigned a swat at Anakin's head, teasing him.

As soon as they landed on Coruscant, Ferus fished out the left over wine that they hadn't finished the night before and washed down some of the QuickSnacks Dormé forced into their pockets. He knew there would be talk no matter how well they presented themselves and believed that as soon as Anakin was knighted today they would be celebrating their freedom together.

Anakin was practically whisked away to the council chambers where he was to under go his coronation. As much as he wanted to speak to Obi-Wan to inform him of his plans, Anakin wasn't given the time. He was running behind and they didn't have the patience to wait around for him. Anakin only had enough time to wash up and change. Unaware of Ferus's actions, Anakin made his way to the council chambers.

He was still a wreck but the painkillers he had taken and the food Dormé gave him ensured that Anakin didn't completely collapse or was ill before the members of the Council. The coronation was completed after what felt like an eternity for Anakin who was certain his head would explode at any minute.

But almost as soon as the ceremonies were completed, Anakin was being ushered out of the great hall.

'Wait there's more—I need to speak to you masters about something—' he began.

But the elders politely informed him that he was required on the frontlines and that he was to leave immediately.

Stunned, Anakin stared at them in disbelief before being guided out back into the hall where he saw a rather rough looking Ferus being summoned in.

In full confidence that today would be the day, Ferus stumbled through the halls of the temple, ready to decline the Padawan and leave the knighthood with a big _iquicha-we_ to the lot of them, saving Master Kenobi and Master Arxia, of course.

'Ferus—get out while you can!' he said quietly as he grabbed his friends shoulder.

Ferus didn't want to be there and he was quite put off when Anakin grabbed him by the shoulders. If he hadn't been so out of it, he would have recognised the concern and the odd way that Anakin behaved. Instead, he chuckled darkly and stumbled into the grand chamber.

Anakin didn't have time to say anything else as his thoughts suddenly grew clouded leaving him to be led like a docile beast to the hanger bay.

By the time Anakin was able to collect his senses, he was in midair and on his way to the Outer Rim. What he didn't know was that Palpatine's influence had played a part in his sudden daze.

When Ferus was called in to speak with the Jedi Council, he was not in a good mood. His head ached and he had been drinking more.

'Olin, are you—have you been drinking?'

'So what,' he replied. 'Anakin's a Knight now too, isn't he?' He didn't have time for games. He wanted to tell them what he thought of the Order and that he had no use for it anymore now that Anakin was a Knight. They were free now—or so he thoughts—'

'Regardless of Skywalker's knighthood, we have decided not to give you a Padawan.'

'Good. I didn't want one anyway!' he replied.

'Consider this a warning, Olin,' said Mace. 'You should be a role model for other Jedi and your current behaviour shows that you are not worthy of training a youngling. You will be working with Master Kenobi on his current mission—'

Ferus was baffled to find out that Anakin, while now a Jedi Knight, was off to the Outer Rim Territory and that Ferus was not assigned under Kenobi to assist his mission. This was not at all what Ferus had in mind and now felt awful for getting drunk with Anakin. Now reality set in and reality was hardly kind.

'You will escort Ahsoka Tanno to her new Master. You are in charge of watching out for her until she is given to her new Master.'

'Yes, Master,' Ferus replied, bowing respectfully.

Ferus went to properly clean up and make himself more presentable. He couldn't think of the freedom Anakin and he were losing out on. But he would, he vowed, talk to Anakin soon. He needed to know why Anakin decided not to withdraw from the Order. It didn't make any sense.

Ferus thought that the youngling was to be Master Kenobi's new Padawan and had no idea that instead of Ferus or Master Kenobi, this Padawan was going to be Anakin's.

Ahsoka was only too aware of who she was to be training under. At one time she would have been thrilled to call herself Anakin's padawan, now she all felt was concern and nervous hope. The other children used to be excited and would often compete with one another with the hope that one day their chosen one would want them to train under him. But Master Skywalker wasn't the same man they once knew. There was a darkness that riddled his aura that seemed to grow with each passing visit. Now most worked hard with the hope that they wouldn't be assigned to him.

The young man who was now seated beside her on the transport was in truth the Master she had secretly hoped to serve under. But he looked incredibly unwell and from what she heard he too had lost faith in the Order. But unlike Master Skywalker his aura remained pure and clean. He wasn't ill in that sense, just under the weather in a physical sense. 'Master, is there anything I can do to help?' she asked politely. 'Master Arxia says I'm good at healing small wounds—perhaps I can help you with your illness too?' She offered unaware that Ferus wasn't ill at all, only hungover.

'I'm fine, Ahsoka,' Ferus replied, not wanting to admit that he was hungover still. 'You seem about as excited about this as I do.'

Ahsoka furrowed her brow but didn't press the matter further when Ferus dodged the matter. 'I guess I'm not sure what to expect,' she confessed sheepishly.

Ferus looked at the youngling and his furrowed brow relaxed. He sensed that she felt nervous and excited, similar to how he felt about going on his first mission. It felt like another lifetime when he was excited about becoming a Jedi and being just like the kind of knight Master Kenobi was. 'When you get there, you'll know what to do. Trust your instincts,' he replied kindly.

Ahsoka smiled shyly up to the young Jedi Knight. Despite herself she wondered why Master Olin was asked to accompany her-if he would be joining her on her first mission. The young togruta had heard many wonderful things about the young knight and had been one of the many contenders who had hoped to become his Padawan. But it wasn't meant to be and so she was just as happy to have been able to receive this chance to speak to him face to face.

Ferus's advice was put to heart and she nodded firmly in reply. 'I will Master Olin, thank you,' she answered as her expression turned hopeful. But it was hard to ignore the fact he was clearly under the weather. She tried to be helpful in what small way she could.

Furrowing her brow she gave him a confused look as Ferus informed her that he was the reason she now found herself here. It didn't make sense to the eleven year old but she trusted him and the Order she served. 'Master Plo Koon once told me that war is never pretty and should never be taken lightly,' she agreed quietly. She wondered what he had said to the Council but knew better than to inquire. But his words troubled her nonetheless and the young togruta frowned.

Her suggestion made him feel bad for not treating her very well and he ran a hand through his hair. 'I think your assignment would have been different if it wasn't for me,' he admitted. 'I'm sorry that you have to go to battle at all. The Council wouldn't listen to me though. My state of health hasn't anything to do with you, young one. I'm not a good enough Jedi to have a Padwan, not at all the Jedi I wanted to be when I was your age. Master Kenobi will do a much better job.'

'Why not? Everyone says you're the next Master Kenobi!' she exclaimed before adding as her cheeks warmed. 'Everyone in my clan was in competition to be your padawan.' Ahsoka fell silent then not wanting to admit that she had hoped to have become his padawan.

Though Ferus blushed and was honoured by the youngling's opinion of him, he knew it was a lot to live up to. He now almost wished he had the opportunity to prove himself a worthy Master. He offered her a smile and gave her some advice. Had it been so long since he was still a Padawan? 'I just wish that—well, I have a problem with attachments,' Ferus told the youngling. 'Master Kenobi is much better at that than I am. I think if I had a Padawan, I would become too attached to him or her as well. That's one of the reasons, I'm sure, that the Council thought it would be best if you and the other younglings have another Jedi Knight for your Master.'

Ahsoka furrowed her brow to the young knights words her expression turning thoughtful and confused at the same time. Her cheeks warmed as she shook her head to his statement. 'I have the same problem too—I imagine everyone does. I'm learning to let go though, but sometimes I don't understand what's wrong with caring about others? I try to be good because Master Plo-Koon's opinion of me means everything, just as my wish to make my master proud. But does that count as an attachment too?

'I guess I will understand in time,' she said softly with a sheepish smile. Ahsoka wished she had Ferus's wisdom if only to know herself the way he seemed to know himself.

When they arrived, Ferus ordered Ahsoka to stay close to him. He really didn't feel like bothering with a youngling, but also felt that it was his duty to protect her until the battle settled down enough to hand over the Padwan.

It was like going through the motions for Ferus and he struck down droid after droid until the Separatists were forced to retreat so they would have forces to fight with for another day.

Instincts soon took over and she was swinging her lightsaber against the droids that attacked them. Her heart raced and pounded so hard she was certain that it would explode. It ownly when the battled drew to an end was she able to breathe again.

After the battle Ferus was grateful to the Force that the youngling wasn't hurt in all of this. He didn't think he could handle having the death of a youngling on his hands. However, he had assumed Ahsoka was to be master Kenobi's Padawan, not Skywalkers.

'Long time, no see, Skywalker,' Ferus said jokingly. They had much to discuss, but he really didn't want to do so in front of the youngling.

Anakin readily greeted his friend though it was clear that Ferus was in as rough shape as he was if not worse. 'I'd ask you why you're here, but honestly I have no idea why I'm here either,' he said with a bitter smile before his eyes fell to the small form behind Ferus. His expression turned apologetic as he met Ferus's gaze once more.

'Sorry—this is Ashoka Tanno—' he began to introduce her.

'Master Skywalker it is an honour,' she began politely.

Anakin politely nodded in greeting as he furrowed his brow. Ferus wasn't kidding when he spoke of the Council ordering children to the frontlines. This one couldn't have been older than ten!

Ahsoka turned her attentions back to Ferus to whom she once more politely bowed as she had been trained. 'Thank you, Master Olin, for joining me, but I think I'll be fine now. I hope you're feeling better soon.'

Anakin raised a brow in curiosity. 'Oh you think you can just rush out to the frontlines without your master little one?' It reminded him of how he was as a youngling. Suddenly Anakin felt a wave of pity for Obi-Wan and an even greater one for his friend Ferus.

'Of course not! That's why I'm staying with you!' she announced with a smile causing Anakin's eyes to widen in horror and shock.

'What?'

'Did Master Yoda not inform you? I'm your new padawan!' she explained in all seriousness. Anakin stared to Ferus in desperation as though half expecting his friend to announce that this was just some awful joke.

Ferus didn't know what to say. He gaped at Ahsoka and then looked to Anakin. 'I thought— What about Master Kenobi? Isn't he training you? I thought he was getting a new Padawan now that Anakin's been knighted—'

Ahsoka raised a brow as Ferus spoke of Master Kenobi. 'I received strict instructions from Grand Master Yoda to report to Master Skywalker for duty. I was to be assigned to another Jedi Knight, but at the last minute they changed their minds and requested I report to Master Skywalker instead He is my master now—did you not receive his message?' she asked Anakin who utter another soft curse as he frowned. Ahsoka hadn't been expecting a warm welcome, but she was surprised at how open Master Skywalker was about his disdain over having a padawan. It made her feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. However she didn't back down.

'I don't need a padawan! I'm here to fight not babysit!' Anakin snapped in frustration. Ahsoka scowled in reply as she looked up at Anakin in frustration.

'Look Skyguy I'm only following orders! I didn't ask to be here no more than you did!' she snapped back. Anakin balked to the young girls attitude and was about to vent when Ferus stepped in and spoke to Ahsoka.

Ferus decided, 'Ahsoka, would you mind waiting here and having something to eat or drink while your new Master and I have a chat?' He didn't want to speak of his concerns and his confusion in the presence of a youngling. She clearly shouldn't be there, not with them. There must have been a mistake.

The young girl nodded and grew serious to Master Olin's request. 'Of course master,' she said in politely her expression turning sheepish.

Anakin scowled as he folded his arms. 'Loud-mouthed little brat!' he murmured as he followed Ferus to somewhere more private to talk. 'Oh this is just wonderful! As if my entirely life isn't one enormous disaster they have to dump some loudmouth little snippet on me!' he snorted in disgust.

The little one certainly had a mouth on her and Ferus chuckled. He then suggested the two of them have a chat alone. She really was a sweet girl, even though she had a lot of growing up to do. But Ferus couldn't really say that Anakin and he were really all that grown up either.

Once they were alone, Ferus faced his friend, asking, 'What in the blazes happened? I didn't expect to run into you on the other side of the galaxy on another mission for the Jedi? Are you going back on your promises now or what?' He didn't understand it but felt defensive of Dormé and Siac. Anakin said once he was knighted, he would leave and Ferus was incredibly ready, more than ready, years ready to depart. What had changed?

Ferus however had a lot on his mind as well and when he faced Anakin the Jedi Knight felt a new chill down his spine. How could he possibly tell Ferus what he had been experiencing? Would his friend believe him? Or write it off as another pathetic excuse and broken promise?

'You're asking me as if I know what the blazes is going on?' he said as he began to pace his expression turning troubled, almost fearful. 'I don't know what to tell you! One moment, I'm trying to speak to the Council about my resignation the next I'm—I'm in space out by the Outer Rim,' he confessed in embarrassed tones. 'It's not the first time this has happened either—every time I try to leave I find myself waking up back here or where ever our encampment is at the time.'

'As for the youngling, They just told me where to take her, and I knew we were meeting up with you—but I had no idea she was intended to be your Padawan. I would have figured she would be Master Kenobi's since you were knighted and everything...'

'Obi-Wan seemed to think so too. He mentioned about her to me a few days ago,' Anakin admitted as he glanced back to Ahsoka who seemed to be chatting with Captain Rex.

'Do you think we should ask the Council? Or maybe it would be best if we just tell them we're both leaving...but then what would we do with the youngling?' This certainly was a mess, just another mess of Skywalker and Olin. What were they going to do?

'That's just it—I don't know if I can return anymore—every time I try I end up here. I wonder if this is another one of their tricks to keep their stupid prophecy in check,' he groused in agitation.

'Then what is it?' Ferus asked, now getting quite concerned. 'What are you talking about, Anakin? You're not making any sense! There has to be some logical explanation and you're not being clear with me—

Anakin frowned as he glanced away his expression troubled and confused. 'I don't know Ferus, that's just it i don't understand it myself! there is no logical explanation! If there was one you'd think I'd know it by now?' Anakin pressed on in desperate tones.

Wait, you mean this is because of—because of the dark side? That's what this is about!'

'I don't know if it's the Dark Side—I've blacked out before when I've—when I've used it. But this is different it only happens whenever I try to leave,' he confessed before wincing as his head began to throb. Anakin struggled to clear his thoughts while touching the light side to ease his pain. Only when it faded was he able to speak once more.

Ferus fell silent for a moment, running a hand nervously through his hair. This little Padawan did not need an unstable Master, nor did the two of them need to stay here in the midst of a war. 'This is not good for you...you need to leave the battlefield, Anakin. I foresee only violence and pain—'

'I've tried. That's just it I've tried and every time I've done it I wake up back here. But if I remain here—we both know what will come,' he admitted softly.

Ferus frowned at Anakin's surmising. 'You think the Council is capable of that sort of manipulation? That doesn't seem close to the Jedi way at all.' If he thought he had started losing faith in the Order, he was solidifying this now.

Anakin couldn't say what was causing it but at this point he no longer doubted the Jedi's influence or involvement. With a heavy sigh Anakin gave a small nod. 'After what they've done to me—to us—even Ahsoka—is it really any surprise?' he asked as he met Ferus's gaze. 'They seem more concerned with winning the war that they don't care how they do it.' Anakin concluded in tired, sad tones.

Ferus remained calm as he tried to assess the situation and help his friend. He wished he knew what to do and even suggested, 'Why not ask Master Kenobi about it whenever you get the chance. Make extra effort to get him alone and talk to him. He would know better than me about sorting this out. I know you don't want to talk to him about it, but I don't know what else I can do, aside from offer advice.

'I know he believes strongly in the will of the Force and that the Jedi Council follows this as well, but perhaps if you talk to him, tell him everything about what's been going on, perhaps he could find the source of this madness and help you put an end to it.' Ferus shrugged. It was all he could really do for his friend aside from be there for him and his family.

Anakin tried to find comfort in his friend's words. But the idea of speaking to Obi-Wan was hardly encouraging as he knew his brother and mentor was a man who always followed the rules. His faith in the Order was unwavering or so Anakin believed and this too did little to ease is concerns. 'The council does trust Obi-Wan, if anyone would have any answers it would be him,' Anakin admitted with hesitancy. 'But if I were you, I'd definitely turn back and get out. I don't seem to have that choice anymore—but you do so leave while you can Ferus!'

The sorrow he found in Anakin's gaze made Ferus feel incredibly worried, more than he had been in a very long time. It felt as though something big was coming, something catastrophic, that no one accounted for and that no one was prepared for. Ferus clutched Anakin's arm and gave him a firm nod with a small smile. 'I'm not leaving without you,' Ferus replied bluntly. 'I can't and I won't. I'm not leaving you behind, old friend.'

Ferus's determination and wish to help him was something Anakin never would have expected. It both humbled and troubled him knowing how far his friend would go to protect and guard both his family and him. Holding Ferus's gaze Anakin furrowed his brow as he gave his friend a small sad smile of gratitude. 'You don't know what you're getting into Ferus, but I do and I have to say it is an honour to be able to call you a friend.'

* * *

Unbenownst to two Jedi, the Sith Lord known as Dark Sidious was listening to the two men speak through the Force and was hardly pleased by the interference brought on by Ferus's presence. He had to find a way to do away with the annoying Jedi and soon.

With this in mind, Palpatine made contact with the Separtatists as his alter ego Sidious. Their job would be to find a way to kidnap the Supreme Chancellor. If anyone would be sent to his rescue it would be one of their finest and most noble jedi knight?

Within a day the supreme chancellor went missing. Though the Council wasn't pleased with this turn of events the only Jedi who was considered reliable enough and close to where the chancellor was said to be kidnapped was Jedi Olin. An urgent message was sent for Ferus. Time was not on their side and the Jedi believed that the Separatists were looking to use the supreme chancellor as a bargaining too.

Before Ferus had a chance to contact the Council to ask about Ahsoka's placement, the Council was contacting him. He bowed to them. 'Yes, Masters?' he asked.

'Jedi Olin, your presence is requested immediately—' Mace began.

The orders were clear. Ferus would have to leave his good friend behind and go on some wild bantha chase for the captured chancellor. '_Iquichan_ great, just great...' Ferus muttered,raking a hand through his greying hair.

Master Windu sounded more fierce than usual and that alone was not a good sign. However to Ferus's paranoia Anakin felt a new rush of horror fill his thoughts.

'Are you saying they might be—Oh _iquicha-we_! Do you know what this means?' Anakin began as his thoughts filled with panic. Was the Supreme Chancellor in on it? Could he be trusted? Did his master and mentor know? What of his family?

'Do they know?' Ferus demanded, spinning around to face Anakin once more. 'I swear, they MUST know. How else—why else would they have ordered me to deal with this instead of any other Jedi? Why aren't they doing it themselves since they're already on Coruscant? Why wouldn't they have protected the chancellor and foreseen this attack—'

Ferus's own paranoia grew at the thought. 'Anakin, what if they let the chancellor get abducted just so they could have a reason to separate us—They must know something is going on—that we want to leave and that they're not giving us the chance—'

'We have to warn Dormé—if they find out about my family—Ferus, you have to warn them! You can leave Ferus you can tell them—if I try they'll track me if they haven't already!' Anakin said in panicked tones.

Ferus silently parted ways with his friend and dipped his head to Ahsoka before departing, alone, for Coruscant. He would do what he could to help the chancellor, which included facing General Grievous alone. However, he didn't expect to be confronted with Count Dooku. While trying to dodge the count's dark Force lightning attacks, he freed the supreme chancellor. When Ferus took a bad hit in the upper arm, he missed Palpatine's counter-attack on Dooku.

At Dooku's loud protest, Ferus sprung back up again and was ready to engage in battle once more. The battle was arduous, but Ferus's mind and spirit were clear. He defended himself well and in the end, he defeated the count and returned him to the Force.

He heard the supreme chancellor trying to encourage him to use the dark side, but Ferus blocked it out, solely focused on the light side, so that no external prompting could effect his ability to destroy the darkness.

In the end, he returned to Coruscant with the supreme chancellor as a hero, though he was unable to bring down Grievous, who escaped. In spite of the accolades, Ferus had no desire to spend any extra time on Coruscant and was soon leaving for Naboo. Unfortunately for him, he was being followed by one of the emperor's bounty hunters, who saw Ferus speak to Dormé and Siac, believing that the boy was Ferus's son. The bounty hunter spoke to another Jedi about this and upon his return to Coruscant, he was asked to leave the Order.

It was a bitter irony, but gave Ferus the freedom to go wherever, whenever he pleased. Instead of going back to Naboo to warn Dormé, he went to the frontlines, endeavouring to speak to Anakin about what had happened.

* * *

Elsewhere Ahsoka received a message of her own and now sought out Master Olin and her new master. She was under strict orders to locate Master Skywalker as he wasn't answering his portable holo-comm. Ahsoka would later learn that Anakin had a habit of screening his messages if it pertained to the Order. For now she was just anxious to embark on her first mission—this one involving the rescue of a newborn huttlet.

'Skyguy! Hey Skyguy! We have to go! Grand Master Yoda says we have a new mission!' she called out as she approached them. It was a less than subtle attempt to give them time to end their conversation or at least warn them of her presence. She didn't want to eavesdrop after all and had yet to develop a proper master/padawan bond with hte young newly appointed knight.

Anakin however was still caught off guard having long since forgotten Ahsoka was near. Frowning he gave his friend a silent, but concerned look. It would seem their conversation was about to be put on hold for an indetermined period of time.

Their mission was a complicated one, one that left Anakin furious and insulted by the nerve of the jedi order. They clearly knew of his past and the fact he was once a slave of the hutts before Watto won them in a bet. Nevertheless as much as he wanted to kill the huttlet Anakin refrained. Not because he bore any kindness for the youngling, rather because he knew Dormé wouldn't approve. Innocent life was not to be touched and so to honour her and their son the young knight contained his hatred.

In the day's to follow Anakin stopped attempting to find his way home. It was clear that something was amiss and with a youngling now under his care he felt responsible to ensure her safety as well. THe nightmares continued and so did the growing need to use the darkness. Though Ahsoka never spoke of it to him, it was clear she was aware of it and was hardly encouraged by it. The only thing that kept him going was Dormé's words and her messages. Anakin remained unaware of hte fact his own messages were being withheld from Dormé and as such he continued to send them though they grew increasingly sparse as his missions took him further into war torn regions.

It wasn't long after when the young knight received word that Ferus had been relieved of his duties. Confused and not a little envious Anakin tried to learn the cause of it. However no one knew anything about it or if they did they were under orders not to speak of it. Needless to say Anakin had his doubts and began to fear the worse of his friend's safety, nevermind his family.

Ahsoka on the other hand was concerned for her master's sanity. Despite the fact she never met Dormé, the young woman coudln't help but send the mother a simple message expressing her concern. Like Anakin, she was unaware of the fact that Dormé's messages too had been withheld and believed the young woman was perhaps angry with her master—it would certainly explain his darkness and the fact he was constantly worried about her.

* * *

Coming up: _'The battle's over—but not the war.'_


	21. An Attack

Today, Anakin was worse than usual and was entirely lost to the darkness when Ahsoka learned that Master Olin was now on the frontlines, seeking her master. Quickly, she slipped away from battle to where she sensed the Jedi Knight. As much as she didn't always get along with her master, Ahsoka didn't want Master Olin to see Anakin when he was in such a state.

'Master Olin—it is an honour to see you—but I'm sorry—my master—' her expression grew troubled as she glanced away. 'He's not himself,' she whispered finally as she looked over her shoulder. The sound of laser fire could be heard along with the requiems of the souls who now fell to his lightsaber—most were not Separatists.

'Not himself?' Ferus inquired, but he didn't need the question to be answered. The darkness swarming around them answered it well enough. It wasn't the first time, but it would not be the last, not until the Jedi let Anakin leave, let him return home, but even Ferus knew this would not be allowed, not for a long time.

Ahsoka furrowed her brow knowing explanation wasn't necessary. The youngling frowned and was about to argue when Ferus took off to stop his friend. She moved to follow him but was soon distracted by approaching troops who were returning from nearby frontlines.

'Stay here,' Ferus said to the youngling before dashing off, following Anakin's shadowed Force signature. There were so many bodies, bodies of Separatists, the remains of droids, and also troopers...all of them killed by a lightsaber.

_'I've been trying to talk to him every day, at least twice a day,'_ he remembered Dormé confessing to him, _'but he never responds...nor does he seem to get any of my messages.'_ He remembered warning Dormé not to contact Anakin, lest the messages be taken by the Jedi, for they weren't sure who they could trust anymore and if the messages got in the wrong hands, their secret could be revealed. And with that revelation, Siac's life could be in danger.

Anakin could no longer tell where he was or even what he was doing. His thoughts were entirely consumed by the darkness, and the desperate need to end it all so he could finally just go home. Allies and enemies no longer bore any meaning to him as in his dark world only through the death of it all could he finally be set free. Into his blade he poured his rage, his sorrow and his fear causing his actions to be precise and furious. Any and all who tried to stand against him immediately were killed, either with his lightsaber or by the backlash of the Dark Side that coursed through his veins.

Unaware of his approaching friend, Anakin continued his vicious and violent attacks until there was no one left standing save himself and Ferus Olin.

Ferus slowly approached Anakin, his hand hovering above his lightsaber, but not wanting to use it. 'Anakin? Anakin, I've just spoken with Dormé—' he said softly, trying to appeal to the drained, yet intensely dark young man.

When his friend spoke his name Anakin seemed to snap out of his daze. His head throbbed as did the rest of his body. He couldn't remember where he was for a moment but knew enough to know he was responsible for the carnage. Quickly he looked around his expression troubled and confused as he took it all in. Ferus's words continued to pull his thoughts out of his haze leaving him feeling terrified and relieved at the same time.

'Anakin, it's over. The battle's over now.'

'The battle's over—but not the war,' Anakin murmured sadly as he turned to face his friend. 'Where's Snips?—Oh _echuta_—please tell me you saw her and she's—' Anakin stammered out before registering Ferus's previous statement.

'Ahsoka?' Ferus inquired. 'She's fine. She's worried about you, but she's fine...' Part of him didn't want to know what happened.

'Dormé? What about her? Is she all right? What about our son?' he stammered as his scattered thoughts attempted to form some semblance of coherency. The bodies of the dead were momentarily forgotten.

Ferus approached his friend and laid a hand on his shoulder. 'Dormé and Siac are fine.'

Anakin visibly calmed to his friend's assurances though his expression belied his exhaustion and division. But when Ferus admitted to Dormé and Siac being the cause for his dismissal from the Order Anakin felt a new wave of panic. 'Are they—' he began in concern suddenly fearing the safety of his family.

'The Jedi Order thinks that they're my attachments now. They let me leave the Order because of them. You won't have to worry about the Order finding out about your son.' Ferus fell silent for a moment. 'I haven't told Dormé that the Order believes this, but I did tell her about how deep we think you are embroiled in their plots. I let her know that this is why you haven't been able to return. She seemed to understand, but now I'm not so certain. I wanted to know what you thought would be the best course of action, Anakin.

'Now that I'm no longer affiliated with the Jedi...' Ferus scratched the back of his neck. 'We need to put a stop to whatever this is—' He gestured around them where the bodies of the dead lay scattered about haphazardly. 'Have you had a chance to speak to Obi-Wan?'

'But how? How can I leave this place when I'm a prisoner to the Order I'm supposed to serve?' Anakin said in frustration. The mention of Obi-Wan did little to ease his agitation and he shook his head.

'What am I supposed to tell him? He'd just tell me to return to the fold—to just stop using the Dark Side and return to the light side as if I could just flick a switch,' he groused as he rubbed his temples.

'I need to go home Ferus—' Anakin began only to become distracted by the arrival of his former master and mentor. It was with great reluctance that Anakin parted ways with Ferus.

There wasn't time for Ferus to inquire further as the replacement clone troopers landed with Master Kenobi on board. 'Olin, I'm surprised to find you here. I heard about what happened on Coruscant—'

'It's a long story, Master Kenobi,' Ferus said, but he sensed that his presence was no longer welcomed here. It deeply saddened him to get the feeling that Master Kenobi was not only disappointed in him, but also that Obi-Wan didn't trust him.

Feeling a bit dejected and also worried about his friend, Ferus left the frontlines, now feeling more lost than he ever had. His thoughts turned to the woman and her son whom he had vowed to protect. But making his way back to Naboo ended up being filled with other obstacles and his communications with the outside world were cut thin. His Jedi ship was considered an illegal possession now that he was no longer a Jedi and this was confiscated and he was left stranded on a Mid-Rim moon for a few days before he had the means of getting transport to Naboo.

Without food or credits and only his lightsaber to defend himself, Ferus was in a rather sorry state by the time he reached the home belonging to Saché Maberrie.

Those working in the household hardly recognised the former Jedi and were reluctant to take the stranger in until they saw the lightsaber. However, by that time, so too had the bounty hunter who had witnessed Ferus speaking to the Lady Dormé. He was nearly on his way inside, when the bounty hunter attacked.

Ferus had no idea what what going on and was in a bit of a daze from lack of proper food and sleep. He thought the bounty hunter was after Siac and in his defence, made a quick end to the unknown warrior.

Dormé was unaware of the entire event and when she returned home, the Jedi was long gone. She only had second-hand information and this made her incredibly worried about Anakin, thinking he had been the one to visit her and then disappear. She tried to contact him via holocomm as well as their bond.

Ferus, meanwhile, lay unconscious near the body of the bounty hunter.

* * *

The days that passed were filled with increasing amounts of violence and darkness. Anakin struggled to maintain his goal to honour Dormé and their son. But the harder he tried to uphold the jedi's rules the more agitated he became by the corruption found in them.

Though Ahsoka respected her new master it was clear she could no longer be in his presence and out of the need to protect herself and others the youngling placed a request for Master Skywalker to return to the temple for a short time. To her relief and Anakin's amazement it was permitted. As such Ahsoka would train with Master Luminara in his absence.

As he returned to Coruscant Anakin felt a new rush of hope and decided the moment he landed he would place his resignation with the Council and leave. Surely they couldn't deny that he had become more of a threat than an asset!

But as he flew back to the temple Anakin felt Dormé touching his mind just as he received a message from the holocomm. Startled at the sudden message—and the fact he was receiving it without going through the usual secret channels—Anakin quickly answered the call.

What he didn't realise was that Palpatine had no intention of allowing Anakin to part ways with the Order—not without ensuring that Anakin would do so through violence.

'Dormé? Dormé is that you?' he gasped before clutching either side of the screen. 'Oh by the goddess please tell me it's really you!' he stammered as unshed tears of relief came to his eyes. 'Please tell me you and Siac are safe! That everything is all right!'

'Anakin—Are you all right?' she asked just as he was asking about Siac and her.

'We're fine, we're safe, but Anakin—I hadn't heard from you in so long! I've been so worried. I've tried contacting you twice a day and even sent you messages. You didn't get them, did you?'

Her words sent a new chill down his spine as he stared at her in disbelief. There really was no reason why her messages wouldn't be stored in his systems, even if they were out of range. The fact she had sent it via his invention was equally unnerving as he specifically designed it to carry messages through hard to reach regions. 'I think our comm channels have been compromised,' he seethed with a curse before forcing himself to calm. 'I never got any of them,' he confessed before admitting that he had felt her through their bond but had difficulty touching her thoughts.

'Where are you?' she asked in concern. 'I heard that a Jedi had been attacked—outside my home, I thought it was you—'

Anakin's eyes grew wide as Dormé spoke of Jedi being attacked outside of her home. His heart immediately filled with fear for her safety as he struggled to clear his thoughts. 'Are you sure everything is all right? Who attacked? Have they been captured? This never would have happened if I was there!' he exclaimed in frustration.

'I don't know. I'll let you know if I find out anything—or at least I'll try.' Dormé was so relieved to see him, even if it was just through the holoprojection. It felt like it had been ages and she was glad that he was all right. He looked weary though, and she could see the circles under his eyes indicating the lack of sleep. 'You look thin, Anakin...and exhausted. Are you sure you're all right?'

Only when he was certain that Dormé and their son were all right did Anakin acknowledge his exhaustion and desire to return home. Dormé's concern both embarrassed and touched him. He knew he should have taken better care of himself and knew all too well the reasons why he did not. 'I'm fine, nothing that a few days with you and Siac couldn't fix,' he admitted with a smile. The sight of their son made him smile and he chuckled to the sight of the little boy.

'Ama?' Siac asked as he waddled over to her.

'Baby, come see your daddy,' she said, beckoning him over to the holocom.

'Hello Siac! You being good for your ama?' he asked with a smile.

Their reunion was brief as soon Talé was rushing in her expression frantic and filled with concern.

'Dormé! Dormé! It's Jedi Olin!' she cried out as she raced indoors. 'He's hurt! I think he might have been attacked!' she said as she sought out her friend.

'Ferus? He's here? Anakin, Ferus is in danger, I've got to help him—' she said, not wanting to end the call, but knowing there wasn't a choice.

Anakin's eyes grew wide as she explained that Ferus was in danger and could only simply nod as communication was cut off between them.

Once more alone, Anakin attempted to change course so he could return to Naboo, but the controls wouldn't cooperate for reasons he couldn't understand. Furious, he vented his frustration on the console only to violently curse as he soon discovered that returning to Naboo was now the least of his worries. With the ship now spiralling out of control and now within the gravitational pull of Corsucant's moon, Anakin had little choice but use all his skills to bring about some order to his ship.

Elsewhere, the elder Sith Lord known as Darth Sidious watched on through the Force, feeling torn between frustration over his pupil-to-be's stupidity and his amusement over it. He knew Anakin would survive. The question that remained was how to bring about his fall...

* * *

Ferus's head felt like it was swimming and he could only faintly feel the presence of another person nearby before he went under once more.

Dormé asked Talé's mother to watch Siac as she raced out with Talé to find Ferus. She had no idea what had happened until she spotted the fallen body of the Jedi near the bounty hunter. 'Did you tell anyone about this?' she asked Talé.

Talé shook her head to Dormé's question as she swiftly guided her to where Ferus remained unconscious.

'Ferus? Ferus, it's Dormé, can you hear me?' she asked, but he didn't respond.

'He didn't respond when I tried to rouse him—he looks exhausted,' Talé confessed in concern as her eyes flickered from Dormé to Ferus. Her friend's attempts were to no avail and soon Talé was attempting to help lift Ferus with Dorme so as to carry him inside.

Dormé checked his pulse. 'Ferus—'

'Anakin,' Ferus mumbled his friend's name in a daze.

'We need to get him inside,' Dormé said, trying to hoist him into her arms. She didn't think summoning medical help would be a good idea because of his disassociation with the Jedi.

Talé explained what little she knew of the situation to her mother and did her best to make Ferus as comfortable as she could. Her heart remained in her throat the entire time Ferus was tended to by her mother's friend.

Once they had him indoors, Talé's mother promptly contacted one of her friends who happened to be a healer. She specializes in herbal remedies and alternative medicines, but was not untrained in regular medical care.

'Dormé, Siac, Anakin...' Ferus mumbled in his delirious state. 'Anakin...Jedi...'

The healer repaired what physical damage she could see and suggested certain things for him to eat once he came to. 'Try to keep waking him up every hour to make sure he doesn't go under too far,' she added. 'I'll be back in the morning to check up on him.

Dormé thanked the old woman before returning to Ferus. Siac seemed very trouble by the events and began to cry, leaving Dormé to console him as best she could. 'He's all right. He'll be better soon. Don't worry, Siac,' Dormé said to him before trying to distract him with his toys his daddy made for him.

Talé was relieved to know that Ferus would be alright and when the healer left she offered to take turns waking him up so Dormé could at least get some rest herself. Siac was hardly in a state of contentment soon she offered to help calm the upset baby.

'Here little one you want to play with your toys?' she asked gently as she tried to make silly faces so as to distract the youngling and give Dormé a moment's rest.

For the rest of the night her thoughts were on Ferus and the attacker. She was concerned for Dormé's safety and wondered just whom the mysterious attack was and what he could have wanted with the young mother.

Dormé was incredibly thankful for Talé's mother's aid as well as Talé, especially when Siac started reacting to Ferus's presence and turmoil. However, as the medicinals and aid started to work on the unconscious former Jedi, Laic also started calming down as though sensing the young man's hurt fading.

Siac was also easily distracted with the toys and Talé because he warmed to Talé's presence. He liked playing with her because she was suspicious as some of the other ladies at the place that Ama worked at. Talé was always kind to him and sincere, something that small children, especially those with Force sensitivity were easily drawn to.

Once Siac was able to settle down, he grew tired very quickly and Dormé put him to bed before checking on Ferus once more. She then sent a message to Anakin, alerting him to the fact that Ferus was all right, but she still had no idea who attacked them or why. She then went to bed herself, since Talé said that she would be able to stay up with him for the night.

Ferus finally awoke from his unconscious state, he found his head hurt, but when he opened his eyes, he saw a beautiful woman staring back at him. 'H-hi,' he murmured.

With a shy smile she greeted him in turn though the concern was evident on her features. 'How are you feeling?' she asked softly. 'Should I get some more pillows or another blanket?'

He had no idea who this woman was, but she was gorgeous and it made him tongue-tied, but it also made the ache in his head fade away. He smiled at her.

His smile made her heart skip a beat and her cheeks immediately warmed to the sensation.

Ferus could barely mumble a word let alone reply to what she was saying. He wondered, briefly, if she knew how beautiful she was. She was like one of the angels Anakin spoke of a long time ago, who inhabited some planet in the Outer Rim. 'Oh, I—I'm fine,' he said, hardly feeling his injuries. 'Thank you,' he said. But then Ferus remembered where he was and why he had come. He also rememebr the confrontation with the bounty hunter and the information that whad leaked. He needed to speak with Dormé. 'Where's Dormé?' he asked, though he could already sense her presence in a nearby room.

Before she had a chance to explain that her friend was resting in the next room Ferus was trying to sit up. 'Easy now Master Olin, don't want you to be moving about too quickly lest put too much stress on your wounds,' she said softly. Placing a hand to his shoulder she tried to encourage him to rest once more. 'I'll wake you up again in the hour until then its best you get some rest,' she suggested softly.

'I can't rest right now—' Ferus said, trying to explain. 'There are matters of grave importance...' He wasn't sure how close this woman was with Dormé or how much she knew or what Dormé had told her, so he remained silent on the matter. 'I'm sorry—' He got up from the couch in order to go to her room.

He took a few steps to Dormé's room, feeling dizzy, but using the Force as a temporary stabilizer until he was sure everything was sorted out.

Talé followed him as she feared he might fall faint or experience dizziness. 'Are you sure this can't wait until morning? It is late after all and you're really in no condition to be running around,' she said in concern.

He softly knocked and said, 'Dormé, I need to speak with you—it's urgent.'

'It's all right,' she said sleepily, rising from the bed and drawing on a nightgown. 'Come in.'

Once Dormé allowed him in Talé quietly slipped off to get some more pillows for the young man. She didn't want to interrupt their conversation and knew if trouble were to occur that Dormé would readily call for her help.

With her permission, he ducked into the room and approached. 'The bounty hunter—he knows—he knew information Dormé, information about Siac. I'm not sure what all he told the Jedi or which Jedi it was, but I think he was going to take Siac to Coruscant. The Jedi believe that Siac is my son. They don't know the truth, but it's more dangerous now. I'm sorry. It's my fault for coming to see you after I saw Anakin—'

Dormé shook her head in disbelief. She didn't want anyone to take Siac from her, but she was also thankful that Anakin wasn't in trouble because of this. Additionally, she felt bad that Ferus had been dragged into this because of their friendship. 'No, I'm the one who is sorry, Ferus. You've been so good to us and both Anakin and I have only caused you pain and suffering...'

'That's not true. I'm your friend,' he insisted. 'I know Anakin and you would do the same for me.'

'But the bounty hunter...he's dead. He can't report anything further, whether it is the truth or not. But you-how's your head?'

'It's fine now, but Dormé, I think it would be best if Siac and you move away from here. I know you're not exactly in the position to do so, but I think it would be a good idea.'

Dormé fell silent at this. While she understood his concern, with the bounty hunter dead, she didn't think it would make much of a difference. 'I have my job here, and Saché has been so kind to let me stay here. Siac has a very good life here right now and I don't think moving house would really help that much, especially if the Jedi use their Force abilities to track him. They would find him even if we ran away to the Outer Rim, Ferus.'

Ferus frowned, knowing if they wanted him that bad, the Jedi would be able to get Siac. 'And you're right, I would be able to protect you better if you were here...' He sighed, running a hand through his hair. 'I'll have to come up with another plan.'

'Get some rest, Ferus. Thank you for your help.' She gave him a hug and bid him goodnight before going in to check on Siac again. She watched Siac sleep for a long time before trying to go back to sleep herself.

Meanwhile, Ferus's thoughts were entirely distracted. In spite of his wounded head and sore arm, his thoughts were processing a million different pieces of information as he tried to sort out what the next best plan would be. He still had to talk to Dormé about his concerns for Anakin, but that could wait until the morning. In the meantime, he went out to the Maberrie's garden and stared up the sky. Could he trust his own visions of the future?

Ferus was promptly departing for the gardens his expression filled with trepidation. With silent footsteps Talé entered the gardens but kept her distance as she didn't wish to impede on his private moment. She had promised the healer that she would keep an eye out for him and she wasn't about to back down on her duties.

After speaking with Dormé and wandering pensively into the garden, he looked up at the stars. Then stars formed in his own eyes as he lost his balance and landed on his back in the grass.

The young knight looked to the sky and suddenly went limp. Fearful for his safety and health, Talé raced over to his side her expression riddled with concern and fear. 'Master Olin? Are you OK? I knew I shouldn't have let you roam about!' she exclaimed as she tried to revive him. Soon he was coming too and she sighed in relief before helping him sit up.

When Ferus came to, he was incredibly embarrassed, knowing that the beautiful young woman had witnessed his fall. 'I think you were right about getting some rest,' he murmured. 'I should have listened to you,' he admitted shyly.

'I think you should have,' Talé admitted with a wry smile. At his introduction Talé realised that she hadn't introduced herself to him either. Her cheeks burned as she stammered out an apology.

'I'm Ferus Olin, by the way. I'm sorry; I don't think I caught your name.'

'I'm so terribly sorry I've never introduced myself. I've heard so much about your from Dormé—please forgive my manners! I'm Talé and it is a pleasure to have met you, Ferus,' she concluded with a shy smile of her own as she tried to help him up.

Ferus grinned at the young woman with stars in his eyes as she helped him back to his feet and into the house. Though he would have liked to spend the rest of the night speaking to her, he fell asleep.

In the morning, the first thing he did was look for Talé, who stayed nearby the whole night. He knew it was her presence that allowed him to sleep so peacefully and to awake refreshed. And it was now because of her that he could do a healing meditation to fully recover from the confrontation. He thought of trying to cook something decent for breakfast, but the staff was already at work and Talé had to leave for her own job. Disappointed, but simultaneously pleased to know that she would be returning that evening, Ferus made plans to stay on Naboo for as long as he could.

Later that afternoon, Ferus requested to speak to Dormé again in private. This time, he asked her directly if she considered the possibility of letting him take Siac for a little while, if only to perpetuate the claims that had tossed him out of the Jedi Order. 'It might take some of the heat off you for a little while so that you can have things sorted here. I can block his Force signature so that no one will know or be able to track us.'

'I really don't like that idea, Ferus,' Dormé replied. 'It's not that I don't trust you; I just will miss him too much and I think we'll be all right here for a little while longer, just until Anakin has everything sorted out—until he can be free of the Order as well and finalize things with Padmé,' she said.

'But, Dormé, there are plenty of places that you can go that wouldn't involve being in total isolation; it just wouldn't be on Naboo.'

'And who would pay for our living expenses when I'm out of a job? You? Ferus, you're not thinking logically.'

'I'm thinking completely logically; you're just not listening to what I'm trying to say—'

'I've been listening, Ferus. I've heard all of this before and I'm telling you that if they've got Force powers like yours, they're going to be able to find Siac! And besides, we don't know that they're the ones who sent this bounty hunter after us. We don't know for sure who is behind it.'

Frustrated, Ferus tried to regain his sense of balance, though it was hard. He took a breath. 'Tell me what I can do to help you.'

'You can help by continuing to keep an eye on Anakin for me since I can't be there. He needs your help. The last time I spoke with him—the last time I saw his holo—' She broke off, trying to contain her emotion as she thought of how exhausted and burnt out he looked.

Ferus rested a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. 'I know.' Ferus had seen this in person, but he also didn't know what he could really do for Anakin. At least with Dormé's situation it was easier, keeping enemies away from her and her son.

'You could watch Siac for me when I'm at work so we don't raise anymore suspicions—he's been experimenting with Force powers more frequently and I don't think it's good for other people to see that. Maybe when he's older and knows it's not something to showcase, it'll be better, but not right now.'

Ferus beamed. 'I can do that!' he said cheerfully, glad that he had a mission that he could accomplish, having no idea just what went into caring for a two-and-a-half-year-old.

'Great!' Dormé exclaimed, giving her friend a hug.

* * *

Anakin regained consciousness to the sound of his holocomm chiming loudly as though it were a klaxxon sounding off in his head. With a groan he struggled to silence the horrible sound, his hands beating against random controls that decorated his ship's console as bleary eyes tried to make sense of his surroundings. His body throbbed and ached while the taste of blood was felt on his tongue.

His fingers brushed against his brow and came back red. A soft curse escaped his lips before he silenced the holo-comm. The message that awaited him was a relief. At the same time it alerted Anakin to a new threat one that he was too far away to prevent. Someone was clearly hunting his family down. Who were they? Why were they doing this?

Desperate, he sent a message to his mentor, Palpatine, before sending another to Dormé, explaining that he would be running behind as something had come up. Once they were sent, Anakin turned his attentions to the matter of repairing his now mangled ship. It was going to be a while.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - _'You can't just tell me this and walk away!' Anakin snapped. Grabbing her arm, he demanded, 'Dammit, Padmé, I need answers! Are you certain I'm the father?'_


	22. A Father Again

Anakin was torn between fury and fear upon hearing Dormé's news. While he was relieved to know that they were safe and that Ferus was healing as well Anakin was concerned for the future. What would happen if it were to occur next time? What if Ferus hadn't been there to protect them?

He liked the idea of Dormé remaining put even less. At the same time, he knew she was right. The Jedi would have more than an easy time of tracking them, especially with their son's bright Force signature.

If anything could act as motivation to get home, Dormé's message had done just that. With no one else to turn to. Anakin did his best to bury his emotions so as to repair his ship swiftly without distraction. Eventually he was back in space though it came at the price of his wounds which were worsen by the fact he was too distracted to tend to them. Internal bleeding being hte worse of it.

The hour was late when Anakin found himself landing on the outer regions of Saché's home. He was dizzy and out of sorts but determined to see firsthand that his family was safe. Stumbling out of his ship, he staggered towards the house while attempting to clear his thoughts and ignore his throbbing head.

Talé having finished her duties at her job decided to return to Dormé's home to check up on her friend and to see if the young jedi was doing any better. Though she wasnt' the finest cook she couldn't help but prepare a meal for them as she imagined with the events and the additional guests that Dormé might not have the energy or the time.

Needless to say she was a little more prepared upon being greeted by a stumbling Anakin who was trying to deactivate the security code to get inside. Had his thoughts been a little more clear he would have had far better luck. But focusing on the simplest tasks required a great deal of work.

'Here, let me help you,' she said softly as she helped him with the security panel before offering an arm to support him. 'I'd ask what happened, but I'm not sure—'

'Are you sure Dormé's all right? What of our son?' came the weak reply.

Talé gently assured they were fine and would fetch a healer to help him.

Anakin was too worried for his family to really register her words and remained silent.

Ferus sensed Anakin's arrival and was the first to announce it, when Siac shouted 'ADAAAAA DADDY!'

Ferus laughed and pretended to race Siac to the door.

Dormé thought the sight was incredibly cute, but beat them both to the door, which she palmed open before launching herself at the weakened and exhausted Jedi. She barely registered Talé's presence at first. 'I'm so glad you're home!' she said before blushing at the sight of Talé and welcoming her back into Saché's abode.

'It's been so long I thought I would never—Force its so good to be home again,' he murmured into Dormé's dark hair as he held onto her tightly.

Siac was too excited to tell that Daddy wasn't feeling so well. He marched over in his funny walk with arms outstretched and a big smile on his face.

The sight of their son soon drew him out of his thoughts and he beamed suddenly feeling a new rush of energy. 'Siac! You're so big!' he exclaimed before scooping the youngling inot his arms and ruffling his hair. 'I've missed you so much little one! Have you been a good boy to your ama?' he asked with a smile. He tried his best to hide his exhaustion though it was clear he wasn't doing so well as he was leaning against the wall behind him for more support.

Even though Ferus was also worried about Anakin, the sight of Siac marching and laughing made him feel lighter in spirit as well. He then looked over at Talé with a smile on his face as well.

Talé remained silent, her smile riddled with a mix of relief and concern. She blushed to the sight of Ferus's smile and felt a little of her concerns ease away. 'How are you, Ferus? You look a little more rested now,' she said kindly noting tht a little colour had returned to his cheeks as well.

Anakin did his best to hide his wounds especially from Siac as well as Dormé. He didn't want to worry her though it was hard to hide the evidence and soon his beloved friend was collecting a medpack.'I'm fine, Dormé—it serves me right I was in such a hurry, I ran into trouble and—' he shook his head feeling his cheeks warm. Soon however he was forced to set Siac back on his feet. His body ached and his strength wasn't there.

Siac scrambled out of Daddy's arms to get what he made which was really an attempt at a copy of one of Daddy's creations. It at least had a similar shape, though he couldn't get it to move the way Daddy's did unless he used the Force.

'He made an invention already? He's so smart! Definitely didn't get it from his Daddy thats for sure!' he said with a rush of pride as he beamed to Ferus and Dormé.

Meanwhile, Ferus nodded to Talé, trying to hide his blushing cheeks to no avail. 'Thanks to your insistence that I take it easy,' he replied.

Talé grew serious to Ferus words and felt a tinge of disappointment upon learning that he had ot leave. 'I'm glad you did, you're looking alot better now if you don't mind my saying so,' she said with a shy smile.

'When Anakin gets to feeling better, could you give this to him?' he requested, handing her a datachip with information on it pertaining to the attack he experienced and all of the information he knew of having to do with the Jedi Order and what they believed to be true about Siac. Ferus recorded this while in the privacy of Saché's home and wanted it to go directly to Anakin's hands before anyone else learnt of the suspicions. Now that Anakin was here, Ferus knew some things needed to be tended to on Coruscant and that even though he was no longer affiliated with the Order, he still had contacts in the inside. His old master wouldn't refuse an audience with him.

At his request she nodded in understanding. 'You have my word—but promise me that you'll be careful,' she said as she gave his arm a gentle squeeze.

Ferus ran a hand through his hair slightly nervous at speaking with Talé, though the urgency of the situation made it a little easier to bear. After expressing his thanks, she accepted the favour he requested of her. In turn, she requested that he take care of himself and he nodded. 'Anakin's usually the more clumsy of the two of us,' he tried to joke, though it sounded a bit flat to his ears.

Talé smiled at Ferus's joke. 'Well just try not to experience any more Anakin moments if you can,' she teased back as her expression softened. It was clear she was still worried about him. 'As much as I enjoy your company, I think I'd rather it be under less urgent circumstances,' she confessed.

He thanked Talé and asked that she also thank Dormé for hospitality, mentioning that he would be back to watch Siac when he had the chance, but this was something that he needed to tend to first.

Talé promised she would also send Dormé his gratitude as well as his promise to return the first chance he had.

The feel of Talé's hand on his arm and the weight in her eyes drew Ferus in and he leant in, about to kiss her on the lips, but something made him hesitate.

Suddenly his amber eyes met her own and Talé felt her heart race as she was unable to look away. As he neared Talé felt her cheeks burn and soon her courage was lost. After a brief pause, she bowed her head feeling conscious of herself and the thoughts his intent gaze encouraged.

'I'll be back soon,' he murmured, pausing before departing. Little did he know that the next time he saw Talé, so much would have changed.

She nodded before whispering a soft blessing her in native tongue.

Unaware of Ferus's departure, Dormé made sure that Anakin had something to eat as she did what little she could to mend his physical wounds.

Anakin blushed a bright red but didn't resist as Dormé tended to his wounds. 'I'm OK—it's not that bad,' he said before confessing in embarrassed tones to losing his temper and breaking his ship's controls.

'Dare I ask what you were up to that caused these?' she asked gently, wanting to know everything that had happened recently in more details than she could get over a comm. She also knew of Ferus's concerns for Anakin and hoped that there might be an end to this war.

'I only have myself to blame,' he said sheepishly. 'Its just every time I try to leave something forces me back to the frontlines—I got desperate,' he said sheepishly before thanking her for everything. 'I never thought I'd ever be able to return home. Nevermind see you or our son again,' he admitted sheepishly.

Dormé wanted to know everything, including the details that weren't pretty and even though it was hard, she remained patient and let him tell her at his own pace. She did, however, have to giggle a little bit at his admission that he was angry at not being able to return home again. 'I'm glad that this is still home for you,' she replied, kissing his cheek though her instincts warred against her, wanting to kiss him on the lips instead.

Siac was back soon with his inventions, talking in his broken version of language as he explained. Some of his words were in a made up language, but he babbled on just excited and happy that his daddy was there, even if daddy didn't want to play as much because he wasn't feeling well.

Soon Siac was returning with a rather unique looking version of something Anakin once made for Dormé. The sight of it caused his eyes to grow wide. He beamed as he listend to their son speak of it eagerly. 'Siac, you made this? Look, Dormé! I can't believe he made this all by himself! Wow Siac you're so smart! Just like your Ama!' he exclaimed in joy.

Siac was very proud of his invention and bounced on the bed when Ama picked him up. 'Like Ada—' he tried to explain, not quite understanding what Daddy meant about being like Ama since he had made this to be like Daddy. Siac was a ball of energy, wanting to take Daddy to his room to show him more things, but Ama told him Daddy needed to rest. But Daddy's love and thrilled emotions made Siac incredibly happy so even though he wanted to play more, he didn't push the matter too much. He did protest a little but until he needed to use the fresher, which he also announced to the world.

'Come on sweetheart,' Dormé said, lifting him back into her arms. She had been trying to train him to use the fresher and only had luck half of the time, but the other ladies she worked with said that it would take longer for boys and not to worry too much about it yet. When they returned, Siac wanted to bounce on the bed, but Dormé had to curb this urge. 'It would be easier if I had Force powers, I think,' she said, lightly teasing him and tickling Siac.

'You seem to be doing just fine with your Ama powers,' he teased with a wink before moving to tickle Siac as well. 'You be good for your ama, Siac don't be wearing her out the way you wore me out!' he said as he tickled Siac's chin.

It was with great reluctance that Anakin took to resting in Dorme's bed. He begged Dormé not to let him rest for too long lest he miss any time with Siac. 'It'll be a short nap,' he said with hopeful look. 'I dont know when I'll be able to see either of your again so I want to make the most of it.'

'I promise,' Dormé replied. 'Would you like him to rest with you tonight—if you're staying the night? Or would that disturb you too much? Sometimes he can be a bit fidgety.' She wanted to at least offer, even if it wasn't something that was the best of ideas or that he would be interested in.

Her request made him both shy and hopeful at the same time. 'I'd love it if he could,' he answered in shy tones. He wanted more than anything to spend time with his son. Even if it was in rest Anakin couldn't resist.

Dormé smiled at his words. If anything made up for their time apart, seeing Anakin with Siac meant everything to her. 'Would you like to rest with Daddy, Siac?'

'YES!' Siac cheered.

'You have to stay quiet though, OK?' Dormé said. 'Let me know if you need anything,' she said to Anakin. 'Sleep well.'

Siac marvelled at his Daddy, whom he didn't get to see every day. He poked at him and touched his belt, finding the pouches to be interested, as well as Daddy's tunic. He spoke to him about anything on his mind, remembering what Ama said about being quiet, until he too became sleepy. He clutched Daddy's tunic tightly as he slept.

Exiting the bedroom, Dormé found Talé helping to clean up.

'Where's Ferus?' Dormé asked.

'He promised to return the first chance he has and wishes you to know how grateful he is for your kindness.'

'He is so noble,' Dormé sighed, grateful for the man's friendship.

* * *

Palpatine on the other hand was quick to learn of Anakin's escape and that he was somewhere on Naboo. It was his belief taht Anakin was visiting Padmé who had also returned to Naboo to visit family.

This was an unexpected turn of events but it didn't stop Palpatine from making the most of it. Swiftly he ordered Padmé's return informing her that there had been come complications pertaining to the senate. To Anakin another message was sent warning him of the council's rage should they learn of his whereabouts.

However, Anakin's holo-comm had been destroyed during his journey and so it was forwarded to the comm on his beaten ship and remained for the moment unheeded.

Padmé, for her part, was hardly pleased at having to cut the visit with her parents, sister, and little nieces short, for it was such a rare occasion that she was able to see them. It was lovely weather and she had been planning on going for a swim the next day as well. All of this was brought to a sharp close and she had to reluctantly say goodbye to them, making further promises she didn't know when she would be able to keep. She hated that the most.

* * *

In flight, Ferus couldn't get the moment out of his head. Try as he might, he kept going over it, wondering why he hadn't been able to kiss her and all of the reasons he shouldn't have thought about it to begin with. He was no longer a Jedi, but thoughts of Darra and then Dormé filtered back into his head. He was trying to uphold his promises and the virtues he had been brought up to believe in. Was Talé just a distraction? Was she a deterrent from the path he struggled on? Where was this so-called path going?

But that balance he felt shift in the Force every time Anakin was reunited with his family...that was something Ferus wanted to experience first hand more than anything in the universe. It was something he briefly touched on himself when Talé touched his arm and when she squeezed it—it was like a jolt of lightning through the Force, but of the light side, not the dark... It was like the Force was trying to tell him something.

Ferus was in a very confused state for the rest of his journey and it wasn't until the last leg that he began to meditate to clear his thoughts so that his arrival on Coruscant would be more productive.

Through the bond Ferus had with his former master, he followed her Force signature to the garden within the Jedi Temple. Unfortunately, the guards wouldn't allow him entrance because he was no longer affiliated with the order. He had to wait until the next morning when she left the temple in order to confront her.

'Ferus,' Asthaea remarked upon seeing her old Padawan. 'How have you been? You seem troubled.'

Ferus shyly nodded, admitting that things could be better. 'I'm sure you've heard the rumours surrounding my departure from the Order or those that have been circulating since I've left.'

'I have,' she said, nodding as they took a less populated street from the senatorial district.

'I made a promise to a friend, one that I've kept,' he added. 'I knew that I couldn't do anything else on my own and that's why I've come here, to ask for your help. Something very dark is coming; I can feel it. I think it's something that can be prevented. People are going to die if we don't do something to stop it.'

'It's a very dark time for the galaxy with this neverending war,' Asthaea agreed. 'But we have to trust the Force and trust that were are doing the right thing. We have to have faith in the Jedi Order.'

'But they have made some mistakes—especially with the way they've had Anakin go off into the worst parts of the galaxy where he can cause more damage—people have died, innocent people have already died—because of his use of the dark side. Certainly the Council knows of this. His Padawan has also been endangered—'

'We have to trust the Council's judgement, Ferus,' his mentor replied, placing a hand on his shoulder.

'Blindly? This is why I left,' he said, shaking his head. 'I think the Order is blind to the faults of their Chosen One. I love Anakin like a brother, but I can see things that even Master Kenobi can't, or at least refuses to see. Anakin needs to be let go. He needs to be able to leave the Order instead being reeled back in again and again—'

'And what about your son?' Asthaea asked softly. 'Will you endanger him as well by preventing him from training in the ways of the Jedi?'

Frustrated, Ferus knew as much as he looked up to his former mentor, as though she were his mother, he knew this conversation was going in circles. Defeated, he could only tell the truth. 'I will fight to protect the innocent. My life will pay the forfeit should the Jedi attempt to intercede.'

Asthaea looked at Ferus sadly, wishing there were more she could say or do to stop him from walking out on what she still believed to be his destiny. But she also saw the nobility in his stance and his carriage. He was a good man and would continue to follow the light; she knew this to be true, whatever the Force had in store for him.

Not knowing which next avenue to explore, Ferus attempted to make contact with Anakin's former master, Obi-Wan, and also to see if he could find any news about Ahsoka Tano.

* * *

It was late in the day when Anakin eventually returned to his ship. He had intended on showing Siac a new invention he had made for both him and his ama. Instead he found himself staring at a rather urgent message demanding his return to the temple.

Frustrated, he uttered a string of curses to himself before answering Palpatine's message with one of his own. He would return to Coruscant but only on the condition that he would face the council so as to withdraw from the Order.

No reply was given, Anakin didn't expect any. Nevertheless it wasn't without its price. Just as Anakin was collecting his inventions he slipped into a strange trance. The items—creations designed for holo-vids and music—slipped from his fingers landing at his feet with a soft thud.

Though his body was far from healed Anakin was clambering back into his ship and departing without even a single word of good-bye to his family.

After awhile, Anakin hadn't returned. Dormé grew concerned, so with Siac in his arms, she went out to where she thought he would be with his ship. All she found was the imprints in the grass where his ship had been. Something wasn't right; she could feel it in her bones. If he had to leave, he would have at least said something. She knew this.

_I hope you're all right,_ she whispered, or rather tried to whisper through their bond, but she heard no response.

* * *

Upon Anakin's arrival on Coruscant, his mind was once more his own. Stunned, he took in his surroundings, the senatoral district was not where he imagined he would be. The sight of it sent a chill down his spine. Anakin had little doubt as to what had happened and the fact he now found himself here meant that they knew of his relations to Padmé. Suddenly, he wondered if she too was in on it, if this was but a part of a bigger plan.

Furious, he stormed off towards the senator's quarters. He was tired of the games and this time he had no intention of leaving without getting answers.

Padmé had to change into more appropriate attire for the meeting she was expected to attend, but hardly any of her clothes fit anymore, due to her pregnancy. She was furious about it, but upon seeing Anakin return in a fury, it was just another thing to anger her.

She supposed she had to tell him. 'Glad to see you too,' she said sarcastically as he stormed into her apartment.

Anakin scowled to the sight of Padmé he couldn't say why she was furious and in truth he didn't care. The young senator was never happy to see him and in truth neither was he.

'Listen, Anakin, we need to figure out what we're going to do because I'm pregnant.' It had been nearly seven months and she almost sent him a message about it, but didn't want that sort of information being leaked.

'What are we going to do? What are you talk—' he fell silent as he stared at her in disbelief.

'We don't have a lot of time to discuss this right now. I have to go to a meeting.'

'What? But how? I mean I can't be—I mean—we only—Oh _iquicha-we_,' Anakin cursed feeling a mix of shock and elation followed by a rush of guilt. How was he going to explain this one? Anakin could still recall their volatile coupling all those months ago. The vicious edge the silent, unspoken demand for control and power over one another. It was as though they were trying to break each other through the act. It was horrible and yet it would seem in a very small way something good had come of it. But in that moment he was just too shell shocked to make sense of it all.

'Why are you telling me this now? Why didn't you tell me this sooner?'

'You think I wouldn't have told you sooner? If you were ever around, I might have, but it's not like I could send you a message. I might as well have it broadcasted over the holonews: Naboo senator pregnant by Chosen One, Illicit Marriage, Corrupting Jedi... Brilliant strategy, Ani.'

Anakin didn't know how to respond upon hearing Padmés statement. He knew that she was right but at the same time had the news come out they'd have been forced to part ways if only to save face in the public eye. It would be an easy way out—at least for him. 'Who cares if they know! It would have given us the perfect excuse to end this stupid joke of a marriage!' he snapped. But Padmé was promptly walking out as she often did after leaving him at odds with her words. This time he couldn't let her walk, not after what she just told him.

'You think this marriage is a joke?' Padmé asked, almost about to laugh. Surely he was joking, wasn't he? How was she to know how to make this a proper marriage when it was hardly allowed to begin with since he was a Jedi and she was a politician. 'You led me to believe that you were in love with me!' Padmé laughed sardonically as she headed for the door.

'Wait you're going to leave? You can't just tell me this and walk away!' Anakin snapped.

Grabbing her arm, he demanded, 'Dammit, Padmé, I need answers! Are you certain I'm the father?' As much as he wanted to have more children, this wasn't how he imagined it. In fact the idea terrified him, the possibility that their baby would be raised under such conditions, to parents who hated one another and possibly one who hated them even more. 'I thought you didn't want children!' he stammered.

'Now you accuse me of having an affair? No, I didn't want children, but it's a little late for that now, isn't it?' She had mixed feelings about it, but her parents and sister had been so happy about it when she told them. It was like she was finally gaining the approval she had always secretly wanted. Everything Sola did was always perfect in their eyes and it seemed no matter what Padmé did, she could never gain that; now she had. She might not have considered herself the mothering type, but she could give it a go. She had plenty of other people to help her out with a baby anyway.

'How else could you have gotten pregnant! I never wanted chidren with you and you didn't want children—clearly it had to have been whom ever you were last with!' Anakin explained as though he were talking to a youngling. In his mind children were a gift from the Force only those who wanted a child were blessed with them. Clearly this wasn't the case and he was entirely confused.

Padmé glared at him as she informed him. 'Out of all the relationships I've had, you're the only one who bypassed all the birth control methods I've had in place since I was a teenager.'

'Birth control? What are you talking about?' he asked his mind frantically trying to wrap itself around her words. 'You didn't—then why did you?' Anakin began before scowling as he glared at her.

From accusing her of their marriage being a joke, Anakin was now saying she had cheated on him. If she had thought he was naive before, she had clearly underestimated him. How could he not understand the concept of sex and pregnancy? The Jedi education taught him a lot of things, but now she could see just how it was lacking. 'The last person I was with was you, Ani,' she said before trying to explain the measures she had had in place though it clearly hadn't worked with the Jedi.

'I wish Obi-Wan would have gone to Naboo with me instead of you. At least he would have kept his thoughts on protecting me instead of trying to seduce me into thinking I was in love. I don't know why I fell for your lame excuses for romance, turning your childish fascination with me into a marriage that never should have happened.'

She was angry at herself and had been for a very long time. There were many occasions when this anger would lash out on people that didn't deserve to be treated that way, including Sabé and Saché, two of her closest friends and advisers. Though Anakin and she needed talk, she really didn't want to. She felt more comfortable in front of thousands of delegates than she did in close quarters with Anakin who was her husband. She knew he had Force powers and that he had done terrible things with those powers, but she didn't believe fully that he was capable of destroying her. It was a mistake that would inevitably be her last.

'I seduced you? How so? You're the one who was all dolled up in bar gear and flirting with me! You wanted the most powerful man in the Republic and you got it! But I never loved you, Padmé! I only married you to get even with the Jedi for enslaving me! I can't believe you'd actually think I'd ever want to be with you! And in that way no less!' he growled.

Padmé frowned at his further accusations, saying she had been flirting with him because he was powerful. He explained his true reasons for marrying her and she couldn't say that she wasn't hurt. Even if the feelings she thought she had had for him were real, she knew now she had just been fooling herself. He was right; this whole marriage was a joke.

Padmé had thought up hundreds of different ideas, ways to keep the pregnancy a secret. She had first considered having it aborted, but then began to grow attached to the idea of being a mother, not the actuality of motherhood and all that it entailed. She liked the title of mother, for hadn't she always been a mother to the people of Naboo? She considered having the official records state that the child died while having it adopted by a good family, knowing that it would aid in giving her a sympathy vote. It had been done before; she wouldn't be the first. 'I want to have the baby on Naboo, near my parents' home; I've already made arrangements. Sabé or one of the other handmaidens will take over while I'm on leave,' she informed him.

Her next words, however, caused his heart to lodge itself in his throat. He knew enough to know that Padmé's parent's home was close to where Dormé now resided. One more horrific truth he would have to share, one more secret he didn't want any part of. 'Why do you care where the child is raised? Its not like you want it anyway! Why not let me raise it?' he tried. Padmé seemed to have considered this as well only she saw it more as the Jedi raising the child. Anakin frowned. Even if he despise the mother he knew he would always love their baby.

She wondered why, when she mentioned Naboo, that he seemed to tense up. 'You? You mean the Jedi?' she asked. She knew the Jedi would want to have the children anyway since the child would no doubt be sensitive to the Force and probably worshiped as Anakin was for being their Chosen One. 'Inevitably, the Jedi will want the child, won't they? Whether they know that it's yours or not, they will take it from me—' Padmé said. 'What are we going to do about it? Should we tell Obi-Wan the truth and ask him for help?' Pdamé knew her parents would not warm to the idea of the Jedi taking her child away from her, though Padmé couldn't say that she wouldn't have minded the idea. At least then the child would be taken care of by good people and she could probably at least see the child once in awhile.

Anakin wasn't too keen on having Obi-Wan learn the truth either. As much as he wanted to share the truth with is friend and mentor Anakin believed Obi-Wan wouldn't understand. He also feared what the Council would do to Obi-Wan if they learned that he knew. 'Obi-Wan doesn't need to know what doesn't pertain to him.

In her shock and outrage she couldn't speak for a moment as she tried regain her self-control. Hardening herself, she knew the only way to reach him would be for his attraction to her. 'You said children were a blessing and I've been starting to realise this ever since I first felt it moving inside of me,' she said softly, making no mention of the threats he only seconds ago unleashed on her.

'I'm going to speak to the Council about withdrawing from the Jedi and when I'm released I am going to divorce you and take the baby. You want your freedom and so do I. Once all is said and done, I never want to see you again, nor do I want you near our child,' Anakin stated in dark and deadly tones.

'I really have to go now,' she told him, adjusting the folds of her gown to cover her bulging form more smoothly. She gave him a cold kiss, saying, 'And I thought you would have been ecstatic at the news. Didn't you say you always wanted children?' With that, she left the apartment without looking back, a trail of handmaidens followed as though they had been mere statues in the background and were now living, breathing people.

Padmé's cold kiss made him shiver in repulsion though her words cut deep. He had wanted children, but not with her. Even worse was the possibility of a child growing up with a loveless mother. Though Padmé had plans of her own Anakin was now more determined than ever to ensure his child's safety and wellbeing.

Once Padmé left, Anakin too departed, but he didn't leave to the temple as he had planned. Instead, his feet took him to the supreme chancellor's office.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - Anakin's new assignment and his struggle to end his farce of a marriage to Padmé doesn't go as planned.


	23. A New Assignment

Ferus had no say over whether Anakin's son would train to be a Jedi or what Anakin and Dormé had discussed in regards to that matter, but he also knew that speaking of Siac to anyone had the potential to endanger him, even if the person was trustworthy like Asthaea Arxia. Discouraged, but not defeated, Ferus finally made contact with Master Kenobi, who was currently leading a battalion in the Outer Rim Territories.

Obi-Wan couldn't give specifics on his mission or location, but assured Ferus that he would look into finding out where Ahsoka was and to let him know when he found out anything that could be of use to Ferus.

Ferus appreciated this, but didn't think there would be enough time. He spoke of Anakin to Master Kenobi.

Obi-Wan looked grimly at the holoimage of Ferus Olin before he spoke of his unwavering faith in Anakin.

While Ferus was stewing on Coruscant, wanting to be in three places at once: Naboo to protect Dormé, seeking out Anakin in the senatorial district or Jedi Temple, and in the Outer Rim Territories to bring Ashoka back to Coruscant and out of the war, Obi-Wan broke away from the command of his current mission to make contact with Aayla Secura. Finding out that the young Padawan was under the care of a Master Jedi, Obi-Wan sent a message back to Ferus Olin, letting him know that the youngling was safe.

Ferus couldn't believe the message he received from Master Kenobi. Was there no one else in this galaxy that could tell that something horrible was about to happen? Why weren't they listening?

* * *

Unaware of the turmoil on Coruscant, Dormé tried to get in contact with Ferus, if only to know if he had heard anything about Anakin. She was worried about him and it seemed that even Siac knew something was wrong. She wished he would hear her whispered thoughts, but it seemed as though there was such a darkness surrounding and encompassing the galaxy that whatever she tired, her intentions were blocked.

'I wish you were here,' she said. 'I wish I knew how to help.'

Siac played with his invention that looked like an imitation of his father's flying device. He could at least make his fly with the Force. Even though he knew Ama didn't like it when he did that, he had a habit of doing so when she wasn't looking.

'Siac, stop that—' she said when she saw what he was doing. 'You can't keep doing that—no one must see you when you do that—'

Siac became upset and Dormé wished her tone hadn't been so harsh. She scooped him into her arms and held him to her chest. 'I'm sorry, Siac... I'm just trying to protect you—I love you so much, little one.'

Siac was the first to notice the strange holo-messages from Anakin's Padawan. He thought it was a new game and tried swiping at the images of the girl with funny hair. But after Dormé saw the messages and understood who the girl was, she took it away from Siac and tried to reply, unsure if the message would get through. Sure enough, it did and Siac and she were on the receiving end of sweet messages from Anakin's Padawan.

Each time there was a new recorded message waiting for them, Siac would proudly announce ''Shoka comm.!'

Dormé enjoyed listening to and watching Ashoka's messages, wishing that she were able to meet her in person. Ashoka seemed like a very sweet girl and knew that Siac would love to meet her if they had the occasion. Though Dormé didn't know the extent of her mission or many of the people the girl mentioned, she enjoyed hearing from her nonetheless. Dormé also tried to send as many messages as she could to her in return, though she was always reluctant to admit that she hadn't heard anything from Anakin at all and that she worried about him.

'I wish I could send you something more substantial than a holocom, like sandwiches or cookies, but that just means that you'll have to come to Naboo for a visit sometime so that I can make it up to you!' she announced in her last recording.

'Me too!' Siac said, even though Dormé knew that he didn't know what he was agreeing to.

Dormé never admitted to the young girl that Siac was Anakin's son, nor anything regarding their personal life, just that Ferus and Anakin were both friends of hers and that she hoped Ashoka would be her friend too.

* * *

Ahsoka soon found a new friendship in Dormé and her son Siac. It wasn't too hard for her to understand why Anakin was so fond of the young mother. In fact, in many ways Ahsoka began to see Dormé as a big sister and Siac as a little brother.

She could still remember the first time she made contact with them. The nervous introduction and the strange reply which was in reality Siac attempting to grab at her image. Dormé was a forgiving woman who understood Ahsoka's loneliness without her ever saying a word of it. The young togruta was grateful to her in ways she couldn't explain and hoped that one day she'd make it up to them.

The war grew steadily worse but Dormés messages were a ray of light for Ahsoka who look forward to receiving them.

Today she received two messages, one from her friends on Naboo and the other an order to return to the temple. Excited and eager to return home Ahsoka sent a message to Dormé unaware that their first meeting woudl be under far darker circumstances than planned.

'Guess what! I just might have to take you up on your offer for sandwiches and cookies! I'm coming back to Coruscant! I received an order that we're all to return ot the temple!

'Once I get back I'm going to get Skyguy to take me to Naboo to see you both! He says you make the best cookies in the galaxy! And you know he'd never lie about that!' she eagerly announced. She was about to say something more when the sound of shouts and laser fire could be heard. Frowning she apologized and was about to part ways when something caused her connection to suddenly go out.

There would be no further messages from Ahsoka that day.

* * *

Though Siac hadn't been able to return to Dormé's place of work, out of her fear of him showing off his magic powers, he had been able to visit one of his friends, who was recently adopted. The little girl was about his age, though they weren't sure exactly since she had been left on their doorstep without any information. Her name was Vanné and Siac and she were always running about with their latest games.

Dormé didn't mind that Siac went over to her house to play for a few hours on the weekends, so long as he was home for dinner. The nearly three-year-old was now speaking in comprehensible sentences, at least ones his ama could understand and was always on the go. This evening, when she picked him up, he was babbling about all the different things Vanné and he had gotten up to while Dormé was out grocery shopping. Though Saché's household servants had the duty of the major shopping, Dormé never liked having to rely on them and was always wanting to help out where she could. She also knew that eventually, once she had enough credits, she would have to move out. But this evening, she was consumed with the task of trying to get Siac home safely before it got too dark out. She still didn't like speeders and preferred to walk rather than attempt driving one. She didn't think she would be able to do so safely and didn't want to risk it, especially not with Siac.

When they arrived back home, Dormé wanted Siac to have his dinner, but the little one had raced into his room to get one of his modified inventions. 'Siac—dinner!' she called.

After the third or fourth time trying to get his attention, Dormé shook her head and went to fetch him. What she found when she arrived at his bedroom door made her heart swell. Siac lay on his bed with the contraptions and toys strewn about, his mouth half open as his little chest rose and fell.

Dormé couldn't resist a grin as she looked on him before returning to the kitchen to put the food away for later. It was as though he hadn't had any rest since they parted, so she wanted him to relax. Once everything was put away, she went to lie next to him and watch him as he slept.

Smiling secretly to herself, Dormé pulled the blankets up around Siac and kissed his brow.

Siac muttered something in his sleep and rolled over.

Dormé then closed the door partially before going to have dinner and saving some for Siac just in case he woke up. _He reminds me so much of you,_ she said in her thoughts, hoping that Anakin could hear her. _Every day it's something new, but it's always you._

* * *

Anakin was about to receive a new promotion, one that neither the council or his former master was to know about. He was now to become the supreme chancellor's personal spy.

'Your first duty,' Palpatine informed him, 'will be to apply for a position as a member of the Jedi Council.'

The very idea made Anakin want to be ill.

Sensing the boy's reluctance, Palpatine refused to back down. 'The safety of your unborn child is in your hands, my boy. If you leave, the child will most certainly be stolen away and be forced to live the life you have. Is that what you want for your son or daughter?'

It was with great reluctance that Anakin finally accepted, feeling as though he had just sold his soul.

* * *

Padmé heard about Anakin's new appointment after her meeting with the Alliance leaders. They had tried to speak to Palpatine, but nothing they did seemed to matter. There was talk of war and Padmé knew Anakin was not on the right side. She would have to talk to him. She had to persuade him that the new emperor was too powerful and that the democracy they had been fighting to protect no longer existed.

'Ani, I think it's a boy,' she said, trying her best to mend ways with him of only to convince him to fight on the right side, against the emperor, so they would truly have peace in the galaxy.

Though he was reluctant to join Padmé the young Jedi agreed simply because he wanted to discuss the matters of their divorce. However Padmé clearly had other things on her mind. 'How do you know?' he asked unable to deny a sense of excitement to the possibility of having another child. Though he loathed himself for his actions there was no way he could hold it against the child who had done nothing more than exist.

Sitting on the couch near the balcony, she mused that their child must be a boy, a son. Anakin would want a song, wouldn't he? 'I think it's a boy because he's kicking me so hard!' she replied, smiling and trying to win over the affection he used to have for her, the youthful, lustful glance he used to give her that seemed now so long ago. 'I heard about your new appointment to the Jedi Council. I'm so proud of you, Ani...'

Anakin frowned to Padmé's congratulatory words as he glanced away. 'They don't want me there, Padmé. I'm only there because of the supreme chancellor's influence.'

'The chancellor put you there? You didn't earn it?' Padmé asked after he turned away from her. 'I think the supreme chancellor has had way too much power for too long. It's time that he relinquish his powers and return it where it belongs, with the senate—' She had promised not to tell anyone about her secret pledge to her fellow Alliance members, but this was incredibly hard to do, especially now that her husband was so high up in the Jedi Order. It didn't matter whether his appointment was official or created by the chancellor. Padmé saw it as a potential for putting an end to the chancellor's rule and restoring the Republic from what was fast becoming a dictatorship.

'The senate? Tell Padmé how are they any better? They're all a bunch of liars and thieves! They only care about saving face and collecting their credits! At least the chancellor is doing something about the war! He's trying to expose the Jedi conspiracy and end the separatists' movements. Yes, he has a lot of power, but he's using it properly, as he should!'

'It doesn't change anything,' he maintained. 'I still want to end this farce as quickly as I can. Even you can't deny that nothing about this is right.'

Padmé couldn't believe what she was hearing. Anakin had been lying to her this whole time. She found it utterly appalling that this precocious young Jedi Knight would deceive her into thinking that he loved her and that she had, in fact, at least for a little while, loved him. Now that she knew the truth, it made it easier. Though Padmé hadn't been using their marriage for anything except for trying to lead what others considered to be a normal life, she had been trying to believe the lie she didn't know she had been lying about to herself for so long.

Anakin was startled by Padmé's reaction to his words. Surely she of all people knew that their marriage was nothing more than a farce. 'I thought you knew I wasn't serious! You actually believed that stupid rot I said about Tatooine sand?' Anakin balked in disbelief. 'You actually wanted to marry me?' he stammered feeling a sudden chill run down his spine. If this was indeed the case would that mean she wouldn't go through with the divorce?

'If something is not right, it is definitely because of the supreme chancellor who has held this position of power for far too long,' Padmé went on to say. 'The last thing I want is to raise out baby in the middle of a war with a dictator at its head.' She was far more impassioned talking about politics than she was about baby names and all of her handmaidens could tell, though they wouldn't speak a word of it to anyone. 'Why don't we ask Obi-Wan for help. Perhaps he could approach the Council about it and make them see reason.'

Anakin wouldn't have anything to do with it. He didn't want to place his friend at risk. This was his mess he'd just have to find a way to clean it up. 'Reason? Tell me Padmé just what about this mess is reasonable? We're trapped in a marriage we don't want. You're having a baby you have no intention of properly raising, and we hate each other!' Anakin growled.

'Besides, who said anything about you raising our baby? Last I checked, you knowing nothing about babies—you can't change diapers, feed them bottles—force you can't even clean! I don't want our child to live their life in a loveless home with a mother who cares more about what people think of her than what her own child does. I might not have much, but at least I'd put their needs first!'

She gaped at him for a moment in shock at his words. He was right on many levels and merely seeing eye-to-eye with the younger man caused her to lose her power of speech.

Seeing the senator at a loss for words was a sight indeed. It took him a moment to fully register that she wasn't the ice queen he had always believed her to be. Despite appearances she was still a human, with emotions and fears.

Padmé didn't even think about Anakin's fling with her former handmaiden or the possibility that he could already have a child out there somewhere. Her thoughts were torn between the Alliance and plans that they had been making for some time now, her budding affections that she could no longer internally deny for Senator Organa, and the idea of being a mother. Padmé had read books already and had spoken with her sister. Even though they weren't that close, they were able to talk about her impending motherhood and had somewhat bonded over it. If she had questions, she could ask her, though Padmé didn't like having to ask for help. She was headstrong, always had been, and preferred doing things on her own. She was smart enough to know that one couldn't anticipate everything until one was faced with it. She couldn't anticipate the dirty nappies, the unceasing crying, or the lack of more than a few hours a night of rest.

But Padmé never had to deal with such things. She hadn't ever done her own laundry or cooking and cleaning. She always had other people to do such things for her. She could afford, on her salary, to pay someone else to take care of the child if it got to be too much for her to handle and then there was also boarding school. Raising a child wasn't that much different than ruling a planet anyway. Now Anakin was threatening to take her own flesh and blood away from her. That was something she couldn't allow. She considered the fact that it might be a Force-sensitive child, but also if it wasn't, then what would Anakin do with it? And if he wasn't going to have the child be brought up within the Jedi Temple, then how was he going to care for it? It wasn't as though he had a job! How was he going to support it nevermind take care of it?

Padmé was grateful for the opportunity to speak to Anakin again, hoping that this would mark a change in the temperamental Jedi. If she could convince him that she was concerned about the child and wanted what was best for it, would that facilitate a change? Certainly it would not have to come to the law to decide, for if it did, it would end up leaving her with the child and removing her of her position in the senate—unless she were to convince her otherwise. She wouldn't be found guilty of leading a Jedi to abandon the Order, would she? How would the public react to such a thing? No, certainly he wasn't going to leave the Order... The last thing on her mind was the idea of discussing a divorce settlement; she thought such things could wait until after the child was born. At least that way, if need be, she could use the child as leverage.

Yet as quickly as the moment of humanity was there, it was there it was gone. The masks were once more in place, this time Padmé was trying to portray the image of the loving mother. It didn't work and Anakin felt torn between playing along and throwing her out the door. But this was her quarters and she was with child and so he refrained.

'It is—I'm just sorry I had to be the one to make you understand that,' he admitted quietly. 'This isn't meant to be Padmé and you know it. Once the baby is born, I'm going to take it with me and leave. You'll have the life you knew before and I'll ensure the child never becomes a slave to the Jedi.'

The last thing she expected to hear was that her noble Jedi husband was not only going to take the child, but take it away from the Jedi as well. 'Slave of the Jedi' was a term she had not heard before, not from his lips.

He drove her mad and she was about ready to smack him across the face. But she caught herself in time. Padmé was smart, perhaps too smart for her own good, but she knew when a battle was lost and when it was won. To commit any act of violence against Anakin in that moment would be to prove him right on two accounts: that the senate was corrupt and hypocritical and that they were in a loveless marriage.

Instead, she rubbed her belly saying, 'I am putting our baby's needs first by trying to get you to listen to reason: that the supreme chancellor needs to relinquish his power so that democracy can be maintained in the Republic and that the war will end. This way, our child will never know the horrors of war and that his father might not end up dying in battle...' Although secretly, Padmé almost wished he would. It was a harsh thought, but one she couldn't help but think about. Why was he such a stubborn veermok? He certainly snored like one.

'What does the baby's needs have to do with politics, Padmé? The Supreme Chancellor's the only one whose willing to do whatever it takes to end this war. If anything, he is our last hope for peace! I don't understand why you can't see that. Or have the Separatists convinced you to turn on him as well?' he said in dark tones. This wasn't about him and Anakin knew it. Padmé wanted control, she thrived on it and that was why she was now using their child as a means of wielding power over him. Anakin refused to let their child, or any child for that matter ever become a weapon or a tool. 'Why do you care about this baby anyway? You're a politician, not a mother! You can't tell me that you wanted this life!'

She restrained herself from lashing out at his ignorance in political affairs, how he didn't know the first thing about what he claimed to know so much about, how he would rather deal with things through aggressive negotiations rather than a civilised discussion. She didn't know why Anakin bothered her so much, but she wasn't going to let him win by fighting about it. Though she doubted that he would hit a pregnant woman, carrying his child, she knew perfectly well about his own past.

Padmé was at the end of her rope. What else could she say that would really help? Even just giving up hope, giving up and losing her child...would that help? 'What if it's a girl?' she asked. 'How would you know how to raise a little girl?' What did Anakin know about girls anyway?

Her challenge only added to his frustration and he glared at her in agitation. 'And what if it is? I'd raise her with the same amount of love and care as I would if it were a boy!' he snapped. It was insulting to think that she'd believe he'd only love the child if it was a boy. What sort of backwater fool did she think he was anyway? 'It's not just your child. And if I recall correctly you were the one who wanted a career over the family life! I finally found a way to free us both and now you're fighting me tooth and nail over it? Why do you care about this marriage or our child?'

'I'm not at all thrilled at the idea that you think you can just waltz in here and steal my child from me,' she admitted with as little irritation in her voice that she could muster in that moment. She had warmed to the idea of having a child and ever since she spoke to Bail about it and seen the look on his face, his happiness...she wanted more than anything to be able to give him that joy.

Anakin was painfully clear about his decisions and opinions on the matter. There was little else she could say or do. How would she be able to hold on to this new life if he had the divorce he sought? Without the Force capabilities that Anakin possessed, how could she ever keep their child? It wasn't fair and she hated fighting this losing battle.

'I don't care what you think or what you say, Padmé. That child will be raised by me and our marriage will be dissolved. You try to use your rank and political power on me and I swear to you that not only will I kill you but I will destroy your family as well.' He stormed out, wanting nothing more than to put some distance between them. Anakin knew if he were to remain her their child might pay the price of his rage.

She didn't think that he would go to such lengths as to threaten her and her family. 'Ani, no—please!'

He was gone without looking back. Padmé stared at the closed door, not knowing what else to do.

Once she got a hold of herself, she went to her comm. 'I need to speak with the senator. Can you put him on?' she asked the aid.

'Senator Amidala?' Bail asked.

'I'm sorry—it's late. I shouldn't have bothered you...' she began.

'No, please, Padmé,' Bail replied, 'you're never a bother. What's going on?'

* * *

Despite Anakin's doubt the supreme chancellor was able to convince the Jedi Order to allow him a seat on the Council. It was very clear to both Anakin and everyone else that no one wanted him there. In reality he didn't want the position either but if it meant having his revenge he would do it.

However it wasn't without its price. A new mission was asked of him. This time he was to act as the Orders eyes and ears. Palpatine was the first person Anakin shared his discovery with. The elder Sith Lord ordered Anakin to remain silent on the matter until the right moment. When the time came he was to inform the council that he was in fact the elder Sith Lord that they had been seeking all along.

It wasn't long after that Anakin found himself having to stand in on a meeting with the Alliance leaders. To his shock, Padmé was a member of them. Though he spoke not a word of it, Anakin found himself growing even more distrustful of Padmé. What if she used their marriage as a weapon to keep him under her thumb? What if she tried to twist it around to play the victim and completely ruin what little chance he had of starting a new life with Dormé?

It ate at his mind, adding to his internal struggle leaving him torn between facing the truth and running away. When did his life suddenly turn so complicated?

It was two days since his discussion with Padmé that Anakin found himself once more in the offices of the supreme chancellor. The elder man's words both stunned and confused Anakin. He knew that there were plans underway to mark the Jedi's demise. The last thing he had expected was to discover that they were about to unfold so soon.

'I want you to tell the council that you know what I am—who I am; is that understood?'

Anakin frowned as he fell silent to the supreme chancellor's words. He still didn't understand how this plan was going to work or how he'd be ensured his revenge against the Jedi. 'You know that they're going to force you to give up your position,' Anakin argued in concern. 'You might be strong, but I doubt you're strong enough to take down the grand master, nevermind the entire council!'

'Do you doubt _me_, Jedi Skywalker?'

The smooth reply would normally send a chill down Anakin's spine. Its deadly calm held a warning that even he knew better than to question. But his thoughts were entirely elsewhere and he could only sigh in response. 'No, sir. I just—Everything I've ever truly wanted has always been taken from me. I want this chance for revenge—I need it.'

The elder Sith Lord gave a knowing smile as he set a heavy hand on the young warrior's shoulder. 'And you shall have it my boy. Now listen to me carefully and do exactly as I say...'

Later that day, Anakin spoke to Master Windu, explaining of his discovery that the Supreme Chancellor was indeed the Sith Lord they sought. As ordered, Anakin retired to the Jedi Council hall where he was to remain until the chancellor's arrest.

Though he knew what had to be done, Anakin was hesitant to follow through with the orders given to him by the supreme chancellor. Alone, he stood before the windows that overlooked Coruscant's upper levels. All he could think about was of Ferus's words, of Obi-Wan's kindness, and Ahsoka's safety. Anakin was at crossroads and though he had spent a lifetime longing for this moment, now that it was upon him, all he could think about was everything he could lose.

Through the Force, he could feel the coming darkness. The longing within him begged him to embrace it. It whispered into his thoughts, reminding him of the vengeance he rightfully deserved, of all he had lost and gave up for the Order, and of all who suffered by the hands of the Jedi.

But then he thought of Dormé, of their son, Siac, and the child he had yet to meet. Could he really face them if he went through with Palpatine's plan? Could he truly face his brother, Obi-Wan, in battle? Could he truly turn his back on his surrogate sister, Ahsoka, and his friend, Ferus?

_Dormé—help me. I feel like I'm drowning in this storm—what do I do? Where do I go?_ he whispered as he stared at his haunted reflection in the window. Though the dark side now clouded their bond Anakin desperately hoped his plea—his prayer—would be heard.

hr

Dormé awoke early, feeling incredibly alone. She didn't know why she felt this way, but just that she really wanted Anakin to be home, to be in this house, in this room, but most of all, in her arms. She approached the window and parted the blinds to see the sun rising over the lake, peeking through the trees. She drew a robe around her shoulders, feeling chilly as she looked out into the distance. She knew it was much earlier than usual and that she didn't have to be at work for another three hours, but she couldn't bring herself to go back to sleep.

For the first time in such a long while, Dormé heard Anakin's voice in her head. _Dormé—-help me._

How could she help him when he was so far away? _Anakin, I can hear you— _she replied, hoping that he could hear her as well.

Anakin stared outside his thoughts a storm of darkness and inner turmoil. He knew that he was at a crossroad, one that would change everything that he had ever known. It wasn't the first time in his life that he felt as though the weight of the galaxy sat on his shoulders. Nor was it the first time he felt uncertain about his future or which way he should go. But it was the first time he felt free and it terrified him.

_Where are you, my love? _She couldn't stop herself from saying this, even though she had no right to call him her love. She had no regrets and that her purpose was pure and true, not trying to hold onto something that she had no claim to.

Like a child he began to pray pleading with the one who held his soul and heart to save him. And from the darkness he heard her voice. Closing his eyes, Anakin swallowed hard as he fought back the unshed tears. How he had longed to hear her speak to him in that way—to call him her love.

_I feel like I'm drowning in this storm—what do I do? Where do I go?_

_Shall I come to you? I want to help you—_

_No—this is something I must do alone. I—need to know if what I'm going to do is right. Please tell me that it's right—that I'm alright. That this is meant to be._

He pleaded softly through their Force bond. Closing his eyes his thoughts suddenly cleared and in that moment he could see her standing before him.

Dormé closed her eyes against the onslaught of sunlight that just made its way over the treetops. She reached out to her beloved, unknowingly through their Force bond, and she could see him. Dormé didn't know how it was possible, but she saw him standing in the darkness, in the Jedi Temple, a place she had never set foot in. He looked so troubled, so exhausted and torn. She wanted to hold him_. I want to tell you to just leave everything and come home, but I know that's not possible_, she tearfully confessed to him.

He could feel and see her sorrow, just as he could see the love and faith in her eyes. Her words tore at his heart and yet it gave him a strength he had never known. Whatever was to come, he would not ever have to face it alone.

_Whatever you decide to do, Anakin, please know that I will support you. Whatever is to come, it will not displace my love for you, my dearest friend._

With a sad smile Anakin reached out to touch her cheek. _Thank you, my love. I swear to you, I will not fail you, not again._

Emerging from his trance-like state, Anakin felt a new sense of determination and courage come over him. Without a second thought, he departed from the Council hall and sought out the supreme chancellor.

The doubts that once plagued his mind were now nothing more than a memory. With Dormé's faith and courage, Anakin knew anything would be possible. Little did he realise that on this night he would test her faith in ways neither could possibly imagine.

* * *

A/N: Coming up - _'You need to get out of here, Ahsoka,' Ferus said, grabbing her arm and staring at her fiercely. 'It's not safe—'_

Ferus jumped. Though his thoughts were terribly muddled, Ahsoka's presence helped clear his head. Upon entering the temple, Ferus saw dead clone troopers and blaster marks scorching various places. But the further they


End file.
